"Are you okay?" I asked quietly as I stood in
the doorway of his home office, fingers braced on the door knob,
ready to bolt.
Kyle, who was stalking around the room like a
mad man, froze and spun around to face me. I watched his whole body
stiffen as he clenched his eyes shut. His hair was sticking up in
forty different directions, and when he finally did open his eyes
and look at me, I was stunned at the wild, untamed fury staring
back at me. "I hate him, Lee," he whispered softly as he sank down
on his black, leather chair and rested his elbows on his legs, his
head in his hands. "I fucking hate him, baby."
"Me too," I told him as I cautiously moved
towards him.
Kyle looked up at me with a lost expression.
"Why now?" he asked, his voice barely more than a whisper. "Why is
he doing this to me now?"
"Kyle…" I rushed towards him and climbed onto
his lap. "Don't let him get to you," I whispered as I wrapped my
arms around his neck. "He's not worth worrying about. He is a very
bad man."
His arms wrapped around me so tightly I could
barely breathe, but I didn't dare move. He needed the grounding and
I needed the feel of him. "I can't…" He stopped and inhaled deeply,
his breath hot against my neck. "I lose control around him, Lee,"
he admitted. "I fucking hate that he can do that to me, and I hate
myself for giving him the power to do it."
"It's okay to lose control, Kyle," I told him
as I clung to his strong body. "I spend most of my life not in
control."
I felt him smile against my neck. "Yeah,
princess, you may not be in control sometimes, but you still have
your self-control…" He shuddered and squeezed me tightly. "Mine
just…snaps."
His words sent chills through my body and
turned the blood in my veins to ice. I had lived with a man who had
the very same problem…but this was Kyle. He would never hurt
anyone.
'Mine just snaps.'
My heart vehemently squashed those
red-flags.
"I love you," I whispered because, quite
frankly, there wasn't anything else I could say. I could hardly
deny he was hot-tempered. Whether it was right or wrong, the
blistering fierceness Kyle possessed–the virile intensity that
emanated from him–was a terrifyingly addictive enticement.
"I know you do," he whispered. "It's what
keeps me sane."
"Kyle," I said as I pushed back so I could
look at his face. "There's a difference between being in control
and being in charge."
"I'm not following you, princess," he said as
he frowned at me. I wasn't sure I was following myself, but the
words had popped into my head and I was desperate to comfort
him.
"You don't have to live your life being in
control of everything," I said as gently as I could as I tried to
verbalize what I meant. "Being in charge of something is just as
effective. It just means that you can step back a little. Give
yourself a little breathing space and be okay with it if things
don't go to plan. Life is unpredictable. You can't plan, plot and
execute everything. Life is full of uncontrollable elements. Take
charge of yourself and accept that is enough. Let David Henderson,
and whoever else that upsets you, go to hell. You can't change
them, so why waste your energy on trying."
"Lee." He shuddered and tightened his grip on
me. "It's not that easy," he admitted. "He gets under my skin. I'm
so fucking angry right now. My body is literally burning with
rage."
"Come on," I said, covering my anxiety with
an upbeat tone of voice, as I climbed off his lap and crossed the
room. I needed to get his mind off his father fast and I knew just
the trick. "Let's go check out that hot-tub."
Kyle's whole frame relaxed immediately and I
felt like sagging in relief. "So, I'm forgiven for earlier, am I?"
he asked sheepishly as he stood up slowly and prowled towards
me.
I'd forgive him for just about anything right
now. I needed him happy. It crushed me to see him so lost. I hated
David Henderson for doing this to him. For making my self-assured
man feel so damaged. "That depends," I teased, feeling more relaxed
now that I could see he was relaxing.
"Oh yeah?" Kyle grinned as he stalked towards
me. "On what?"
"On how many times you can make it up to me,"
I said boldly as I pulled my t-shirt over my head and threw it at
him before stepping out of his reach and unsnapping the front clasp
of my bra. "If I remember correctly, you said you like a
challenge..." Opening my jeans, I slowly peeled down the zip and
exposed the front of my black lace panties. "Think you can take me
on, tough guy?"
Kyle growled and it was a deep, guttural
sound. "You wanna play, princess?" he asked as his eyes roamed over
my body before landing on my flushed face.
He smirked and stepped towards me. I backed
up again and shook my head playfully. "You'll have to be faster
than that to catch me, Carter," I taunted as I shimmied out of my
jeans and used my toe to fling them towards him. He caught my jeans
mid-air and tilted his head to one side in amusement. "Maybe I'm
too fast for you," I added.
His eyes darkened and my heart hammered
against my ribcage in anticipation. What had started as a
distraction technique had backfired in the most delicious way. I
was so turned on I was practically panting. "You're teasing me?" he
purred. I practically drooled when he pulled his t-shirt off–that
really sexy way men do when they grab the piece of fabric behind
their neck and yank it over their head–before dropping his shirt to
the floor and his fingers to his belt buckle. "You better run,
baby."
"Make me," I breathed. The muscles in his
stomach rippled as he stalked towards me and I was a goner…
****
The sound of Kyle's hushed whispers woke me
from my first nightmare-free sleep in what felt like forever.
Stretching lazily, I blinked my eyes open and sighed contently. My
bones felt like jelly from our earlier antics in the hot-tub and
I'd never felt more sated…more rested. I was actually kinda proud
of myself and my female powers of persuasion. I'd talked Kyle down.
I'd calmed him down. I'd brought him back to me…
"I'm on my way," I heard him whisper seconds
before her threw the covers off himself and climbed out of bed.
I rolled onto my back and stared up at him.
"What's wrong?" I asked quietly. "Who was that?" Kyle turned his
face away from me, not looking me in the eye. "Kyle," I said
nervously as I sat up and watched him dress quickly. Fear filled
me. "What's going on?"
"Will you be okay if I head out for a little
while, baby?" he asked me as he grabbed his keys off the bedside
table. "There's a problem at the hotel."
Liar.
"What kind of problem?" I asked
in a flat tone of voice. I knew by the guilty expression he wore on
his face, as he stood at the side of our bed looking down at me, he
was lying. It was the same expression he used to wear early on in
our relationship–right before he lied to me.
"Nothing for you to worry about," he
muttered, staring a point on the headboard behind next to my face.
"Will you be okay here?"
If I thought it would make him stay I would
scream NO. There was little point in that though. He would either
wait until I was asleep and sneak out then, or have Linda come over
and sit with me.
Either way I lost.
Either way he was going to run after her.
There was no emergency at the hotel.
He was going to see my mother.
"Yes," I replied while my mind was screaming
'bastard.' The betrayal I felt was heady–suffocating. After
everything he'd been through with David…I backed him up. I freaking
stood by him. And when I needed his support he wouldn’t give it.
How could he justify this? It wasn’t fair. He was breaking my
heart.
"I'll be back before you know it." He leaned
down and kissed my forehead before rushing out the room.
I sat in a state of shock and disgust as my
mind tossed up every horrific moment of my life. Everything she
could have stopped. She did nothing. She left me on my own with
him
. And now, after everything we'd been through today, he
was leaving me for
her
. On my own. In the middle of nowhere.
Frantic fear settled inside of me. What if David showed up? What if
daddy showed up? What if Rachel broke out and came looking for
me…My mind knew I was overreacting, but my survival instincts were
on code red…
It's dark. It is pitch black and I have no
clue of how to protect us. What if someone breaks in? It's not like
the hotel. No one is here. No one will hear me...
I waited until I heard the front door slam
before climbing out of bed and rushing down the hallway to Hope's
bedroom. Slipping inside, I locked the bedroom door and, as quietly
as I could, I dragged the rocking chair over to fit behind the
door. Hope snored softly in her crib, not even stirring from the
soft scraping noise of the timber chair being dragged over wooden
floor. I didn't have a blanket so I grabbed one of the huge stuffed
animals from her shelf and used it to keep warm as I settled down
on the chair. I kept my eyes on the window directly in front of
me.
I needed to be prepared.
I wasn't going to be anyone's victim
again.
****
Kyle
I hit every red light on the way to Tracy's
house and by the time I arrived it had been over an hour since her
call. Unlocking the little wooden gate at the entrance to her
garden, I walked up the path and knocked on the front door.
"Who is it?" I heard her ask from behind the
door and I rolled my eyes. She knew I was coming.
"It's Santa," I muttered, rolling my eyes.
"Let me in." The sound of a deadbolt sliding and numerous other
clanging noises broke the silence. The door opened about a foot
inwards and I slipped through the gap. "You know," I mused. "I'm
gonna have to lose weight if you expect me to fit through here
again."
"I'm sorry," Tracy mumbled as she held her
cheeks in her hands. "I have to be cautious."
Tracy's hair, so similar to Lee's, was
shooting out in all directions and I felt my heart squeeze.
Everything about the woman made me want to tuck her away and keep
her safe. She had such a horrific life. She'd suffered both
physical and mental abuse at the hands of Lee's father. He'd broken
Tracy down until she'd cracked and left–without Lee. She had
redeemed herself in my eyes when saved my girl's life and she was
still being punished for something that I was fully convinced was
Jimmy Bennett's entire fault.
The thought of Lee standing up to my father
flooded my conscience and I immediately batted it away. This was
different. Tracy was a good person. David was scum…
"I think he's back, Kyle," she blurted out.
"I think Jimmy is back in Colorado and I think he knows I'm
here."
I sighed heavily.
This shit just kept
getting better.
"He's not here, Tracy," I told her firmly.
"Let's just calm down for a second and tell me why you think that."
Walking into the kitchen, I switched on the light, grabbed the
kettle and filled it with water before switching it on. I needed a
truck load of coffee in order to deal with this calmly.
I knew for a fact Jimmy wasn't in Colorado.
The fucker was back home in Louisiana living it up with my goddamn
money and with any hope drinking himself to death...
"I saw him," Tracy whispered. "At least I
think I saw him…"
"Okay," I said calmly as I turned around to
face her. "Let's see if you're right." She was wrong, but telling
her that wouldn't go down well and I wasn't in the mood to chase
her flighty ass around the city. There was only one way I could
convince her she was safe.
Leaning against the countertop behind me, I
pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed his home number before
putting my phone on loud speaker. I focused on her face while we
both listened to the phone ringing.
"Who's there?" Jimmy's slurred southern drawl
filled the room. I raised my brow at Tracy and turned the screen
around so she could see it was his home phone number I was calling.
She sagged in relief and covered her mouth with her hands as if she
was afraid to make a sound. "You got nothing to say to me?" he
demanded.
"Hang up," Tracy mouthed as she shook her
head, eyes wide and fearful.
"Is that you, Delia?" he growled and Tracy
whimpered loudly. Jimmy laughed roughly having clearly heard
Tracy's startled cry. "What's wrong, darling?" he sneered. "City
boy kicked you to the curb already? You wanna come crawling home
to…"
"It's me, asshole," I snarled, taking my
phone off loudspeaker before putting it to my ear. "And the only
person who will be crawling is you if you as much as step foot in
Boulder again." Tracy's eyes were bulging and fixated on my face in
what looked like adoration. I turned around, feeling uncomfortable
with being gawked at.
"Don't threaten me, boy," Jimmy said
menacingly. "I've been keeping to my side of my deal...although I
could use a little top-up."
"You won't get another penny from me," I
hissed. "Be fucking grateful you got anything in the first
place."
"Is twenty grand all she's worth to you?"
Jimmy taunted. "Then again, I can't really blame you. She is used
goods. Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free, aint that
the saying, boy?"
"Are you for fucking real?" I roared as I ran
my hand through my hair before yanking on it in a bid to keep my
free hand busy and stop myself from breaking something. As it stood
I was fairly certain I'd cracked the cover of my phone. "That's
your daughter you're talking about. What the hell is wrong with
you?"
"Pity she doesn't remember that," he mused.
"Spent eighteen damn years raising that little bitch and how does
she repay me?" he snarled. "By running off to the city and getting
herself knocked up, that's how. You know, she aint gonna stay with
you," he growled. "She'll be back. Girl's as dumb as a stack of
bricks," he laughed. "All I gotta do is snap my fingers and she'll
come running, boy…" My phone was pulled out of my hand before I had
a chance to respond.