Falling (9 page)

“Abby?” Blake is waving his hand in front of my face. “You okay? You kind of zoned out for a minute there."

“Sorry, just having a hard time focusing today.”

“So I really hope we win tonight at Mathletes. I hear Tucker High is tough,” he says with a scowl on his face.

“Yeah, I think they are undefeated,” I respond as I see Connor heading down the hall in our direction. I knew I would see him today, but I didn’t realize that the pain would get worse. I thought I had cried myself to the point of numbness, but I was wrong. I turn around and hurry towards the nearest restroom. I have to get away from him. I know Blake probably thinks I am a freak for walking away in mid-conversation but I can’t face Connor, not with my heart in shreds.

I hide out in the bathroom until I hear the late bell. I will take a detention before dealing with him. I hurriedly exit the restroom and immediately feel a sense of relief when I see the hallway is empty. As I start walking towards my next class, I realize that I forgot to go to my locker in my rush to escape Connor. I would just skip going, but my homework and textbook are in there for U.S. history. I am concentrating so hard on grabbing my stuff and getting to class, I don’t notice that someone is leaning against the wall next to my locker. As I slam my locker door, I look up into the eyes of the one person I do not want to see.

“Abby, please talk to me. I have been calling you since Friday. I looked for you all day yesterday, but you weren’t at school. I have been going crazy worrying about you." I look up into the face that I still love and the boy who owned my heart for so many years and wonder if I ever really knew him. I turn to walk away, but he steps in front of me.

“I am not moving until you listen to me,” he threatens.

“Fine, I guess I will find another way to get to history,” I respond as I turn around and walk in the other direction.

“Abby, I need you to understand what you heard. Please just give me a chance to explain,” he pleads.

“Maybe another time,” I say coldly even though my heart is bleeding with each word he says.  I walk away without looking back.

***********

“I can’t believe we lost,” I complain to Leah and Miles. “What the heck happened to us?”

“Well, none of us knew the answer to that last problem, that is what happened Abby,” Miles says with a little smile.

“Thanks for the info, smart guy,” I reply to Miles. I smile back so he knows that I am just teasing.

“Abby look, isn’t that your parents over there?” Leah asks with a bewildered look. I glance in the direction she pointed and sure enough, there are my parents standing by the door waiting for me.

“Mom? Dad?“ I call to them as I walk towards the door. “What are you guys doing here?”

“Well, we knew that you had a competition tonight. We thought we would come see our brilliant daughter in action,” my dad explains.

“We weren’t exactly brilliant tonight. We got beat,” I frown.

“You did great, honey. I don’t remember how to do half those problems your team was working out. I am really impressed and proud of you. It must take a lot of time and effort to study for this type of competition,” my mom says beaming at me.

“So, your mom and I thought we could go out to dinner and celebrate,” my dad suggests.

“We got beat, Dad. You don’t celebrate when you lose.”

“Yes, we are going to celebrate.  We are going to celebrate that our daughter is one of the smartest students at Sutherland High,” Dad argues. I blush because my parents usually don’t make a big deal about me or my accomplishments. My dad grabs me in a hug and squeezes the breath out of me. My mom puts her arm around my shoulders.

“So, you ready to go, honey?” she asks.

“One second, I’ve got to grab my jacket and keys. Go ahead and start walking to the car, I will catch up. I want to say bye to everyone right quickly,” I say as I run off.  I explain to Leah that I can’t go to Charlie’s with her and Miles because of my parents. I wave to all the Mathletes as I leave the library. I begin to jog to catch up with my parents when I hear someone call my name. I turn back towards the library and notice Connor following me.

“Didn’t we already have this discussion, Connor? I really have to go, my parents are waiting.”

“I came to watch you tonight. You did great,” he states nervously.

“We lost." I notice his eyes look tired and there are black smudges underneath them, like he hasn’t been getting enough sleep. I shouldn’t feel worried about him but I do. He looks so sad.

“You look tired,” I say before I can stop myself.

“I haven’t been sleeping very well this week. Abby, I . . .”

“Look,” I interrupt, “I have to get going. My parents are waiting in the parking lot, “I say as I jog towards the outside door.

“Abby, you okay?” Mom asks as I get in the car. She must have seen me talking to Connor. I nod then turn to stare out the window.

For the rest of the evening, my mom and dad spend time just getting to know me and finding out about the parts of my life they have missed out on. I don’t know if I can forget their lack of interest, but their efforts this week are helping me to forgive them and hopefully move on to a better place.

After dinner, my parents take me back to school to get my car. As I unlock the door, I see a piece of paper folded under my windshield wiper. As soon as I grab it, I know it is from Connor.

Abby-

I’m sorry and I know I screwed up.  Please give me a chance to explain. I miss you.

Connor

I fold the note and stick it in my pocket. On the drive home, I thought about Connor and the whole situation. At some point, I would be ready to listen but not now. It still hurt too much to be near him. Once the pain subsides a little, I will be able to deal with him in a logical manner.  Until then, I will continue to avoid him and his excuses.

***********

The rest of the week I continued to suffer every time I glimpsed Connor. I found strength in the small ways I found to avoid him. I would sit facing away from him at lunch. I walked different routes to class to ensure we didn’t pass in the hallway. I went to my locker only before and after school. However, I couldn’t avoid him in pre-calculus, I mean he was in the same room. He knew what I was doing so he had decided to try a new tactic. He moved into the seat next to mine so it was impossible to ignore him. I could tell by the looks he directed my way during math class that my evasiveness was getting to him.

By Friday, he looked exhausted and ragged. My heart wept at the sight of him looking so disheveled and unhappy. Yet every time I started to feel sorry for him, I would remember his harsh words at the fall festival and renew my resolve to avoid him.

The situation was taken out of my hands when my parents made an announcement that weekend.

“So, your mom and I have something to tell you both,” Dad says. “As you know, your mom and I celebrated our 20
th
wedding anniversary a couple of weeks ago.  We both decided that since it was the big 20 we needed to do something big. So we are taking a trip, just your mom and me. We are going to Hawaii. We will be gone all next week. I just wanted to give you a heads up that you will be staying with the Sparks.”

I can’t believe we are staying with the Sparks. That means Connor for a week. I have been avoiding him at school, but that will be impossible if I am living in the same house. My parents knew that a boy hurt me, but I never told them who. If I told them it was Connor, they would change their plans. I look up at my mom and dad, but they look so happy and excited about taking this trip together. I can survive a week with Connor for them. They have been trying harder for our family and I will do the same for them.

“Honey, aren’t you excited? A whole week with Leah,” my dad asks puzzled by my reaction to the announcement.

“Of course, I am excited." I lie.

**********

“I can’t believe you are staying with us for a whole week. I am so excited,.” Leah says as she jumps on her bed. This is the first time I have been to the Spark’s house since the fall festival.

“I know, me too. I can’t believe my parents are leaving for Hawaii in a couple of days. Allie is so excited about staying with you. She thinks it is going to be one big slumber party.”

“I love your little sister. Mom said you both were going to sleep in the spare bedroom down the hall. She explained that if you were allowed to sleep in here, we would talk all night. I had to agree."

“So how are things with Miles going?”

“Wonderful,” she sighs, “he is so sweet. So, when are you going to tell me the whole story about you and Connor? I asked him for details but he just growled at me. I mean he actually growled at me. He has been so moody this past week, I have just kept my distance.” She shrugs her shoulders and rolls her eyes.

“There is nothing really to tell. We got in an argument, that’s all.”

“What was the argument about? You are always so vague,” she complains.

“He hurt my feelings.” I say sadly. It still makes me want to cry when I think about it. We both turn towards the door when we hear a knock.

“Yeah?" Leah yells.

“Leah, have you seen my black football shirt. I know you like to wear it,” Connor says as he opens the door. His eyes widen when he sees me sitting on Leah’s bed. “Abby, I didn’t know you were here. How have you been?” he asks me nervously.

“Good. Well, Leah, I have to run.”

“Why?” she questions, “You haven’t been here long.”

“My family is going out to eat. We are trying to spend some time together before my parents leave on their trip. I will talk to you later. Bye Connor,” I say as I push past him at the door.

“Abby, wait a second please.” Connor whispers as I go by. When I ignore him, I hear him following me down the steps. As I leave the Sparks’ house, I know he is right behind me.

When I reach my car, I finally turn around and say, “What do you want?”

“I miss you. We used to hang out, and now it is like you have cut me out of your life. I miss you more than I ever thought I could.”

“Why do you miss me? I mean, let me see if I can remember your wording. 'I have to be nice to her, she’s my little sister’s best friend.' Then you made a point of making fun of how I looked. Why would you say that unless you meant it?" I say as my eyes start to water.

“Please, just listen,” Connor says franticly, “Samantha was asking all these questions about you and me. I didn’t know how to answer them. I panicked and just said that. I didn’t mean it. I love how you look. I love hanging out with you. Please forgive me, I can’t stand you being mad at me.”

“I don’t know. I just don’t know if I can believe you anymore. I gotta go.” As I pull out of the driveway, I look in my rearview mirror at Connor. He is still standing in the exact same place with a look on his face as if I destroyed him.

Chapter 11

My parents left this morning for Hawaii and my week with the Sparks begins. Connor has not approached me since the altercation in the driveway. I have been thinking a lot about him, though. He seemed genuinely upset about the situation, maybe I should give him another chance. I am scared of being his friend and concerned that my feelings for him will resurface. I will just take this week one day at a time and see what happens.

Allie and I are staying in the guest room down the hall from Leah’s bedroom. My clothes are hung in the closet, along with Allie’s. It feels so weird to be away from home, even knowing it is just around the corner. Mrs. Spark calls us down to dinner. I guess there is no putting off the inevitable, seeing Connor.

As we enter the dining room, I laugh when I see Leah sitting in her normal chair grinning at me.

“So how does it feel to be a Spark for the week, guys?” she chuckles. I roll my eyes, sometimes she is so corny.

“Thanks again for letting Allie and I stay here. We really appreciate it,” I say as Connor comes in and sits down in front of me. He looks at me for a second and then glances away. Well, no time like the present to mend fences.

“So Connor, how is football going?" I ask with a
small smile. He looks momentarily stunned and then grins at me.

“Good, but I missed you at the last two ballgames." Leah and his parents look up puzzled by this statement.

“Son, how would you know Abby wasn’t there, you were playing?” Mr. Spark asks.

“I always notice when you guys arrive at the field and so I always see Abby with you. She wasn’t there the last two weeks. I missed her being there." Leah and her parents continue to stare at Connor with bewildered looks. Time for a change of subject.

“So the Mathletes last competition is this week. I am glad to be done with the season. I can only take so much math. “ Leah says with a snort. I nod my head in total agreement.

“So, Allie, you are being quiet. Tell us about your day at school,” Mrs. Sparks requests. I laugh and shake my head, because once Allie starts talking there is no stopping her. She is so energetic and easy to love that by the end of her story, everyone at the table is trembling with laughter.