Falling (3 page)

Three sections later we are in geo-political theories. “What's a geo politician?” She asks herself out loud.

You can't tell if someone is going to be dumb by just looking at them, unfortunate in this situation. I look around, we are deep in the library, I think we went up to the third floor.

“You want lunch.” I say loudly. I'm really bored. And I can't get out until there are less people around. Who knew so many people wanted to read about geo-political theories on a Saturday morning?

Her head pops up, swaying slightly from side to side. Stopping, she reaches into her giant bag and pulls out a tiny phone, brushes her fingers over the screen. The time pops up and she slides it back into her bag.

She walks slowly back towards the stairs. She must be waiting for someone or something to start. She has to take each step down the three flights of stairs with careful thought, because her five inch heels have a pencil thin spike. It takes ten minutes to reach the first floor.

At the bottom of the last flight of stairs, she swings back her hair, letting the thick blonde length bounce away from her as we strut across the ground floor and out the wide double doors. Even though she isn’t the most interesting person, I really love this part of being in people, going to see what the world looks like through their eyes.

It’s the only good part about this, I don’t know why I can jump into people, or why I can stay in them until I jump out. I can’t even figure out why I can do it to some people and with others it’s like I have to, like I am being pulled into their bodies.

We walk for a minute, but I don't think she knows where she is going again. Maybe. Nope, she's a stalker, too. But he is amazing-looking. I lean forward in her to get a better look of him. He is walking toward us, a small smile building on his lips. He is seriously hot. Follow him. Please, if we’re going to follow someone, choose him.

He keeps coming, then leans down and kisses us on the mouth. I couldn’t feel it and I’m still breathless. I might bring snacks and just live in here if she’s going to hang out with him.

“How was your morning?” He asks.

“I just went to the library.” She answers like she does it all the time.

“That sounds nice, you get anything.”

“Nah, I’ve got most everything I want from there.” The one magazine.

“We can go to a bookstore if you want something else.” We stop walking while he moves onto the road. He even has a car, no bus. This is just getting better.

“Maybe another time. Today I have more important things to shop for.” She gets into the car flaring her nostrils slightly, not touching anything she doesn’t absolutely have to. I have to remember which way we are going so I can get back. The bus stop to get back to school is in front of the library.

We drive for a couple of minutes of her talking non-stop about how excited she is about going away to college on Tuesday before we pull into the mall carpark.

We move painfully slowly toward the food court. She can't go any faster in her stupid shoes, then the girl starts squealing, seriously squealing; clapping her hands together, jumping up and down. In tiny clicking leaps, her heels making it sound like horse-shoes being tapped together.

“Keller, look at the little tiny puppy.” She is holding his hand trying to get him to come closer, but she can't, if she stands any closer to the glass pane she is going to be absorbed by it.

“Yeah, Hayden. It's cute.” Keller says. Even his voice is hot.

“Cute.” Hayden says indignant. “It is so totally, absolutely, the most precious thing in the world.”

Keller coughs, covering his laughter. “I thought you said the kitten in the other window is the most precious thing in the world, ever.”

“Don't mock me. I am allowed to be excited. You should so buy me one.” This girl is like a see-through bubble. Everything is on the outside. You can see how much is going on in the inside just by looking at her face.

Keller walks further into the shop. “Look at these. Freaky.” He says in an odd tone.

“Ew, what are they?” We peer into the glass tank. “Gross Keller! They are moving shells.”

“They're Hermit crabs.” He walks behind us and puts his arms around our shoulders. Either this guy is stupid or he feels sorry for her, because she is just not that smart.

Example. “Ew, crabs. That is so disgusting.”

I look away, trying to roll my eyes at her. Then I spot chickens. I’ve always wanted a chicken, they look so cool.

“Go look at the chickens.” I shout. She whips her head up.

“Did you say you wanted to look at the chickens?” She asks Keller.

“No, but they are kinda cool looking. Look at that one.” He says walking to the bird cages. “Look at the silver looking one. Those feathers are freaky.” He laughs at how they stick out in every direction.

“Yeah.” She sounds really confused. She is certain that it wasn’t her idea to look at these.

“Hey, they would match those shoes you want. The sparkly ones.” He adds when she stares at him blankly.

“What ones, I’ve never worn a pair of sparkly shoes in my life.” I do not understand how this girl was reading a magazine, I honestly doubt her ability to actually read.

“You know the ones,” he says, moving his hands as if trying to get the air around him to lend him the right word. “The really expensive, um, silvery ones. You know, you dragged me into the shop the other day.”

“You are comparing a pair of silver patent-leather heeled sandals to a freaky looking silver chicken?” She slides her hands to her hips like she has never heard anything more stupid in her whole life. “Do you realise that those shoes are worth two thousand dollars.”

He is so stunned his mouth falls open a little. “You actually thought I would buy you shoes that will cost a month’s wages?”

“It is an investment, Keller. They will never lose their value.” She sighs at him.

“You buy them then,” he says.

She sucks in her breath and manages to make a little popping, squeally sound at the same time. This is fun.

“Hayden, I would have to starve for a month,” he says, like he’s explaining physics to a four year old.

“You can eat at my house.” I wish I could see the look on her face, because her voice has gone all misty, like she might cry. “It would be like the most romantic gesture ever. A whole month of begging for food, to buy me the one thing in the whole world that I want.”

“What's romantic about dating a dead person?” He says sarcastically.

“Why would I be dating a dead person?” I can't help it. I laugh so hard, I almost fall out of her. She turns her head to poor, poor Keller. “Did you just laugh at me?”

“No.” The look on his face says that he wants to. “Sweets,” he says gently, as he lays his arm across our shoulder and pulls us into his big chest. “I am not going to spend two thousand dollars on one pair of shoes. Ask your dad.”

“I am independent now, Keller. I can't just run home and ask my dad for anything I want anymore. I am an adult.” She is woman; hear her whine.

“If you want to be independent, then you should buy them yourself.” He steers her out of the shop.

“But, there’s nothing dependent about you buying me gifts. In fact, that’s just being a good boyfriend.”

“So, I'm not a good boyfriend if I don't buy you two thousand dollar shoes?” He leans back and stops walking so he can look at her face. I think she’s offended him.

“Well, a good boyfriend gets his girlfriend presents.” She isn't even looking at him. We are walking past a bag shop.

“Hayden, I am a good boyfriend even if I don't buy you two thousand dollar shoes.”

“Of course you are.” And she walks away. I turn around in her body to look back at him, but I can't see him. She has no eyes at the back of her head, that's just inconsiderate of her, doesn't she know that I want to look at Keller?

“I'm going to eat.” He sounds mad. Ohhh, maybe I'll change my rules about following people home. I'd like to see this fight.

“Mmkay. Just give me a minute.” I can hear footsteps and they aren't coming toward us. Oh oh oh oh, she's in trouble. I am so following them home.

She stays looking at the bag shop. I want to shout at her to turn around, so that she notices he is gone. But I really want to see how long she will look at the bags before she figures out he's walked.

Five full minutes. I cannot believe it. If it wasn't for me having to pay the extra bus fare from here, I would be hoping that he has ditched her and gone home.

Ten minutes, okay, I'm bored now.

“Where's Keller?” I say as softly as I can so that she still hears it, I try to make it sound like she is thinking. She turns around.

She sighs, walking back to the food court. I rake my eyes over all the tables trying to find him. Actually I take it back, I'll pay the extra fare just to hear her when she figures out he's left her here, but we spot him at a table eating Chinese food.

She stomps over to his table, it can’t be easy in those shoes, and crosses her arms over her chest, looking down at him. “I was just going to be a minute.”

“Whatever. You eating?” He says in a dead voice, completely uninterested.

She slinks down into the chair opposite him. “What's wrong with you?” She asks sulky and takes the fork out of his hand and starts picking at the broccoli out of his container. He picks up the other fork and keeps eating silently.

“Why aren't you talking to me?” She asks whining.

“It doesn't make me a bad boyfriend because I'm not like all your rich friends. If that's the kind of boyfriend you want, then you should go find one. I'm sure your dad can point you in the right direction.”

“Don't be like that, Keller. I leave on Tuesday, let's have a good last few days okay? I don't care if you buy me things. You’re right, I'll ask my dad.”

Oh come on. That's your big sacrifice? I'll go ask Daddy like a giant baby?

He still doesn't look impressed. “Let's go.” He gets up abruptly holding his tray walking out. This is more like it.

“Come on, baby. We only just got here. Don't be mad with me.” She presses herself as close to him as she can, and speaks real slow, pausing after each word. “I. Think. You're. A. Great. Boyfriend.”

“What? Not the most precious in the whole world?” Keller says with his eyebrows raised, but you can tell he has forgiven her.

“Of course you are. There's no one better than you.”

“Come on, let’s go. I've been at work all morning. I want to go home and watch some football.” Keller says putting his arm around her again.

“Well I'm not watching football.”

“That's cool. Don't you have packing to do anyway? I can just drop you at home on my way.”

“I thought you were going to help me pack.”

“Whatever, let's go.” His arm drops off her.

I think I take it back. I don't want to see this fight, and I think it will be cheaper catching a bus from here than anywhere near where she probably lives. I quickly look around for somewhere good to jump out. There.

I push forward and, “whoa. Sorry… are you all right?” I dive out as she skims past a concrete pillar. She trips over my leg as I try to stand back up.

“No, I am not all right. I think I have a cut on my face.”

I look at her with fake concern. “Nope, not cut. Just clumsy.”

“I am so not clumsy. You walked into me.” She spits.

“I was leaning next to the pillar the whole time.” And just to be really horrible, I smile at Keller. “Hi, I'm Reid.”

He gives me the sweetest smile back. “Keller.”

“Who cares who she is? What a loser. Let's go.”

I laugh quietly as she begins to walk past me. Her eyes graze over me starting with my feet. She lifts her head and marches away, leaving Keller trailing behind her.

I'm not a stalker, I swear I am not a stalker. Okay, maybe just a little bit. I couldn’t stop thinking about him after I left the mall, so I went to the library again on Sunday morning and had a look to see if I could find the store he works at, it was only a couple down from the library. Now it’s Monday, and I know that I shouldn’t go back. I know that’s it’s just sad, but I have to get out of here. Mrs. Snouse has been following me everywhere since the Saturday-morning sneak-in.

I shouldn’t go, I should stay here and do something that isn’t so pathetic. I look at Sara’s tidy bed, all made and untouched. I think I’ll just go walk down to the bus stop.

* * *

I pause looking through the door of the record store Keller works at, but I can only see an older man behind the counter. I go the library, scanning the shelves for a minute while I decide what to do.

I flop myself into one of the big armchairs that are right in front of the huge glass windows, and gaze out at the street. I love watching people walk past me. Sometimes if I close my eyes, I can feel the lives moving around me, it makes me feel alive, like I’m a part of something. Even though I'm totally alone I can sense each body as it moves near me, even through the glass I can feel the pull of some people and not others.

I flick my magazine up closer to my face, and my eyes pull open as I search the faces moving in front of me over the top of the pages, matching the pull to the person it belongs to.

Stronger than all the others is a girl about my age walking past by herself. She looks nervous, pausing in front of the window. She checks her watch, pulling on the strap of her bag, looking each way down the street but never moving more than a foot each direction.

The pull to her isn’t forcing me to move, which is nice, but it’s strong enough to make me want to get up and follow her.

She rocks back on her feet, and the other people moving past her are starting to blur as she begins to pull at me more.

I turn my head away and look at the giant clock ticking on the wall, forcing myself to think about something else. I’m too pathetic to want to go with someone else today. I want to see Keller. I stare at the clock until my head clears and I can finally see what the time is. It’s been an hour, that should be enough time to have waited before I look for him at the store again.