Falling (9 page)

“See you there. Bye.” I walk into an open locker while I hold my phone and squeeze my eyes shut for a second in excitement.

Math.

Science.

English.

Accounting.

I pull my planner out as the rest of my class rushes for the door. Surely that can't be everything. Did I go to all of them? I stare at the planner. I must have. I jump out of my seat, my bag hanging half open, books and paper spilling out while I try to subdue them and shut all the stuff under the zipper.

He’s wearing blue jeans and a white t-shirt, I stand just inside the door watching him. His head leaning ever so slightly to the side, playing a game on his phone, completely oblivious to all the longing stares from the girls walking past him.

“I can see you,” I text from inside doorway.

His head pops up, looking around and a girl walking past slows down watching him. When he finally looks at her she smiles and stops for a second.

“U sound like a stalker. I should report U” He texts back, his head moving up again continuing his search. He pushes away from his car, taking tiny steps toward the building, indecisive about whether he should keep coming.

I walk slowly down the steps, laughing as he finally spots me. “How are you?” I ask stopping next to him.

“I was getting worried. I thought maybe the girl from yesterday had got my number from you.”

“That would be scary.” I pretend to shake. “Oh yeah, she asked me to say hi to you from her.” I place my hand in the centre of his chest and look up at him, my expression sweet. “Hi, from Megan.” I smile up at his face.

“I’m not sure whether to be creeped out or not.” He admits while the smile freezes on my mouth, and I try to keep my eyes up, but my hand is disappearing into his chest. I whip it away and turn around to the footsteps coming up behind me.

“Hi.” Keller says over my shoulder, Sara walks past me and stands next to him.

“You're going to make me learn to be a geek if you don't stop ditching me,” she complains at me.

“You just might have to. You could always lower yourself and start hanging out with the other juniors.”

“I think I'll learn to be a geek. I could learn stuff.” She waves her hand, not sure what stuff she could learn.

“Make sure you don't hurt yourself.” I pat her head.

But she is already turning on Keller. “If Reid keeps ditching me, I'm going to have to do my homework and get assignments done earlier than the night before they are due,” she sulks.

“Terrible. Awful friend,” Keller says to me, grabbing me around the waist and pulling me toward the car. I wonder if he can feel how un-naturally fast my heart is beating. “You can take her if you want,” he says to Sara, holding my whole body to his.

She crosses her arms, tapping her foot.

“Maybe we can make shared custody arrangements,” he offers her.

“Bye,” she says, rolling her eyes then laughing and bounces back up to school.

“So where are we off to today?” I ask slipping my arm through his.

“The mall? A bit of shopping to make up for you coming with me yesterday.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“How was your day?” He asks, like we have been doing this forever. He smiles at me when I don't answer straight away, then he slots the car between two buses like yesterday.

“Pretty good.” Until I almost fell into you again, right in front of school so that everyone could see it. I might as well hand out cards with the phone number and address of the local crazy house. That way everyone can report me when I tell them. No I didn’t disappear, I was
inside
of him. So much better, I’m not really nutty because I don’t just think I can fall into people, I really can jump inside people’s bodies.

“You okay? You look a bit sick.” He steals glances at me every few seconds.

“I’m fine. Just tired from all the swimming yesterday I think.” I lie, with sweat trickling down my spine from just remembering my hand inside of his chest.

“We should do something else then, so you don’t have to walk around for ages.”

“No, it’s fine. I’ll go to bed early tonight or something.”

“If you’re sure.” He pauses.

“I want to go.” I say. “Anyway you can just carry me if I get tired.” I smile brightly.

“Not a problem.” He squeezes my knee lightly. “Let’s go.” I watch him climb out of the car. I still can’t believe that he is here with me.

We wander through the mall looking at the shops without going into any of them. We slowly stroll along, Keller's arm holding my waist, while I attempt to stop myself from looking into his face so I don’t disappear again. Now he thinks I’m all weird because I won’t look at him if he is touching me in any way.

“Do you mind if we stop here before we go back?”

“Course.” He answers without even looking at where I want to go. He’s dropped his arm from my waist, so I can look at him to say thanks.

“Chocolate frappe,” I order. I could really get used to spending my afternoons like this, I have to drop my eyes as his hand brushes past me while he gives me my drink. All I have to do is figure out how to stop myself falling inside of him and it will be perfect.

“You sure you don’t need anything?” He asks for the twentieth time. “Shoes or something?” He squints at me. “You said you liked a pair in that second shoe shop, you don’t want to get them?”

“Really I’m good.”

“Okay.” He looks at me strangely as we walk back to his car holding only a drink.

When we get back to school he asks. “So you want to hang out tomorrow?”

“I could probably drag myself away from this place once more. Why? You got something planned?”

“Not really, I just want to.” He shrugs.

I try to come up with something really smart to say, but my brain is in melt down. “We should go do something you want to do this time.” I say, giving up on trying to be funny.

“I don't mind.” He says.

“I know, but it's not the point. You think about it, and we'll go do something you want to.”

“Okay.”

“Don't look so confused.” I reach over and smooth out the crease between his eyebrows. “It's supposed to be something fun, don't stress about it.” I have to keep talking because my hand is frozen on his face. You can’t touch him, what if you disappear again.

“I'll try.” He says not noticing my odd behaviour.

I reluctantly remove myself from the car. He waits until I am inside the building before he leaves.

“Shower,” I call out to Sara, running into our room and running out again with my towel to wind her up.

“Oh come on,” she calls out as I shut the door chuckling. “You've got to give me something after leaving me here all afternoon again,” she calls through the shut door.

* * *

I answer my phone and duck into the bathroom, on my way to English the next day already late “Hey.”

“Sorry, are you in class?”

I laugh, “Kinda. I was just walking in, now I'm in the bathroom whispering.”

He laughs, sounding distracted. “I have to work this afternoon. I can't take you out.”

“Oh. Well that's okay. You have to work, I understand.” I'm trying really hard not to let the dead weight of disappointment come out in my voice. “Don't worry about it. We can hang out tomorrow or something.” I stop talking, someone is walking past the bathroom.

“I can come and get you if you want,” he says quickly. “I don't want you to do my work for me or anything. But I only have to work till quarter past four, so we could do something after that.”

“That's awesome. But you stay at work. I'll catch the bus, it'll be just as fast, then you won't have to drive out twice.” That sounds outstandingly desperate.

“Are you sure? I don't mind coming to get you.” He offers.

I stop myself just in time from saying. I'm not Hayden, I can get myself to where I want to go. Instead, I say, “Please, I can get myself in. I'll meet you there about three thirty, you could always get me something to eat if you feel really bad though.” That sounds so much less like I was following them around.

He laughs. “I will. Now go back to class and get smart.”

“I'll give it my best shot, but don't count on too much. It will save the disappointment later.”

“See you later.” I hold onto my phone for a second then unlock myself from the bathroom and try to sneak back in to class.

“Ah, Miss South, you've decided to re-join us.” I shut the door gently. I was trying not to be noticed.

“Sorry, Sir. I'm feeling better.”

“Good to hear it,” Mr Dean says. “Now that you are suddenly healed, would you like to explain why Shakespeare is still as poignant today as when he wrote his works?”

“Sure.” I stretch the word out trying to come up with something better.

One bushy eyebrow moves higher as the seconds stretch on. “Maybe you would like to leave your social life for after school then. Take your seat, you'll need to take notes.”

“What social life?” Megan snickers to Amy.

“It's better than yours, Miss Cunningham” He says writing on the board. “And I doubt you can give a better answer than ‘sure.’ So why don't you get prepared to take notes also.” He looks at her over the notes he is copying from.

I bite my tongue. Tracy laughs next to me, and I bite harder. Mr. Dean does not like it when you react to what he says to other students, especially when he's just done the same to you. Megan is stuttering, Mr. Dean turns his back and continues writing on the board like nothing was said. Oh man, blood seeps out from my tongue from biting too hard.

He turns back around, perfectly bored face. “Right, let's get on with this.” He drags his eyes back to Megan. “Do you have something to add, Miss Cunningham?”

“No.” She spits the word out like it's burning her. Which it probably is.

Tracy laughs even louder, and Mr Dean’s eyes swing to her. She covers her mouth with her hand, but small tears dribble out the corners of her eyes she is laughing so hard. Mr Dean chooses to ignore it.

The bell rings, and I'm the first one out the door and down to the bus stop.

* * *

I jump down from the bus, looking in the big window at all the people wandering around in the library. Lucy is coming down the stairs, so I walk a little faster. Two groups of people are lounging over the sides of the two massive arm chairs next to the windows.

I stop outside Keller’s store for a second, feeling awkward about coming to hang out with him while he's at work. I can't decide if it seems really desperate or not. No, I know it seems desperate, I can't decide if I should care or not.

“Hi Mr. Green, nice to see you.” I say nervously as he looks at me.

I pull up a stool behind the counter next to Keller and eat the brownie that has my name written on the paper bag it’s in, then start picking at his while he isn't watching me.

Keller is putting price stickers on the backs of a towering stack of CDs.

“Okay, I'm finished, and I've half eaten yours. What can I do? Put me to work.” I say holding my hands up. “I need to be stopped.”

“You don't have to work. Just sit down, or go listen to some music. What do you like? I'll find it and put it on so you can listen to it.” He motions to the song stand where you can listen to music before buying it.

“Really I don't mind. Let me help you put the stickers on. That pile is bigger than me.” I stand next to it pretending to measure myself against it.

“If you want to.” He looks unsure.

I grab a sheet of the stickers, a pile of my own CDs, and start sticking. I stick one on his forehead when he turns to me. “Can I scan you?”

“Actually you can.” He lifts the scanner and moves it over his head, and it pops up on the screen. “Twelve dollars, a bit steep.” I say pausing, looking like I’m thinking hard about it.

“I agree,” his dad calls from his office. I laugh quietly, going back to sticking when a group of people walk in the store. One of them I recognise from school, but I don't know her name. She's a year or two younger than me.

Keller looks up, smiles automatically, they all give that smile back. Come on, do people only come here to look at Keller? He goes straight back to sticking stickers. “So how was the rest of your day?”

“Not too bad. I have to have my picture taken for the yearbook with my trophies from swimming tomorrow. That's going to pretty much suck.”

“Why?”

“Because I'm going to have to get back into my swimmers and smile with a pile of trophies. I always look weird in photos, it doesn't matter what I do. I just do.”

“Can I help you?” Keller asks a girl, turning away from me rolling his eyes.

“Yeah we can't figure out how to make the thing work so we can listen to the songs.” She points to the song stand.

“Okay.” He walks around the front of the counter. “You just put the head phones on.” He hands them to her. “Press that and, choose what one you want.”

“You’re so lucky to work with Keller,” the girl from my school says. “His girlfriend just left for college.”

“I don't work here,” I say.

“Oh, right.” She points to the stickers and CDs confused. Keller walks back to his spot.

“Is there anything you need?” He asks nicely.

“We go to school together,” I say.

“Oh hi.” He smiles at her. She walks away, looking confused.

“How many races did you actually win?” He asks, but I don't have time to answer.

“Sorry, but it doesn't work again.” The same girl pouts at Keller. He goes back to check the machine. His dad comes out of the office.

“That's real nice,” he says to me smiling. “He brings his girlfriend to work and makes her do everything while he talks to people.” All the girls’ heads pop up and look at me.

“She volunteered,” Keller says, walking back. “I tried to stop her, but she wouldn't stay on her chair.”

“That's because Reid is a person. People don't usually stay sitting on chairs perfectly still.” He shakes his head. “Right, you two should go. It'll quieten down a bit now.”

“We don't have to,” I say. “I don't mind staying.” Then my body starts pulling me toward one of the girls standing around the CD rack. I catch Keller's dad giving him a quick look as I walk toward the girls for no reason, I look around for something to grab onto, trying to slow my progress toward her down.