Falling (Bits and Pieces, Book 1) (43 page)

We did a full rehearsal of the entire concert after school. It felt so good to actually sing on stage. It also helped to hear the acoustics of the auditorium. I imagined what it would be like when there was an audience there. I couldn’t help but smile. It’s weird, but even though it’s me on stage, it isn’t. The music and lyrics wrapped some cloak around me and I’m someone else. It’s a great high.

I’d ride that high as long as I could. After rehearsal, I knew Patrick, Jason and Bobby would still be in basketball practice, so I headed toward the gym to watch. I hummed to myself as I turned the corner. Just then, I felt a strong pull on my backpack. I jerked back at the force and spun around. What the hell…

“You little bitch.” There was such hate dripping from those words.

“Becca? What did you call me?” Who the hell did she think she was? What did I ever do to her?

“You heard me, you little bitch. It’s all your fault.” Becca was seething.

“My fault?!” She blamed
me
for Patrick and her break up. I don’t think so! “It’s not my fault. Maybe you should look in the mirror to see who to blame.”

“Paddy and I were happy until you showed up.” Wow! Was she trying to make me feel guilty? Like I ruined some great love? Yeah, right. She really did live in her own world. I rolled my eyes in disbelief.

 
“Don’t blame me because
Patrick
finally saw you for the user you are.” I snapped back at her.

That did it. Becca shoved me with both her hands. I had to step back to keep my balance. I can’t believe she pushed me. No one pushes me. I wasn’t going to let her get away with it. I shoved her back.

My face stung as Becca hit me across the face. I felt every nerve in my body stand at attention. That ‘fight or flight’ instinct kicked in and I was not going to run. Even if I wanted to, it was too late for that. I returned her favor, by slapping her. I was so focused on Becca that I never really noticed her friends beside her. Once I made contact with her face, they jumped in. One of them grabbed my arms behind me.

I struggled to free myself. As I looked behind me at her friend who restrained me, Becca got in a cheap shot. Before I realized it, I felt a sudden and excruciating pain in my face. My eyes immediately filled with tears from the pain. Now, all I wanted to do was free my hands to grab my nose. I doubled over in pain. Blood dripped to the ground.

The pain was everywhere and came from every direction. It was squeezing the life out of me. Every breath I took seemed to come with a new sharp pain. My head moved around like a bobble-head doll. My knees were buckling underneath me. Whoever was holding me in place for Becca let go and I fell to the ground like a rag doll. That didn’t stop Becca or her friends from kicking or hitting me.

I felt like my ears were buzzing. I could vaguely make out what Becca was saying. I just wanted the beating to end. Why didn’t I notice her friends there as backup? How could I have been so stupid? I should have walked away the second I saw Becca. Why did I walk this way? If I didn’t take this shortcut… If I walked to the gym the normal way, she wouldn’t have been able to get me alone like this. I don’t think I can take much more of this. I felt my face against the cold concrete while the world faded into darkness.

28. PROTECTION

I felt something pull at my backpack. Was this starting all over again? Didn’t this just happen? I didn’t have the strength or ability to push it away. I could faintly hear my phone ringing then stop. I couldn’t tell if someone was there or not. Did someone just take my cell phone and answer it? Who?

“Patrick?” It was a guy’s voice. Wait, Patrick was calling me? Oh my god, I was supposed to meet him. That’s where I was going. “Joey.” Joey? What was he doing here?

Joey immediately yelled back into the phone, “I didn’t do anything. I just found her.” There was a short pause, “Over behind the girl’s locker room.”

Is that where I was? Behind the girl’s locker room? How long had I been lying here? Slowly, I was feeling like I could think and come out of the fog and darkness.

“Not good. Yeah. I’m not leaving her alone like this. Okay.” I heard my phone close shut. “Liz? It’s Joey. Can you hear me?”

I tried to say something, anything, but all that came out was, “Uhh…”

“Liz… you’re gonna be okay.”

I felt a hand on my shoulder. I immediately winced and the hand retracted. So, reactionary movements, I could do. Voluntary movements required so much more effort. I knew he wasn’t trying to hurt me, but I couldn’t help but feel scared. Even though he pulled his hand away, the spot he touched throbbed.

I heard several footsteps running in my direction. Did Becca and her friends come back? I put what little energy I had left into finding my way out of the fog. I managed to slowly open my eyes. Joey was on the ground next to me.

“Oh my god! Liz!” Patrick shouted. He fell to his knees beside me. Bobby and Jason were right behind him. I heard Emily and Cassie gasp. “What the hell happened?” He looked at Joey.

“I told you. I don’t know. I found her like this.” Joey responded defensively.

“Uhhh…” Was all I managed to say. I needed to do a better job of communicating than that. I was able to get my eyes open, now I had to get my mouth and brain to work together.

“Liz?” Patrick’s voice cracked as his attention turned back to me. I attempted to push myself up. Patrick helped me sit upright. His touch made me want to jerk back, like I did with Joey. I bit my lip and closed my eyes to set my resolve to sit up – I could taste the blood. I leaned against the wall behind me, grimacing in pain. “God, are you okay? Is anything broken?”

I thought back to that day in the alley and how broken ribs felt like. I had a lot of pain, but nothing resembling that kind of pain. “I don’t think so.” I managed to say softly. Finally, coherent words came out of my mouth.

I put my trembling hand to my face and felt the still wet blood. My nose had stopped gushing, but it was still bleeding. Emily took out a bunch of tissues from her backpack and handed it to me. I wadded them up and put them over my nose. I winced in pain as I applied pressure to my nose. Between the pain and loss of blood, I was so dizzy and light-headed. I had a hard time keeping my eyes open and my head steady. I just wanted everyone to go away. I didn’t mean that. I didn’t want to be alone, it’s just… I wanted everyone to stop staring at me with horror, pity and disbelief. That’s what I wanted to go away.

“Cassie, Emily, can you get her some water?” Patrick asked. It’s as if he knew I needed to get some of the pressure of everyone gawking at me off.

“Yeah, yeah. No problem. Come on, Cassie.” Emily and Cassie quickly left in the direction of a vending machine.

“Joey, thanks for staying with her, but we got it from here.” Patrick looked intently on me and barely glanced at Joey.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Joey was staring at me.

“You should go.” Bobby put his hand on Joey’s shoulder.

Joey shook off Bobby’s hand. “No. Not until Liz says so.”

I was not in the mood to referee. In fact, I felt like I was fading. The girls returned with some water and damp paper towels.

“Here, Liz.” Emily handed me an open water bottle. I slowly lifted my hand to get it. Patrick helped me hold on to the bottle since my grip on it was pretty weak. I sipped the water, which felt like it burned inside me. What I really felt was the cold water going down my parched throat and pain associated with anything that required the smallest effort.

“Let’s clean you up a little. Okay?” Cassie offered. I looked up at her and nodded. She looked at Joey. “Excuse me.” He stood up and stepped aside. She and Emily knelt down beside me. They gently wiped my face and hands. It stung.

Patrick finally asked the question that I knew everyone was wondering. “What happened?”

I looked down at the ground and blinked slowly. I had this nagging feeling that I was missing something. Becca said something that I didn’t really hear. What was it? How do I tell him? It wasn’t a question
if
I would tell him. But how?

“I was walking to the gym to meet you and… got into a fight, if you can call it that. At first, it was just words… next thing I knew I was outnumbered.” That was truthful.

“Who did this to you?”

I didn’t say anything.

“Who?” Patrick paused, waiting for an answer. “Liz, tell me who. I need to make sure that they never hurt you again.” I shook my head. “Why would you want to protect them?”

He had a point. I didn’t want her to get away with this, but I didn’t want to hurt him either. “It’s not them I’m protecting. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Don’t worry about me.” He sounded exasperated.

“Yeah, we got Patrick’s back. And yours.” Jason added.

Finally, I whispered. “Becca.”

“Your girlfriend!” Joey grabbed Patrick’s shoulder from behind. “Your girlfriend did this?!”

“
Ex.
Becca isn’t my girlfriend anymore.” Patrick said gruffly.

“And you were worried about me hurting Liz? And it was
your
girlfriend.” Joey threw back at him.

“
EX.
” Patrick angrily turned to face Joey. “What are you deaf?”

“Excuse me.” Joey was sarcastic. “Ex-girlfriend.” He rolled his eyes. “You sure
she
knows that?”

“Come on Joey, lay off.” Jason interrupted.

“What? You guys…” Joey seemed ready to take them on.

I didn’t want to listen to anyone fighting. I had enough of that today. “Guys… please. It’s not Patrick’s fault.” I was tired of having everyone look at me with pity in their eyes. I started to get up off the ground. My legs were unsteady and my sense of balance was so off that Patrick had to grab me to keep me from falling. “I’ll be okay. I just need some…” I really appreciated them being there, but I didn’t want to hurt their feelings by asking them to back off.

Patrick picked up on my hint, “Air. Breathing room would be nice.”

Bobby nodded, “Guys, let’s give her some space.” The girls and Jason turned to walk away, but Joey stood still. “You too, Joey.”

“Liz?” Joey looked at me intently, like he wanted me to tell Bobby that he could stay.

“It’s okay, Joey. Thanks, really. But I’ll be alright. You can go. I’ll be fine with Patrick.” I was thankful that he wanted to help, but there was nothing he could do. And I didn’t feel like I could talk to him, the way I can with Patrick.

Joey wasn’t happy to leave. “Only because
you
said so. Let me know if you need anything.
Anything
.”

I nodded. “Okay, thanks.”

Joey left. Bobby, Emily, Jason and Cassie walked away and sat at a bench to wait. They were about a building away. With Patrick’s help, I weakly walked over to the closest bench. I took another sip of water. Patrick wouldn’t take his eyes off me and watched my every move.

“Thanks for having them back off. I couldn’t stand them looking at me like that.” I stared at them from a distance.

“No problem. I figured.” He paused and put his hand on my leg. “I’m sorry that Becca…”

“Stop. Like I said, it’s not your fault. You’re not responsible for what Becca does.” I scolded him. I didn’t want to hear it. “She knew what she was doing.”

He looked down for a second. “What happened?”

I shook my head. “You don’t want to know.”

“Yes, I do.” He insisted.

“You’re not going to like it.” I looked at him in the eyes, “You need to promise me that you’re not going to blame yourself.”