Falling for June: A Novel (27 page)

It was late by the time we returned to Echo Glen. If there were stars out, I didn’t see them. My mind and my eyes were on getting Mr. Hadley from the car safely into the house.

I offered to go in and get the wheelchair but he insisted on walking himself. I helped him as much as he’d allow. Estrella went ahead of us and opened the door. He was groggy from whatever the hospital had given him, so I walked him down the hall toward what I assumed must be his bedroom. It was the only room left in the house I hadn’t been in yet, and as soon as I opened the door I realized the pains he’d taken to conceal just how sick he really was.

There was an oxygen machine on a cart next to the bed. An IV with a bag of saline and coils of tubes stood next to it. The dresser top was littered with pill bottles. It almost looked like
a hospital room right there tucked away in the back of that old farmhouse. His pride was either greater than I had thought or he just preferred to keep the evidence of his deteriorating condition contained within his bedroom.

I helped him lie down, taking off his shoes and covering him with an afghan.

“Can I get you anything?” I asked.

“Not unless you’ve got a time machine hidden in your pocket,” he said. He looked very tired. “You’ve done enough, Elliot. Thank you. And please tell Estrella I really enjoyed meeting her today. She’s a keeper, that one is.”

He smiled and closed his eyes.

“She’s a great girl, that’s for sure. I’ll tell her. Do you need some tea or water or anything like that?”

He didn’t answer because he was already asleep. I tucked the blanket around him and crept out into the hall, closing the door behind me. Estrella and I sat around the kitchen table, wondering what to do now. It was pretty late. Past ten for sure.

“I’m gonna stay,” I finally said. “You take my car since you have class tomorrow.”

“Where will you sleep?” Estrella asked.

“On the couch. That way I can keep the stove going and check on him every once in a while. That nurse gave me enough pamphlets to keep me in reading material for a week.”

“I don’t know,” she said. “I don’t like the idea of leaving you out here all alone without a car.”

“I’ve got my phone. I can call a cab when I’m ready to head home. I’ll probably stay a day or two at least.”

Estrella glanced at her watch. “Okay, but I’m coming back tomorrow. I’ll see if my mother can follow me out for a ride home in case you’re not ready to leave. She’ll insist on bringing you some home-cooked food anyway. You’ll see what I mean when you meet her.”

It was clear she didn’t want to leave, but it was getting late and she hadn’t exactly signed up for today’s misadventures when I’d invited her out to meet Mr. Hadley.

I walked her out to the car and we hugged by the door. For a moment I thought she might kiss me, or maybe I thought I might try to kiss her. I wanted to, sure, but it didn’t happen and that was okay. It had been a long and emotional day and it didn’t feel right to make this that kind of good-bye. But the hug felt really nice anyway.

She got in and spent a few minutes monkeying with the mirrors and adjusting the seat to fit her height.

“The brakes can be touchy so don’t slam them. And look out for deer. They like to jump in front of your car for fun out in these parts. You know what, I never even asked if you knew how to drive.”

“Of course I do,” she said, smirking at me. Then she pretended to search beneath the dash. “Where’s the thing to shift the gears?”

“It’s an automatic,” I said, playing along.

“Uh-oh. I only know how to drive rigs with a dog leg and a clutch. What’s a poor country girl to do?”

“Get out of here,” I said, closing the car door.

She rolled down the window, leaning her head out. “Call me if you need anything, okay? Even just to talk.”

“Sure thing, counselor. But no talking or texting while you drive. Now get on, I’m freezing out here.”

She smiled and pulled away. I stood and watched the taillights disappear down the driveway. It’s a strange feeling to watch your own car drive off. Like your life is going on without you. Which is kind of how I felt anyway with Estrella gone.

35

T
HE SOUND OF
blaring music jolted me awake. I got up off the couch and walked down the hall and opened Mr. Hadley’s door to find him sitting on his bed singing along to “Dancing Queen.” His shirt was off and a tube was running from the IV pump into a port in his chest. He froze when he saw me. Then he reached to the bedside table and switched the music off.

“Good morning,” he said. “I’m either really high right now and am imagining you or this is really embarrassing.”

I hooked a thumb over my shoulder to indicate the living room. “I slept on the couch.”

“What about Estrella?”

“She drove herself home in my car.”

He nodded. Then he glanced at the old tape player on his bedside table. “I guess all we’re missing is Sebastian with his bullhorn and we could go out and jump burning cars today. June loved Abba. I’m more of a rock-and-roll man myself.”

“You seem to be feeling better this morning.”

He looked down at the port in his chest. “This port was for chemo,” he said. “It’s funny to think that I made it through the sixties without touching anything stronger than pot, and now here I am hooked up to an IV drip of Dilaudid with metha
done mixed in for good measure. Some breakfast, eh? Oh well, it makes watching
Good Morning America
interesting at least.”

After he got dressed and after I had eaten a bowl of stale cereal from his pantry, we spent the morning watching TV and laughing together at all the stupid things that seem to be so important to everyone else in the world. Mr. Hadley was really funny when he was loopy. He had a take on everything . . .

“You know, these elections are sheer lunacy. It’s like a bunch of turkeys lining up to vote for Thanksgiving . . .

“If I were rich, Elliot, I’d leave a scholarship fund to buy every one of these kids a belt . . .

“This Viagra in these commercials has to be one of the worst things to ever happen to women . . .”

It really was a riot, until his meds began to wear off. I could tell it was happening because his energy seemed to wane, and his gaze would drift from the TV to the floor. The look on his face hinted that he was fighting off pain. He was coughing a lot too. It became clear to me just how hard it must have been for him to spend all those hours telling me his and June’s story. And now I knew what all those pills he was popping were for.

He hadn’t eaten yet that I had seen, so I made him some tea and melted butter in it when he wasn’t looking. Why not? The pamphlet said that high-fat foods were a good way to get needed calories quickly, and it all ends up in the same place anyway, right?

I called my office and let them know I’d be out all week and asked to have my cases reassigned. They weren’t happy about it, but I would have been hard-pressed to care any less. It wasn’t like the clients would miss me—whether it was I or some other suited swindler knocking on their door to hustle them out of their houses, what was the difference? I just didn’t much feel like going on any foreclosure sits right now.

Mr. Hadley napped, waking late afternoon in much better spirits. He took some pain medication and managed to eat an apple with a glass of Ensure mixed up from an awful-smelling powder. Then he put his coat on and headed for the door.

“Whoa, where are you going?” I asked, looking up from the pamphlet I was reading. It’s funny how protective you can feel of someone once you’ve watched them sleeping.

“I’m going to see June, of course.”

He said it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world to do, and I guess after all he had been through while still managing his daily visits, it was.

“Hold on,” I said. “I’ll come up with you.”

We didn’t talk much, enjoying the sounds of the creek and the forest instead. It wasn’t raining, but it had gotten suddenly cold and there was a definite bite in the air.

“Is Estrella coming back with your car?” he asked when we were about halfway up the trail. “If not, I’ll spring for a taxi to take you home.”

“She’s bringing the car back tonight,” I said.

“Oh good. She’s a sweet girl. And smart one too. I really think June would have liked both of you.”

“Her mother’s coming to drive her back home since I’m staying here with you.”

He stopped on the path, eyeing me. I turned to face him.

“What?” I asked.

“You’ve done too much already, Elliot. Much too much. I’m very grateful, but you have a life to get back to.”

“I’m staying,” I said, “and that’s all there is to it.”

He leaned on his cane and eyed me. “Do I have to force you to leave?”

I smiled. “You already know I’m not above breaking in through a window.”

“I could call the police.”

“Don’t forget that I’m the executor of your estate with a power of attorney. I’ll have you declared incompetent.”

He laughed. “It wouldn’t take much to prove that.”

Then he continued walking on up the path. I followed.

“If you really plan to stay,” he said as we walked, “I insist that you let me make you up a bed in June’s studio. I have an air mattress I used to sleep on in there. It’s quite comfortable.”

“I can agree to that.”

“There’s more. I insist on buying groceries, now that I no longer have a mortgage payment to make. A growing young man like you can’t live on frozen dinners and MoonPies alone.”

“I can agree to that also.”

“And you’ll have to put up with being woken by Abba. Occasionally a little Lynyrd Skynyrd too.”

“Wow,” I said, “Lynyrd Skynyrd, look at you.”

“And you’ll need to promise not to try and talk me out of what I plan to do. That’s most important of all.”

“I don’t know if I can promise that, Mr. Hadley.”

“You have to, Elliot. I’m not ready yet, but there will come a time soon when I am. I don’t want it to be a fight. I know you think I’m doing this because I was being foreclosed on, but you’re wrong. I held off writing that letter as long as I could.”

I took in a deep breath of cold fall air, mulling over his request. I didn’t want to make a promise that I couldn’t keep, but I didn’t want to upset him either. It wasn’t my right to tell him how to live or how to end his own life.

“I’d be honored to stay with you through the process,” I said. “Whatever that looks like. No argument, just love and support. That’s what someone should do for his best friend.”

He kept on walking and never took his eyes off the path, but I could tell that he was smiling.

Mr. Hadley was asleep in his bed when Estrella and her mother arrived. It was getting dark and the resemblance between them was so striking that when I opened the door and saw her mother standing there with an armload of casserole dishes, I mistook her for her daughter and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek.

“It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Ackerman,” I said, realizing my mistake as soon as I saw Estrella behind her removing a duffel bag from the trunk of my car.

“Oh!” she said, looking surprised by my kiss. “It’s nice to meet you too, Elliot. Estrella says very nice things and I know they’re true because we raised her to never lie. I whipped you up some of Estrella’s favorite dishes.”

I took the casseroles from her and stepped aside to invite her in. Estrella followed, lugging the duffel. I went to kiss her on the cheek but she turned her head and our lips brushed each other. It was a little awkward but kind of nice too.

She held up the duffel. “I figured a day or two might turn into more, so I brought you some stuff to wear from my dad’s closet. It’s all brand-new. Mostly Christmas gifts from me he refuses to wear. He swears Dockers are high fashion. I brought you a toothbrush and stuff too. Don’t worry, it’s not my dad’s.”

We all sat around the kitchen table and ate dinner together. I got the feeling they had already eaten but wanted to be polite. One of the dishes contained a pizza-pie casserole, and I could see why it was Estrella’s favorite. I liked her mother. Not only did they look alike, but they acted a lot alike too.

After dinner we all had tea.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay out here by yourself?” Mrs. Ackerman asked as I walked them to the door.

“I’m not by myself,” I said, smiling. “But yes, I’ll be fine, thank you. And thank you for the food too.”

She hugged me. It’s hard to explain how exactly, but it was a mother’s hug and it felt good.

“Those dishes are refillable,” she said. “You just call when they’re empty and we’ll bring more.”

Once her mother was outside on the porch, Estrella pulled me to the side. She wrapped her arms around my waist and looked up at me. She was smiling, but it was a sad kind of smile.

“He’s lucky to have you to keep him company,” she said. “I have to work tomorrow night but I can get Tom to cover me on Wednesday. I’ll borrow my mother’s car and come and hang out with you two. Maybe I’ll bring along some games for us all to play.”

“As long as you don’t bring Scrabble,” I said.

Then she bit her lower lip like she does, and I knew that she wanted me to kiss her. Which was more than fine with me because I’d been thinking about it since we hugged good-bye the night before. I leaned in and brought my lips to hers. We were kissing when her mother pushed the door open.

“Estrella, I almost forgot—”

“Mom! A little privacy, please.”

Her mother blushed, quickly handing me a book before stepping back outside and pulling the door closed.

“Sorry,” Estrella said. “How embarrassing.”

“Not for me,” I replied, leaning in and kissing her again.

She tasted like spearmint and honey. Maybe because of the tea she’d had after dinner. I’m sure I tasted like pizza pie, so I guess I’m lucky it’s her favorite.

I saw them off from the porch, waving good-bye as they pulled away. When they were gone, I stood there for a minute longer just looking out over the barn and the field and the tree where I knew Rosie was buried. I had almost forgotten the book in my hand. I was worried it might be a downer about grieving but it wasn’t. I could just read the title in the twilight, and when I did it made me smile—
Peter Pan and Wendy
.