Falling for Seven (19 page)

BOOM!

BOOM!

BOOM!

Fireworks were exploding everywhere. I had given into my weakness of Julian and now the show was really starting. Only the picture wasn’t so clear in the harsh daylight, and I was glad of it. Glad the distortion of my mental breakdown was foggy in my mind. I was too embarrassed to re-live it. I had inhaled enough vodka that my dreams were all black, but now I was conscious, patches of the night before working to stick themselves together again. It was not a night I wanted to go back to. And on top of that, I did not want to be awake this morning.

My mouth felt like it had been wiped down with sandpaper and my head hurt to touch. I cracked open one eye—squinting at that—and the first thing I noticed apart from it being far too bright, was that I wasn’t in my own room. The hardwood floor had a pile of dirty laundry overflowing from a hamper next to a desk with a TV on it and a stack of sports magazines. There were trophies lining the shelves, but the walls were mostly bare, apart from one oversized Sports Illustrated calendar.

I eased myself up into a sitting position, wary of my throbbing head. It was then I saw that I wasn’t wearing my own clothes. I stretched out the too-big football jersey I was wearing. Julian’s number was printed on the front. Idly, I brought the silken fabric up to my nose and inhaled the burst of fresh cotton and crisp cologne. Julian’s scent was stagnant, one hit and my pulse was sending my insides into overdrive. My heart couldn’t keep up. It was almost enough to make me forget my hangover. Or cure it. But it wasn’t enough to forget Jordan.

I was startled from my smelling-fest when the door opened and the man himself came in with a glass of orange. I took it with greedy fingers and I could have thanked God when Julian passed me two Tylenol. Two wouldn’t be enough, I needed a bottle.

“It’s all kind of fuzzy at the moment, but I’m sorry for you having to bring me here. I know it can’t have been good, the second pulse in my head can attest to that.”

I met Julian’s gaze head on. I could see his mind ticking over, his blue eyes sharp and contemplative. He didn’t want to fight and neither did I. I was sick of the fighting, it was making our contaminated relationship even more poisonous.

His legs were spread wide and he leaned forward on his elbows, dropping his head to drag his hands through his new short hair. Now I was sober, it was like seeing him for the first time.

“I can’t explain my relationship with Kit to you,” he said, looking at the floor. “We fuck, yeah. It’s been that way for nearly two years and I’d be lying if I told you that I didn’t have some feelings for her.”

“You don’t need to do this.”

I can’t handle it…

“I want you to understand. There are reasons we’re close and it’s not my place to tell you them, but she’s not my girl and she knows that. You made me feel like the biggest shit on the planet last night, and I’ve sat all night looking at the four walls in the living room thinking you’re right. I did sleep with Kit after I kissed you.”

I’d known that already, but to hear it out loud was a whole other wound to heal. But it didn’t need to be. I could stop this now. Stop using Julian to make myself feel better. Stop covering up what I was really feeling with a temporary fix that had the potential to make my brittle heart even weaker. Because when it came down to it, I was starting to like Julian. And not the way I should.

It was a recipe for disaster.

“I know you wish you could take back what happened in the locker room, but it was let Kit have it or I was coming after you, Angel.” He looked up with the shadow of a smile. “It’s habit for me to get what I want, and Kit filled that position. She always does. I don’t think any less of her for it, and I shouldn’t have kissed you. You’re hung up on Jordan, I get it. But you make it so fucking hard for me when I see other people all over you. It pisses me off. Especially those fucking scumbags off the team. They’ve had their dick in every hole at BU.”

“You’re making me sound like a whore,” I said, scowling.

“That’s the last thing I think you are. But you’re too innocent and those guys know that, so they’re taking advantage. Don’t play along with them, you’ll never win. Everything’s a joke in their world, but trust me, you won’t be laughing.”

“Are you warning me away from hanging out with them?”

“No, you can do what you want. Just try not to make me have to fucking kill them. I was playing with you at first, but I like hanging with you. I’d even go as far as calling you a friend and actually meaning it. So fuck it, yeah, I’m protective of shit that’s mine.”

“I’m not yours.”

“You know what I mean.”

I clutched a hand to the heartbeat in my head. I was too wary for all this friend transition crap. It hurt like hell. But he was my friend, too. His loyalty ran deeper than his looks, that was one thing I was certain about.

I glanced down at my shaking hands, weak from all the alcohol. It couldn’t come quick enough till it was flushed out of my system.

“Do you mind if I lie down?” I asked. If I sat up any longer I was going to be sick. I hadn’t even bothered my ass to go and buy a dress for my pop’s dinner tonight, so that was an unwanted chore that I was going to have to endure later with a raging hangover.

Julian nodded, then took my empty glass from the night stand.

“These sheets are okay, right?” I really would be sick if they had remnants of him and Kit’s exploits embedded on there.

“You’re the only other person to get in there, so unless you mind that I’ve slept in them, then yeah, they’re okay.”

<>

I put on the sunglasses that Julian gave me and flipped down the visor. No sun was acceptable today or my sensitive eyes threatened to set on fire. I was acting as Dracula’s badly dressed cousin and I didn’t care what anybody thought about that. Julian had dried my clothes for me, but the jersey stayed on. I’d tied it in a knot just below my bellybutton and pulled my ponytail through the back of his ball cap.

Julian slipped me a sideways glance.

“What?” I said, looking at the duller version of him through my blackened lenses.

“I could get used to you wearing my number.”

“Good,” I said. “Because I am keeping this.”

He shifted the gear stick and we hit the highway in his Range Rover, speeding up. I turned in my seat to offer Taj a drink of my diet coke. It was a cure from the Gods when you had ingested too much flame-retardant liquid. I waved the bottle in front of his face, and he grabbed at it. He finished it off and had the nerve to hand me back the empty bottle.

Thanks,
I signed, sarcastically. He grinned at me and then put all his attention back into his PSP.

I arched my back, lifting my butt off the seat when my phone vibrated in the back pocket of my sweats. It was Jordan, and I took a humble, triumphant step when I deleted his message without even reading it. Julian gave me a fleeting glace, sensing the dip in my emotion and I put my phone away, offering up a smile. I craved to see Jordan, I’d be lying if I said I never. At first, all roads in my life led to him. It was intense and blinding. I couldn’t see past him, he was an obstruction. Allowing Julian to get too close had brought me out at a fork in the road. But Julian would never happen. He was perfectly honest and upfront about his attitude to women and relationships so that solved that. And I could barely get over my addiction long enough to give Julian much more thought. There wasn’t enough space for two guys. Jordan took my whole heart and energy. What could I say? I was a glutton for punishment.

But like any addict, I would kick this one day at a time. And today, I started with a simple text message. Ice-skating and school would keep me going.

“Was that Jordan?”

There was no reason to lie. “Yes.”

“You delete that?”

“Do you think I did?”

Arrogant-ass looked like he was having fun. He levelled me with a look out the corner of his eye. “I know you did. You’re swimming in regret. Need me to pull you out? There’s rope in the trunk.” He laughed when I scowled. “Own it, would you? You can’t ignore him and then spend the rest of today wishing you never. If you’re gonna do that, you might as well call him now. Get it over with.”

“I’m not doing that,” I said, defending myself. “I ignored him and I’m fine with it. I’m
owning
it.”

“Sure you are. Why don’t you both agree to see each other and other people? This is the twenty-first century. Everyone’s doing it,” he said smiling. Taking the piss as usual.

I couldn’t share. No. Not willingly… not indefinitely.

The thought brought back something Dan mentioned last night bobbing to the surface. “Dan said that you had shared before. He was talking about women, wasn’t he?”

Even if Julian didn’t, I heard my own stupid naivety from asking the world’s dumbest question.

Julian spun the wheel with one hand to take the corner and shifted gears. “One girl. One time.”

“Kit?”

He flashed me a quick glance. “Katlyn.”

Okay, wasn’t expecting that. “Really? What about Nicky?”

Julian grunted with laughter. “They act like a couple, but he fucks around and so does she. She wants it to be all about him and her. He wants his freedom. They’re both as bad as each other. They’ll probably be pulling this shit for the rest of their lives.”

I was stunned. Was there anyone Julian hadn’t slept with? If I had the actual figure I think my mind would malfunction from an overload of digits.

“I would never share you. Don’t get any ideas.”

“I’m not yours to share.”

Julian was focused on the road in front of him but I saw the smirk slip onto his lips. Cocky bastard. On anyone else that kind of arrogance would irritate me, but on him it only made his confidence that much more attractive.

“Where am I going?” he asked, leaping into a swift change of subject.

“My dad’s new
girlfriend
,” the last word rolled off my tongue loosely, “owns a store on Everlade Drive. I’ll run in there real quick. You and Taj can just wait in the car.”

“And miss you parading around in ball gowns?” Julian shook his head, grinning wickedly. “Not a chance.”

<>

As luck would have it, Elena was in the store. She looked up from behind the counter where she was arranging a plump bouquet of lilies. She was wearing a neck of pearls with matching bracelet and a light-gray shift dress. Her blonde hair was out, curling just below her shoulders in a fresh blow-dry.

She smiled when she saw me and came to give me kiss on each cheek before shaking Julian’s hand. She gave Taj a small hand wave when he gave up no such pleasantries.

“This is Julian,” I said. “We’re working on a paper together, and this is his brother, Taj.”

“He’s deaf,” said Julian. “He’s not ignoring you.”

I looked at him. Couldn’t he have done that for Kit?

“Oh.” Elena rearranged her face into some semblance of a smile. “My cousin Carrick is deaf. Do you mind me asking if he was born this way?”

“Otitis Media,” said Julian, but he shifted on the spot in discomfort as he said it, making me look at him twice.

“Ugh,” Elena scoffed. “Poor soul. How old was he?”

“Almost two.”

“And how old is he now?”

“Ten.”

“And strapping, just like you.” I inwardly cringed. “Okay, sit down.” Elena ushered Julian and Taj into two matching armchairs fit for royalty, positioned in front of a floor length, shabby-chic gold mirror. The whole shop was minimalistic in shades of white and cream, with a touch of flamboyance thrown in to remind you every single piece of clothing would cost you an arm and a leg.

Would you like a drink?
Elena signed to Taj. Her surprise diversity made me like her a whole lot more even when I might not have wanted to.

You have mountain Dew?

You got it.

“Lauren?” Elena called out. A young girl came out from the office behind the desk. It must be a human reflex, because her eyes automatically latched onto Julian. “Would you mind running out to the store and grabbing me some bottles of Mountain Dew, oh and some pastries and cupcakes from
Délicieux
?”

“Of course,” Lauren agreed, and then stole one last glance at Julian before heading out.

“I would have told him to ask for something else if you didn’t have it,” Julian said to Elena in a flattened tone that was undecipherable.

She waved her hand at him dismissively. “Nonsense. You are my customers and Angel’s friends. Can I get you anything?” She looked at me and Julian.

I shook my head ‘no’ and Julian said, “No, thank you.”

“Okay, champagne it is,” she said with a broad smile.

Lauren came back with Taj’s Mountain Dew and two boxes full of French pâtisseries. Taj dug straight into a cupcake iced with a mountain of cream frosting and Elena served up champagne on a silver tray before she flipped the sign on the door to ‘Closed’.