Authors: T.A. Richards Neville
“ARE YOU SUPRISED TO SEE ME?”
Surprised?
Was I surprised?
Was that a joke?
She studied me with a childlike innocence, her mouth fluttering in and out of a smile. That was my mom. I loved the crap out of her, but nothing was ever wrong in her world. And between the huge gestures and complete unreliability, I didn’t have the faintest idea what was going through her head most of the time. But out of her and my dad, she was the lesser of two evils.
“How’d you get here?” I asked. “Where have you been?”
She rose from the chair. She was wearing black jeans tighter than mine and a black cardigan over a white tank top. She looked healthy. Not at all like she’d spent the past eighteen months spaced out on drugs. “I flew, obviously.”
“How’d you afford a ticket?”
“I have money. Not a lot, but I have some.”
“You quit your job, left home…”
“I used everything I had to come here. Please don’t say you are angry with me, baby.
Te extrañé mucho
.”
I’d believed that sincerity in her voice countless times before, and I loved her too much not to believe her this time. “I missed you, too.”
She opened her arms and I hugged her to me, the smell of her floral perfume sending me back home. “
Perdóname.
I don’t deserve to be called your mother, but I’m going to put it all right. I’m going to be the best mom. I won’t ever leave you again, Angel.”
“I’d really like it if you didn’t,” I said. “Because I love it when you are here.”
“I promise, baby. Me and you from now on.
Hasta el final.”
“Until the end,” I said.
“I’ll believe it when I see it.” I stepped back from my mom, having not heard my dad come in. He stood there with a glass of bourbon in one hand and an ugly scowl on his face. “Why are you here, Selene? Have you nowhere else to go? Was your daughter your final and last worn-out option? That’s if you remember you have a child at all.”
“Dad, stop it.”
“Stop What? The truth? Don’t even ask me if she can stay here.” He took a drink of the copper liquid, the ice clinking against the glass. “I don’t want her in this house. She is here five minutes and she still hasn’t revealed where she’s been hiding this entire time. Come on, Selene, we’re all dying to find out. But make sure you speak up, it’ll be hard for Angel to hear you, she’s got you so high up on a fucking pedestal.”
“Let’s go,” I said, taking my mom’s hand. My car’s outside.”
“My car, actually,” my dad corrected me, then slugged more liquor. “When you wake up and she’s gone again, don’t come back here. Don’t you dare come back! You’re setting yourself up for a huge fucking fall!”
“
Usted es un hombre feo, Michael
!
”
My mom spat as she picked up her purse on our way out. The rain was heavier and we ducked against the storm, my mom running to the passenger side of the car. I turned the engine over and took the exit that lead to Pamela’s house.
“Do you have a place to stay?” I asked my mom, keeping my eyes on the road. Struggling to see past the wipers that were doing an awful job at keeping my windows clear. Rain streaked the glass like a shallow river, distorting the dreary road ahead.
“No. I never thought that far ahead. I could stay with you?”
“I live in a dorm with two other girls. That wouldn’t work.”
“I can find a hotel.”
“You said you used up your money.”
She looked at me, her brown eyes taking nothing serious in of the world. “I did.”
“Pamela will let you stay with her.”
“Pamela, your dad’s ex-wife, Pamela?”
“You like her.”
“I don’t know her.”
“You know her enough that she will put you up without any questions. God knows her house is big enough. And she has Mar’s old room now because she shares a dorm with me.”
“But won’t she mind?”
“No, Mom. She won’t mind at all.”
<>
“Are you crazy? The woman takes drugs.”
“No she doesn’t. Not anymore. And could you keep it down? That’s my mom in there you are insulting at the top of your voice.”
Pamela rolled her eyes and tipped a bag of salad into a bowl. “How long is she staying?”
“Here? Not long. She’ll get a job and she can stay at a hotel till she finds a place.” Still not impressed or convinced, Pamela tossed the salad and poured on a vinaigrette, tossing the leaves again. “Just think how much my dad is going to hate it.”
Her face of stone cracked, and she looked up at me through her eyelash extensions. A smile bit into one side of her face and she said, “Well when you put it like that… you make it hard for a woman to say no. But make sure to tell him she’s here. No,” Pamela changed her mind. “I’ll tell him.”
“Thanks, Pam. You’re the best step-mom ever.”
“Angel, I don’t like to be called mom, never mind stepmom. Now, I’m going to drink wine with Selene and you are going to stay in here and grill the salmon. You owe me, and I’m hungry.”
When dinner was over, I helped Marilyn clear away the dishes and then we sat in the living room with both our moms and one of Pamela’s Percy Sledge CD’S turned up too high.
“Did you hear something?” I turned the dial on the stereo when I thought I heard banging.
Bang! Bang!
“It’s the door,” I said. “I’ll get it.”
I walked quickly to keep whoever was outside from waiting. Mario stood with a case of wine in his hand. “Marilyn asked me to drop this by.”
“She made you bring her alcohol?” I asked, steping aside to let him in.
“She asked. I delivered.” He took off his sneakers by the door and followed me into the living room, brushing his hand across his dripping black hair.
“Mar, I think he belongs to you,” I said, flopping back onto the carpet by the fire.
She uncurled herself from the chaise lounge and took the box from his hand, leaving a kiss on his lips, his hand dropping to her waist before she moved to take the wine into the kitchen.
“Hi, I’m Mario.” He stood in the middle of the floor, looking at my mom.
She smiled, visibly impressed with Marilyn’s choice of boyfriend. “
Mario, ¿hablas español?
”
Sitting on the carpet beside me, Mario took off his wet hockey jacket, lying it next to him to dry from the fire. “
Mi padre
nació
en Matamoros.
”
“
¿sí?
¿Has estado antes?
”
“
No. Nunca.
”
“Well if that isn’t the sexiest conversation I ever heard, and I haven’t got a single clue what either of you just said.” Pamela held out her glass when Marilyn came back with the wine and filled it up.
“You can all speak English now I’m in the room. I do not want Mario declaring he slept with hundreds of latin beauties while I sit by and smile and nod my head like some stupid idiot.” Marilyn filled my mom’s glass next, made me fill my own, and then she took a drink straight from the bottle before topping up her own.
“I was telling her where my dad is from,” Mario said to Marilyn, declining her offer of wine or beer. “I’m driving.”
“Oh, shit. Me too.” I was on my third glass of wine. Strong wine at that. And I had classes in the morning, plus my morning slot on the ice.
“Mario will take us back to the dorms, won’t you, babe?”
“Sure. Just say when you want to leave.”
“So you two are dating?” My mom motioned back and forth between Mario and Marilyn. Her cheeks were pink from the wine and her hair had curled up from the heat in the house.
Marilyn watched Mario, waiting on his answer “Yes,” he said. He looked over at Marilyn. “Exclusively dating.” She covered her smile with her glass and took a drink, dropping her gaze from all the attention.
“What about you, Angel? No boyfriend?”
I shook my head. “No boyfriend.”
“No boyfriend apart from a tall, tanned, muscled football player. Right, Angel?” Marilyn smirked at me, lighting fuel to the fire.
“I’m listening now,” Pamela piped up. She looked a little too relaxed from the wine, reclined on the coach with her feet up. “That’s an interesting description.”
“Julian isn’t my boyfriend.”
“But you like him?” My mom asked.
“No.” I didn’t like him. Not anymore. And I didn’t want to talk about him, not with my mom and risk her seeing through my façade and deep into my soul. She might have been in another state for the past year, but her and I, we were the same. She saw things in me no one else could. I was sorry for what Julian and I had done, but I’d enjoyed every part of it and my body was responding from erotic nostalgia. “Mar, we should go. I have to be at the ice rink for six, before my first class.”
“You’re still skating?” My mom asked. “I’m so pleased to hear that.”
“You raised a talented thing here, Selene. All beauty, brains and sporty. Are you sure you didn’t create her on your own?” Pamela cackled, her wine sloshing over the rim of her glass and onto her trousers.
Marilyn took the glass from her. “Sit up before this drink is all over the floor.”
My mom walked us to the door and I hung back to say goodbye. “I can’t believe you’re here,” I said. “Do you want to go for dinner tomorrow? It’s on me.”
“Baby, I can’t let you do that.”
“Okay, a picnic then. You make it. Use Pamela’s food.”
“A picnic it is.” She smiled and squeezed me against her chest.
“Goodnight, mom. I’m so happy you’re back. I won’t be able to sleep tonight. I told dad you wouldn’t stay away.”
“Michael has good reason to be angry with me. I’d be angry with me. But don’t you be angry with him. He is your father and no matter what happens, he still loves you. He’s only doing what he thinks he has to.”
“You’re here now. He doesn’t matter. I’ll come by tomorrow. Is four okay? I have to be at work at five-thirty.”
“Well look at my baby with a job. We’ve got so much to talk about—catch up on. Four is great. I’ll be waiting by the clock all day.”
On the way up to our dorm, Marilyn took my hand in hers. I stopped to face her, the rest of the hallway quiet. “Are you okay with this?”
“With what?”
“Your mom turning up? You look okay, but it’s a really huge thing after she’s been gone so long.”
“I’m glad she’s back.” It was the easiest part of the answer I could give.
Marilyn considered this, her lips tight. Then she smiled. “So long as you’re okay,” she said. “If that was my mom, I’d be flipping out. Maybe I’d get to happy once I slapped sense into her for leaving in the first place.”
I sighed, pressing my back against the door to our dorm room. “I had considered that. When I first saw her, I kinda wanted to kill her.”
“Amen to that.”
“But what would that do? I wanted her back, she’s here. The rest is History. I’m sick of being angry and let down. I’m taking control now and not my mom or Jordan are going to ruin that.”
“You missed out your dad.”
And Julian.
I turned down the door handle and stepped into the dark. “I am so over him I forgot his name,” I whispered so I wouldn’t wake Mia.
THE HOSPITAL WERE allowing Kristina home today, and I sat in the Range Rover outside my house waiting for her dad’s car to turn the corner. She should be out by now, but it was already pushing ten minutes to six, and I had to be at the stadium at seven to watch some game tape ahead of Friday night. We were facing off against Clemson and they weren’t going to hand any points to us, that was for sure. I gave her another fifteen minutes and then left.
The minute I saw how pissed Coach was, I stupidly thought of Angel and her fucking virginity. I waited for him to approach me, but it never happened.
“Halle-fucking-lujah,” said Nicky, throwing his street clothes into his locker. “O’Hara’s got his time of the month again. How we supposed to win any games while his head’s in his fucking ass?”
“What’s up this time?” I straightened out a kink in my neck after sitting too long in the dark watching the Clemson Tigers mow the turf with Georgia Tech.
“You fucked his daughter. That’s what’s up.”
We hit the field, and even an hour of plays couldn’t keep Kristina and Angel out of my head. My helmet crushing my skull wouldn’t be enough of a release. Coach locked himself in his office after practice and pulled down the blind. “Players?” Nicky asked, bending to pick up his bag.
I dialed Kristina’s cell, getting no answer. It wasn’t even no answer; I’d been forwarded to voicemail. “Yeah,” I said. “I need a drink.”
I parked outside of Nicky’s with the intentions of crashing there tonight, and we walked to the bar with Drift and Dan. Rixton was the only one with enough brains to put his school papers first. As soon as I saw Angel in that skimpy skirt and tight polo, I ditched the guys and followed her into the staff corridor. I turned the knob on the utility closet, part surprised when it opened. I didn’t waste time on that and I grabbed Angel’s arm when she spun around, and pulled her into the closet with me. The door closed and we were in solid darkness. A yellow light fizzled above our heads, and I moved to the side when I saw the bare bulb was about a centimeter from mine.
Angel stared at me, her expression blank of… anything.
“I never used to care if I pissed you off. Now, I can’t stand it. The way you are looking at me… I’d rather you were mad. But this, this nothing. I fucking hate it. Talk to me, Angel.”
Her features stayed voided and flat. “I made a pact with myself that you and anyone else would never affect me again. This is me not letting you affect me.”
Fed up of sidestepping what I wanted and what was mine, I bridged the gap and grabbed a fist full of her hair, pressed against her to the silent count of ten. When she still hadn’t broken free, I leaned over her and smothered her lips with mine. There was a beat of hesitation before her mouth opened and she let me in. She could say whatever the fuck she liked, but she wanted me as much as I wanted her. And I wanted her like I wanted life. I wanted this girl bad. Really fucking bad.
Her hand flattened on my chest and her mouth disappeared from mine. “
Eres el diablo,
” she said, her voice a strained breath. “
Jodeme.”
“Ah, that is so fucking hot. What did you say?”
She smiled, her fingers gliding up the side of my head, raking through my hair. “You are the Devil.”
“Yeah, I got that part.”
“And then I asked you to fuck me.”
Two translations was more than enough.
I reached around her and flipped the lock on the door, moving Angel so her back was against the shelves. I pushed her skirt up around her waist and pulled down her thong while she lowered the front of my sweats and freed my fully-fledged hard-on. I froze with Angel in my arms, my dick brushing that spot between her legs, and banged my fist against the shelf behind Angel’s head.
“Fuck. I’ve got no protection.” She looked up at me, her breath sounding louder than it should. I knew she wasn’t on the pill. She’d never had sex until two days ago. If we did this, it would go down top of my list of dumbest shit I’ve ever done.
“I can’t fuck you with no condom.” Disappointment pooled in her eyes, like she was taking this as another rejection. If she kept looking at like that, I’d have to reconsider my safe-sex policies. I could lift her onto my dick now, pull out before it was too late. But Angel wasn’t worth risking. What Kristina had just gone through wasn’t worth risking. That wouldn’t be me. That wouldn’t be Angel.
“Actually, I’m glad,” she said, rearranging her skirt back into place. “It’s best nothing else happens here until I tell Kit.”
“Tell kit what?” I tucked away my hard-on. It was already going soft from Angel’s declaration of the worst idea I had ever heard.
“I can’t sleep with you behind her back. I know you said you told her what’s up, but she’s my friend.”
“She’s not your friend.”
“How do you know what she is?”
“I just don’t think she’s a friend to you.”
“Whatever, I’d still feel better telling her. If she was screwing Jordan behind my back, I’d want to know.”
“You’d care?”
That shit bothered me.
“It would kill me,” she said sincerely. “Even if they were open and honest about it, it would still hurt. But sneaking around? No, I couldn’t stand that. So I won’t to do it to her.”
I narrowed my eyes, the light in here hardly anything more than a haze. “And what is it you think you are doing to her?”
I was helping Angel forget lesser people, and I wasn’t above enjoying it while I did it. But did she know that? Girls always seemed to get confused in that area.
“Settle your beating heart, Julian. I know what this is. Sex.”
I nodded my head. “Okay.”
Angel retied her apron and brushed the dust from her shirt. I spun her around to wipe down the back, just my hands on her wakening up my dick. I settled my hands on her waist, pulling her towards me so her back was on my stomach. “I wasn’t ashamed to take your virginity, Angel. Or embarrassed, or any of that shit.”
“You weren’t?”
“No. You caught me off guard. I felt like a fucking asshole for taking something I didn’t know you were giving me. That’s it, pure and simple.” My hands slid round to her stomach, her own hands covering mine. “I’m glad it was me. I want to layout anyone that even fantasizes about putting their hands on you.”
I felt her smile under me, her fingers stroking my arm. “But this is just sex. We can do what we want.”
“I pride myself on only sleeping with one girl at a time.”
Angel laughed, breaking my hold on her and turned to face me. “Is that so?”
“New rule.”
“What, so no sharing this time?”
Sharing? Was she out of her fucking mind?
“Definitely no sharing.”
She turned serious, giving me a fixed look. “What about what I want?”
It was a challenge not to smirk. “Okay, Angel. What do you want?”
“The truth. All the time.”
“The truth?”
“Yeah. No messing around. We’re not together, so it shouldn’t be too hard. If I’m going to stand still with you, I want to feel good doing it. No drama from here on out—no arguments. That’s for couples and we’re taking time out from all that shit. Together. I get headaches from Jordan, I don’t need them from you. Otherwise, what’s the point?”
“No headaches,” I said. “I can do that.”
“I have to get back to work,” she said, flipping the lock on the door.
“Come to Nicky’s after.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea. Kit—”
“Won’t be there,” I concluded for her. “Stay an hour. I won’t drink, I’ll drive you home. I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol.”
And I no longer needed to. But getting Angel back into bed? Yes, I needed that.
She sighed, opening the door to fresh light. “I’m finished at ten-thirty.”
<>
I was sitting sober at nine-fifteen, our small crowd gradually growing to the largest one in the bar. Angel was kept busy all night, but not by us seeing as though she was still refusing to serve us and I’d succeeded in getting everyone to stop fucking asking. Kit and Katlyn walked in just after ten, and I groaned in my seat. When they headed for our booth, I stood and left to stand at the other table where Dan was. Nicky was a magnet for Katlyn and I wasn’t getting caught in the gravitation.
It was nearly eleven by the time Angel approached me, with a reluctance that gave away all that she was thinking. I knew what was going to come out of her mouth before she said it. “You’re not coming.”
Her mouth turned down in an apologetic smile. “No tonight.”
I took her aside, away from the group. “Because kit’s here? I thought we said no drama? I didn’t invite her.”
“We did say that, so don’t make a big thing of this. Nothing is going to happen while Kit is in the same house, and I’ve got studying I need to cram in while I’ve got some free time.”
“Okay. So, another night.” I wasn’t happy, but it meant I could go home and check on Kristina. “Can I kiss you at least?”
“Right here, right now?” I wanted to laugh at how scared she looked.
“Yes, here.”
“No. You can’t.”
“Outside then?” I wasn’t leaving with nothing.
She licked her lips, looking away as a blush crested her cheeks. She was too fucking cute, making me ask for things like a goddamn kiss. As if I was twelve again.
She met me with a look and then walked away. I gave her a few seconds before I followed her outside. She turned into an alley and I checked over my shoulder for the all clear before going in after her. Her purse dropped to the floor and her arms looped around my neck as my mouth crashed onto hers. She had the sexiest, softest lips, and I knew she could feel my arousal, I had it pressed so far up against her. “You down for studying tomorrow?” I asked, tearing my lips from hers.
Her eyelids fluttered open and she planted one last kiss on my mouth. “Studying sounds good. Real or metaphorical?”
“Both,” I said, grinning. “I haven’t written a single real thing for this assignment, and I’ve got papers due in two other classes. I’d rather study with you than alone.”
“Okay. Just call me.”
It was a fucking bitch, watching her leave. “You bet.” Before she could get too far, I asked. “You need a ride?”
She never turned back. “Nope. I like to walk.”