Falling for the Groomsman (10 page)

“Younger.” She reared her head back and blinked up at him, her mouth open. “But w-why would you care about that stuff? We haven’t exactly kept in touch over the years.”

“It’s what I should have done, and if I had a chance to do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing except instead of running…I’d have stood firm. I wouldn’t have given up so easily.” He met her eyes. “Maybe we would have even been together.”

“I don’t believe you.” She pressed her lips together and shook her head for good measure. “If you regretted it every day, why didn’t you come see me one of the many times you came back to the U.S.? Try to win me over? I mean, I really haven’t seen you at all.”

“I did, once. When I came home a year after Mexico, I passed by a restaurant, and you were inside. I saw you and some brown-haired guy sitting close and talking and laughing, so I backed off. He had his arm around you, and you were resting your head on his shoulder. You looked so…so happy.” He met her eyes, unable to believe he was admitting this shit to her. “I couldn’t bring myself to walk through that door when you were happy and with someone else. What happened to that guy?”

She bit down hard on her lip, not dropping his gaze. She didn’t show much emotion, or at least not that he could read, but she dropped her lids. “Did he have tattoos all down his arms?”

“Yes.” Tyler hugged her tighter to his chest as he stepped over a log. “Who was he?”

She opened her mouth, closed it, and let out a little sound that might have been a moan. “My brother I was just talking about. He was in the military, and he’d gotten in some trouble back home. He’d just signed up with the marines, and we were saying good-bye before he went to boot camp.”

Relief hit him hard and fast. “Oh.” He stepped over a fallen branch. “Shit.”

“Yeah.” She rested her head on his shoulder again. “But, you know, I haven’t been a nun all these years. I have been with other men.”

He stiffened, the relief going away in a blink of the eye. “I’d rather not think about that.”

“That came out wrong. I’m trying to say is that I wasn’t a broken shell of a woman who couldn’t live without you because you left or anything. I was fine. Happy, even.”

His arms tightened on her reflexively. “Don’t say another word, Red.”

She looked up at him, her brow furrowed. “I’m trying to make you feel better.”

He frowned down at her, jealousy ripping through him with sharp claws. “The idea of you with another man will never,
ever
make me feel better. You were supposed to be mine.”

Chapter Eleven

Christine rested her head on Tyler’s shoulder, not sure what to say to that. But really, what was there to say? He didn’t like the idea of her with another man? Well, great. She didn’t like the thought of him with another woman, but it didn’t
mean
anything. He was just stating the obvious.

There couldn’t be anything real between them.

Not now. Not then.

Tyler made his way around a fallen tree that blocked the path they’d been following. She glanced up at him and flinched. Sweat streamed down his forehead and down his cheeks, and his face was red. He hadn’t complained one little bit about carrying her. Knowing him, he saw it as some form of penance for leaving her all those years ago.

He was sick like that.

She understood him so much better now than she had all those years ago. He carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, and he felt responsible for everything and everyone. He felt the need to make everyone happy and healthy and whole. When he failed or caused harm…he swallowed the guilt and kept it inside him forever.

He grunted and stepped over a small boulder. The shadows were getting deeper by the second, and try as she might she couldn’t make out even a hint of the resort. He’d told her they wandered too far away, but she’d ignored him as she sought some solitude for her outdoor sex session. Stupid list.

Now they were stuck out in the woods with no rescue in sight. More than likely, they would be setting camp for the night and sleeping in the
great
outdoors. Already, the mosquitoes had bitten every exposed strip of skin she had, and the temperature had dropped rapidly. There wasn’t a snowball’s chance in hell she’d make it through the night. Her idea of camping was the Holiday Inn Express, complete with feather pillows and a soft mattress.

Not sleeping bags and rocks poking her in the butt.

As if on cue, Tyler stopped walking and leaned against a tree. “I think we might need to stop for the night. I’m having difficulty seeing. I could wear a flashlight, but it’s still asking for trouble. If I step in a hole and twist my ankle while carrying you, we’ll be sitting ducks.”

“That makes sense, I guess.” She wiggled in his arms. “Are we even heading in the right direction?”

“I think so. We’re following the incline.”

She nodded. “You should check your compass, just to be safe.”

“I can’t.” He flushed. “I don’t have one.”

“Seriously? I thought you had a survival kit in that thing.”

“I do.” He lowered her to her feet. “But I lost my compass.”

She put the bulk of her weight on her good leg and leaned against a tree. There was a good-sized flat clearing in front of them, which is probably why he’d chosen here to stop. “So you have condoms, but no compass? What else do you have in your bag?”

“A lighter, a sleeping bag, water, and a few protein bars.” Her stomach growled at the mention of food, loud enough for the whole forest to hear it. “Which I’m guessing you’d like me to find,” he added subtly.

She dropped her head back against the tree. She couldn’t even muster up the strength to get embarrassed at her bearlike growling stomach. “Yes, please.”

He chuckled and picked her up again. “Let’s go.”

“Wait, what are you doing?” She clung to him. “I thought we were staying here.”

“We are.” He skirted a huge boulder. “But over there, where it’s flat.”

“I could walk there myself,” she said.

“I know, Patient McClumsy. But I’m going to carry you anyway.”

Of course he would, because that’s the kind of guy he was. Compassionate, bossy, stubborn, and irresistible. Once he reached the clearing, he stopped in the middle of it and set her down. She missed his warmth as soon as he let go of her. It might be June, but it was still Colorado. She wrapped her arms around herself and shivered. “Thank you.”

He bent down and yanked the sleeping bag out of his backpack, spread it out on the ground, and dug out a handful of protein bars. “Get in this and eat these. It’ll keep you warm while I set up camp.”

She nodded, but looked off into the distance, keeping her weight on her uninjured ankle. “Uh…I have to go…you know…I have to
go
.”

He looked up at her, his brow furrowed. “Go where?”

“Oh my God. Shoot me now,” she said, fisting her hands.

“I’m trying to—o
h
.” His eyes lit up with comprehension. He dug around in the bag a little bit, and handed her a roll of toilet paper. “Here.”

She eyed his bag hopefully. “You got a toilet and a shower in there, too, Eagle Scout?”

He laughed. “I wish. It’s not so bad, I promise.”

“Maybe not for you,” she pointed out. “At least you get to
stand
. I have to squat with my bare butt hanging out like a white flag for all the forest creatures.”

“At least it’s a hot ass.” He stood up and pointed over his shoulder. “I’ll go this way. You go that way. Don’t wander off, though.”

“I don’t plan on it.”

She bit down on her lip and limped toward the trees, her eyes on the darkness surrounding her on all sides. Was something out there, watching her even now? Plotting how best to attack, while she was at her weakest? She was obviously the easy prey. She’d be the first to go. Tyler would wrestle a bear with his bare hands.

“I’m a dumbass.” He caught her by surprise, sweeping her into his arms again. “You can’t walk there on your own. Let me help you.”

She should probably protest and assert her independence…but she didn’t feel like it. It was freaking
scary
out here in the dark. Maybe in the morning she’d be all independent and fiery again. “If you think I’m letting you watch me pee, you’re mistaken. I’m not that kind of girl,” she said, her hands on his chest.

His laughter rumbled under her palms. “I have no intention of watching you pee, but it’s good to know you don’t have any weird fetishes. I’ll drop you off and come back once we’re both done. Just stay here and wait for me.”

“Okay.”

He set her down and headed back the way he came. She glowered at the forest floor before forcing herself to take care of business. Once she finished, she moved as far away as her gimpy leg would let her and braced herself against a tree. This was
so
not how she’d envisioned this week going, thank you very much.

She was supposed to have fun and let loose with some men she’d never see again. Cross items off her list, and move on to the next one when she was finished. The thought of moving on from Tyler didn’t fill her with joy as it previously did, though.

Instead, it felt…wrong. Just wrong.

What if screwing him didn’t get him out of her system? What if it only let him worm in even deeper, and he never let go? What if she was never free? Even now, as she panicked over how strong of a hold he had over her…she wanted more. Wanted
him
.

He was like a drug, and she needed another hit.

She leaned against a tree and waited for him to come back. She felt ridiculous standing in the middle of the woods hugging a roll of toilet paper to her chest. And oh so vulnerable, too. What if a bear came at her? How would she protect herself? Throw a roll of toilet paper at it? Yeah. Because
that
would help.

The mental image of her pelting a bear in the nose with a roll of Charmin made her snort. A twig snapped behind her, and she jumped. She licked her lips. “Tyler?” she croaked, half expecting a gigantic beast to come out from the darkness instead of the man who plagued her thoughts nonstop. “Is that you?”

“Yeah.” He appeared from the shadows, and she wanted to fling herself at him and thank him for being there. But she didn’t. She’d already crossed too many lines. She wouldn’t cross another. She couldn’t allow any more contact that wasn’t strictly sexual. It wasn’t on her list. “Hold out your hands for me.”

“Um…okay.”

She adjusted the toilet paper and held her hands out. He squirted hand sanitizer on her hands and did the same to his. As they cleaned up, she watched
him
watch
her
. “How’s your back feeling?” he asked.

“A lot better than my ankle and my pride.” She rubbed her hands together some more, even though the sanitizer was dry. “Thanks for taking care of me.”

“It’s ingrained in me.” He lifted a shoulder. “Scrapes like that should be cleaned out right away to stave off infection. You can never be too safe.”

“Well, you did your doctoral duty.” She swiped a stray hair out of her face. “I haven’t succumbed to malaria or typhoid or hay fever yet.”

He laughed, his eyes lighting up. He needed to do that more often. What would he be like it he didn’t carry the weight of the world on his shoulders? She kind of wanted to find out. “Hay fever? Seriously?”

“Sure. Why not?” She rubbed her hands together, trying to warm them up and failing. “God. It’s not supposed to be this cold in June, is it?”

“At night? Yeah.” He tucked the sanitizer into his pocket, grabbed her hands, and blew his hot breath on them. His lips touched her wrist, placing a fleeting kiss over her pulse, and he looked up at her. “Better?”

“Y-Yes,” she said, her voice wobbling. She was scorching hot now, thanks to him. “What do we now?”

He didn’t drop her hands, but kept them pressed in between his. “Now
you
need to eat while I set a fire to keep you warm. Then you sleep.”

“And you?”

He lifted a shoulder. “I’m not worried about me.”

Typical. “I am.”

“Well, don’t be,” he said, bending down and sweeping her into his arms. “I’m not the injured one.”

“I’m not so sure about that.” She looked up into his bright-green eyes, wishing she could see the man behind the actions. He shouldn’t be so hard to read. “I think your injuries are just hidden better than mine.”

Where the heck had that come from? Since when did she care?

He averted his eyes and stared straight forward. His jaw worked, and his fingers flexed on her. “What makes you think I have injuries? I don’t.”

“We all do. It’s just a matter of what kind, and how deep they cut.”

He stared out into the woods, not moving a muscle. “Are you going all investigative journalist on me? Trying to figure me out?”

She fell silent, not sure if she should continue in this getting-to-know-you type of vein. It would only make walking away from him harder in the end. But there was
so
much she wanted to know about him. So much she needed to figure out still. Maybe, for one night, she could forget about everything else and just…be with him.

When he lowered her onto the sleeping bag, she slid inside it and met his eyes. “Maybe. I won’t lie, I want to know more about what makes you tick.”

“I don’t know why. I’m pretty simple to figure out.” He squatted at her feet, his eyes on her. “But go ahead. Ask me something if you want. I’ll answer.”

She swallowed hard, but didn’t drop her gaze. “What’s new with your life? Anything exciting going on?”

“That’s all you’ve got?” He blinked at her, the mockery clear in his voice. “I thought for sure you’d ask me something about my dark and stormy past to prove that your theory that I’m broken is correct.”

She shook her head. “I think we talked about the past enough, don’t you?”

“I suppose we have.” He cleared his throat. “I got a job in Portland. Now that I’ve been offered the position as chief, I’ll stay there for, well, maybe forever…if I can stand the domesticity of living in the good ol’ USA. I’ll still go overseas every once in a while, but I’ll be here more than there, if that makes sense.”

She pictured her favorite show,
Grey’s Anatomy
. If she were completely honest with herself, she’d admit she watched it because it reminded her of Tyler. But she didn’t like being honest with herself when it came to Tyler. It was too
real
. “Wow, that’s great. You must work crazy hours, huh? Like Dr. McDreamy and Meredith Grey, on
Grey’s
?”

“Yeah, it’s even worse than you see on TV.” His fingers flexed on his knees. “But we don’t have sex in the on-call rooms. We just snore, drool, and sleep.”

She bit down on her lip. Without even trying, she could totally picture him stripping some hot nurse’s scrubs off, and she kind of wanted to stab her eyes out. “My hours aren’t quite so hectic as all that.”

He averted his eyes. “Do you…date much?”

“Not really.” More like,
hardly ever
. None of the men she met interested her. Not like him. She bit her tongue. “Just here and there. Like I said, not much going on in the love department for me.”

He flexed his jaw. “I’m not going to lie. I like that answer, for selfish reasons. I don’t like sharing what’s mine.”

“I’m not
yours
.” She laughed. “I haven’t seen you in years.”

“I know that all too well.” He glanced down at the forest floor, his shoulders tense. “I hear you have a new roommate now that Kady’s with Colt?”

“Yeah. She’s awful.” She hesitated. “I don’t know why I followed Kady out here in the first place, besides out of habit, but it’s time to live alone. To have my own place. I already told my roommate I was leaving once I get back.”

She declined to mention the fact that she was moving to Maine, but it didn’t matter anyway. It didn’t change a thing between them at all.

“Is this the first time you’ll be alone?”

“Yeah.” She glanced away, her cheeks heating. “At first I didn’t want to live by myself because it made me miss my parents too much. I got used to having Kady around, so we moved in together out of college, too. But now…”

“She’s getting married.”

“Yeah.” She lifted a hand and let it fall back to her lap. “And I’m stuck with the roommate from hell. She hasn’t paid her portion of the electric bill in three months. And she took my favorite nail polish, and denied it.”

He leaned closer and closed his fingers over hers, squeezing. “She sounds like pure evil.”

“She really is,” she said, laughing. “It’s time for me to go it alone, for once. I didn’t think I would be, but I’m excited.”