Authors: Sadie Grubor
"How
can you even ask me that?" I sobbed.
"Okay
everyone, calm the hell down," Kat broke in. "This is Mia's decision,
not ours. We need to support her, not scream at her." Kat shifted her eyes
to Serena who was still steaming mad.
"No,
I think it's his decision too." Serena snapped her eyes to me and raised a
brow. I wanted to rip out the damn eyebrow piercing.
"You
wouldn't?"
"Mia,
you can't honestly think the best option is to kill an innocent child,"
Serena pleaded.
"Alright,
enough!" We turned our stunned faces to Una. She took a deep breath. "I
just made a call to the doctor and he'll be here in about thirty minutes."
She turned to look at me. "How do you know for sure?"
I
pointed at Serena.
"The
pregnancy test Nazi made me take a test this afternoon because I threw up!"
Una
rubbed her forehead with her hand.
"You
did this in public? What if someone would've seen all of this happen?" Una
sunk down to the bed. "You guys have to think more about being in public.
The paparazzi could get a hold of this story and run wild with it." She
sighed.
Kat
assured her she collected the tests and only gave the clerk a hundred dollars
without explaining why. Una looked slightly relieved, but started to make more
phone calls. A half hour later the doctor arrived and did some basic tests on
me while everyone waited outside of my room.
"Well,
the urine test is a positive, but it will take a couple of days to get the
blood test results. We also have to get you into a doctor's office for more
blood work, a checkup, and some other things if the blood test confirms the
urine sample. I'll get it all scheduled for you and keep it a private matter."
He smiled at me and headed out of the room.
Serena
was the first one to enter the room. "Mia –"
"You
know what Serena I need my big sister right now, not a pro-life advocate!"
I spat and lay back down on the bed. My door shut.
"I'm
sorry Mia. I really am I just hate the thought of –"
"I
know," I sighed. "I'm sorry if it bothers you, but I have to make the
best decision for me." I heard her open her mouth to speak again. "I
haven't made up my mind Serena. I'm just considering all options." We sat
in silence for a long time before Una came back into the room.
"Mia
the doctor has scheduled your appointment with me and I'm going to move the
meeting with Christopher and Nicholas to another day, okay?" I could only
nod.
The
mention of Christopher made me feel nauseated. I decided not to leave the hotel
room until it was absolutely necessary.
*
* * * *
Sitting
in the hotel living room, Nicholas mentioned my meeting with Mia today would be
rescheduled because of an appointment. I tried not to look disappointed about
not getting to be with her.
Seeing
Mia at each concert, I could see a drastic change in her attitude and
physically. She just wasn't the same. Her body looked thinner, her skin a sickly
pale white, and her eyes were plagued with deep purple bags. I’d heard rumors
of her being sick again, but my pride didn’t allow me to inquire any further.
Once
Nicholas left, Jackson followed me into my bedroom slamming his door shut.
"What
the fuck Jackson?"
"You
fucking liar," he yelled.
"What
the fuck are you talking about? I didn't lie about anything!" Fighting
between confusion and anger, I tried to stay calm.
"Bullshit,"
he yelled. "You said you weren't sleeping with her." He raised one
eyebrow cockily.
I
sighed and sat down on the bed.
"I
guess you heard from Laney."
"No,
not exactly."
I looked
up at him, confused.
"I
overheard a conversation when I was in their room."
"Oh,"
I sighed again and ran my hand through my hair.
"That's
all you can say?" He stood in front of me, arms over his chest.
"What
do you want me to say? That it was just the one time,
Dad
?"
"Just
one time?"
"Yes,
asshole," my words soaked in more sarcasm.
"Whatever.
I can't believe you want her to have an abortion. That's just so pathetic
Christopher, even for you. You're such a fucking cliché."
Jackson’s
words tore through me.
"Abortion?"
I coughed.
"You
didn't know?" he whispered realization.
"How
do you know, are you sure?"
It
all sank in. Her looking sick, the rumors of being sick, her appointment.
"Shit!"
he slapped myself in the head.
"Jackson?"
"Christopher…I
thought you knew and you wanted….Fuck!" He rubbed my hands over my face.
"This
is your last chance Jackson!" I threatened.
"I
told you. I overheard part of a conversation when we were in Vegas." He
took a deep breath. "Maybe it's not yours." His voice trailed into a
whisper with the last two words.
Pain
and then anger took turns biting at me.
"What
did you hear? Are you sure that she is…and she's going to…Wait! You waited till
now, and you found out in Vegas?" I searched his face and saw pain.
He
explained to me all he heard almost a week ago and then told of his suspicions
about her appointment today.
"Today?"
I grabbed a sweatshirt and slipped on my shoes.
"What
are you doing?" He yelled as I ran out of the room.
"I
have to stop her!"
Out
of the suite, I ran for girl’s suite.
Was
it true? Mia was pregnant and she was going abort my child, our child. I had to
get to her. I had to tell her…
Reaching
her door, I beat on it furiously. About to knock again, the door swung open and
Laney's confused and nervous face greeted me.
"Where
is Mia?" I asked breathlessly and pushed by her. I went to her room to
find her. It was empty.
"She's
not here," I turned to look at her and her eyes were sad. "She had an
appointment."
"Where
is she Laney? I need to find her." I was practically begging for
information.
"Christopher…."
She sighed and took a breath. "She went to an appointment. She'll be back
later this after –"
"No,
Laney. Where is she now? What's the appointment?" Grabbing onto her
shoulders, my fingers dug a little too deep.
"It's
a doctor appointment," she choked.
"Let
go of her Christopher," Jackson yelled and approached from the door.
Releasing Laney I started pacing and running both hands though my hair.
"What
doctor Laney?" she bit her lip and furrowed her brow, clearly hesitant to
answer me. "Damn It Laney! Tell me! I need to stop her!"
Laney's
eyes widen.
"You
know?" she said in a whisper.
When
she wouldn't respond I pulled out my phone and called Una.
"Christopher?
What –"
"Where's
Mia?"
"She's
at an appointment. We'll be back –"
"Una,
let me talk to her, please!" I begged and headed downstairs to get a car.
"I'm
sorry Christopher. We'll talk when we get back." She hung up.
The
bitch hung up on me!
"Fuck!"
I screamed aloud in the elevator, scaring a small elderly couple. "Sorry,"
I mumbled to them before running off the elevator towards the front doors.
There
was a yellow car sitting right out front. Climbing in, my phone pinged. It was
a text message from an unknown number.
'I'm
the only ally you have right now. 1505 Westlake Avenue – Dr. Lin. Hurry!'
Throwing
two hundred dollars at the driver, I gave him the address and told him to get
me there in five minutes. He saw the money and floored the gas pedal.
Rushing
into the medical building, the main lobby filled with large bellies or tiny
babies. I stood shocked for a moment before I remembered why I was here. One
deep breath and I rushed to the large window. Behind the Plexiglas sat a plump
brunette in blue scrubs.
"Hello,
I'm looking for someone." I tapped the window impatiently.
She
turned to me with an annoyed expression.
"I'm
sorry sir you'll need to wait out here." She spoke nervously and took in
my disheveled and distraught appearance.
"You
don't understand I need to get back there –"
"Is
your wife back here?"
"No,
not exactly…but I'm the….the…" I swallowed hard.
"The
father?" she raised her eyebrows.
I
nodded. That would take some getting used to.
"Are
you expected?" I hesitated too long in my response. She took that moment
to realize I wasn't. "Give me the name and I will check with them."
"M….actually,
I would rather write it, just to keep it private," she looked at me like I
was insane. I wrote it on a piece of paper ripped off the sign in sheet and
slid it over to her.
"I
don't have anyone by this name here sir, you must be mistaken," she pushed
the paper back to me.
Pressing
my head against the glass window roughly, it caused her to jump. I was so
frustrated I could've smashed the window and climbed across the desk to look
for her myself. Then a door to my right opened and a nurse appeared asking for
a Mrs. Haney. While she was looking around the room, I took the chance and ran
by her, down the hallways.
"Sir,
you can't be back here! Sir!" Nurses were yelling at me.
I
kept moving and looked at the charts on the wall. Passing all the doors, I hadn't
found her name. Sliding down a wall, I sat on the floor with my head in my
hands. They lied to me. I groaned loudly.
"Sir,
you need to leave now." A large red haired nurse stood above me with a
stern look on her face.
"I
just need to find her. I need to tell her…that I….that….she can't do this."
A tear escape from the corner of my eye. "Please…I need to find Mia Ryd –"
"Shh,
sir we don't have anyone here by that name," she sighed. She put a hand
out to me and helped me up. Then she leaned in close to me. "There is no
one here by that name," she said loudly. "But Amy White is there."
She
walked away.
It
took me four long strides to reach the door she showed me. I knocked, but got
nothing. Opening the door, there was no one there, but clothes and bags on a
chair. Turning around I looked back out the hallway. Then muffled arguing
filled the space around me.
"Serena,
stop it! Please!"
It
was Mia. Rushing toward her voice, I busted through a gray door with a small
window.
"I
don't want to hear it. Serena!"
Storming
into the room, a foreign sound filled the room.
"Whoosh,
whoosh whoosh, whoosh."
"Sir.
You can't be in here."
Is
that all anyone in this place says?
"Is
that –?"
"Christopher?"
Panic and fear filled her voice. It was too dark to see the expression on her
face, but I was sure it wasn't a pleasant one. She scrambled up from the table
and the sound disappeared. I rushed to her side.
"You
shouldn't be here."
*
* * * *
"I'm
sorry Christopher. We'll talk when we get back." She hung up. I exhaled
the breath I'd been holding.
"You
should tell him and see how he feels about this." Serena chimed in.
"Jesus,
will you just shut up for a little bit. I'm not making any final decision in
this car and I'm not telling Christopher." Serena finally went silent for
a few moments, distracted by her cell phone. I pondered if he somehow found
out.
Arriving
to the medical building, we entered a rear entrance. Shown into a room quickly,
the nurse sat down a chart with my 'cover' name Amy White. The nurse went
through a multitude of questions and basic stats—blood pressure, weight, etc.
Doctor
Lin arrived and conducted the pap smear, a belly check, and then informed me he
wanted to get an ultrasound before I left so we could determine how far along I
was and check on the heartbeat, etcetera.
"I
don't want to see or hear anything."
"Mia,
how can you –?"
My
glare shut her up. The doctor cleared his throat.
"That
can be arranged," he left the room and soon after a nurse arrived.
Escorted
to another room, a nurse helped me onto a padded table. The nurse moved the
pillow to the opposite end so I wasn't able to see the monitor screen and told
me the technician would mute the sound.
When
the technician came in, she darkened the room, and started to perform the
procedure. First, a cold gel was squeezed onto my abdomen and then a wand like
device was placed against my skin. I reminded her I didn't want to hear any
sounds. She nodded in understanding.