Authors: Sadie Grubor
"I'm
hurt, Ryder, seriously hurt." He feigned insult and winked.
We
arrived to my door first. Jackson and Christopher were sharing a room further
down.
"Um…well,
thanks for an enlightening night." He said and smiled. "But I still
cannot support your music choice."
"Yeah
you to," I poked him in the arm. It got a little uncomfortable for a
second and I hoped he didn't think I wanted more than friendship.
"Well,
good night." He finally said and he leaned over me.
I
froze.
How was I going to handle this? I was going to ruin a friendship that
just started.
He
hugged me. I relaxed and said a small goodbye before entering the room.
Entering
the living room of the suite, Laney caught my attention. She was sitting on the
couch watching TV.
"Hey
you," I smiled.
She
turned her head and immediately I saw something was wrong.
"What's
wrong?" I sat down next to her.
"It's
uh...nothing really." She shrugged lightly.
It
was something. Laney didn't stammer unless it was something. I gave her a look
letting her know I wasn't buying her lies.
"Okay…now
don't get mad, okay?"
I
nodded.
"Are
you and Jackson, um…you know?" She looked up at me through her lashes and
bit her bottom lip.
"What?
No." I shook my head. "Laney, what would make you think that?"
She
shrugged. "Well, you guys seem to have gotten close and I guess I didn't
realize you were such good friends."
"Lane,
it's not like that. We're just friends." I wrapped her in a hug. "Okay?"
She
nodded and smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes.
"What?"
I questioned. "Don't you believe me?"
"Oh
no, I believe you, but I think he has a thing you." She looked really torn
up.
I
didn't know what to say. I didn't think he did, but I couldn't speak for him
either. Reassuring her became difficult.
"I
highly doubt that. Trust me." I hugged her again. "Come on let's get
some sleep." She nodded before heading to her room, but her smile still
wasn't genuine.
Feeling
like shit, I climbed into my bed. My conversation with Laney was still plaguing
my conscience. I buried my head in my pillows just as he knocked at the door. I
got up from my bed to answer the door.
When
I opened, the door there was something off, something wrong. Christopher's face
looked irritated, maybe even pissed off. I motioned him in and he hesitated
like he was going to say something, but instead he stalked into my bedroom.
He
was just sitting at the foot of the bed when I entered. His shoes and zip up
hoodie were still on. Walking by him the sound of his voice made me jump.
"Where
were
you
at?"
"What?"
I completely turned myself to look at him.
"You
heard me," he shrugged.
"Where
was I?" I didn't know what the hell to say to him. I was still feeling
crappy because of how Laney felt and now he was asking me about something that
really wasn't any of his business to begin with. Anger rose from within me.
"Never
mind," he spit. "Clearly you're going to avoid the question, just
like everything else."
The
anger rolled through my body as soon as he finished speaking.
"Excuse
me?" My hands went to my hips. "Are you seriously going to question
me where I was, like I have to answer to you? And then you have the nerve to
talk about me avoiding things? Oh. My. God. What about you?" Throwing my hands
in the air, I stormed into the bathroom.
"Well
then just answer me." He growled, following me.
I
stomped back toward him stopping about three feet in front of him. His eyes
were piercing mine and the urge to hit someone had never been so strong before.
My hands balled into fists at my sides. He invoked such anger and I hated him
for affecting me so much.
"You
know where I was." I shouted. "I was downstairs with everyone else,
hypocrite!"
"I'm
a hypocrite?" he yelled back.
"Oh,
indeed you are!" I spat and shoved his chest.
"Fuck
you," he shouted.
"No,
Christopher, Fuck you!" I marched to my bedroom door and swung it open. "Get
out!"
"What?"
He choked on his words. His anger morphed into anxiety, but he'd pushed me to
the point where I no longer cared.
"You
heard me, get the fuck out! I'm so tired of this bullshit!" I took a deep
breath and continued. "You treat me like shit from the moment you meet me,
for the past couple of months you are the biggest asshole on the earth, and
then I end up being used like a security blanket for
your
issues!"
Anger
hardened his face. His piercing blue eyes darkened and narrowed in on me. There
was a twinge of fear swallowed by my anger.
"You
avoid me like the plague unless you want to criticize or be a jerk, but you
expect my door and my bed to be open to you. Well guess what, Christopher, this
sick arrangement is over! Get. Out."
"Fine,"
he ground out through his clenched teeth.
"Fine!"
My words met his back as he stormed out.
When
the room door shut, I collapsed to my knees and buried my head in my hands. The
hot angry tears dampened my skin. Pulling my palms from my face, I used the
back of my hand to wipe off my face.
"Mia,"
I looked up to see Laney. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah,
Lane," I croaked out. "It's fine. I've just…I've had enough." Defeat
and exhaustion were prevalent in my voice.
She
nodded and wrapped me in a hug. Burying my face in her shoulder, I released one
last frustrated sob.
"Falling
stars aren't always meant to be caught you know?"
Sniffing,
I wiped my nose with the back of my hand, and looked up from her shoulder.
"What
are you talking about?"
She
shrugged and tilted her head a little.
"You
know falling stars?"
"I
know what a falling star is, yes. But I don't understand why you are talking
about them." She had completely confused me now. Had she lost her mind
since I spoke to her?
"Well,
a falling star can also be called a shooting star. Regardless, I've always
thought they were beautiful to watch at night and maybe one day I would catch
one." She smiled at me with a gleam in her eye.
I
wrinkled my brow in confusion. "I don't –"
"A
falling star is actually on fire as it enters the atmosphere, so I if I were to
try and catch one I'm pretty sure there would be some pain involved. Though, I
would suppose some pain would be worth it to find something so rare."
"What
the fuck are you talking about?" She was adding to my frustration. I didn't
have time for her riddle.
"Mia,
you're trying to catch a falling star."
My
mouth opened, but I couldn't even think of what to say. I stared at Laney's
face for I don't know how long. We eventually moved from the floor to my bed,
though I'm not sure how or when.
That
night I slept with Laney in my bed, instead of Christopher. It was odd and it
irritated the hell out of me to admit it, but I missed his presence.
*
* * * *
Watching
her and my brother all night was disgusting. She was throwing herself at him
every chance she got. Sitting next to him at the restaurant, grabbing a
convenient seat on his lap in the car, grinding against him at the club, and
then watching them down at the bar was nauseating. My stomach was in knots and
there was the urge to tear them away from one another. They were putting a
desperate display forth.
So
I called her out after watching them say 'good night' to each other and what
does she do. She kicked me out. She fucking kicked me out! God I hate that
bitch! She called me a fucking hypocrite! Screw her! Slamming the hotel room
door, Jackson's head jerked up.
"Hey
man, you okay?" Confusion in his voice.
"Yep.
Why wouldn't I be?" I spit out with sarcasm.
Idiot!
"You
don't seem okay and –"
"And
what Jackson?" I crossed my arms over my chest.
He
rubbed the back of his neck.
"Well…um…you
usually don't sleep here," he shrugged. His words sounded more like a
question than a statement.
"Don't
worry her bed is open if you want to join her." I stalked off to my room.
Could
he be more obvious? Christ it's disgusting.
"What
the," He caught up to me and stopped my door before it shut in his face. "What
the hell are you talking about?"
My
door swung back to the open position.
"Nothing,"
My words were mumbled.
Stripping
down to my boxers, I went to the bathroom. Splashing water on my face, I pulled
out the pill bottle. I took two pills and threw them in my mouth. Returning
from the bathroom, Jackson was waiting for me.
"What
do you want?" I grumbled.
"I
want to know what the fuck your problem is," he shook his head. "Seriously,
Christopher, what the hell is all this really about?"
"Nothing,"
I rolled my eyes. "Now if you don't mind I have some meds that will be
putting me into a comatose state in about twenty minutes." Waving him off,
I just wanted him to leave.
"Whatever
Christopher, whatever," Jackson walked out slamming my door behind him.
Lying
down, I covered my face with a pillow and screamed. Then I waited for the pills
to take me under, hoping I would make it through the night.
"Nnnooooo!!"
I shot up screaming.
Jackson
beat his record and was in my room in less than Three0 seconds. Panting with my
head in my hands, the tears mixed with my sweaty palms.
"Christopher?"
Jackson's voice came from across the room.
"I'm
fine." My tone clipped due to my inability to ease the tension in my jaw.
"Another
nightmare?" I nodded. "Do you need anything? Do you want me to get –?"
"No!"
I shouted but then had to swallow the sobs lodged in my throat.
"Christopher,
just let me go get –"
"Damn
it Jackson, No!" I threw my fists down onto the bed.
"Christopher,
what happened?" He moved closer to me.
"Nothing,"
I groaned in annoyance. "She's just had enough of my psychotic behavior."
I threw myself back onto my pillows.
The
bed dipped where Jackson had taken a seat.
"Are
you ready to talk yet?"
"About
what?" I growled.
"Any
of it, all of it, hell you know." His voice got lower.
"She
kicked me out tonight," I mumbled into my pillow.
"Why?
What did you do?"
"Me?
It was her. She's a bitch."
"Are
you serious?" The disbelief in Jackson's voice was evident.
"Yes!"
I spit out.
"Holy
shit," he exclaimed.
Leaning
up on my elbows, I looked at him.
"You
are unbelievable! She puts up with your shit. I mean your asshole attitude, by
the way. Then sticks around to comfort you when you need it, but she's a bitch?
You're unreal man."
"Look
I'm not trying to put your girlfriend down or anything –" His hysterical
laughter cut me off. "What?"
If
this asshole was laughing at me, I was going to tackle his seven-foot ass.
"What
are you laughing at?" Sitting up further, I was leaning on my palms.
"Oh
my god!" he laughed out. "You think Mia and me…" he continued to
laugh at me. Once he caught his breath, he continued. "Fuck me, you're
jealous! Aren't you?"
"Of
what?" I spit.
"You
are so pissed at the possibility of her and me that you fucking caused all of
this, didn't you?" he started laughing again.
"What?
No." I lie back down in bed. "You're crazy. Get the hell out!"
Why the hell would I be jealous?
"Oh
god this is too funny!" Jackson stood and started walking out of the room
laughing. He got to the door and then leaned back in. "By the way,
Christopher, you are so off base. Mia and I are just friends." Then he
smirked and walked out. I heard him laughing all the way to his room.
"Fuck
you, Jackson." I shouted and reached for the TV remote.
Flipping
on the TV knowing I would never be able to get back to sleep, I found Nick at
Night. It was a familiar channel from my late nights, but I couldn't
concentrate. Jackson's words wouldn't leave my mind: "you're jealous",
"you are so off base", "just friends".
I
was not jealous. I could care less if she was with someone. It was about her
throwing herself at him. It was disgusting. I'd almost convinced myself when my
mind started to wander.