Authors: Sadie Grubor
Maggie
started to fuss. Looking around the room, Laney, Nicholas, Gwen, John, Linda,
Amy and Ryan stood in the living room smiling at us. I smiled brightly back.
Maggie's
fussing became worse, so Christopher sat her on the table. I took her from the
carrier and cradled her. Placing her against my chest, I rubbed her back.
Christopher kissed the top of her head.
"Welcome
home, princess." He whispered against her head.
Gwen
and Linda descended upon us quickly.
"Oh
my, she's so tiny, isn't she?" Gwen whispered, running her fingers over
one of Maggie's cheeks.
"She's
beautiful." Linda said, rubbing Maggie's fuzzy head.
"Just
like her mother." Christopher kissed the top of my head.
"I
dunno. That's not my hair." He laughed. Grinning, I brushed over the
spiked pieces of dark hair on her head.
"Mia,"
Laney danced up to me. "There's so much to show you, but first you have to
see one special room." She was bouncing uncontrollably.
"Calm
down, Laney," Christopher chuckled. "We'll get to that."
"I'm
just so excited." Laney cheered.
"Should
I be worried?" I raised my brow at Christopher.
He
rubbed the back of his head.
"Umm...I
kind of recruited Laney to help out with Maggie's room." He looked at me
through his lashes. My eyes widened, because all I could think of was that
Laney had probably created an entire room that looked like someone had puked
Barbie pink all over.
"Oh,"
was all I said.
"Come
on, you'll love it." Laney beamed. Grabbing my arm, she started pulling
me. "I know you better than you think."
"Easy
Laney, she's sore." Chris took Laney's hand from my arm, a scowl on his
face.
"Oh
crap! I'm sorry." Laney cringed.
"It's
okay, let's just take it slow." I smiled small and walked toward the
stairs.
At
the top of the stairs, Laney stopped in front of the bedroom door next to the
master bedroom. I took a deep breath before she opened the door. I gasped
entering the room.
"Oh,
Laney." I breathed.
"You
like it?" I couldn't speak. "If you don't, we can change –"
"Laney,
it's gorgeous." I reached my free arm around her and hugged her to my
side.
"Really?"
A tear started to roll over Laney's cheek.
"Of
course," I smiled.
"Great,"
she exclaimed. "I'm so glad you like it. It's called Guinevere."
What
I had assumed about Laney's nursery vision was completely wrong. The walls
painted a light cream color and a light sage trim. The floor carpeted in light
beige. The crib looked as if it was straight out of the renaissance. A solid
headboard and foot board with beautiful moldings at the top and bottom, with a
painting of pink roses in the middle. It was an antiqued cream color with the
same sage green trim. The bedding was cream, coral, and light copper. Also, a
dresser and changing table matched the crib. The canopy over the crib was cream
colored and draped beautifully down the four sage green posts. It was perfect.
Feminine but not pink. It was perfect for my princess.
"It
really is perfect. Thank you." I kissed her cheek.
By
the time, we'd gotten downstairs, Kat, Elliott, Jackson, and Serena had
arrived. I went into an empty room to feed Maggie before handing her over to
Gwen, who'd been twitching to hold her since we got home. Then I excused myself
to shower.
Taking
off my clothes, I looked into the large mirror. My body had definitely changed.
Sighing, I climbed into the shower and let the warm water cascade over me.
Reaching for my body wash the familiar surroundings felt good. I let myself
process everything that had happened over the past few days. I hadn't even
realized I was crying, all the emotions pouring into the steamy water.
"Mia?"
Christopher knocked repeatedly. I quickly rinsed off my face, rubbing easy.
"Yeah."
"You
okay?" The door closed behind him.
"Yeah,
I'm fine." I turned off the water and stuck my hand out, keeping the rest
of my body hidden. "Can you hand me a towel?" I heard his movements,
but jumped when he pulled the shower door back.
"Why
are you hiding?" He grinned.
"Give
me the damn towel!" I grabbed for it, but stretched a little too far. A
sharp pain tore through my incision area. "Fuck," I growled through
clenched teeth.
"Be
careful." He wrapped the towel around me. "Seriously, why are you
hiding from me?" He helped me out of the shower. I groaned.
"Like
it isn't obvious that my body is destroyed," I rolled my eyes.
He
huffed and moved in front of me, lifting my chin so I looked into his face.
"Amelia
Ryder, you're beautiful."
I
snorted.
"You
don't believe me?"
"Oh,
yeah I believe that my flabby, puffy stomach is so freaking hot, especially
with the large incision mark and stitches. Playboy here I come!" I tried
to mask my angry insecurities with humor.
"First
of all, you just had a baby, my baby. I'm the reason for all of the changes in
your body and the fucking incision." He argued. I was about to speak when he
placed his hand on my mouth.
"I
don't want to hear you talk about this again. I think you're even more
beautiful than ever. In fact the moment you place our daughter to your breast I'm
jealous of that little angel." He sighed. "I know I can't, that we
can't, but do you understand how much I want you? And as for Playboy...that
will never be happening if I have any say about it."
I
raised an eyebrow at him.
"So,
Playboy is out for me?" I grinned.
"Mia..."
he used a warning tone. "No one is going to see your body, but me."
"Trust
me no one would want to." I snorted.
Walking
into the bedroom, I could feel Christopher close behind me. I went into the
walk in closet and changed into something comfortable. Chris walked me
downstairs to our family.
At
the bottom of the steps, I could smell food and my stomach growled. Christopher
chuckled from beside me. Walking into the kitchen, I saw containers of Chinese
food sitting on the counter. Grabbing a plate, I piled on some steamed
vegetables, rice, and a little soy sauce. I knew it wasn't on the Nutritionist's
list of approved foods, but damn it one plate wasn't bad.
Christopher
appeared with his own plate and sat on the floor between my legs. Looking
across the room Elliott was holding Maggie. He sat stiffly like he was afraid
he would to hurt her.
"Give
her to me. She misses her aunt." Serena reached over and took her from
him. Elliott looked happier to sit Serena on his lap while she held Maggie.
Ryan climbed up and sat staring at the baby in Serena's arms.
"Mommy,
can we have a baby?" Ryan's face was full of curiosity.
"W-what?"
Serena stuttered.
"I
want a baby." He looked at her excitedly. Elliott coughed loudly and the
rest of us started to laugh.
"Uh...Ry,
I think we could just play with Maggie for awhile, okay?" Serena smiled at
the pouting boy.
"No.
I want one at our house!" He plopped down into the couch. Serena rolled
her eyes and shook her head.
"Good
luck with that Elliott!" Jimmy snorted before busting into laughter.
"Is
Elliott going to have a baby?" Ryan looked confused but excited. We
laughed harder. Elliott's face reddened. Serena tried to change the subject
with the idea of swimming.
After
a few hours everyone left except for Nicholas and Gwen, they were staying with
us for a couple of days. John, Linda, Serena, Elliott, and Ryan left for
Whidbey Island together. Laney, Jackson, Jimmy, and Natalia headed to Seattle.
It was hard to watch my family leave, hard to see us all going separate ways,
but one glance at Christopher cradling our baby and it was easier.
I
took Maggie into our room, with Christopher close behind me. I wasn't ready for
her to sleep in her own room yet and planned to use the bassinet. Christopher
took a shower while I fed Maggie. While Maggie suckled, I placed my head back
against the headboard and closed my eyes. Not hearing Christopher come out of
the bathroom, I was startled when his body weight cause the bed to shift.
"Sorry."
He said apologetically.
I
shrugged, careful not to disturb Maggie.
Christopher
ran his fingers over Maggie's head and cheek as her suck slowed. Then his
fingers trail over my breast and up around my neck. Cupping my neck, he leaned
up and kissed me passionately. His tongue entered my mouth, but then he pulled
himself away. I smiled at him and cupped his face.
"Christopher,
we need to talk." I watched his face turn from joy to worry. A twinge of guilt
passed through me. "It's not bad. At least I don't think it is. I just
want to talk about what happened in the hospital."
"Mia,
I thought I'd lost you and our daughter, or even just one of you. I lost
control." He sighed.
"I
understand, but what are you going to do? You know about your issues." I
swallowed hard, not wanting to start a fight by choosing the wrong word.
"Doctor
J made a convincing argument. I start my sessions more frequently for awhile
and perhaps try out some other forms of therapy as well." He shrugged like
it wasn't a big deal.
"This
is important. I know you're trying, but you act so casual about it sometimes.
It's hard for me to think you're really working on this." I furrowed my
brow at him. "I need to know, for sure, that you're serious about your
therapy or this," I motioned between the three of us, "will never
work." Moisture pooled in my eyes.
He
cupped my face quickly.
"Nothing
is more important to me than you and Maggie. I promise I'm serious about this.
I've already gotten my therapy sessions scheduled with Dr. J's assistant. If
you want to see my session schedule then I'll gladly show it to you. If that's
what it takes to make you feel better, I'll do it. I shook my head.
"No,
I believe you. Just please, don't stop going." I pleaded. He kissed me
tenderly.
Laying
Maggie into her bassinet, I turned and climbed into Christopher's welcoming
arms.
*
* * * *
Sleeping
next to Mia had always put my mind and body at ease. Now, knowing how it felt
to think I'd lost them, they were my whole universe. Nothing would ever take
them away from me and I would never do anything to lose them.
Maggie
started to stir after only a few hours. Sliding out of bed I picked her up;
hoping I wouldn't have to wake Mia to feed her. In the morning, we were going
to have to find a way I could help with night feedings.
I
cradled my miraculous little bundle in my arms and rocked her back and forth.
She was still slightly fussy, so I started to sing one of my songs. Thankfully,
she was way too young to understand the lyrics, but the slow beat was like a
lullaby. It seemed to work, because she fell back to sleep. Not wanting to put
her down yet, I savored each small breath she made.
Finally,
kissing her head, I put her back down before sliding back into bed next to Mia.
"That
was beautiful," Mia murmured, shifting closer to me.
"I
thought you were asleep." Her side pressed against mine.
"Mmm...I
heard Maggie." She mumbled.
"Get
some rest." I whispered, rolling onto my side and taking her hand.
About
an hour, later Maggie was awake, and when I say awake, I mean she was fucking
awake and screaming. I picked her up while Mia made ginger movements to sit up.
I hated seeing her in pain. I rocked and cradled, but Maggie wanted nothing to
do with me.
"I'll
take her." Mia said, sitting up with her arms out. I handed Maggie over
and she immediately calmed. "Can you hand me that bag over there?"
Mia pointed to the large green diaper bag.
"What
do you need?" I asked pulling the bag open.
"A
diaper, wipes, and that white tube, please? Oh and I need the white mat under
the bag."
I
brought everything over and Mia set it up. White mat on the bed in front of
her, Maggie on the mat, old diaper off, wipes used, clean diaper on, and then
Mia pulled the little nightgown down. It amazed me she knew instinctively what
to do. It was like she'd been born with this information. I was in awe.
"Can
you hold her while I go to the bathroom?" I hesitantly nodded. Afraid
Maggie would get mad again. I was right. Mia was only gone for two minutes and Maggie
started to cry. I cradled, patted, and walked. Nothing worked. Mia appeared and
took Maggie, she was almost instantly better.
"How
do you do that?" I exclaimed. "She hates me." I pouted and sat
next to Mia and Maggie on the bed.
"She
doesn't hate you." Mia chuckled. "She just knows I'm her mother."
Mia shrugged.