Authors: Ellen Hopkins
Tags: #Juvenile Fiction, #Family, #General, #Orphans & Foster Homes, #Social Issues, #Adolescence, #Drugs; Alcohol; Substance Abuse
THAT BAD, HUH?
I go to the bathroom,
flip on the light switch.
Aagh! No wonder
Ashante looked so
scared. This is ugly.
Striping the right side
of my face from eyebrow
to cheek is a long, narrow
gash. Not a scratch.
Too deep, carved by
something critically
sharp. A ring? Closer
inspection makes
me slightly queasy.
This will leave a scar.
Soap. Water, hot as
I can stand it. Pain
can be a good thing.
Sometimes it means
killing germs, and if this
gets infected … well,
I’m not sure exactly what,
but I’m positive I don’t want
that to happen. The bleeding
slows, but the wound puffs up.
The girl in the mirror
looks like a total freak,
with one side of her face
swollen. Ugly. Deformed.
She starts to cry. Shit!
No fair. No fucking
fair. It wasn’t even
any of my business
what Erica did. Was it?
And what if Ashante
won’t tell what she did?
Who will take the fall?
Erica? Or me? If I tell,
will they believe me?
And how much do I tell?
Everything could come
crashing to the ground.
It’s like trying to cross
a raging river on a rope
bridge—fairly stable until
you reach the middle,
and then it all starts
to sway, and you know
you shouldn’t look down.
But you can’t help yourself.
DARLA COMES INTO THE BATHROOM
She approaches slowly, warily,
as if she’s cornered a killer tiger
or something. I snort. “No worries.
One attack per day is my max.”
But her expression shows concern,
not fear, and I realize it’s my face
she’s worried about.
That looks bad.
Maybe we should take you to the ER.
ER? They’ll want to know what
happened. Take a report. Send
it off to my caseworker. Bye-
bye, Darla and Phil. “No. I’m okay.”
That’s going to leave a nasty
scar, Summer. Unless … we
could try the Liquid Band-Aid
stuff. It stings like crazy, but …
“I can handle it.” I follow her
to the other bathroom, watch
her dig through her medicine
cabinet. Finally she finds the bottle.
This is a good antiseptic, too.
That’s why it stings so much.
The smell is almost enough
to knock me over.
Hang on.
Sting? It’s liquid fire, welding
my skin together. “Holy crap!”
But it lasts only a few seconds.
And I’ve felt worse pain.
Darla looks at me with sympathetic
eyes. But then she says,
Okay
,
now that you’re going to live, will
you please tell me what happened?
IF I TELL
Things could go
from bad to worse.
It’s been stable here,
few real surprises. But
if I tell,
the status quo will be
ruptured. The system
isn’t famous for
equitable fixes.
Things could
go from worse to
unbearable. But if I don’t
tell, Erica will get away
with her disgusting act
and Ashante will
go
without the help
she needs right now.
If I don’t tell, things
could definitely go
straight to hell.
MY MOUTH OPENS
Like a floodgate,
cascading words
doubtless better left
dammed up inside.
But every ugly detail
comes splashing out.
As I talk, Darla’s eyes
grow wide. She didn’t
suspect a thing. How is
it possible to take care
of problem kids and not
maintain a semi-constant
vigil for problems? Is she lazy?
Ignorant? Or maybe she doesn’t
really care about anything
except the monthly stipends.
If that’s the case, too bad, so
sad. I’m betting one or more
of those is about to disappear.