Authors: Ellen Hopkins
Tags: #Juvenile Fiction, #Family, #General, #Orphans & Foster Homes, #Social Issues, #Adolescence, #Drugs; Alcohol; Substance Abuse
WITH MY BACK TOWARD
The disturbing melodrama,
I squat, reach for my mess.
Now a different voice
settles like fog around me.
Here. Let me help you.
I know without looking
who’s speaking. The stupid
thing is, I somehow feel grateful
Bryce is talking to me at all.
Still, I protest, “No, thanks.
I’ve got it.” My tone is not
Christmas fudge sweet.
He holds out a hand, which
I ignore.
What’s wrong?
What is wrong? Not like
I can confess what I’m feeling.
“Uh, nothing. Something
happened at home is all.”
He watches me reorganize
my stacks.
You never talk
much about home. Why not?
Don’t you trust me?
I shut my locker, turn to
look him in the eye. “Not
a whole lot to talk about,
really.” I leave the rest hanging.
Over his shoulder, I notice
Tiffany, now nose to nose
with Billy Burke. Cherie would
flip! “What’s up with her today?”
The question slips out, slick
as Quaker State. Bryce rotates
on one heel.
Who? Tiffany?
She got new green contacts.
I guess she’s showing them
off to anyone who’ll notice.
MORTIFIED
That pretty much sums up
how I feel right this minute.
Mortified and relieved.
“Oh,” is all I can manage.
I finish lining up my spare
pens and pencils by color,
just as the bell rings.
Do you like football?
Bryce falls in step at my shoulder.
He’s warm and clean scented,
like rain and fresh-cut apples.
“Playing or watching?”
Dumb thing to say! Of
course he didn’t mean
playing.
Tick-tick-tick.
You like to play football?
He sounds really pleased.
Actually, I meant watching.
There’s a game tomorrow?
“I … uh … love football.”
It’s a slight exaggeration.
Aunt Cora loves football,
so I tolerate it. Hours of it.
Bryce grins.
Want to go with me?
He’s asking me to the game?
Like a “sit next to him in the stands,
knee touching knee” kind of date?
Tick-tick.
Stay cool. “Sure.”
Suddenly I’m acutely aware
of his body, pressed up against
mine. It feels proprietary. I like it.
Cool. I’ll see you at lunch.
Before he turns away, he leans
into me, and his lips brush
the pulse just below my ear.
Tick-tick-tick-tick-TICK!
I THINK
I just might go ahead and die
right here, right now. How
could anything be better than
the way I’m feeling this moment?
Ms. Dzumba blathers on
and on about amoebas, and all
I can think about is Bryce’s
kiss. It
was
a kiss, wasn’t it?
God, what if it was just an
accident? Was I supposed
to respond? What if that’s
the only kiss I ever get?
Worse, what if it’s not?
What if we go to the game
and he wants to kiss for real?
Like lips, with me kissing back?
What if I try to kiss back
and I totally blow it? Like
bump teeth or bite tongue?
Wait. Tongue? What about that?
What if I freak out completely?
Oh my God. Why did I say
okay? I can’t. I’m just not
a “go to the game” kind of girl.
HOW DO I BACK OUT GRACEFULLY?
Think, Autumn. Excuses
aren’t that hard to come by.
I’m sick.
Too close to the truth.
I broke my leg.
Too easy to disprove.
I have a toothache.
The dentist? On Saturday?
Work called me in.
When did you get a job?
I need to study.
There’s always Sunday.
I’m going in for
green contacts.
There’s a novel idea.
Grandfather won’t
let me go.
The biggest kicker of all.
What if he won’t?
BY THE TIME
The bell rings for lunch, I still
haven’t figured out what to say.
Then I see Bryce. Every ounce
of doubt melts away beneath
the warmth of his smile.
By the time I have stashed
my books, he is at my side.
Almost unbelievably, I feel
his arm slide around my waist.
Hungry? Come on. Let’s go.
I am not even a little bit hungry.
At least, not for food. Usually
I grab a quick bite at the snack
bar, sit on the lawn or in the quad
to nibble and read. But not today.
Bryce guides me out the door,
along the damp sidewalk to
the parking lot. He stops beside
a pretty emerald green Acura,
opens the passenger door.
I’ve never ridden in some
random car before. I slip inside,
vaguely uncomfortable, as if
I’m doing something wrong.
I kind of like the feeling, though.
Bryce takes the driver’s seat, glances
my way.
Penny for your thoughts.
My brain stutter must show.
How not to sound like a total
dweeb? “I was just checking out
your stereo.” True enough.
It’s a Bose. Cost a pretty penny.
Nice, huh? My brother gave it to
me for Christmas.
He starts the car
and the CD player kicks in. Incubus.
Interesting information. He has
a brother. A brother with money.
I realize suddenly that I know as little
about Bryce as he does about me.
Who has the biggest surprises in store?
SURPRISE NUMBER ONE
I expect him to drive to McDonald’s
or Burger King. Instead he high-
tails it several blocks away, pulls
into a strip mall parking lot.
Esperanza’s is a great little taqueria,
one of Aunt Cora’s favorite “hidden
hot spots.” Apparently it’s one
of Bryce’s favorites too.
He pulls up in front.
They have
killer burritos here. Oh, hey
,
you
do
like Mexican food, don’t
you? Wow, this place is rocking.
“Well, yeah. It
is
lunchtime.
And yes, I do, in fact, like Mexican
food. We’d better hurry, though,
or we’ll be late back to school.”
We go inside, squeeze our way
through the crowded tables
to the takeout counter. Bryce
orders his burrito. I ask for
a chicken soft taco before
I discover, “Oh, no. I didn’t
bring any money.” I must have
left it in yesterday’s jeans.
Bryce doesn’t miss a beat.
I’ve got it. I invited you to lunch
,
remember?
Surprise number two.
Some guys are still gentlemen.
We eat in the car, listening
to music I could never play
at home, at least not without
headphones, at least not
when Grandfather is around.
He isn’t big on metal. Bryce
downs his giant burrito faster
than I can finish my taco. I grin.
What?
he says. But he knows
why I’m smiling. He shrugs.
Guess I was hungrier than
I thought. Must be hormones.