Authors: Ellen Hopkins
Tags: #Juvenile Fiction, #Family, #General, #Orphans & Foster Homes, #Social Issues, #Adolescence, #Drugs; Alcohol; Substance Abuse
AT LEAST HE USED THE WORD “LOVE”
The “built around lies” part,
however, has me worried. I wish
I would never have made up
that stupid story about my parents
being dead. But hey, for all I know,
my mother is dead. Not like I’ve
heard a single word from her.
And my dad isn’t a whole lot better
than dead to me. I never really
expected to see him again.
Certainly not then. Did he pick
Aunt Cora’s wedding for shock
value alone? He couldn’t have
timed it worse, with Bryce right
there as he made his grand entrance.
At least Bryce is willing to let me
explain. But even if I fess up about
the circumstances of my birth, what
about my deeper dishonesty?
How much truth do I want to tell him?
MY STOMACH STIRS
And I’m pretty sure it has nothing
to do with the thought of lies.
Hope I’m not coming down with
Grandfather’s bug. Wonder if it’s cat
flu or dog flu, or some other
new, improved, unidentified strain.
He’s actually a little better today,
and seeing as how he’s a member
of one of those “high-risk populations,”
I guess that’s a really good thing.
I wander down the hall to check
on him, but he’s in the bathroom.
God! The smell coming from
his bedroom is going to make me …
Quick. Run to the other bathroom,
reach the toilet just in time for
my stomach to jet a horrid stream
of oatmeal and yogurt. Breakfast.
I HEAVE
And heave,
sweat breaking
out on my forehead.
Gut clenching
and letting go.
Clenching. Great.
Who will take care
of Grandfather
if I get sick too?
Who will take
care of me?
No Aunt Cora to
tuck me in bed.
No Aunt Cora to
bring me soup,
steaming cups of
tea. Ugh. Soup.
Just the thought
makes me hurl
again. I hurl till
I’m food-empty and
there’s nothing
left in my stomach
but putrid air.
ALL HURLED OUT
Shaky. Drained. I poke my head
through Grandfather’s door, see
he is dozing. Sounds like a plan.
I wander into the living room, turn
on the TV. Lie down on the couch
to not watch the History Channel.
Some boring show about some boring
monarch in some boring century.
My eyes, weighted, close and I slip
toward some deep pocket of dark
space. Warm here. Comforting, with
a low buzz of canned boring voices.
Ringing now. Ringing? Bell. Doorbell?
Bell? I swim up into a bay of flat,
gray light. Doorbell. Who? Bryce!
He came? I jump up way too fast.
My head is so light. Did my brain
shrink? I steady myself. “Coming!”
The door is so far. Oh, God. Don’t
leave. Don’t go away. “Be right
there!” I reach for the knob, jerk
the door open. “Bryce!” But no,
he’s too tall. Too dark. Too old.
Trey. Perfect. The anti-Bryce.
Sorry. Not Bryce. Can I come in?
He doesn’t wait for an answer,
though. Just pushes on past me.
“W-wait. I’m not sure … uh …”
Not sure of what? Think, Autumn.
“Uh, Grandfather has been sick.”
That’s okay. I’m not here to see
him. I’m here to see you. We’ve
got a little catching up to do.
I follow him into the living room,
watch him flip off the TV. I start
to tell him I don’t feel so hot either,
notice I’m actually better. Strange.
I figured I’d be on my back for days,
like Grandfather, who I should tell
we’ve got a visitor. Then again,
he’s asleep and I’m a big girl.
I can handle this on my own.
AT LEAST I THINK I CAN
When it comes right down
to it, I don’t know very
much at all about
the man
sitting on Grandfather’s
recliner, claiming it as if
it were his own. I think he
is
probably dangerous.
Aren’t all armed robbers?
And yet, would he be
a
threat to me? For all I
really know, he could
be a serial killer, a
total
whacked-out pervert,
stalking his next victim.
He is nothing but a
stranger.
A black hole. Will he suck
me in? Burn me up? What
does he want with me?
HE STUDIES ME
For several minutes. Finally says,
You look a lot like her. Your
mother. Her hair is darker.
You got the red from my mom.
Straight for the jugular.
“I wouldn’t know. I never
met my mother. I don’t
even know her name.”
He looks at me like I’m crazy.
No one ever told you her name?
I shake my head. “For all
I know, the stork delivered me.”
His mouth twitches slightly.
No, you were born at Washoe
Med in Reno. Your mom’s name
is Kristina. She lives in Vegas.
“Why should I care? She never
cared enough to contact me.”
Not exactly true. I just talked
to her a little while ago….
He talked to her? About me?
“She doesn’t even care if I’m alive.”
That’s not so. She’s tried to find
you since she got out of prison.
What is he talking about? Anger
stings, hot in my cheeks. “No way.
No calls. No letters. Definitely
never came ringing the doorbell.”
Because she didn’t know where
you were. I didn’t either, not until
Mom got the news about Cora’s
wedding. Why do you think
everyone was so surprised when
we showed up?
He sets his jaw.
“I don’t understand. How could
you not know where I was?”