Authors: Louise Behiel
Andie had called Social Services and explained the situation to her supervisor. He wasn’t thrilled, but since the kids hadn’t been involved in any way, and since there wasn’t another place to put them, and since moving them could cause severe problems for all of them, he decided to let sleeping dogs lie. Especially since the foster mother involved in the situation was their leading, long-term care specialist. Besides, they had bigger, more serious problems to handle right now.
Pulling into one of the few large stalls in the parkade, Gray wished he had a fancy car to drive. A woman as fine as Andie deserved better than a truck. Especially a work truck – even if it was a spotlessly clean truck. With Jamie’s help, he’d scrubbed it inside and out today. The little guy had become a tease over the past few days. And he’d become a tyrant with the garden hose.
Pocketing the keys, Gray rounded the truck, opened the passenger door and put his palms on her waist, lifting her out. Slowly, he slid her down his body, just for torment. There was no way they’d be able to satisfy the fire they’d nurtured for the last few weeks, but it didn’t hurt to blow on the embers – to be sure they were still hot.
As he stepped back, she straightened her dress, then pulled a little on one side. The top of the thing slid down a half inch or so, showing a whole lot of skin and nothing else.
He swallowed. Hard.
She kept adjusting the top of her dress, giving him glimpses and glances of bare skin.
“If you’re trying to drive me crazy, you’re succeeding.”
Such an innocent face. Such a tease.
“I thought you might want to stand here by the truck and play some games,” she said, her voice smoky and sultry and pure temptation.
His control snapped. “I’ll show you what I want.” He stepped close and took her mouth, tormenting her tongue with his. Turning his back to the traffic lane, he adjusted one strap of her dress, pulling it down over her arm. When he realized how easily the top slid, his heart almost stopped.
He palmed her nearly-bare breast, dying for a taste. His mind told him to pull her dress into place and step back before he lost control, but his body wasn’t quite ready to behave with such good sense. So he let his tongue show her what the rest of him wanted.
“Get a room.” The screech of tires behind his truck startled him. Thank God he’d used a small degree of common sense before getting carried away, or somebody else might have seen an eye full.
For some reason that possibility made him very, very edgy.
“Guess we should go inside.” She tidied herself, looking completely relaxed and in control.
“We should.” He took her arm and escorted her to the door of the elevator lobby, then braced his hand against it.
“Answer me one thing?”
She nodded.
“What do you on have under that thing?” His extended hand dropped about a foot, indicating her dress.
“My dress?” Her brows raised into an arch.
He nodded.
“Panties.”
He groaned.
“Lace ones.”
He nearly swallowed his tongue. “I figured you were trying to drive me crazy.” He waved her inside, then punched the button for the elevator, all the while trying to rein his body in.
The doors opened and two couples stepped to the sides of the car to make room for him and Andie. The door slid closed and she leaned close.
“Black.”
When they were waiting to be seated she crooked her finger calling him close and said one word. “Thong.”
He knew he wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between heaven and hell tonight.
Dinner was excellent, he figured, given the restaurant’s reputation. Renowned for its fine dining and the great view from the top of the six hundred foot structure, the Tower was a perennial favorite with Calgarians.
Dancing had been torment. The live band only played old, slow music – the kind you sway to. Generally, it was Gray’s preference, since he wasn’t much of a dancer, but having her bare back under his hands nearly drove him crazy. Knowing how little she had on underneath her dress, how close she was to naked against him created a special kind of pain.
They’d decided on a late dinner, so she could be sure Jamie was settled before they left. Now nearly ten, the restaurant was on its second revolution as they relaxed over snifters of brandy.
“Have you had any more dreams?”
He shook his head as his thumb drew circles on her upper arm. He’d been in a state of constant arousal all evening and couldn’t keep his hands off her. When she slid into the chair beside him, he figured she wouldn’t mind his arm around her shoulder.
“None?”
“None that made any sense when I woke up.”
“They didn’t wake you?” she asked, swirling her brandy before lifting it to her lips and swallowing it slowly.
He licked his lips and took a sip of water.
“No.” It was difficult to think about his dreams with her sitting next him, her thigh snugged against his.
“Any idea what they’re about?”
He shook his head. “Not really.” He rubbed a circle into the condensation on his glass. “Except....”
“What?”
“It sounds really hokey but I wake up feeling lost. Sort of lonely.” He looked into the night, feeling the pervasive emptiness of these past weeks. He’d blamed it on missing Andie and the intimacy of their weekend together. He’d thought it might be from living alone so much. He’d even briefly considered going to Vancouver to see his parents for a few days. But nothing filled the hole.
He could feel the wind blowing through him.
Worst of all, he hadn’t found anything to take the ache away. So he lived with it. Felt it. Carried it. Hurt with it.
“How long does the feeling last?”
“At first, only an hour or so, but this past couple of days, it’s there when I go to bed and when I wake up.”
“Can I get you anything else?” The server stood politely beside their table.
“Nothing for us. Thanks.”
“I’ll leave this then.” The waiter discreetly laid a black leather envelope beside him. “But there’s no need to hurry.”
“What makes it worse is I don’t know what ‘it’ is, except nothing.”
“It sounds as if you’re lonely.”
“For you.” He lifted her hand and placed a gentle kiss on her knuckles, then turned it over and put one in the center of her palm, closing her fingers around it. “Only for you.”
“Sweet talker.” She teased, but he noticed she held her hand closed. “Why don’t we go up to the observation deck?”
The level above the restaurant boasted floor to ceiling windows and provided a panoramic view of the city. A tourist draw at any time of the year, it was particularly pretty after dark with the lights of the city laid out at your feet.
He slipped a couple of bills into the wallet and drained his water, then rose. “Good idea,” and extended his hand to help her to her feet.
Holding her hand, fingers laced, they walked around the dining room to the elevator. Once the doors closed, Gray tipped her chin and bent to take a taste. Sweet warm brandy and woman. He wanted to explore longer, deeper but the bell dinged and the taped voice said ‘Observation Deck’.
Gray noticed it was easy to pick out the city landmarks from up here, even when his senses were distracted by the woman beside him. Her spicy cologne mixed with the herbal essence of her shampoo were an unforgettable combination he carried with him night and day.
“Hey wow, look at this.” The boy’s sharp voice cracked in mid-sentence. “Come here dad. Look.” He pointed at something to the south of the tower. “That looks neat. Can we go there tomorrow, please?”
The man carried a boy in his arms. Obviously younger, he looked like he’d been ready for bed a few hours ago. “We’ll see how your brother is feeling tomorrow, Jerrod. This has been a big day for him.”
“He’s always spoiling our fun. He’s such a baby.”
The boy’s sharp voice cut something in Gray. The scene before him dissolved.
H
e wanted to shout “I am not a baby.” But he was too tired and his dad’s shoulder was too comfortable.
“
He’s not a baby, Geordie, he’s a little boy who tires more quickly than you.”
“
But....”
“
We’ve had a busy day and your brother should have been in bed a long time ago. He’s been a trooper.” His dad shushed his older brother.
“
We don’t even know what that water is, but we’ll check in the morning. If it’s okay, we’ll go swimming after your brother wakes up.”
“
He could sleep ‘til noon.”
“
Geordie, that’s enough. We’re on holidays and we all have to enjoy ourselves. I said we’ll check in the morning.”
“
He always spoils our fun,” Geordie mumbled as he walked away, flashing Greg a mean look over his shoulder. “I didn’t ask for a little brother but I’m stuck with him.”
“
Your big brother is tired, little man. He doesn’t mean it.” His dad pulled a candy from his shirt pocket and offered it to him. “Want a mint?”
Greg shook his head. A mint wouldn’t make him a big boy so his brother would like him.
***
“Gray. Gray.” Andie pulled on his arm, trying to get his attention. He’d stopped in the middle of the floor and stared at the father and sons who now walked in front of them.
“Gray?” His eyes were blank.
He blinked slowly then swayed. Finally saw her. Made eye contact.
“Are you okay?”
He dropped her hand and pushed his fingers through his hair. “I’m not sure.” He looked around. “Come on. I’ve got to get out of here.”
He pulled her to the elevator and stabbed the button, tension radiating from every pore. His face hard, he clenched his jaw and fisted his hand.
Inside, he could have faded into the muted steel walls, except for the tension darting off him. As soon as the door opened, he hurried her through the foyer and across the parking lot.
He fumbled with his keys, finally opened her door and lifted her inside, slamming the door as he hurried around to the driver’s side.
His breathing was rapid and shallow and perspiration dotted his forehead and upper lip. Hands fisted the steering wheel.
“Gray? What happened up there?”
He turned to her, eyes marred by pain. “Either I’m losing my mind or my whole life is a lie.”
She waited, swallowing her fear down. Something serious had changed in him and she wasn’t sure she liked it. Gone was the lonely, teasing, kind, man she knew. In his place was someone hard. And dangerous.
“I don’t understand.”
His derisive laugh froze her breath in her lungs.
“Neither do I.” He slapped the steering wheel. “I don’t know what’s going on.” He stared straight ahead. “I’ve always known who I am and where I came from. It wasn’t the best home, but there were far worse.” He drew in a shuddering breath. “At least I thought there were.”
Andie didn’t know what to do except let him talk it out, so she sat quietly in the corner of the truck, watching him.
“How do I find out the truth?” He shook his head in a tight, short movement.
“What do I say? Hi mom. Who’s Geordie? Oh by the way, is my life a lie?”
He slapped the wheel with the base of his fist. “Damnit. How could she do this to me? And why?”
He looked down at his lap, obviously trying to put things together, then he swiveled slightly toward her.
“Up there.” He tipped his head toward the top of the tower, “When that boy was whining about his little brother, I knew what the little guy was feeling and thinking, Andie.” He patted his chest. “I could feel it - here.”
He jerked his tie loose.
“What the hell is going on with me? First the nightmares then the dreams and now these...these memories. Nothing makes any sense.”
His bleak eyes looked into the darkness and he began to shake.
Probably with emotional shock, Andie thought as she slid across the seat to him. “Gray.” She purposely kept her voice very soft. “Give me the keys, please.”
“Keys?”
She nodded. “I think we need to start the truck.”
He extended his hand but the keys didn’t drop. Andie turned it over and gently opened each finger, finally taking the keys from him. The imprints would heal, although she wasn’t sure about his heart.
Starting the vehicle she remained close, offering comfort while trying to give him as much space as possible, not wanting to interfere with whatever was happening inside him.
“Who am I?”
She wasn’t sure how to answer his question, but decided honesty was the best policy. “You told me your name was Grayson Mills and you were raised in Vancouver.”
“If that isn’t true, then who am I?”
Unable to deny him some comfort, she lightly placed her hand on his thigh.
“You are a kind, caring man who’s helped a little boy find his way back to life. You’re a brave, courageous man who’s done everything in his power to protect the kids and I.”