“Anna,” Justin
said, gripping the railing, “could I have a word with you before
you go inside?”
She looked from
one man to the other before faking a smile. “Of course.” Pointing
toward her bungalow, she said, “Why don’t you head inside and make
yourself at home, Tom?”
“Don’t mind if
I do,” he said, picking up his suitcase. “I think I’ll grab a quick
shower.” Kissing her cheek, Tom asked, “Why don’t you join me?”
Justin glared
at the back of the man’s head before Anna could usher him off.
“What the
hell’s going on here?” Justin asked when Anna finally made her way
up the stairs to join him.
“I don’t know
what you’re talking about,” she said, pulling her white denim shirt
tighter around her body.
“I thought you
said you were through with that guy.” Justin knew he didn’t have
the right to demand an explanation, but he couldn’t help himself.
Knowing she was spending the night alone with her ex would drive
him crazy.
“I didn’t ask
him to come,” she said. “He’s been here before, so it’s not like it
would have been difficult for him to find me.”
His time was
running out, so he pulled her into his arms. Looking down into her
eyes, he gave her less than a second to push him away before his
lips came down on hers, hard and demanding. He’d wanted to kiss her
since the first time he laid eyes on her, but his fantasies
couldn’t have prepared him for the reality. She was so responsive,
so hot, like she’d been waiting for that moment almost as long as
he had.
Wrapping her
arms around his neck, she arched her back and leaned into the
kiss.
Groaning, he
molded her body to his. Deepening the kiss, he plunged deeper,
never wanting to let her go.
Finally, her
hands circled his biceps, pushing him away. “What was that for?”
she asked, looking dazed.
“Happy
birthday, beautiful,” he whispered. Dipping his head, he treated
himself to another kiss. He didn’t care that the man who wanted to
make her his wife was only a few feet away. The only thing that
mattered was that she was in his arms, responding in a way that
told him she’d spent the past eight hours thinking about him
too.
“Justin, I…”
She touched her fingers to her swollen lips. “We shouldn’t have
done that.”
“Why the hell
is he here?” he asked, unable to contain his frustration. He wanted
to talk, to resolve their issues so they could pick up where they’d
started with that kiss.
“I don’t know.”
She stepped out of his arms, turning her back on him. “I didn’t ask
him to come.”
“Get rid of
him,” he whispered, caging her in with his hands on either side of
the railing. Pressing his arousal into her backside, he said, “Come
on, Anna. We need to see where this is going. You broke up with
that guy for a reason. You said yourself he couldn’t give you what
you needed.” The ocean breeze blew her hair back, giving him access
to her neck. Gliding his tongue over her pulse point, he said, “I
think we both know I can.”
She gripped his
wrists as she leaned into his chest and allowed him to continue his
exploration. “I can’t. We…”
He let her
protest fade away as he continued kissing her neck. Grabbing her
waist, he held her tight against him. “I haven’t wanted a woman
this much… ever.” He knew it wasn’t the time to hold back. If he
did, he would lose his opportunity with her. “Please,
sweetheart.”
“Stop,” she
said, trying to pull away. “I need to sort this out on my own.”
Taking a deep breath, she stepped out of his arms. “I can’t let
this crazy attraction dictate my future. Tom and I spent so many
years together. We still… care about each other.”
Scraping his
hands through his hair, he swore softly. “We both know he’s not the
right guy for you. Why the hell are you doing this?” When she
failed to respond, he asked, “Are you so afraid of what you feel
for me?”
Rolling her
eyes, she said, “You do think highly of yourself, don’t you? What
makes you think this has anything to do with you?”
“It has
everything to do with me,” he growled. “If that guy had shown up
here before you met me, we both know you would have sent him
packing.”
Raising her
chin, she glared at him. “You don’t know that.”
“Yeah, I do,
and so do you.” Grabbing her shoulders, he shook her slightly. “You
can’t live in your protected little cocoon your whole goddamn life.
You’re afraid to take chances, afraid to follow your heart and fall
in love with someone who makes you feel-”
“Stop it!” she
shouted, pushing him away. “You don’t know anything about me.” She
started running down the stairs but not before he delivered his
parting shot.
“You can’t run
away from this. You can hide out in his arms for a while, but I’ll
be the guy you see when you close your eyes tonight.”
Anna walked to her
house slowly, taking the time she needed to collect herself before
facing Tom. She couldn’t imagine what had possessed him to visit
her. He had attempted to contact her several times since their
breakup, but Anna had always been reserved during their
conversations and emails. She hadn’t wanted to give him false hope
about a reconciliation she knew would never happen.
Walking inside,
she was surprised to see Tom standing in the living room wearing
only a towel. “Um, we can talk when you get out of the shower.”
He walked
forward, reaching for her. “I was kind of hoping you would join
me.”
Side-stepping
him, she walked into the kitchen to retrieve two bottles of water
from the fridge. Their relationship had never been passionate, and
their lovemaking could only be described as vanilla. She suspected
he was trying to give her what he thought she needed to bridge the
gap between them. Poor misguided Tom. Didn’t he realize he was two
years too late?
“I don’t think
so, Tom.” She took a sip of water, trying to ignore the fact the
man she once thought she’d loved was standing before her, half
naked. “I think you’d better tell me why you came.”
“I told you, I
wanted to help you celebrate your birthday.”
“My birthday’s
not until tomorrow.”
“I know that.”
He smiled and gestured to the diamond necklace on the counter. “I
just couldn’t wait to give you your present.”
“It’s lovely,
but I’m afraid I can’t accept it.” Her hand trembled as she set her
water bottle down on the counter. She’d never mastered the art of
confrontation, and she found defending her opinions difficult,
especially when she was up against an opponent so intent on getting
his own way.
“Of course you
can. It’s a birthday gift.”
“We’re not a
couple anymore,” she said, forcing herself to look him in the eye.
“It wouldn’t be appropriate.”
Releasing a
heavy sigh, he braced his hand on the counter. “I’ve given you time
and space, just like you wanted, but it’s time to put an end to
this nonsense, Anna. I love you, and I know you love me.”
“That’s just
it,” she said quietly. “I don’t love you anymore.”
He stared at
her for what seemed like an eternity before his face drained of
color. “You can’t be serious.”
She didn’t
expect it to come as such a surprise to him. After all, she had
ended their engagement. That should have given him a clue. “I’m
afraid so.” She reached out to cover his hand with hers. “I think
you’re a wonderful man, and I don’t have any regrets about the time
we spent together, but our lives started moving in different
directions even before you accepted the job offer in
California.”
He glared at
her. “Were you having an affair with him all along?”
Withdrawing her
hand, she asked, “What are you talking about?”
“Him,” he said,
pointing to the house next door.
She couldn’t
stop the hysterical laughter bubbling up. “I can’t believe you
would think that.”
“When I heard
you were here with him, I knew something must be going on.”
She narrowed
her eyes as his words registered. “How did you know I wasn’t alone
on the island?”
“I called
Lauren. She told me.”
Anna vowed to
deal with her cousin later. “She had no right to tell you that.
Justin and I are just friends.” Just thinking of that kiss made her
skin tingle.
“Are you sure
about that?” he asked, folding his arms over his bare chest.
Squaring her
shoulders, she said, “I really don’t owe you an explanation.
Nothing is going on between me and Justin, and even if there was,
our relationship is over.” She immediately regretted her harsh tone
when she saw the hurt in his eyes. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt
you. I just need you to understand it’s time for us to move
on.”
“I don’t know
how to do that.” He reached for her hand. “When I thought of my
future, my wife, the mother of my children, I always thought of
you. I still do.”
Tom rarely
showed emotion, so Anna didn’t think to question his sincerity. “I
know that moving on is hard, for me too, but prolonging the
inevitable is only going to hurt us more in the end. You must know
that.”
He opened his
arms, and she hesitated. Given his state of undress, the gesture
seemed too intimate for a couple on the brink of saying their final
good-bye. Chastising herself for over-thinking, she stepped into
his waiting arms and laid her head on his shoulder. “I wish things
could have been different.”
He stroked her
hair and whispered, “I just want you to be happy.”
“I want the
same for you.”
He held her
face between his hands and tipped her head back. “Are you sure we
can’t find that together?”
“I wish we
could,” she said, knowing her life would be so much easier if she
could convince herself to pick up where she left off with Tom.
“Is it because
of him?”
She didn’t
bother to pretend she didn’t know who he was talking about. “No,
I’m not fooling myself into believing I could ever have a future
with someone like Justin. I want stability in my life, someone
who’ll be around to help me raise our children. I would never have
that kind of guarantee with someone like him.”
Tom stepped
back, putting some distance between them as he regarded her. He was
obviously considering his next words carefully. “There are no
guarantees in life, Anna. I see people pass through my emergency
room every day facing death when they thought they had another
forty or fifty years to do all the things they wanted to do.”
“But it’s
different with Justin. He knowingly takes the risk every time he
climbs into that car.”
“We all take
risks every time we drive a car, cross the street, climb aboard an
airplane.” He smiled. “You can’t stop living because you’re afraid
of dying.”
She couldn’t
believe what she was hearing. Was he encouraging her to take a
chance on Justin? “You think I’m afraid to take risks, don’t you?”
Few people knew her as well as Tom did, so she welcomed his
insight.
“I’m ashamed to
admit I always encouraged you to play it safe because I was afraid
that if you started taking on new challenges, you’d develop more
confidence and realize you didn’t need me anymore.”
Anna couldn’t
believe Tom, who had always been confident to the point of
arrogance, had lived with the fear of being less than she needed.
“I’ve never been a risk taker. That’s not who I am.”
He smiled. “But
sometimes you have to take a chance, or you run the risk of living
the rest of your life with regret, wondering what might have
been.”
She knew he was
right, but she favored calculated risks. She knew what she wanted,
and she believed in making choices that supported her goals.
Falling for a man like Justin, who was only looking for a way to
forget his problems for a while, would be a colossal mistake. In
spite of her cousin’s urgings, she didn’t do casual relationships.
Not even when the man in question was a sexy race car driver who
made her want to forget her responsibilities for a while.
“I think I’ve
made my point,” Tom said, kissing her forehead. “I’m going to turn
in now. I’d like to get an early flight in the morning.”
“Thanks,” she
said, holding his wrists when he tried to pull away. Looking him in
the eye, she said, “You’ve given me a lot to think about.”
He smirked.
“When I came here, I never expected to encourage you to go after
another man.” He brushed the back of his hand over her cheek. “But
I meant what I said. I do want you to be happy, Anna.”
***
Justin cursed
when he saw Tom cross in front of the window wearing only a towel.
He pulled Anna into his arms, and Justin had to look away. He
didn’t want to witness the woman he wanted giving herself to
another man.
He’d only known
her a short time, yet he couldn’t resist her. She was beautiful,
but she was so much more than that. She was sweet and funny,
talented and shy. He appreciated her more every time they were
together.
Justin walked
down the beach in the opposite direction of Anna’s house. He felt
the waves lap against his ankles as his mind drifted. A few months
ago, his future was written in stone. His only goal was securing
the big prize at the end of the racing season. Winning didn’t seem
to matter anymore. Todd was gone, and nothing would bring him
back.
Shoving his
hands into the pockets of his shorts, Justin thought back to the
day they lost his friend. He’d been preparing for the race the same
as he did every other, giving himself a pep talk, imagining the
desired result, talking to the media, telling them he felt
confident, his car was running well, and he was ready.
Then came the
flashbacks that always lurked just beneath the surface… the crunch
of metal, the screams, the sickening smell of smoke wafting through
the air as everyone stood by feeling desperate and helpless.