Authors: Sydney Lane
“So, what am I
doing here, Brody?” Her voice cracks, like she’s nervous or scared of me. “You confuse me. I’m not really sure what you want from me.” Well, that’s an easy one. Walking toward her, I hold out my hand.
“
Quince, it’s not about what I want
from
you. It’s about what I want
with
you.” She hesitates before reaching for my outstretched hand, and I pull her to stand in front of me. With her boots on, she's a little taller and a helluva lot sexier. I draw her close, her body perfectly aligning with mine. Indecision floods her eyes, warning me that I will scare her away if I move too fast. So instead, I begin to sway with the music that penetrates the walls. She moves with me, setting a slow, seductive rhythm, her hips gently swaying to the beat. And when she lays her head on my chest, I wonder if she can hear my heart, pounding inside.
I feel her breath on my neck and her
body flex as she rises to her toes, just before her lips touch the sensitive spot just under my ear. Breathing in deep, I tilt my head back, giving her control. Her lips part, and her tongue glides over my skin, blazing a path down my neck. My hands are suddenly in her hair, tangled in it, urging her on. “Fuck, Quince. You are driving me crazy,” I whisper. My voice is deep and hoarse. This is sweet torture.
My words seem to ignite something in her
, her hands finding the bottom of my shirt and tugging it up. Her movements grow more hurried, more needy, and her breath comes in short bursts. I think Little Miss Perfect likes dirty talk.
When her hands touch my skin, a fire
ignites deep inside me, burning more intensely with each brush of her fingers. I reach over my neck, pulling my shirt over my head. When I pull her back to me, I lower my lips to hers. Fuck. She tastes as good as she smells, and it feeds the growing inferno inside me. I claim her lips with mine, parting them with my tongue. Timid at first, her tongue meets mine, seeking, learning, until I can’t take anymore.
Urgently
, I push her against the wall, and her legs automatically encircle my waist, her dress riding up over her hips.
Holy shit
. My hands and lips are everywhere. Her legs, her back, her neck. As I lick a path down her throat, the light suddenly goes out. Realizing she turned the light off, I ask between breaths, “Why did you do that? I want to see this beautiful body of yours.” I pull back and search her face in the shadows.
“It’s just embarrassing to me. I’ve never done this before…”
I lower my head, kissing my way down her chest, and as I lower her dress strap over her shoulder, her words sink in.
“You’ve never done
this
before or you’ve never done
any
of this before?” Her legs tighten around my waist, pulling me into her, and her hand around my neck tugs my head down. I recoil, almost afraid to ask. “No, wait a minute. You’re not… I mean, you have done this before, right?” I hold my breath, waiting for her to answer. A slight nod, and I know for certain.
“Quince, are you saying you’re a virgin?
” Another nod. She turns her eyes away from mine. “Shit, baby. I don’t want to do it like this, hiding in my room at a fraternity party. You deserve so much more than that.” Lowering her feet to the floor, I mold my mouth to hers once more. My hands find hers as I lead the way to the bed. “But there are other things we can try.” And I can’t wait to teach her a few of them.
She looks so amazing, staring up at me with those big
, brown eyes. Winding her arms around my neck, she pulls my mouth to hers. Again, I let her take control as she explores with her tongue. When she pulls back, I sit on the bed, gently tugging her onto my lap. With her boots on, she straddles my lap, her dress once again exposing her skin. I begin planting kisses down her neck and across her chest. She throws her head back and arches into me, urging me on. Her hair trails down behind her, tickling my thighs where it touches.
Rising up on her knees, she rocks into me. A pulse of electricity shoots through me, down
, into my jeans. I feel Quince jolt in surprise before trying it again. My hands move to her hips, rocking her into me, over and over again. She murmurs against my neck, those soft noises making it harder to remain in control. Her breath whispers over my skin, hot and urgent.
“My God, Quince, you feel so good. I want you so much
. You'reall I think about.
”
I’m not sure she's
aware of her own movements anymore, her body moving instinctively. My pants are suddenly too tight, becoming uncomfortable. I lift my hips off the bed, pressing into her. Her hips move with purpose until she stiffens and quakes on top of me. Her body seems to melt against me, and I kiss her softly as her breathing returns to normal. Taking several deep breaths, I come back to reality.
Several minutes pass while I try to make sense out of what just happened, what she just told me. If I was a better guy, I’d let her walk out that door and never look back. Hell, if I were a better guy, I’d be Declan
.
“Quince, have you told him? Does he know you have someone else waiting for you?”
I don’t have to say his name. We both know who I mean. Her entire demeanor changes, and I search her eyes in the darkness.
“I told him there is someone else. I’m working on it.”
She slides off my lap, smoothing her dress down her legs and looking everywhere but at me.
“Quince, look at me.
” When our eyes finally meet, I come as close to begging as I ever have. “I’m not like him. I don’t do the girlfriend thing, and I’m not good for you. But so help me, I want you. I don’t deserve you or any of this. If you’re looking for more, I don’t know, baby, if I can be that guy.” I take a shaky breath, wondering if I’m screwing the whole thing up. “Tell me you want this, too.” I don’t even know what I want right now, but I know it involves her. I hold my breath until she nods.
“I want this. I want you, too
,” she says boldly, convincing me that if we both want the same thing, what we’re doing can’t be wrong. I can’t contain the smile that reaches my face. I have an idea. I shouldn’t even think it, but I’m already going to hell anyway. “Next weekend is Labor Day weekend, and we have three days off. Friday night, after work, we can leave and go to the cabin. If we do this, we’re not doing it here. You have all week to decide if you want to go. Just remember, if you do, there is no turning back.” She turns away, her head down. I can’t resist a kiss to her bare shoulder. “Just think about it.”
When she
closes the door behind her, I release a deep sigh and drop to the edge of my bed. I couldn’t walk away now, even if I wanted to. It’s in her hands. She holds the key… if only she’d use it.
Chapter 18
There is another party Saturday night. It’s still early, and I’m watching the football game with Declan.
During a commercial, he reaches for the remote, lowering the volume. I watch, silently, not really sure I want to know what’s on his mind. When he turns to face me, I know he knows. My heart picks up its pace, and I’m searching my mind for an explanation that won’t kill our friendship.
“What’s up, Brody?” He looks serious, and I know he’s not asking about school. He has a way of making you feel like he can read your mind. It’s that whole chaplain thing he has going on.
“Nothing. Why?” I say, swallowing against the frog in my throat.
If he knows, why doesn’t he just say something already?
“Well. I thought I heard a girl in your room the other night, and then, I ran into Paige on my way to the bath
room. Anything you want to talk about?” I breathe a sigh of relief, mentally counting to ten.
One, two, three…. Ten. Ok. I got this.
“She won’t leave me alone, man. That’s why I had to change my phone number
. When she couldn’t get in touch with me, she came here.” He’s the only one who knows what happened. He knows, and yet, he’s never judged me. He says that what I feel is normal, that it will take some time to see it. I don’t really believe him.
“You gonna be
alright?” I almost smile. He sounds like a freakin’ counselor, and I love it.
“Yeah, you know me. I’ll be fine. Just wish she would go away.” He nods in understanding, like he gets it.
Except, he doesn’t. He’s never felt this way because he would have never gotten himself into that situation in the first place. He waits for me to say more, but when I don’t, he picks up the remote and turns the volume back up. As if nothing happened, we watch the rest of the game together, yelling, cheering, and cussing like brothers do. I'm kind of surprised he has a couple of beers with me. “What? Not a DD tonight?” I rib him, just like the old days. You know, like a month ago, before we met Quincy.
He shakes his head and smiles.
“Nah. No date tonight. Quincy went home for the weekend.” I hate that he knows where she is and I don’t, but I hate more than anything that her name just rolls off his lips like it belongs there. I’m pretty sure if I said,
“Quincy says she loves Chinese food,”
it wouldn’t go over so well. Yeah, I’m pretty sure things would go south pretty quick after that.
Music is already vibrating through the walls, and the house is full of
friends, acquaintances, and strangers by the time we leave my room. Together, we walk through the house, greeting people, until we find Eric and Seth on the porch. I’m not surprised that I hear Seth before I see him, but I'm surprised to find him with arm draped around Corrine’s neck. She’s smiling up at him while he captivates his own personal audience with a tale. He smiles drunkenly at me, pulling Corrine close.
“You stole my girl after all, Seth.” I hug Corrine, raising my eyebrows in question.
“Nope. She came to me all by herself. I mean, who could resist this?” He points to his chest. We all laugh with him, and I realize this is the most normal we’ve been since we met the girls.
Smiling at Corrine, I warn her
, “You better watch out for this guy.” I have no idea what they’re doing, but I hope it works out. Seth has been preoccupied lately, drinking a lot, and I just can’t put my finger on it. But something has been off.
“Oh, I’m not dating him. I just plan on sleeping with him.” At first, I’m shocked, and then
, I get it. She’s going to put Seth in his place.
Oh, hell yeah.
I knew I liked this girl for a reason, and maybe, in another time or place… Well, things might have been different.
The rest of the night, I hang with the guys. Eric isn’t all tied up with Jenna, Declan isn’t with Quincy, and I’m not trying to figure out how to get Quincy alone. For now, all is right in the world.
Except one thing.
Seth is the only one who has a girl. Crazy bastard.
Oh, and one more thing. I miss her. I mean, I really wish she were here, even if I could only watch her from across the room.
Chapter 19
A lot of guys would freak out at the word ‘virgin’. They automatically think the girl is looking for commitment. Some would get excited, knowing they’d be the first, like they're winning a trophy. I don’t really know what it does to me. It’s a strange mixture of fear and possessiveness, and it eats at me all week. No, not the fact that she’s virgin, the fact that it evokes emotions in me that I don’t understand. I just know that, if we cross that line, things will never be the same.
I
will never be the same. Girls come and go. Sex comes and goes, but I have a feeling I would never get enough of her. I know, somehow, she has burrowed a little tunnel into my chest, and I'm afraid of what that means.
Once I have her, something tells me I'
ll never want another man to touch her, but I also know Quincy is a relationship girl. I’ve tried the whole exclusivity thing, and it taught me a valuable lesson. For a relationship to work, it has to be a partnership. Two people have to choose to give up control, putting their own needs aside. You have to be willing to put your heart into another person’s hand and trust them with it. I just don’t think I can do that. And when I can’t, she will move on. To someone else.
I have no idea what girls think about their virginity. Believe me, I’
ve seen and heard just about everything when it comes to that. Some girls truly treasure it, locking it up tighter than Fort Knox. Others seem embarrassed by it, and they give it away to the first guy who comes along. And some girls even lie about it, using it against you, a tool to manipulate. Quincy certainly didn’t want to discuss it, so I have no idea what she’s thinking.
I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I’m a little skeptical. What virgin kisses like that? When she licked my neck, I almost exploded in my pants. Paige told me she was a virgin,
too, but it only took the first time for me to realize she was lying. I played along with it, but that’s only because I didn’t really care. The thought of anyone else touching Quince, however, drives me insane. I shake my head to erase the images racing through my mind. Why is it that I automatically see Declan, kissing her, touching her? That’s just something I can’t even think about.
That’s why I decide
d to give her space. She needs to make a decision she can live with. If I were to pressure her, we’d both end up regretting whatever happened. This is something she needs to choose on her own. It’s hard to ignore her, to pretend that I’m not affected by her. How can you pretend you don’t care when your heart is beating out of your chest, your mind is spinning, and you can’t breathe?
Of course, I see her in class. I even see her on campus a few times
during the week, walking with her head down, lost in her own world. Everything about her seems so perfect, leading me to wonder just what she has to worry about. I mean, she always seems distant, guarded even, when people are around. She's beautiful, but she doesn’t notice the looks guys give her when she walks into a room. They talk to her, but she’s oblivious to the fact that they aren’t just being nice. They're hitting on her, and she has no clue. Or maybe she does, and that’s part of her game.
Honestly, I’m
just glad it’s Friday because I don’t think I can stay away from her much longer. Her presence is overshadowed by the sound of a ticking clock. Every minute I’m not with her is a minute she could be with someone else.
As soon as she walks into Players’, she looks for me. When our eyes meet, I know her answer. She doesn’t have to say a word.
Her lips part as she inhales sharply, her breath catching in her throat. There is a buzz of energy around us, and I can almost hear it crackling in the air. I don’t dare look away, don’t want to give her the chance to change her mind.
Throughout the night, I have to remind myself that we
are at work. Otherwise, I might jump over the bar and drag her out of here. At the end of my shift, I throw down my bar towel and search for her. I find her at a work station, cashing out her last table. She has her back to me, making it easier to ambush her. Leaning over her shoulder, close to her ear, I ask, “So, what’s it gonna be Quince? Are you leaving here with me?” Her back straightens, but she doesn’t turn around.
“Brody, you haven’t even talked to me this week. I mean, what am I supposed to think?”
She's so damn cute when she’s trying to be mad. I put my finger under her chin, turning her face to mine. She looks anywhere but at me, until she apparently finds something interesting on the floor.
“I was giving you a chance to think about it. I don’t want to pressure you into anything. When you are with me, I want it to be your choice. I want to know that you want this as much as I do.”
And
I want you to choose me.
“I brought my things with me. Just let me know when you’re ready.”
For a minute, I can’t say anything, the words stuck in my throat.
Did she just say ‘yes’?
Finally, I find my voice.
“I’m ready when you are. Devin is closing the bar for me.” She still won’t meet my eyes. Reaching out, I gently turn her to face me. I bend my knees a little, so that we are eye to eye. “Are you sure about this? No matter what, you don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable this weekend.” I could get lost in her.
“Let’s just go, Brody.”
She sighs loudly, relaxing her shoulders. “Are we driving separately?” No way in hell I’m going to let her drive in the mountains after working all night. But I can’t just say that. I have to make it look like she actually has a choice.
“I thought I would drive. You look tired, and it’s already past midnight. We can leave your car here
.” I'm relieved when she doesn’t put up a fight. She usually thinks too much, makes everything so damn complicated when it shouldn’t be. I get the feeling that if she had a chance, she’d run from me. “I hoped you’d say yes. I thought about this all week.” Goosebumps appear on her neck where my breath skims her skin. She either likes dirty talk or she likes having me this close to her. Maybe I’ll get to find out which one it is.
Just as we turn toward the
backdoor, Alex steps between us. “What are you doing, Brody? She’s not one of your bar flies.” Alex is like my guilty conscience – she is relentless.
“Alex, this is none of your business. Quincy can make her own decisions, and I have no intentions of hurting her. In fact, I have a feeling it might be the other way around. So if you’ll get out of our way…”
My eyes never leave hers. I hope she gets what I’m saying.
Quincy doesn’t say a word during the entire exchange, and I’m pretty certain she couldn’t if she tried. Alex is stunned into silence, her jaw practically on the ground. She’s still gaw
king after us when we walk by her and out the back door.
After
helping Quincy transfer her bags from her car to mine, I jog around the Jeep and hop in. My heart skips a beat, and my whole body comes alive with anticipation. I can’t believe she’s actually going through with it. Grabbing a baseball cap out of the glove box, I turn it backwards and slide it on my head. I flash my sexiest grin at her and start the Jeep. As we drive into the night, the darkness and the hot, summer air surround us. I feel like we’re the only two people in the world.
A few minutes into the drive, Quincy becomes very quiet. When I look over at her, I almost drive off the road.
Her legs are curled up in the seat with her arms wrapped around them, her head resting against the window. She's asleep. It’s quite possibly the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.
It takes everything I have to watch the road and keep my hand
s to myself. The fact that she's comfortable enough to fall asleep with me tells me that she trusts me. I don’t want to do anything to change that. The thing is, I’m not sure she trusts herself.
Turning down the road to the cabin, I drive slowly, trying not to jostle her awake. It’s almost impossible to do in a Jeep, but when I pull
up in front of the cabin, she's still sleeping. Her tilted head exposes the skin of her neck, and her eyelashes lightly kiss her cheeks.
I turn to her, my eyes drinking her in.
Of course, she looks hot as hell, but there is a vulnerability about her that stabs at my chest. I feel an overwhelming urge to protect her, and I have no idea why. Yeah, I know she's kind of shy, but she's never had a problem putting me in my place. Sometimes, though, she just checks out. She gets a faraway look on her face, and she looks so damn fragile. Then, in an instant, she pulls it together, a look of resolve on her face as she stands a little taller. No, she's not weak. She's probably one of the strongest people I know. I just don't know what sends her to that place... or what pulls her out of it.
I get out and walk up the steps to the cabin. After
I unlock the door and sling it open, I return to the Jeep to retrieve my precious cargo. I gently open the passenger door so I don't wake her. Sliding my arms around her back and under her knees, I cradle her against me. When her head rests on my chest, I look down into her face, barely visible in the pale moonlight, and decide right then and there that I'm the luckiest sonofabitch alive.
As I walk up th
e stairs, her eyes flutter open, and I whisper, “Shhhhh. It’s Ok. I’ve got you.” She relaxes against me, wrapping her arm around my neck. My breathing becomes uneven as my body responds to her. Such an innocent touch that makes me think very dirty thoughts. There’s no way I’m touching her tonight, but I’ll be damned if she isn’t sleeping in my room. I brought her here for this one thing. Even if I don’t get to touch her, I want to see her in my bed again. I’ve been thinking about that all week, not sure what I would do if she said no. But here I am, carrying my girl upstairs.
Kicking
the sheets back with my foot, I lay her down as smoothly as I can. She turns over and whispers my name before rolling into a ball with her hands tucked under her cheek.
Holy shit.
I stand and watch as her breathing becomes even, her hair fanned out across my pillow. It takes everything I have to walk away. This isn’t how I planned for the night to go. She's just so damn cute that I can’t wake her up, and I know she needs time. I have no idea how I know that, but it’s the same thing that tells me she will run if I push her.
I have a flash of brilliance. I don’t have many when it comes to girls, never needed them, but I think I might need one now. Instead of using this weekend to take what I want,
I will let her give it to me. We can start in the morning at breakfast. The closest overnight store is thirty minutes away, but I jump in the Jeep and head out. I’m going to do this right. A bit overboard, but I said I wanted to have to work for it, right?
I quickly pick up the groceries
so I can get back to her. It’s late, and I don’t want her to wake up looking for me. Besides, I can’t wait to crawl into bed beside her, to feel her warm body against mine. I make the drive back in twenty minutes.
After
I unload the groceries, I head upstairs to take a shower. The bathroom is warm and humid with steam, and a wet towel hangs on the rack. It turns me on to think about Quincy in my shower, using my things.
Who am I kidding?
Everything that girl does turns me on.
After showering, I pull on my boxers and stand beside the bed. I can barely see her as I pull back the blanket and slide in next to her. It reminds me of the last time I found her sleeping here
, when she wasn’t supposed to be in my bed. Except this time, she’s right where she belongs.
I can’t resist curling in behind her, wrapping my arm around her
waist with my hand resting on her stomach. Burrowing my head into the back of her neck, I inhale deeply, and she smells like…. me. It’s sexy as hell that she used my body wash, but it’s not vanilla. I like vanilla.
My last thought before I drift away is that she feels so right in my arms.
I dream of falling. I was on a cliff, and I’m suddenly falling. No, not falling. I jumped.
The moment when you realize you are about to walk over the ledge, you know there is no going back, but you jump, without hesitation, into the darkness anyway... that’s crazy scary. Maybe you do it to spite fate for putting you there. Maybe you do it because you have no choice, knowing that if you ignore the pull, you will lose a part of your very soul. Maybe you do it because you’re just a selfish bastard. So
, I jump. I jump as high and far as I can, praying that I land gently on something worth fighting for.