Authors: Sydney Lane
Chapter 24
I don’t have to work on Monday, but a bunch of the guys want to go play pool at Players’. Since I know Quince is working, I think it’s a terrible idea. Not only am I still pissed about her rendezvous with Declan last night, I want her more than ever before. I have control, but I don’t know if I have
that
kind of control. How can I look at her, be that close to her all night without reacting?
But I don’t listen to caution
, and I rarely do the right thing. When the guys all load up to go, I jump in the car with Seth. He has no idea Quincy will be working, and I don’t bother telling him. The less he knows, the better off we’ll be.
The club is slightly crowded for a Monday night, but it’s a holiday. A lot of other people must have had the same idea. Devin and Alex are working, so we don’t have a problem getting served.
We all place bets and select our partners, pairing off at the pool tables.
There’s not a damn thing I can do when she walks in the room. Making my exit in the middle of a game of pool would be asking for trouble, but she’s there. Her eyes burn into the back of my head.
Seth walks close to me, shaking his head and chanting, “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” That’s my first clue that he has spotted Quincy. She’s not being so discreet, and I know anyone with half a brain could see what’s going on. I guess I should just be grateful f
or the alcohol-infused underachievers surrounding me.
I lean against th
e wall, waiting for Seth to line up his shot. He’s showing off for Corrine and her friends, flexing his muscles and puffing out his chest. She shakes her head, laughing, as she joins me against the wall.
“Now you’ve done it! He’s going to strut around here all night, trying to show you how great he is!”
She shrugs her shoulders, watching as he sinks the solid red ball, effortlessly, into the corner pocket.
“
Oh, it’ll take more than that to impress me.” Seth lines up another shot and misses. Corrine walks toward him, to console him I presume, and throws a wink at me over her shoulder. I have no idea what’s going on with those two, but I got my own shit to worry about right now.
Speaking of. As I lean down to take a shot, my eyes meet Quincy’s.
Bent over the table, I imagine Quincy underneath me.
Shit.
I have got to stop thinking like that. I’m not sure I can help it. Isn’t there a study that says men think of sex every three minutes or something ridiculous? I’m here to say it’s the truth. Any man who says he doesn’t… well, he’s a lying bastard or something’s wrong with him.
I’m going to be walking around sporting wood all night with her this close to me. No, not close. She hasn’t been near me all night
, but I’ve felt her presence. She watches me when she thinks I’m not looking. I stalk her when she isn’t looking. She runs. I back away. Two people running in opposite directions. Yet, somehow, we end up closer together.
My eyes follow her down the hall to the employee dressing room. I suddenly remember needing something out of my locker. When she pushes the door open, I catch it behind her, following her into the dark room.
The door slams shut, and I reach for her arm. She spins around, and before she has a chance to speak, my lips crash down on hers, exploring, tasting, needing this.
Mine.
I can’t imagine her being with anyone else.
But she was.
Last night.
I tear my mouth from hers, pushing her away.
“
Fuck! You’re driving me crazy! I’m trying to do this the right way, and everything just goes to hell when I see you. All fucking night, I couldn’t think of anything but the way you felt underneath me.” I take a deep breath and release it, running my fingers through my hair. “But it feels wrong, Quince. You know why? It feels wrong because there were three people in that bed.” Guilt and doubt, the emotions I don’t deal well with.
“No, Brody. It feels wrong because you left me and ran straight to another girl! That’s what feels wrong!”
Her eyes are wet with unshed tears. I can tell she really believes this shit.
“What are you talking about? Since I laid eyes on you, I haven’t touched anyone else. And believe me, I tried. But when I clos
ed my eyes, all I saw was you.” I’m prepared to fight. I’m prepared to walk away. However, I'm not prepared for the pain in her eyes, the wounded look on her face. We’re both breathing hard, chests heaving with emotion. Pulling her to me, I wrap my arms around her, her cheek resting on my chest. She feels so small and fragile against me. “What have you done to me?” My chest feels as if a bomb went off inside. I came in here to confront her, but now I’m comforting her. This is so screwed up.
“Brody, I just don’t know what you want. Am I supposed to be at your beck and call while you sleep ar
ound and do whatever you want?” Her voice wavers, and her body trembles against me. “I mean, you say you don’t want a relationship, but you don’t want me to see anyone else.”
“Baby, I said a lot of things before I met you. I don’t
do relationships.” Running my finger across her bottom lip, I feel the earth shudder under my feet. As I hold her in my arms, I realize that I want so much more than her body. I want all of her. “But you make me want to try,” I whisper. I don’t have the balls to say it out loud.
“What do you want me to do? Declan is my friend, and I don’t want to hurt him. I told him I am talking to someone else. It’s not like I can tell him it’s
you.
Just give me some time to figure it out. I just need some time, Brody.” Sure, her words make sense, but I would tell him if she’d let me. I know he would be hurt and things might never be the same again, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take. It, however, requires a decision on her end. It’s something
she
has to do.
“I’m afraid to
ask you to choose, Quince.” I know I could ask her, force her to make a choice, but deep down, I know I might lose. I’m fighting for my heart here, and I may fail with miserable defeat. “I’m afraid you won’t choose me.”
I pull back, searching her eyes, hoping to find a sign, anything to tell me she’s feeling this thing between us.
All I find is more questions. For the second time in my life, someone else is making my decisions for me. She is in control, and I am powerless. I promised myself I would never allow this to happen again, yet, here I stand.
What an idiot.
Running
my fingers through her hair, the strands like silk between my fingers, I breathe in the vanilla scent that haunts me at night. I drink her in, hoping to imprint this moment in my mind forever. When I walk out of the room, I feel as if we just said our goodbyes.
Chapter 25
Eric and Declan asked me to meet them in the library to study for a psych test. I haven’t studied at
all, but I’m not really concerned about it. I have too many other things on my mind right now, like a certain girl and my total douchebagedness. The guys are already talking about their weekends when I walk in.
“
So, you spent the whole weekend with Jenna?” Declan chides Eric. He’s trying hard to hide his smile, but his damn dimples give him away.
“Yes, I did.” Eric
lifts his chin defiantly. He’s preparing himself for the shit coming his way.
“Was it a
tempting
weekend? You know, spending every night with her under the same roof?” I take a seat at the table, a spectator of their antics. Is it so wrong to enjoy your friend’s discomfort?
“Yes, it was. It was very tempting, but not enough to give up my guitar.” He grins, cupping his chin, with one finger rubbing his bottom lip. I’m beginning to think this sorry bastard is onto something. The bet said he had to go without sex, but it didn’t say anything about foreplay or any other erotic act. Realization dawns on me.
This fucker is playing us.
“I’ll get the guitar because I’m not giving up $500.” Declan is confident that Eric will cross the line. Until a few minutes ago, I was too. Now, I’m not so sure.
“So, where the hell did you disappear to? I was at the house all weekend by myself.” I quickly look at Declan as he turns the conversation to me. He's watching me, and I become sure he knows something. He’s acting too serious. No, maybe that’s guilt. Maybe it’s my own paranoia creeping into the light, leaving me feeling exposed. Start with the truth. I clear my throat and try to keep my voice even.
“I went to the cabin, did some hiking, came back last night. Nothing much.”
I screwed the girl you like.
“Yeah. Sorry I skipped
out on you last night. I went over to watch a movie with Quincy.” I choke, coughing into my hand, and he turns to Eric. “Hey, do you know where Quincy went since you were with Jenna?” I swear my heart stops beating for a brief moment in time.
“Jenna sa
id she thought she stayed here. Why?” Eric is so wrapped up in Jenna that he doesn’t have a clue what’s going on around him.
“No reason. I just didn’t hear from her like I usually do
, and when I went over last night, she didn’t seem like herself.” He shrugs. “Is she seeing anyone back home?” It’s hard to sit still when every nerve in your body says you should jump up and run. Eric looks up from his book, watching Declan.
“I don’t think so. Jenna says she never wants to go to Collier anymore. What makes you ask?”
“Hard to explain, but sometimes, she just zones out on m, and one night, when I asked if she wanted to get more serious, she said she was sort of seeing someone else. I’m just confused because she's always with Jenna or us. Who could she be dating?” So, ok. I thought sneaking around with Quincy would be easy. What I didn’t consider was Declan’s feelings, my reaction to his feelings to be more specific. And did he say she told him she's dating someone? For the two seconds I felt miserable, I instantly feel better. These words make me happier than anything in this world. She told him. She really did. I want to smile. I know it’s fucked up, but damn, I’m over the moon right now.
She told him.
I look away, unable to meet his eyes. It’s one thing to lie, but it’s another thing to look him straight in the eye and do it. I can’t do it. I think I might have a heart attack. Thankfully, no one notices me. You know, the one over here sweating his balls off.
“Jenna doesn’t talk
a great deal about Quincy’s private life, but I know she’s had a rough life and doesn’t date much. I haven’t heard about any other guy,” Eric says. Declan seems to ponder Eric’s words.
“Maybe she lied. Maybe she just didn’t want to hurt my feelings when I asked her out so she used it as an excuse.” Again, I get a twinge of guilt. If there’s anything wrong with anyone, it’s me. I’m the one she should be running from.
Thankfully, Eric interrupts my thoughts and saves me.
“
Man, I know she likes you. No worries.” Declan suddenly smiles, and I hate what it might mean.
I
interrupt their conversation, desperate to change the subject “Hey, we got this test in an hour. We better get started.” That’s all it takes for the topic to be abandoned, easily forgotten. For now.
When we finish, I head to the cafeteria to grab a drink, and the guys go ahead of me.
I walk into class late, finding Declan and Quincy already seated. I have a decision to make.
She had sex with me. She told him she’s seeing someone else.
She’s right. We can’t just spring it on him. But I can be her friend. I can sit by her. Right?
Wrong.
As I start up the stairs, my eyes land on Quincy. A slight shake of the head is all it takes. It speaks volumes.
“Don’t sit here,”
it says.
“Please,”
her eyes beg. I veer to my right, sitting by Eric instead. I’m pissed. I don’t get this girl at all. What am I? Her dirty little secret?
After c
lass, I try to hang back to talk to her, except Eric ruins my plans when he asks if he can talk to her about Jenna. Man, that’s all he thinks about. I resign myself to catching her later, that is, unless the top of my head blows off first.
I’m standing in the courtyard when I se
e Quincy, lost in thought, come around the corner. Declan runs out behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and swinging her legs in the air. After a second of fright, she recognizes him. Her laugh drifts through the air, reaching me, even where I stand. Her face is transformed by a beautiful smile, and her eyes are bright with genuine laughter. She's relaxed. She trusts him, and she smiles a smile reserved just for him.
She never smiles like that for me.
It’s like a train wreck. You don’t want to watch, witness the devastation, but you can’t turn your head. I watch their light banter, wishing it was me, wishing I could steal those precious moments for myself. When her eyes meet mine, the smile freezes on her face. Stuck. Fake. No longer his.
Declan notices. He follows her line of vision straight to me. I avert my eyes for a moment, breaking the tension in the air.
Quincy says something to him, and they race for the building. She makes it to the door first, and they rush through, giggling, away from me. I’m still standing here, staring at the door, when I notice a girl determinately walking my way.
Jenna is both beautiful and terrifying. When she turns her blue eyes to me, I jump to attention. This girl will either be my biggest ally or my
fiercest enemy. I would do good to remember that because I have no idea where I really stand with her. She wants what's best for Quincy, and I want what's best for Quincy. We should be on the same page, but I somehow doubt we are.
"So, what is it with you, Brody?"
Her eyes are glacial, her voice frosty.
"Jenna, I'm trying here." I can tell she's already reached her verdict. I never even had
the chance to defend myself.
"Trying?" Her voice rise as her eyes widen. "Is that what you call it? Jumping out of bed with her and straight into bed with
someone else. That's trying?"
Oh, geez. Not her, too.
"I have no idea what you're talking about. She accused me of the same thing, but I haven't thought of anyone but her since we were together. I'm trying to change here, but she's the one running back and forth between him and me. I’m not even sure I can be what she needs." I quickly glance around us, hoping no one is hearing this fucked conversati
on.
"She's not running anywhere, Brody. She's scared shitless, and she's confused. Just because she isn't
running to you, doesn't mean she isn't slowly gaining the courage to walk your way."
"I'm waiting." Two words. They mean a lot. I've never wa
ited for anything in my life.
"You better hope you're telling the truth
because I may be known for passing out rainbows and sunshine, but I will kick your ass into next week if I find out you are lying to me. You have no idea." This isn't the first time she's threatened me, but it is the first time I take her seriously.
"You'll never have to. I'll make sure of it." She nods, once, before turning and stomping away, leaving
me staring after her in awe. I'm even more stunned when she abruptly spins on her heels and marches back to me. “And just so you know. I’m not so sure you’re what she needs either, but I know you’re the one she wants.” And then she walks away for real.
I have no words for the whirlwind
that is Jenna Ryan. None.
But I hope she’s right.