Authors: Sydney Lane
“Night, Quince. Try to get some rest.”
My shirt becomes wet under her cheek, her pain finally escaping. She cries in silence, her small shoulders quaking under my hand. I offer comfort in the only way I know how, and although she's upset right now, she'll be just fine. For someone so little, she has a lot of fight in her.
Chapter 34
When I wake up, I reach for Quin
cy but only find an empty bed. I miss her warmth pressed against me. Memories from last night wash over me, and I sit up suddenly, searching for her. If she's gone, something tells me she won't be back.
I sigh in relief when I find
her. She's standing in front of the mirror, studying herself. Her eyes narrow and become wet with unshed tears. She's already beating herself up this morning, and it kills me to watch her struggle. I meant what I said. I love this girl, and I will do whatever it takes to make her happy.
I have no idea what this means for the fraternity and my brotherhood. If I think about it, it all becomes too much and stresses me out. My gaze returns to Q
uincy. The first thing I need to do is get Quincy back on track, starting right now.
"Don't torture yourself, babe." She jumps, turning her sad eyes on me.
“I told you. Declan and I are guys. We’ll work it out. He’ll get over it. We just need to give him some time.” At this point, I don't know who I'm trying to convince more. Her or me? The truth is that I don't know that he'll ever forgive either of us.
Crossing her arms over her chest, Quincy announces, "I'm not going to class today." Everything about her is daring me to challenge her. But, hell, I don't care if she goes to class or not. After that shit night, she deserves a day off.
She climbs into bed and curls up against me, and I almost ask her about coming to the cabin with my family.
Instead, I say, "Sure. I can dig not getting out of bed all day." She doesn't need any more stress this weekend, so I'll ask her again next time we go.
What starts out as a weak attempt to calm her ignites a fire deep in my groin. As my hands move over her body, caressing, touching, comforting, my intentions change. As her body awakens beneath my touch, she grows bolder, rolling over and straddling my hips. She hesitantly moves back and forth, learning how to take what she needs, as I grow hard between her legs.
“Oh, Quince, there is so much I want to show you.” She experiments, rotating her hips and leaning over to kiss me. I shiver as her lips trail over my neck and her teeth nip me. She's coming out of her shell, not only seeking, but taking what she wants.
Holding her in place, I raise my hips, grinding against her, teasing her. I reach for her shirt and drag it over her head. Her tiny excuse for panties is the only thing separating us, and I reach between us, tearing them from her body.
I'm going to owe her a few pairs of underwear if I can't get some control over myself, and hey, I don't mind doing that if I get to pick them out.
Her breasts hover over me, and I reach for them, caressing them, while she writhes above me. She lifts herself up, and I know what she's asking. Placing my hands on her hips, I hold her steady as I move my hips, pressing into her.
"God, Quince. You feel so good." She begins moving against me, and I guide her motions with my hips. Arching her back, she cries out in pleasure, and I explode inside of her.
Everything feels so good with her
. Special. Laying her head on my chest, she rests on top of me, our breaths evening out. Wetness seeps down my leg.
Oh, shit.
"Babe, we didn't use anything." I can't believe I did this to her, that I would make this mistake again after what happened with Paige.
Have I not learned anything?
A small giggle escapes her before she assures me, "
It’s Ok. I’ve been on the pill for a while because of irregular periods.” I'm glad she doesn't seem concerned because I almost had a damn stroke. I blow out a breath, sighing in relief, but it doesn't excuse my carelessness.
“Whew. That scared me for a second. I would never want to do anything to hurt you.”
Her trust in me astounds me. Everything is new to her, and even though I know I've been careful, she doesn't know that.
Jumping out of bed to get dressed, she's already forgotten about it. I volunteer to go get breakfast, knowing she won't leave my room as long as there are people there. She's already told me that she plans to go home this weekend, and although I want to beg her to stay, I know it will be good for her to get away from this mess, even if it is for just a few days.
On my way back inside the house, I check the rooms downstairs and take an inventory of who is home. Eric is out of town with Jenna, and Seth and Declan aren't here, both of their cars missing from the driveway. I had hoped the sneaking was over, but after last night, I have no idea what to expect. All I know is that Quincy and I will make it through this together. Do I worry? Sure I do, but right now, Quincy doesn't need that. What she needs is someone who can make her feel loved and secure, and I will do everything in my power to be that person.
Upstairs, I find Quincy sitting in bed, watching reality TV. I may as well confess my guilty pleasure... I love sucky reality TV. I don't know why, can't even explain it. I could waste hours watching any and all of it.
I join her in my bed, and while we eat our bagels, I can almost convince myself that everything is going to be fine. As it gets later and it's time for Quincy to go home, I can sense her anxiety level increasing with each breath she takes. When she nervously looks at the clock for the tenth time, I know it's time to go.
“Quince, stop. I checked, and he isn’t here. As a matter of fact, the house is mostly empty. We can walk out any time, and no one will see us.”
Her anxiety doesn't begin to fade until we are in my Jeep and driving away from the house. My mind searches for answers I can't produce. Maybe I'll move out of the house, get an apartment or something. I'll be leaving for medical school soon if I get accepted, and we won't have to worry about any of this then.
I need to talk to Declan. It pisses me off that he tried to make Quincy feel bad. The more I think about it, the angrier I get, but then, I try to put myself in his shoes. If Quincy were mine, and he stole my girl, I'd feel exactly like he feels now. I would have beat his ass, no questions asked. I almost wish he had hit me.
At her dorm, Quincy jumps down from the Jeep and jogs up the steps. Before she disappears through the large double doors, she turns and blows me a kiss. I pretend to catch it and lift it to my face. See what this girl is doing to me?
Back at the house, Seth's car is sitting on the curb. It looks like he parked in a hurry or while he was more than a little inebriated. That boy is going to kill himself someday, and I'm going to kick his ass if he dies on me.
His door is open, so I go in and take a seat. I avoid sitting on his bed because you never know who he's had in there.
There are clothes piled high in the corner, and his whole room stinks to high heaven. When he sees me, he shakes his head, resting his chin on his fist.
"You really did it this time, Bro." He looks at me pointedly. "Don't say I didn't tell you so, but this is so fucked up that on a scale of one to ten, it's an eleven for fuckupedness."
He's clearly drunk, and he's not on my side. This is what I've resorted to, sitting in the nastiest room of the house, smelling what I'm sure are his feet, and taking advice from Seth.
"What should I do, man
? Am I going to get blackballed or what?"
"I know you
think I don't know anything, and I've never had a girlfriend, but I will give you the best advice I can." He smirks, and I know I'm either going to love what he has to say or I'll hate it. "I know you care about her, dude. There is no point in trying to hide it because anybody with half a brain can see it. Man, I'd do anything to have a girl look at me just once the way she looks at you. What you did sucked, and you'll have to face the consequences soon enough. Just don't let one bad decision ruin the rest of your life. No one can be in charge of your happiness but you, and you can only take control once you let go of the bullshit." Suddenly, he doesn't seem so trashed anymore. "It doesn't mean I'm on your side, but I'd go get my girl if I were you." A little alcohol never hurt anybody, right?
As I'm leaving his room, I stop and turn around. "Thanks for everything, but I have one thing to say to you.
" I roll my shoulders, expecting an argument. "If I ever catch you drinking and driving again, your ass is mine."
"Don't worry, B
ro. I ain't goin' anywhere." He clears his throat, that faraway look I've become familiar with in his eyes. "I'm too damn sorry to die."
Chapter 35
I've never been to Collier, but my GPS says it's only two hours away.
If you ask me, that's two hours too many. Quincy should be home, and I wish I could be there with her.
Me: Did you make it home OK?
LMP: Decided to stay here
What? She's still here in Knoxville? Fuck that. I'm going to get her.
Now
. I grab a cap and pull it down on my brow, shoving my feet into a pair of shoes. I'm already backing out of the drive when I text her. I'm not giving her a chance to back out.
Me: I'm on my way 2 get you
LMP: I'm staying in 2nite. No worries.
Me: I'm 5 min away. Meet u outside.
I don't know why, but I still can't shake the feeling that she's going to change her mind, and I'm afraid that if I give her enough time to think, she'll do just that. When I pull up in front of her dorm, I get out and lean against the Jeep to wait for her. If she puts up a fight, I'm going to throw her over my shoulder and put her in the Jeep myself.
My heart stutters when she bursts through the door, like she can't get to me quick enough. She looks around, spotting me, and runs into my arms. I allow her to take what she needs from me, holding her close while she needs it. Will I ever get used to her being my girl? Will I ever not look at her and want her with everything I have?
“Is everything Ok? Why didn’t you go home?” Don't get me wrong. I'm glad she stayed, but she's acting like something more is bothering her, and I don't just mean the Declan thing.
She shrugs her shoulders, as if to say nothing is wrong, and assures me,
“I’m fine. I just didn’t feel like going home, you know?” I really wish she would open up to me, but pushing her would only cause her withdraw even more.
“I don’t want you to be alone. Come on. Jump in.”
I reach up, palming her ass, giving her a boost into the Jeep. She's just so damn cute in her little yoga pants that I can't resist an opportunity to touch her. As soon as I turn on Neyland, her fingers tighten on her knees, and she sits straight up in the seat. Before she can protest, I tell her, “Don’t worry. They all went out to a club, and they won’t be in until late.” How fuckin' ironic. I always thought that once he knew, the lies would stop. Now, it's even worse.
“OK. Just for tonight, Brody. After tonight, no more sneaking.”
As much as I hate to, I really am going to have to move out of the house. I'll work on finding an apartment over fall break.
In my room, Quincy stretches her arms over her head, yawning, before she collapses on the end of the bed. After she chooses a movie, we lay together to watch it.
Within minutes, she snuggles into my side, using my chest as a pillow. She yawns once more before her eyes drift closed and she falls asleep. There is just something so vulnerable about her that makes me want to hold her and protect her. Always.
Turning off the TV, I wrap my body around her
s, pulling her into me. Her body fits against mine perfectly, changing me while also embracing me.
"Love you, babe
," I whisper into her hair, inhaling her scent.
Lying here
in the darkness, it's easy to convince myself that we are the only two people in the world, that no one can touch us. My last thought before I fall asleep is that things will work out. I will make sure of it.
Something wakes me up
while it's still dark outside. It takes me a minute to realize what it is. Rolling over, I fish around on the nightstand until I find Quince’s phone. It’s her mom. This can’t be good.
“Quince.” I nudge her arm, but she tries to push me away. “Baby, your phone is ringing. It’s your mom.” Suddenly awake, she sits straight up in bed.
“She’s dead.” There is no emotion in her voice, her mind in a faraway place.
What the hell?
Even though her eyes are open, I think she's still asleep, maybe talking in her sleep.
“What? Babe, I think you were dreaming. Answer your phone.” There is an emptiness in her eyes I have never seen before. She looks at me without really seeing me.
Slowly, she reaches for her phone, staring at it for a moment before finally answering. She struggles to speak, gasping for every breath she takes before forcing out one agonizing word. “Mom?” I reach for the light, afraid of what I will see. Quincy’s eyes are closed, watching her own personal hell play out behind her eyelids. “No! Please, no!” The floodgates open, large tears rolling down her face, and I wrap my arms around her. “What happened?” She stiffens before folding in on herself. She moans in pain, a primal, animalistic sound I know I will hear over and over again in my mind from this day forward.
The phone drops from her hand, and I pull her close, wrapping her tightly in my arms
, but she begins pushing me away, thrashing and fighting against me. Instinctively, I tighten my hold, but she fights harder, until I release her. I become aware of a faint buzzing noise and realize that her mother is yelling through the phone. I have no idea what to do or say, but I pick it up anyway.
“Mrs. Priest, this is Brody. I’m a friend of Quin
cy’s. What do I need to do?” I'm met with silence before I hear her gasping for breath much like Quincy.
“Brody, something bad has happened. Quincy’s sister died. Please calm her down and help her get home. We need her here.” While I try to think of something to say, the line goes quiet
, and I realize she hung up.
I lay back on the bed,
beside Quincy. She is staring, unblinking, up at the ceiling, her mind far away from here. From me.
“Quince, tell me what to do. Tell me what you need.”
“Declan.” She curls into a ball, her shoulders quaking as she sobs. Her silence pierces the darkness, that one word shattering our newfound happiness.
Pulling on a pair of shorts, I walk across the hall
. I rake my hands through my hair before knocking on Declan’s door. As he slings the door open, I can tell I'm the last person he expected it to be, confusion and anger on his face . I don’t give him a chance to speak.
“Quincy needs you i
n my room.”
“What the hell, dude? What did you do to her?” He pushes past me, running into my room. I can only watch as he pulls her into his arms, comforting my girl in a way I couldn’t do
, in a way she won't allow me to.
“Quincy, I’m here now. Talk to me. What’s wrong?” When she throws herself at him, wrapping her arms around his waist, a piece of me dies.
“Declan, she did it! Oh, my God! She did it!” She screams, crazy and wild and utterly broken. Pulling her into his arms, he gently picks her up and carries her from the room. His eyes never meet mine as he brushes past me, carrying my girl. While I'm in the dark, he appears to know exactly what's going on.
C
losing the door behind me, I lean back against it before bending over, my hands on my knees. I'm sick. There's a terrible illness spreading through my body, and I don’t know how I will ever recover. Tears begin rolling freely down my face.
I cry for Quincy, for the loss of her sister, for the total devastation I couldn’t save her from. I cry for the girl I
love, the girl I changed everything for…. I didn’t really know her at all.
Her cries, her words, echo through my head over and over, breaking me a tiny bit more every time I hear them... That's
the sound of a heart shattering into a million pieces, and I will be haunted by it for the rest of my life.