Everyone left. Aidan wondered if he was cursed to be alone even before Tala’s mother took her vengeance. He thought about his mother and how the grief had swallowed him when she died. He thought of Tala and how he dared, with the naiveté of youth, to believe that with her by his side he’d have a family.
He pictured Maggie’s belly swollen with his baby and his heart stuttered in fear. How could this have happened? True, not once had they discussed birth control, but he’d assumed she’d been taking something. She had to realize that if she was, she couldn’t see the pregnancy through. Didn’t she? Aidan suspected she didn’t. It was a horror he didn’t want to consider. He laid his head down on the desk, in the time-honored position of a man suffering.
He stayed that way for a long time. After so many years of living by the cycles of the sun and the moon, Aidan didn’t need a clock to tell him that dusk was approaching. But he glanced at it anyway, concern growing when he realized how long Maggie had been gone. He had assumed she’d driven to the diner for pie and a milkshake, her usual sulking routine, but now he wondered. He quickly dialed her cell — it rang once, twice, and then her voicemail clicked on. Shit, he thought, she bumped me.
“Maggie, it’s getting late and I’m starting to worry. Just let me know you’re okay.” He considered apologizing, but dismissed the impulse. Apologies should be made in person and should be heartfelt. While he was sorry he’d hurt her, he’d only given her the truth. As he waited for her to return his call, he ate his first solitary meal in months and wondered when the quiet had become so suffocating. He checked his phone one last time before heading out to the forest. He had a short text message waiting from Maggie that simply read, “I’m fine asshole.” He smiled despite himself and headed for the trees.
Maggie parked the truck and took her packages into the house. She hadn’t felt much like going to the diner and making small talk with her friends there, so she’d driven to the mall and indulged in shopping therapy. The freelance work she’d been doing was going well and it had been awhile since she’d splurged. She loved the few things she bought for the house, wanting to put some of herself into the masculine décor, and the few outfits she’d bought for herself, though knowing her shape would soon be changing, she didn’t go overboard in the clothes department. But her most important purchase was in her purse, wrapped in a small pharmacy bag — the home pregnancy test seemed to beat like Poe’s Tell-Tale Heart.
She knew Aidan would be gone by the time she returned and she was fine with that. He’d cut her to the quick. Though she’d only meant the proposal as a joke; his response had been lowering. But the look of disgust she’d seen transform his beautiful face into something ugly when she told him she thought she may be pregnant? That look had nearly destroyed her. She’d had to fight the urge to cry the whole drive and the personal battle had given her a headache. Something she blamed squarely on Aidan. She hadn’t expected him to be excited about the baby; she’d anticipated worry but not disgust.
In need of unconditional support, she’d called Jenna from the car. After filling her in on the phone call from Noah, to which Jenna had agreed warranted creative and painful repercussions for both Hurley and Rhoads, Maggie had launched into a full blown rant about Aidan.
“Okay so let me make sure I’ve got this straight, you asked Aidan to marry you and he spazzed?” Jenna asked, obviously amused.
“I didn’t mean it; I was only playing.”
“You don’t want to marry him then?”
“Well of course I do, I love him; but I wasn’t actually proposing, Jen. I just appreciated that he understood me so well and, shit, it was supposed to be cute.”
“Oh I’m sure he thought it was charming.” This time Jenna outright laughed.
“It’s not funny.”
“Sweetie, I get that your feelings are hurt, I do. And I’m sorry I’m laughing. But come on, he has a penis that pretty much guarantees a-deer-in-the-headlights reaction to the marriage topic. You have to let them think it was their idea; otherwise they panic.”
“Yeah well the whole goddamn thing snowballed from bad to catastrophic.” Maggie licked her lips. “Even though I was only joking, his negative response got me going, and I asked some serious questions he wasn’t prepared to answer. Which hurt my feelings even more and that really pissed me off. And then I kind of blurted out that I think I might be pregnant.”
“Oh. Wow. How’d he take that?”
“I did it on my way out the door, which I admit was shitty. But based solely on his facial expression, I’d say ‘not pleased’ would be the understatement of the century.” Maggie said miserably. “In fact, he looked more impressed with my marriage proposal.”
“Are you sure you’re pregnant?”
“Pretty sure, yeah, but I haven’t taken a test yet.”
“How do you feel about it?” Maggie thought about Jenna’s question. How did she feel about becoming a mother? Maggie smiled.
“Happy. I know it wasn’t how I’d planned it but I want this.”
“Then I’m happy for you, sweetie. Wow, a baby. I’m going to be an auntie! I’ll spoil the nugget rotten.” Maggie could hear Jenna’s smile over the phone. “If Aidan’s really ‘the one’, then give him time to catch up to you, Mags. Guys aren’t as adaptable as women are and from what you’ve told me about Aidan he sounds even less agreeable to change than most.”
“You think?”
“Hell, no. I want you on the first flight back to Philly; I miss you like crazy.” Both women laughed. “Maggie, if being with Aidan is what’s going to make you happy then that is what I want for you. I just want you to be happy. You get what I’m not saying?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you know what you’ll do if you are pregnant and Aidan doesn’t come around?”
“I’ll raise the baby alone.” Maggie had answered softly and her heart broke a little at the idea of it, both then and now. If she was pregnant, she wanted her child to be brought up and loved by both his parents, something she’d never known. But she would do what needed to be done to see her child happy and healthy, either way. She loved him already.
Satisfied with her purchases and her decisions, she made herself something to eat and stared at the pharmacy bag sitting on the counter.
Really, I’m only a little late; I could be jumping the gun here, getting all worked up over nothing.
She thought of the condoms she’d purchased, also in the bag, that would be useless if the test was positive. If this turned out to be a false alarm, Aidan’s reaction clearly said they’d need to add birth control to their sex life. He obviously didn’t want children. With her.
She knew it was unfair to think that way, to compare her child, one she wasn’t even sure she was pregnant with yet, to Tala’s. But it was hard not to feel slighted. He’d rushed across the country to be by Tala’s side, and Maggie got a look of horrified disgust. Maggie itched to take the test now, but she knew from being supportive of her girlfriends in college, her morning’s first void would get the best result. She’d have to wait. In the meantime, she was going for a walk.
As soon as Maggie entered the woods, she could sense Gealach nearby. He’d been waiting for her, she was sure of it, prompted by Aidan’s worry. Sure enough he was by her side, butting her hand with his nose as soon as the forest had closed around her. She knelt and rubbed her cheek against his soft fur.
“I missed you, too,” she told him and burst into tears. Gealach whined and wiggled loose of her hold to lick at her tears. She wanted to unload her fears and her hurt on the wolf — he’d become a confidant to her over the months — but she knew Aidan was in there, listening, and she was still angry with him, still hurt. Regardless, Maggie didn’t want to use Gealach as a way to say her piece without allowing Aidan a chance to argue his side. She simply cried until there were no more tears, leaning on Gealach for support, and when she had nothing left to shed, stood and went for a walk through the night, the wolf by her side.
Maggie talked of little things, the progress on her novel, the most recent article she’d sold, the search to find a sublet for her apartment, and so on. She told him she hadn’t realized until earlier today how much she missed seeing Jenna and her family. That she hoped to visit Mrs. O’Connell again while the older woman’s health was still good.
“Oh, Gealach, you and Aidan would love the hills and meadows there. Everything was so green and it felt old and magical. Definitely brought out the Irish in me. Hence the tattoo.” Gealach chuckled softly in that way of his, and Maggie knew Aidan was in the forefront.
He’d explained to her, when she’d gotten around to confronting him about the pissing episode, that he often retreated to his own place within Gealach’s consciousness, allowing the wolf to have his own time. Though Aidan enjoyed the thrill of hunting, actually bringing down and then consuming raw animals was not something he relished. Over the years, he’d developed a way of stepping back, letting his mind wander to other things. The way he described it sounded like the Savasana in yoga, always her favorite part.
“Aidan, I’m not ready to talk to you yet and you know it. Give yourself a break and stop cheating.” She couldn’t be sure if he’d done as she asked, but she continued talking to Gealach as though he had. She’d missed this part of her daily routine, the soothing walk through the dark quiet, the gentle beast by her side. She hadn’t noticed how far from their meadow she’d gone until she saw the stream glinting in the moonlight through the trees. “Wow, we’re almost to the cabin, aren’t we?”
Suddenly weary, Maggie sat down on the stump of a felled tree. Gealach’s ears perked up and she patted his side. “Go ahead and chase whatever you just smelled. I’ll wait here for you and we’ll walk back together.” The animal hesitated and she guessed his reluctance to leave her alone stemmed from her encounter with the drunken Mikey and his buddy. “I’ll be fine, go play a little.”
Gealach bolted into the brush and Maggie smiled as she heard his prey take off through the leaves. She didn’t like to think about what he would do with whatever cute and furry thing he was chasing if he caught it. He’d never brought her back anything dead and he’d never returned to her soaked in the blood of another animal, so she was content to ignore the life or death aspect and focus on the game she imagined Gealach was enjoying.
She thought about the baby that might be inside her right now, her hand splayed over her currently flat belly, and wondered if Gealach could sense if she was breeding or not. She pictured life after the baby was born, Aidan as a father, Gealach as a guardian. They’d both die to protect her and the babe. That she was sure of. A woman couldn’t ask for more from a mate. She heard him returning, sooner than she’d expected, and turned toward the bushes.
“Did it get away from you?” The smile on her face faded as a thin, scraggly black wolf stalked out of the tall grass. His teeth were bared, spittle dripping from his muzzle, and his eyes were feral. Knowing it would sense her fear, she tried to remain calm, but when two additional hungry wolves parted the weeds, panic seized her. A pack, a hungry pack at that, had followed her scent here. Not unlike what Gealach was doing, tracking some small woodland critter. But she couldn’t pretend they were out for sport, though she thought they’d enjoy the chase just as much. Maybe more.
Maggie stood slowly and the leader snapped his jaws at her in warning. Instinctually, Maggie wrapped both arms around her abdomen, wanting to protect the child that could be nestled within and she screamed, “Gealach!” as loudly as she could. She heard him before she saw him, not taking her eyes off the small pack that was closing in on her, and he skidded to a stop between her and the leader.
His hackles were raised and his lips pulled back showing razor sharp teeth as he growled and snapped at the approaching threats. The smallest of the trio attacked first, launching himself at Gealach’s flank. He deflected the move, biting off a small chunk of the animal’s shoulder. Maggie saw the second sneaking in on Gealach’s unprotected side. She grabbed a large branch and swung with all her might. She hit it under the jaw, and the loud crack of breaking bone and splintering wood made her wince; the spray of warm blood over her clothes and face left her gasping and trying desperately not to vomit. It fell dead to the ground and Maggie couldn’t help but stare at the lifeless body.
Gealach howled and she turned toward him, watching for a second as he battled the two remaining wolves. He was covered in blood and she had no way of knowing if or how badly he was hurt. She screamed, hurling the branch at the leader. It bounced off his back and it turned hungry eyes on her. He lowered his body into a crouch and, anticipating the pounce that was to come, Maggie looked around frantically for another weapon. He leapt, but Gealach met him in the air, butting him with his large head. The wolf fell to the side, smacking a tree trunk and sliding to the ground stunned but alive.
Gealach pushed his bloody muzzle against Maggie, hard, pointing her toward the cabin, the nearest shelter. She turned toward the stream and the safety just beyond, stumbling down the short hill. When she fell into the water, she looked around and realized Gealach had not followed. She could hear snapping and snarling from above her, but it seemed to be getting further from her and Maggie understood Gealach was leading the animal away.
She looked down at herself, covered in blood and mud, realized she had killed an animal simply for following its instincts, and threw up on the mossy bank. Her fear for Gealach and Aidan was intense, but she needed to get the blood off of her. Maggie moved further into the icy cold water and began stripping off her ruined clothes. She splashed herself over and over with the stream water, unsure in the moonlight if the water was clear, if she was clean.
She heard a wolf bay at the moon and knew it was her Gealach. Eyes scanning the horizon, she searched for him until finally she saw his coat and the moonlight glistening off it. Gealach ran to her, his pelt covered in blood, and Maggie quickly cleaned him in the cold water. She had the oddest sense of déjà vu but she shook it off, desperate to see how badly he was hurt. The bulk of the gore wasn’t his, but he was injured. There were several deep, nasty bites marring his perfect coat.