Fever (19 page)

There was Patricia Tiernan, who’d never liked Mary. Ever since Mary came back Patricia seemed shocked to see her making her way up the stairs. “Oh, hi, Mary,” Jimmy Tiernan said to her as they passed one evening, and just like in the old days Patricia appeared on the landing above them and looked as if she would choke him with her mind if she had the power.

As for Fran, the first time Mary saw her after returning to the building, her old friend was cool. She returned Mary’s greeting, and then continued up the stairs while Mary looked after her, feeling like she’d been slapped. After a few days, Mary worked up the courage to knock on her door. “Please, Fran, can’t I come in?” It might have been the “please” that melted the frost. Fran opened the door and Mary took her usual chair while Fran hunted for something sweet for them to eat.

“Why didn’t you come see us, Mary? I was sick when they sent you back to North Brother after the hearing. We had no idea you were released, and then Joan said she ran into you on the street. You could have stayed here. Why didn’t you just ask? You didn’t have to go to a boardinghouse. You didn’t have to go up there and pay Mrs. Borriello for a corner of her kitchen. I don’t even understand what happened.”

“I don’t know,” Mary said, and it was true: now that she was sitting there, looking at her old friend, she couldn’t remember why she let it go so long. “Why didn’t you come to my hearing if you were following the case? Alfred was there. And I didn’t hear from you after, either.” She could see on Fran’s face that it had never occurred to her, and Mary never expected Fran to give up an entire day sitting in a stuffy courtroom, but it was the only way to get past these small hurts—to answer with another hurt. You’ve been injured? Well, so have I.

“I didn’t know I could have gone to the hearing. I thought it was just lawyers and reporters. And you know I’m not a good writer. Sure, Robert said he’d take down a letter for me, but you know how that goes. You could have written to me more often, too.”

“You’re right, Fran. I don’t know why I said that. I’m sorry. It’s just that Alfred—”

Fran leaned forward. “I knew it was Alfred. You didn’t want to run into him here.” Fran asked her if she’d seen him in the week since she moved back.

“No,” Mary said. “Have you? Joan said he does odd jobs for Driscoll.”

“I haven’t seen him either. Sometimes he’s here a lot in a given week, and then not for a few weeks. And I think he tries his best to avoid me and Joan.”

Though Mary had instructed herself not to care, to try to forget about him, it was Alfred she had in her mind whenever she pushed out the building’s front door and remembered her posture, when she put a protective hand to her hair. She braced herself to see him and then when a few days went by and she didn’t see him, she realized she was disappointed.

“So tell me everything,” Fran said. “Start from the beginning.” As their coffee went cold, Mary described Dr. Soper, what he said about her, the day they captured her, the Willard Parker Hospital, North Brother, John Cane, the nurses and their collection canisters, Mr. O’Neill, the disappointment of the hearing and then finding out about Liza Meaney, the boy, how disorienting it was to be back in New York City without being a cook, how she feared she’d never get used to it. When she finally stopped talking, Fran was quiet for a minute and then announced that she’d like to punch that Dr. Soper in the face, and Mary laughed. Never before had she thought about Soper and laughed, and it felt, for the first time, like that terrible part of her life was truly behind her. The two women talked until the clock struck midnight and when she left, Mary knew they’d be fine.

LIBERTY

SIXTEEN

Living with Liza seemed perfect, at first. It had been years since Alfred felt what it was like to be sober and sound on his own two feet, his lungs full of air, his spine straight, his body strong. When he came home, Liza didn’t seem the least bit surprised that he’d worked all day. She didn’t make a fuss over it, like Mary used to, and with Liza he could sense no panic that he would change his mind, that the next day would see him having slipped down to the place of a man who didn’t work. He was healthy and capable and Liza didn’t watch him like Mary did. She didn’t narrow her eyes and know things the way Mary knew them, sometimes before he knew himself. When he brought her his wages, she looked at him like he’d handed her a block of solid gold, and she needed those dollars and cents. The boy ate as much as Alfred and Liza combined, and he was smart. He needed books, scratch pads, decent clothing, shoes.

But after almost ten months of the arrangement, Alfred faced what he knew all along, that Liza Meaney was not Mary Mallon, and never would be. When they made love she was dutiful and kind. She never made up an excuse, or pretended to be asleep, or told him to go fly a kite, and she looked politely away when he removed the night cap from its tin. If she’d ever seen one before she didn’t mention it, nor could he tell if she liked or disliked what they were doing. One time, to test her, he stopped abruptly, pulled away, tugged on his trousers, and told her they could do it later since she wasn’t feeling up to it, and she said that was fine, as if he’d suggested they walk north along Broadway instead of south. “Oh, well, you don’t seem fine. You seem distracted,” he said, and she didn’t argue. She just pulled her dress back over her shoulders and went about fastening the row of buttons. Another time he kept pushing, and nuzzling, and reaching under her clothes to see when she would stop him but she never stopped him, even though he knew she was tired and wanted nothing more than to sleep. He kept testing and testing and next thing he knew he was inside her with Samuel doing his homework in the next room, and only once, one single instant, when the bed creaked, did she push him away and look to the door in case Samuel might have heard.

This is how most women are, he told himself. This is how women should be, only he’d never known what a woman should be like because he’d mostly ever been with Mary, who was not a normal woman. Even the newspapers noticed it. Back when she was first captured most of the newsmen commented that she had the bearing of an Irish person, but one reporter observed that she in fact had the bearing of a man. Irish or not, he didn’t specify. It was true sometimes she stood with her legs planted wide, especially when she felt herself backed into a corner, but nothing about Mary was manly to the eye and so it must have been something else that this man had seen, a way of conducting herself, a way of glancing around a room. Fran Mosely, who saved the papers for him back then, had said she didn’t understand that one at all because who in their right mind seeing Mary’s thick mane of strawberry blond hair and slim waist would see anything other than a woman. Alfred had said, “I know what he means, I think,” and Fran had looked at him like he was the bastard she’d always suspected him to be.

Mary didn’t need the money he brought in because she had her own money, more money than he earned. He knew exactly how she felt about everything, because she told him, usually very loudly, often while banging pots and pans for emphasis. When she didn’t want him to touch her she told him to get lost, but when she did, she didn’t mind reaching for him first, coming around to his side, kissing the back of his neck and asking if he was too tired. Liza Meaney would never do that. Not in a thousand years. At first, he thought how wonderful that was. How ladylike. Liza was like a delicate bird and how much more interesting that made everything when she let him unbutton her, and how fiercely she blushed when he lifted her to sit on top of him, or whispered to her to turn around. She looked disoriented and terrified whenever he moved her to a different position, and after just a few seconds she always dove back down to the covers and to her back where she felt comfortable and safe, and he’d laugh. “Okay, okay,” he’d say, and he could see how much he’d have to show her, if she was willing to be shown, but after ten months he could see she didn’t want that. Sex for Liza Meaney would always be part of the transaction they’d agreed upon, and although she liked him, and was attracted to him—Alfred felt sure he’d be able to tell if she wasn’t—she saw sex with him the same way she saw making his breakfast, washing his clothes, having supper on the table when he got home.

They’d been engaged for six months but still weren’t married. She showed her ring to all their neighbors—a simple silver band—and maybe that’s all she’d wanted, for the world to know that she was not the kind of woman who lived with a man without a promise. At first, she said she wanted to figure a way to bring her mother from England for the ceremony, and sometimes she said she wanted to wait until the school year was over, so Samuel wouldn’t be distracted. Distracted? Alfred wanted to ask. What would be so distracting? Or for that matter, what was there to cross an ocean for? Alfred had imagined himself and Liza walking to City Hall, signing a few papers, and then going to a restaurant for supper. But he didn’t say anything, and when the weeks wore on without any letters arriving from England, without any discussion of whether they’d have a small party, he stopped worrying about it. Maybe accepting the engagement without pushing actual marriage was the small way she was asserting herself, that and making him continue with the cure, even though he felt he didn’t need it anymore.

The medicine they gave in the beginning made him sick, and he assumed that was part of it: making the patient so sick that he wouldn’t be able to hold alcohol or anything else. He was weak for two weeks, curled up in bed and vomiting into the bowl Liza gave him, and still, she came in every four hours with another dose she’d measured out into a teacup, just as the doctor had instructed. “It’s for people far worse than I am,” he’d told her when he first came back from Bellevue, where he’d gone to see what it was all about. Ads for the cure were posted all around the neighborhood, and published in big block letters in the newspapers. “I saw them. Jesus, I saw them. I’m not like that. My God, one man, he wasn’t much more than a boy, he was sweating a puddle on the floor but kept complaining of cold. I just like to have a nip now and again and if you go out and find a man who never has a nip now and then I’ll saw off my right arm.”

“You’ll go if you want to live here,” she told him simply, so he went back, and back, and soon they sent him home with directions on how to dole out the medicine and at what intervals. After a month they said he could stop taking the medicine, but to keep a supply in his old pocket flask. That he’d never had need for that flask proved he never needed the cure in the first place. It was just a matter of deciding, and he’d decided. It was a 100 percent guarantee as long as he followed the doctor’s instructions, and the doctor’s instructions were, don’t drink.

Samuel was preparing for a test that would allow him to skip two grades ahead at school and take a few courses at the community college. If he scored high enough he would go for free, except for the cost of books. They had to be very, very quiet around the flat so as not to interrupt the boy’s studies, and for the first time since he’d known her, Liza shushed him one morning when he began to ask if there was any more coffee on the stove. She shushed Alfred and cast a worried look at Samuel, who had his head bent over a mathematics book, and Alfred saw then that she’d never love him, never love any man, as much as she loved that boy.

The ice company stable did not offer overtime, and the evenings were too long between five o’clock, when his shift ended, and ten o’clock, when he went to bed. To get out of their rooms and give the boy some quiet, Alfred had started checking in with Michael Driscoll. The old man needed boards replaced on the floor, a cabinet fixed, his rotted bed carried out to the sidewalk and replaced with a new one, the plaster on the wall behind the sink touched and smoothed. “A little late for this kind of attention,” Alfred had teased the first time he went over.

“Never too late,” Driscoll had said. “I’ve my eye on a fine woman.”

“You’re joking.”

“You’ll get there. Then you’ll know. And someone else will laugh.”

Fair enough, Alfred supposed, and went on with the work he was assigned. When he finished a job, he’d let a few weeks go by and then he’d check in on the old man to see what he’d stored up for him. In the stretches when Driscoll had no work for him he hung around the stable after his shift to talk to the man who relieved him, or he walked down to the docks to watch what was being unloaded.

One evening, though he didn’t know Alfred would be stopping around, Driscoll answered the door as soon as Alfred knocked. “Well? Did you see her?” The old man asked, and looked over Alfred’s shoulder toward the empty stairwell. He coughed into his sleeve, and then rolled it up.

“Who?” Alfred asked.

“Mary. She’s out there. I was talking with her not one minute ago.”

“Mary Mallon is in this building?”

“She moved in with Mrs. Borriello a week ago. You didn’t know?” Alfred felt a tremor travel down his arms and legs, and he thought he heard a woman’s step pass in the hall. He looked hard at Driscoll’s face to make sure the old man wasn’t having him on. He’d sent a letter to her hut on North Brother a few months earlier and when she didn’t write back he figured she was still that angry with him, and had a right to be. She’d said the lawyer was optimistic. She’d said it might be only a few more months. But why would he have believed it?

“Are you serious, Driscoll?”

“I swear on my life.”

“How? When was she released? Was she looking for me? What did you talk about?”

“She was just passing through the vestibule as I was searching for my key. I said hello and so did she so then I said I was glad to see her back and she thanked me. She might still be climbing the stairs. Go on. Go after her.”

Instead, Alfred pushed past him and looked at the weeping faucet that needed to be fixed. As he took inventory of what he’d need, he felt the other man’s eyes sizing up the shape of his back, his stance, trying to read what was written there. He needed time to think. He had no idea what he’d say. Every part of his body urged him toward the door. Why was she staying with Mrs. Borriello? What was she doing now? He imagined what he’d say to her, and when he realized he couldn’t think of a place to begin, he imagined instead what she’d say to him, and knew that the first thing she’d ask was whether he was married yet to Liza Meaney, and after he said that he wasn’t, she’d ask if he was still living with her and her boy, and he’d have to say yes, and then the meeting would be over.

“I can’t come around tomorrow,” Alfred said gruffly to Driscoll once the faucet was fixed. “I’ll do the rest another time.”

“You’ll have to face her sooner or later,” Driscoll said, and Alfred had a wild impulse to shove him, to throttle him, but it passed immediately. It was himself he was angry at. No one else.

“Why do I have to?” he said, though he wanted to do more than face her. He wanted to run upstairs right that second to see her, beg her forgiveness, take her into his arms. How had it happened? How had he missed it? How could he have failed to know she was back in the city?

Alfred stayed away from 302 East Thirty-Third Street as he tried to make sense of Mary’s return. In the mornings, when he woke to Liza’s blonde curls on the pillow next to him, he thought immediately of Mary, sleeping so close to the rooms they’d shared for so many years, seemingly back in her old life except without him. “Everything all right at the stable?” Liza asked several times, and he snapped at her that it was, and tried to stay out of their rooms even more than usual. Another time she asked him if he carried his medicine with him when he went out, and he realized she thought he’d fallen off the wagon. It was true he’d gone and stood outside Nation’s Pub for the first time in months, but he hadn’t gone in, and the pull he felt from 302 East Thirty-Third was much stronger. Finally, after two weeks of turning ’round and ’round the news of Mary’s return, he finished his work at the stable and made for Driscoll’s place, to finish up the work that was there waiting for him, and to decide one way or another if he would ever go near the place again.

As he walked up Third Avenue he felt the possibility of seeing her again like a singing bird lodged in his chest, struggling to free itself. He stopped at the peanut cart on Twenty-Ninth Street to get a bag for himself and Driscoll to share, but even this was a show for her, in case she was watching, in case he should turn around and she should be standing there, half smiling, ready to say, “Well, well, well. Look who it is.”

It was the first truly bitter evening of the season, and there was no one on the stoop or in the vestibule when Alfred arrived at the building. He stood at the bottom of the silent stairwell and looked up, counting the railings to the fourth floor. When Driscoll didn’t answer his knock Alfred felt along the top of the door frame for the key that was hidden there, and let himself in. “Hello?” he called, and when he got no answer he opened the door to Driscoll’s bedroom and found him lying there, twisted up in the sheets. “Not feeling myself,” Driscoll said without looking at Alfred, and as Alfred got closer to the bed he could see that the older man was wincing, and trying to find relief from whatever was bothering him by shifting from side to side, clutching at his pillow. He coughed for several minutes. For the first time in two weeks, Alfred pushed thoughts of Mary to the side.

“What is it?” Alfred asked to the back of the man’s head, and noticed how thin Driscoll’s hair was there, how small and delicate-seeming the back of his skull was, like a smooth, hairless egg.

“Go on,” said Driscoll. “Another time.” But Alfred stood there like a boy, unsure what to do.

“I’m just feeling poorly. Come around in a few days.”