Fever (6 page)
ELLA
I drew a circle on my notepad as I listened to the professor talk through his introduction of philosophy. I had been handed so many sheets of paper this morning, I could barely keep track of them all. Assignment deadlines, course outlines, test dates — it was all shoved in my face, and I was somehow supposed to absorb it. So far, my morning had been overwhelming. Yes, I had experienced it before, but UChicago had an intensity to it that I wasn't used to.
I kept telling myself this would all be okay and not to get stressed out by the workload, but I’d have to work my ass off to keep up with all this stuff
, and unlike my boyfriend, that idea didn’t exactly thrill me. David loved studying; he loved the challenge and the mental stimulation. I, on the other hand, endured study for one reason only...I swore I'd get a degree. It was what my parents wanted me to do. We’d always talked about it and even though they weren’t around anymore, I felt like it was something I had to follow through on. But at the end of the day, it was just going to be a piece of paper with my name on it. I had no intention of doing post-grad courses. All I wanted to do was pass, and pass well. I'd flown through my community college courses, but I had a feeling this would be much tougher.
My circle grew bigger and I started adding starbursts around the edges. I always doodled when I got bored. It wasn't that philosophy
was mind-numbingly dull; I knew I'd learn a lot of cool stuff, but this was my third lecture of the day and my brain was done.
I wondered if I was taking something else whether I’d be feeling this way. How cool would it be to do something a little more entertaining...like singing, but there's no way in Hades I'd attempt that. Jody and Morgan were the only people to have ever heard me sing...and I guess shower guy.
My cheeks heated with color. I couldn't help it!
It had been so incredibly cool singing with him this morning. I hadn't felt that kind of exhilarating joy since
before my parents had passed. The all-too-familiar sadness settled on me as the professor’s words turned to fuzz, and I was exported back to 2009. Although this time the memory started a little earlier in the day. As if bursting from its hiding place, it flooded my mind with color and music.
Mom laughed, throwing her head back as Dad spun her around the living room. Their dance classes were paying off, and I smiled as I stretched my voice over the long note and then clipped it off so the music could take the lead. I shuffled from one foot to the other, clicking my fingers to the beat of “Come Fly With Me.” My parents were squeezing in one more practice before they left for class, and I happily volunteered to sing for them.
“You're next, sugar,” Dad called over Mom's shoulder, winking at me.
I laughed, excited about my turn. Dad was teaching me all the moves and I was loving it. None of my friends knew that I could dance like a dame from the 40s, but I could and I had to admit, I was getting kind of good.
I finished the song with a flourish, lifting my arm and sticking out my chin. My parents laughed, out of breath as they clapped me down from my perch on the sofa.
Mom kissed my forehead and rubbed my back. “I knew I named you after Ella for a reason. You have the voice of an angel, and you're my own little songbird.” She grinned, moving out of the way so I could step into Dad's arms.
He straightened me up, reminding me to keep my frame strong while Mom scrolled through her laptop, choosing an upbeat version of “Anything Goes.” Cole Porter was a genius.
I giggled as Dad swung me around, lifting my tiny body up so I could swing around past him. Following his lead, we skimmed across the floor as if it were made of glass. I felt like I could fly, lost in a perfect moment.
An hour later, I stood at the door waving them off, promising that I would finish my homework and get to bed on time. I closed the door as they started pulling out of the driveway and did my little alone dance before prancing into the kitchen. Pulling out the gummy bears, I snitched a handful and danced up the stairs, popping them into my mouth as I hummed “Puttin’ On The Ritz.”
I rushed through my homework, wanting to get it done so I could watch
Friday Night Lights
before bed. It was sitting on the hard drive, patiently waiting for me to catch up with the latest episode.
It was awesome and I walked up to bed a-buzz, brushing my teeth and swooning over Taylor Kitsch. Man, he was a hottie! I dreamed of him running off the football field and kissing my lips after a game as I spun my way to the bedroom and stripped off my clothes. I glanced at my clock as I snuggled under my sheets and reached for my book. My parents would be home soon, and I wanted to stay awake to hear how their class went. They loved it so much and always came home on a high.
A banging on the door jolted me awake. The book fell out of my hands and thumped on the floor. I squinted around my room, a little disoriented, and then heard the knocking again.
The door.
Who the hell was at my door?
I reached for my watch and checked the time as I shuffled down the stairs. Why wasn't Dad answering the door already? It was nearly midnight.
I fumbled down the stairs and with a sigh, shifted the curtain covering the glass so I could peek outside. My heart stopped beating. I'm sure it did, because everything in my body went numb as I breathlessly wrapped my fingers around the door handle and pulled it open.
Two officers dressed in blue towered over me, their faces grim.
“Ella Simmons?”
I nodded.
“I'm really sorry, but you're gonna need to come with us.”
“So make sure you've finished the first three readings by the time you come back here.” Professor Williams's voice jolted me out of my nightmare. I swallowed, looking at the person next to me and quickly deciphering their scribble. I jotted down what we had to get through and flipped my binder closed. My heart was hammering the way it always did after my memories took me.
Sliding the textbook over my little table, I hugged it to my chest and closed my eyes. Thank God I was about to meet David for lunch
; he always knew how to calm my rattled nerves. When I'd first moved from Washington, meeting Jody and Morgan had been a life-saver, but David had given me something the girls couldn't...a sense of security. He was so focused and knew exactly where he was going. I loved that about him. I loved that I could take his hand and follow in his wake, not having to think about my future. The fact I didn't know what I really wanted scared me, and it was easier just to go along with David's plans.
Unlike most people, new things terrified me and David never made me feel bad for that. He was always happy to take the lead and look after me. Even when he left for college and I thought I wouldn't be able to cope, I was okay. He Skyped or emailed me daily. He called me every day, just like he said he would, and every holiday, he flew home to be with me. David equaled safety, and even though moving to Chicago was unsettling—and if I was on
e-hundred-percent honest, I didn't really want to be here—I knew it was the best place for me. I belonged by David's side, and no shower man or workload was going to stop me from believing that.
Following the trail of students out the double doors, I skipped down the steps and wondered which way to turn. I knew I should have asked for directions. Everyone walking past me probably knew exactly where the big oval library was, but I was too shy...or proud. No, shy. I was definitely too embarrassed to have to ask, and so I pressed my lips together and wandered off to the right. I circled the entire humanities building, my stress increasing with each step. I finally found the backside of the library and rolled my eyes. If I'd just turned left, I would have been there in about a minute flat.
Gripping my bag strap, I walked around the edge, glancing at my watch and hoping David would forgive my lateness. I knew he hated being late, and he only had an hour to spare. I chewed on my bottom lip as I made my way around the edge and finally spotted him.
He was standing next to a tall guy with dark brown curls. Holy cow, he was beautiful. He looked like Superman.
In all seriousness. His fitted, white shirt accentuated his broad chest and muscular arms. He stood casually with his hands in his pockets, his chiseled face reminding me of a Roman aristocrat. His blue eyes scanned his surroundings as he waited for David to finish up his phone call. He spotted me walking toward him, the edge of his mouth tipping at the side. He didn't have any dimples, but his smile was to die for.
I broke eye
contact, scared I might actually drown in his blue gaze. Clearing my throat, I glanced back up in time to see him nudging David in the side. My boyfriend spun and caught sight of me approaching. Quickly ending his call, he walked toward me and flung his arm over my shoulder.
“Hey
, baby. How was your morning?” He kissed my forehead.
“Good. I didn't get lost, which was good.”
He chuckled. “Not until you were trying to find me, right?”
We came to a stop beside Superman and I winced. “Sorry for being late.”
“That's okay.” David squeezed my shoulder. “I knew you'd get a little lost.”
I tried not to let the comment bother me, but it kind of did. Especially since he said it right in front of his friend. I drew in a breath and gave them both a closed-mouth smile.
“Anyway, this is my roommate, Cole.”
I reached for his outstretched hand and shook it. His large fingers were warm and wrapped around mine in a gentle, yet confident shake. “Nice to meet you, Ella.” His voice was deep and smooth, and I couldn't help smiling.
“You too.”
He let go of my hand and I quickly reached for
David's, needing to erase the tingles buzzing over my skin. What the hell was wrong with me? First shower guy, now Cole! Why was I attracted to all these other men, when the only one I really wanted was walking right beside me?
I let their carefree chatter wash over me as we walked to the cafe, trying to keep my eyes straight ahead and not let my gaze wander to the powerful shoulders moving in my peripheral vision. I squeezed David's hand as we walked, a constant reminder that there was only one man for me.
COLE
I couldn't take my eyes off Ella. It was bad. I felt like some star-struck kid who was staring at a world-famous celebrity.
There was just something so beautiful about the way she moved and the softness of her voice. Her hazel eyes watched me carefully as I spoke
, and the questions she asked made it obvious she heard everything I said.
Pure sunshine, that was the only way to describe her smile. She'd obviously had braces as a kid, because her teeth were perfectly straight. Her angular nose had a cute point at the end. It wasn’t too long, just right for her face, and she had these gorgeous locks of mouse
-brown hair that I wanted to run my fingers through.
I didn't realize what a lucky guy David was. That photo on his bulletin board didn't do her justice, probably because there was an essence about her that could only be captured in the flesh. I averted my gaze as she looked up from her milkshake. She hadn't ordered anything to eat. She was a petite, skinny thing and looked as though she didn't eat much. Her narrow finger brushed away her milk moustache. As she spotted someone past my shoulder, her face lit with another smile that I couldn't turn away from.
“Hey.” She raised her hand with a wave and stood. I glanced behind me and noticed Morgan and her boyfriend, Brad, sauntering toward us. The guy was like a tank. I'd heard he was into the gym big time and it really showed.
I didn't see these two very often. Morgan and David weren't the best of friends, but it looked like Ella was a different story. She squeezed Morgan tight and held her at arm’s length.
“How was your morning?”
“Totally fine.” Morgan brushed her off. “I'm more interested in yours.”
“It was great.”
There was a strain in Ella's voice, and I could tell that Morgan didn't believe her. Her eyes narrowed slightly, and Ella gave her a stiff
head shake. I glanced at David to see if he was noticing this, but he was caught up shaking hands with Brad.
“Sit down. Join us.”
“Cool. Thanks.” Brad pulled out a chair and slumped down, giving Ella a little smile.
Morgan perched on her seat and waved to the waitress. The woman came over and Ella’s tall friend ordered two coffees.
“You want anything to eat, babe?” Morgan turned to her boyfriend.
“Yeah, actually
, bring me a BLT, please,” he said to the waitress.
She wrote it down and looked to Morgan. “You want anything?”
Morgan looked at Ella's milkshake and then shook her head. “No, I'm good.”
Ella touched her arm. “You should have something if you want.”
“No, it's fine, I can eat later.”
I thought it was weird. Were these two on some kind of diet or something? I wanted to ask, pry, find out everything I could about the petite brunette across from me, but it wasn't my business, so I sealed my lips and looked to the table.
Ella hadn't let David's hand go since we were introduced. She kept rubbing her thumb over his knuckles and squeezing his hand like a lifeline. It was like she was afraid to let go, and I wondered why. She seemed a timid, tentative person. There was a fragility about her that wasn't unappealing. She didn't look like the high-maintenance, possessive kind, just unsure of herself. I could understand why David was so protective of her.
If I had a girl that sweet and pretty, I'd want to protect her too.
The photograph of her tucked under David's arm came to mind again. If she was my girl, that picture would not be hidden under piles of study papers; I’d have it displayed front and center so I could look at it every time I walked into the room.
I cleared my throat, rubbing the back of my neck and reminding myself that Ella was not my girl and never would be. I wasn’t the type to muscle in on a friend's girl.
David was as loyal as they came. I would never forget the first day I got back to my room to find a new roommate setting up his stuff. I hadn't been looking forward to another shared-room experience, and I nearly moved back in with Nina and Malachi, but Nina convinced me to stay and give it one more shot.
“Dorm life can be so much fun, and you'll miss out if you live here with us.”
So, I was preparing myself for another year of loud music and sloppy living. But that wasn't the case.
“Oh hey, you must be Cole.” David brushed his hands on his jeans and reached out for a handshake.
He was a freshman, it was easy to see that, but he was onto it. His bright eyes and confident smile gave me hope as I shook his hand.
“So, what are the rules in this place? Do you have a space that's your own, or can I just kind of put my stuff where I like?”
I was taken back by the question; my last roommate was a selfish jerk.
“That room's mine.” I pointed to the left. “As long as your stuff isn't too weird then plaster it up wherever.”
“Cool. Cool. Okay, well I'm a simple guy, so I won't be putting up much.” He put his hands on his hips, hesitating, and then glanced me over and shook his head. “You know, actually before I unpack, I gotta ask... You're not one of those party animal guys
, are ya? ’Cause I'm really here to study and do well, so if we're gonna have a conflict of interest, maybe I should look at changing rooms.”
I snickered. “Nah, man. We're cool. Let me know if you need a hand with anything.” I walked toward my room, feeling a huge weight lift off my shoulders. David and I were
gonna get on just fine.
He'd become a really good friend over the two years we lived together. I was glad he was sticking around for my final year, and I really hoped my replacement would be a good match for him. David was a focused guy, and I made sure I never got in the way of his study time. He was pretty particular about it and I respected that.
Man, how was he
gonna cope having Ella here now? If she was mine, I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on one word of any textbook. If I had my way, we’d be holed up in my room for as many minutes as we could spare.
I cut the image of her lying beneath me short, hating myself for going there. She was David's, not mine! I forced a smile when she glanced my way, and I knew it was time to split.
“Well, it was really nice to see everyone again.” I stood from the table. “Ella, nice to meet you.” I held out my hand. I couldn't help it, just one last touch before I washed her from my mind.
“Same here.” She let go of David's hand to give mine a little squeeze, but it was only brief, and her hand was tucked straight back within David's before I'd even had a chance to push my chair in.
I dropped a few bills on the table next to David's plate and slapped him on the shoulder.
“I'll catch you later, man.”
“See you 'round.”
I didn't look back as I walked away. I couldn't.
Damn, why did she have to be so sweet?
This day was screwing with my head big time. What was wrong with me? My stupid chat with Nina was making me think this shit. I didn't want a relationship.
“Oh really? Then why did you just spend your entire lunch time pining for what your best friend's got?” I mumbled under my breath, shoving my hands into my pockets. What would it be like to have one hand free, clasping the fingers of some sweet girl as I walked her to her next class?
It would be damn nice.
“No it wouldn't!”
The girl beside me jolted to a stop and gave me a strange look.
“Sorry,” I muttered, forcing a smile and walking past her.
I let out a heavy sigh and took the steps two at a time, planning on cutting through the humanities building. My next class wasn't until three, which gave me an hour to walk around campus and not think of Ella.
As each minute ticked past it became more and more clear. I wanted a girl, but not just any girl, and since I couldn't have Ella, there was only one possible solution left.
I had to find my songbird.