Fever (10 page)

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

ELLA

I cut into my fish, pressing a small dollop of creamy risotto over the mouthful before consuming it. It tasted divine. I closed my eyes and relished the flavors exploding in my mouth.

“You like it, huh?”

“Yeah, it's amazing.” My eyes rounded as I looked across the table at David. He was going all out to impress me. No doubt an attempt to make up for being so busy this weekend, or maybe he was still running high after our early-morning quickie.

I glanced around the hotel restaurant. Strains of piano music wafted in from the lobby, combining with the quiet murmur of mealtime conversation. It was really nice.

Nice.

Not fun, energetic, lively.

Nice.

I took a sip of my water, trying to convince myself that I was having as much fun here as I had been at Quigg's.

I was.

This was classy and enjoyable. I didn't need to be up shaking my ass in order to have fun.

“So, I had a really good day. Our study group got through so much.” David piled his fork high and chewed around his words. “We spent the afternoon testing each other. Guess how well I did.”

His eyes were dancing.

“One hundred percent.” I grinned.

“Well, nearly. I got one question wrong, so I want to rework that section tomorrow.”

I nodded, forcing a smile. Placing my glass down, I forgot my food for a moment. “You don't worry that you're working too hard, do you?”

“Ella, there's no such thing as working too hard,” he sniggered. “If I want to get ahead, I have to earn it.”

“Yeah, but what about fun? Re-energizing with a little R and R.”

“I have fun.” He lifted his fork full of food. “I'm having fun right now.” He leaned toward me. “I had fun this morning.”

I breathed out a laugh that sounded so incredibly fake to me. He didn't seem to notice.

“And there'll be more fun coming.” He winked.

“What do you mean?” I tipped my head.

“Well, I've decided to take Mom's advice and have two twenty-first birthday parties.”

I raised my eyebrows.

“Yeah.” He grinned. “Since Luke can't make it home for Christmas, he's going to fly here for my college twenty-first party and then we can celebrate a family twenty-first in December.”

“Cool.” I nodded. “What are you thinking of doing?”

“Well, Luke's friends with the hotel manager at Hudson's. You know
, that swanky place uptown?”

I didn't, but nodded anyway
; it was just easier.

“He's booking a room for me, and we'll have a nice dinner with some champagne and cocktails. I'll invite all my UChicago friends. We'll have one or two speeches, and then I'll cut a cake
, I guess.”

“Nice.”

There was that word again.

Smoothing down my dress and rearranging my napkin, I let David's voice wash over me as he continued chatting. The conversation inevitably moved from party plans back to his awesome day. He was on fire, excited about the test on Monday. I didn't think that emotion was even possible when talking about tests of any kind.

I smiled and nodded like I always did when he chatted about this stuff. He was so enthusiastic and animated, it was easy to watch him. He was going to do so great with his life. He had it all mapped out, and I was part of that plan.

It might not be exciting, but it felt secure and comfortable, which was a good thing.

“Will you call me when you get there?” I clung to his shoulders.

The bustle of LAX blurred around me as I tried to make the moment last.

“Of course, baby.” He pulled away from me, holding me at arm's length. “You'll be by my side in no time.”

“There's no guarantee I'll even get in to UChicago next year.”

“Well, if you don't, we'll try for the year after that.”

I smiled at him. I loved the way he always sounded so confident, so sure.

“I've got a plan, Ella, and you're part of that plan, so no matter what, we're gonna make this work.”

He kissed me hard, sealing all his promises between our locked lips.

I'd believed him, waved him off with high hopes and clung to that promise ever since.

David was my security; everything I needed in life was wrapped up in his confidence...his plan. Chewing down my last piece of fish, I washed it away with lemon water and dabbed my lips with the thick, cloth napkin.

Being with David was the right move for me. Shower guy got me hot and Cole made my mouth water, but what would they ever provide for me? I had a life and a future with David.

So, why did that thought not thrill me the way it used to?

I placed my napkin on the table with a little frown, muttering a thank you to the waiter as he collected my plate.

“Do you want any dessert?”

I shook my head. I felt a little off, and I wasn't sure if it was the food or the myriad of doubts attacking me.

The check arrived and David gave it
a once-over like he always did, making sure all the details were accurate. Satisfied, he calculated a fair tip and paid accordingly.

He thanked the waiter, giving him a confident smile and turned back to me, sliding his hand across the table and over my fingers. He squeezed my wrist, his dimple appearing.

“I can't have you staying the night, because I really need to get some decent sleep for tomorrow, but do you want to end your evening in my bed?”

No.

That was my first thought.

No?

What the hell was wrong with me?

Pushing a grin over my lips, I nodded. “Of course.”

“What would I do without you, Ella? I'm the luckiest guy on this earth.”

Swallowing down my doubts, I relished the smile he shone me and rose from the table. How could I not want to be with a guy who said things like that to me?

His fingers wove between mine and we walked out of the restaurant. David hailed a taxi quickly and pulled me into his arms, kissing my hair and squeezing me to him.

He no doubt spent the taxi ride thinking about how sweet his life was, while I spent it trying to psych myself up for a sexual encounter that had my mind focused on one man and not three.

*****

“What's the matter?” David pushed back on his arms, peering down at me through the darkness.

“What?” I rubbed my hands up his bare sides, knowing the answer, but never daring to say it.

“You just didn't seem into it.”

“I was.” Not really, because I spent most of that intimate tryst trying not to imagine someone else inside me; a faceless man with a voice that did me in. “I'm sorry, I just feel a little off. My tummy is...”

David let out a sigh. “The wheat thing again?”

“Yeah, I think so.” It was actually starting to hurt, and I had a sinking feeling the next day was going to suck.

David slipped out of me, rolling onto his back and resting his arm on his forehead. “I thought you chose carefully. You need to ask and stop assuming that what you order will be gluten
-free.”

There was an edge of annoyance in his
softly-spoken words. I couldn't help wondering if it was more to do with the fact we hadn't just repeated our passionate encounter from this morning or the fact I hadn’t been more careful with my menu choice.

“I'm sorry. I didn't see anything in my meal that could have had wheat...unless the fish was coated in flour or something,” I mumbled. Damn it. It would have been that.

My stomach constricted in protest, confirming my suspicions.

I tried not to hunch over. David really hated it when I was careless on the wheat thing. Being a celiac was so annoying, and I tried really hard to never let it affect anyone around me.

In spite of his annoyance, his hand softly skimmed my belly. “You need to be more careful. I should have made you ask when you ordered.”

“I'll try to be more assertive next time.”

He flashed me an adoring grin and kissed my forehead before flopping back down beside me. “Ella Simmons. Assertive.” He shook his head with a chuckle. “Those words don't go together, baby.”

His laughter was sweet and teasing, but it still pissed me off. I hated my timidity. I wanted to be more assertive; I just didn't know how. I think David liked stepping up and playing hero, so
he was more than happy to keep me as his quiet, mousy girl.

If truth
be told, I preferred it that way, but for the first time ever I had to question if it was actually good for me.

I sat up, reaching for my underwear. “I'm pretty tired from last night. Maybe I should go.”

“What'd you do last night?” David propped himself up on his elbow.

“I went out with Morgan and Brad. Well, I met them at Quigg's, anyway.”

“Quigg's?” David flicked on the lamp. A dimple scored his cheek as he grinned at me, a little confused. “But Cole told me Chaos was playing there last night.”

“Yeah, that's why Morgan invited me.”

“But...” David snickered. “We hate loud bands like that.”

I reached for my shirt, keeping my eyes downcast as I buttoned it up. “I don't mind them...sometimes. They were really good.” Glancing up, I straightened my shirt and tried not to let David's look bother me. “What? You listen to techno. That can be loud.”

“Yeah, but only in the car. I’d never go to a concert.”

“This wasn’t a concert. It was just a band playing in a bar.” I huffed. “
Am I not allowed to like loud, rock bands?”

“No, of course not.” He reached for my hand. “I'm just surprised.”

I met his smile with one of my own, knowing that his surprise was my fault. I shrugged. “I know you're not into that kind of stuff, and I'm just as happy going to the movies with you or a nice, quiet dinner.”

“I love that we're into the same things...mostly.” He chuckled, but I know my revelation unnerved him.

Perching on the edge of the bed, I ran my hand up his arm. “It's okay for us to like different stuff too, though, isn't it?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “Just don't ask me to ever go to Quigg's on a Friday night, okay?”

“Okay.” I swallowed and looked away.

“I know I sound like an old man, but I know what I like, and I don't see any reason to put myself in a situation I won't enjoy, you know what I mean?”

“I know exactly what you mean.” My forced smile hurt as I leaned toward him for a kiss.

He let out a pleasant moan then pulled back and gently held my neck. “I love you, baby. You make me so happy.”

I grinned, my heart turned to mush by the look in his eye.

“Sleep well
. Give me a call tomorrow afternoon, when you're done.”

“Sounds good.” He kissed me again before flopping back onto his pillow to watch me leave.

I waved and closed the door behind me, walking back to my room in a heavy silence. It weighed me down, making me feel small and pathetic. I couldn't help a touch of resentment.

I did stuff for David all the time
: sat through his boring chatter about his study group, listened to his endless assignment work and his plans for our future. I went to all his debate meets at high school...and he didn't even take me to his senior prom. Instead, we went out for a quiet, romantic dinner, but...

I tutted. This was my fault. I'd never put up a fight when he'd suggested we skip prom and do something different. I was always happy to just go along with whatever he wanted. I wasn’t afraid to upset him...I didn’t think; I just wanted to make him happy. He took such good care of me that first year we were together, I felt like I owed him.

His confidence made me feel stronger, secure. I clung to that when he was away from me, learning to stand on my own two feet a little, knowing he was over here setting up our future. It seemed to drive me...until crunch time when I actually had to leave my comfort zone and follow him.

Now that I was here and with him again, it felt different. I still loved him, no question, but something inside me was changing, and I couldn't decide if that was a good thing or not.