Fever (13 page)
After carrying her to the bathroom last Sunday, I'd gone back to my room a worried wreck. David hadn't been there, so I couldn't ask him about it. Instead
, I'd spent a couple of hours researching the Internet and finding out about celiac disease. Man, it was pretty limiting when it came to the diet.
Italian was the worst
, too. What the hell was she supposed to order here?
As if hearing my thoughts, the waitress arrived with her pen and pad.
David leaned forward, a pleasant smile on his lips. “Yeah, can we grab a couple of garlic breads to start, and then I'll have the bacon and mushroom carbonara. Baby, what do you want?”
“I'll take the Greek salad
, please.”
It bugged me the way David didn't even notice her forlorn expression when she ordered. I knew he couldn't let her diet dictate every time they ate. Ella would no doubt hate that, but if it were
me, I'd have been looking up every place in Chicago that served gluten-free food and taking her there.
Why should she always be the one to compromise?
I hid my scowl behind my menu as I waited for my turn to speak. I didn't have a right to be annoyed. It was her life and she could choose to compromise as much as she wanted to. She just seemed to do it a lot...and that worried me.
ELLA
My salad arrived looking sad and pathetic next to David's amazing-smelling pasta. I turned away from it, giving Cole a secret smile as he pushed his bowl of fries a little closer to me. I nabbed one and shoved it in my mouth, feeling naughty. I didn’t know why. I wasn't breaking any laws. It actually felt quite fun and mischievous to have an inside joke going with Cole.
David was oblivious anyway. He was in the throes of a discussion with Mitch, a fellow law student, about some suit to do with music copyright.
“It is total plagiarism. They can't do it.”
“I agree, but you have to look at the other party's viewpoint.”
I held my sigh in check, diving into my salad and waiting for the conversation to become more interesting.
Cole's words were gnawing away at me. I loved his dream for the pub. The very idea of being a part of something like that thrilled me and made me wish I had dreams of my own. But I didn't. I'd never really considered what I wanted, because David had always been the answer. I wanted him and therefore I wanted his dreams, but did I really? Law hardly pressed my buttons and although I did want a family
one day, I now couldn't rid my brain of a 1950s housewife working her ass off in the kitchen while she looked after screaming toddlers and waited for her husband to get home from work.
What makes you happy?
I hated that question, because the answer should have been David. For the last three years, it had been and I despised the fact that the simple answer wasn't cutting it anymore.
Nothing in my life made my heart want to fly right out of my chest...but I did remember feeling that giddy excitement years ago. Another memory surfaced as my mind wandered back to my pubescent self, sitting at a round kitchen table.
“What are you smiling about, little miss?” Mom rubbed the back of my head as she walked past me. I was trying to do my homework but struggling with the big question.
“I'm just laughing at myself.”
“Why's that?” Mom chuckled.
“Well, for homework, we're supposed to pick a career choice and then research how to make that happen.”
“So, what's the problem?”
I giggled. “I can't decide what I want to do. I've narrowed it down to architect or interior designer or a chef, but I also think a movie producer would be pretty cool...although probably an impossible career choice. I know it's only for homework, but I find it funny, and a little bit annoying, that I want to do so many things with my life. I'm not the kid who can say, ‘I want to be this when I grow up,’ because there are just so many cool options out there.”
She smiled at me. “You don't have to settle on one thing. Plenty of people have multiple careers. I'm surprised singing diva isn't on your list.”
I grinned and then shook my head. “Singing in public? Forget about it.”
Mom chuckled. “I know what you mean, but I think you'd be good.”
“I could do back-up singer maybe, but never front and center.”
“You'll be amazing...at whatever you choose to do.”
With a blush, I shook my head. “You know, I kind of feel like it doesn't even matter what my job is. I know it's important to love your work and stuff, but to me, the most important thing is the end of my day. I want to come from whatever I'm doing and walk into a house that's full of love and laughter. I want to be with someone I can sing and dance with, someone who'll make me laugh and love me no matter how crazy I am.”
Mom's head tipped to the side, her eyes lighting with a mixture of pride and interest. “I like that you have your priorities straight.” She slipped into the chair beside mine.
“I want to be like you and Dad. I want to show my kids what it's like to live in a house of love. That's possible, right? I can get that, can't I?”
Mom's eyebrows rose and she blinked at her tears. “Life isn't always roses and cupcakes,” she whispered, reaching for my hand. “But my hope for you is that you'll meet your Prince Charming
, and he'll dance you into the sunset and give you your happily ever after.”
I grinned.
“Thanks, Mom.” I squeezed her hand and nodded. “I love you.”
“I love you too, sweetness.”
The memory turned to ash in my mind. I'd never hear her say that to me again, and it hurt every time.
She was right. Life wasn't always roses and cupcakes; sometimes it was arsenic and manure.
Dreams could be stolen in the blink of an eye. Mine were snatched from me, and I'd pretty much been too afraid to dream since then. It wasn't until David came along that I found the courage to imagine past tomorrow. I could picture myself so clearly by David's side, supporting him, being the wife he wanted me to be. That image used to bring me so much comfort. He might not dance or sing, but he was charming. I had someone. I wasn't alone
, and that was ultimately what I wanted. But as I sat there chewing on my rabbit food, I felt nothing but turmoil.
I looked up from my salad to watch Mitch's girlfriend, Charlene. She seemed right into the copyright conversation and was making intelligent comments, using terminology I didn't really know. She was a business major but obviously took a more vested interest in Mitch's study. I suddenly felt bad that I didn't do that with David and tried to catch up with what they were saying.
“Well, at least it wasn't some hideous song like, um, what's it called? I'm gonna be the man...” Charlene clicked her fingers. “500 Miles. You know, by the Proclaimers.”
She made a gagging sound, and the three of them cracked up laughing.
“I love that song.” I shrugged, spearing a piece of lettuce with my fork.
“What?” Charlene scrunched her nose with a groan. “It's so incredibly painful.”
About now, I'd usually back away from the conversation, mutter something about agreeing to differ and go back to munching my greens, but I just didn't feel like it today. I didn’t know whether it was Cole's kick-ass business idea or my distant memories of dreaming that had me fired up, but for some reason, I decided to stand up for one of my favorite songs.
“I think it's beautiful. If you listen to the lyrics...it's one of the most romantic songs I know.” There was no way on earth I'd sing it to these guys, but I knew the lyrics by heart. “I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more, just to be the man who walked a 1000 miles to fall down at your door?” I glanced around the table. The only one with a gleam in his eye was Cole, and it encouraged me to finish my argument. “How can you not love that? If a guy ever sang that to me, I'd be putty in his hands.”
Mitch chuckled, flicking his hand at David. “Looks like you'll need to start taking singing lessons, bro.”
“Not on your life.” David shook his head. “Ella knows I hate singing.” He kissed my cheek. “I have other ways of wooing my girl.” His eyebrows wriggled and I was forced to smile.
The truth was, he had wooed me. It hadn't taken much in high school; I had been a lost wreck, but he'd kept me steady. We'd lived apart for two years and I'd remained loyal and true. I hadn't wavered...until the morning after I arrived here and heard a voice in the shower.
I felt instant guilt and looked back to my salad.
“I like it too.” Cole sat forward in his chair. “I agree with Ella. It's romantic. Plus, I love their accents.”
His boyish grin oozed with charm and Charlene finally conceded with a blush. “Well, I do like that part.”
Cole shot me a quick wink and I had to gulp back my giggles.
The guy was adorable and sexy and cheeky. I could see why girls blushed in his presence; heck
, I probably did all the time. The thought brought me up short, and I spent the rest of the meal keeping my eyes away from him and all over my actual boyfriend.
At the end of the meal, we all pitched in our money. David insisted on paying for me, which was really sweet. He was so good like that. Rising from the chair, I gave him a quick kiss.
“Have fun at the game.”
“You know I will.” His dimple popped into place before he looked over me and said to Cole, “Hey
, are you cool to get Ella back to campus?”
“Yeah, of course.” Cole didn't look up as he pushed his chair in.
“No, that's okay. I can find my way.”
“Baby. Come on. We all know you got lost on the way here.” He gave me a smile I knew was meant to be sweet, but it just came across as patronizing.
Not knowing how to respond, I concentrated on lifting my bag onto my shoulder.
“I'll call you after the game, okay?” Kissing my forehead, he moved away from me, getting lost in quick conversation with Mitch.
I turned to Cole, pasting on a cheerful smile. “So, how come you're not going to the game?”
“I declined the invitation.”
“Why?” I pulled at a strand of hair the wind was insisting I keep in my mouth.
Cole chuckled. “Soccer's not really my thing.”
“Me neither,” I moaned. “That's why he didn't bother inviting me, which I really don't mind. It saves me having to say no.”
Cole opened his mouth with a slight frown and then shook his head, looking away with a grin. I wanted to ask him what he was thinking, but he started talking before I could. “I'm more of a baseball man.”
“You play at school?”
“Yeah, I was a shortstop in the summer and then football was my winter game. I just played for fun, I was never good enough to be taken seriously.”
“Plus you have other dreams, right?” I nudged his arm with my shoulder.
“I do.” He chuckled and then looked serious as he glanced down at me. “Hey, do you ever ask if they have gluten-free options when you're at a place like that?”
I made a face. “Most of the time it just confuses them, although I think it's getting better. It's becoming more widespread. Restaurants are having to cater. It's just a matter of finding them. The menu's always pretty limited though.” I sighed with a smile. “One day, I'd love to walk into a place and know that every single item on that menu was gluten free and I could just order whatever the heck I wanted.”
“No more Greek salads for you, huh?”
I snickered. “I guess they're good for me. It'd just be nice to have more options. People like you have no idea how good glutenous food smells. It'd just be nice to eat in a place where I was in the same boat as everybody else.”
“Well, if I ever do get my pub up and running, that's what I'm gonna do for you.”
I started to laugh.
“I'm serious.” He tipped his head at me.
“Cole, you don't have to do that.”
“But it'd be cool to try, right?” His hands wer
e in his pockets, his elbows poking out like wings as he shrugged. “I mean, there's bound to be other people on the planet like you. I'm gonna look into it. You can help me write up a gluten-free menu and we'll go for it.”
“Sounds good.” I nodded with a grin.
Man, it did sound so incredibly good. I would love to help Cole set up his business. His ideas were amazing and it'd be so cool to be a part of it. The fact my insides were buzzing with images of us putting it together enticed me...and then scared me, but I couldn't drop it. The conversation was too much fun, the ideas too alluring to veer away from and for the first time in years, I felt the wings of my heart beating.
We sauntered through Millennium Park
, chatting about delicious gluten-free food and how everyday meals could actually be turned gluten-free. We threw menu ideas around and spent that sunny, windy afternoon dreaming without a care.