Fever (15 page)
No. David. I had to stick with David. We’d be happy together. Things would work out fine. Sure, he didn't get my body zinging like shower man, and he didn't make me heart flutter the way Cole seemed to, but that didn't matter. We had something solid and dependable...and besides, leaving him would break his heart, and I couldn't live with that.
COLE
“Shit,” I mumbled, flicking the spilled beer off my hand and reaching for a towel. Mumbling another apology, I grabbed a fresh glass and pulled a new beer for the customer. He took it with a grin and headed to his table.
Quigg's was busy tonight but not crammed. A solo artist played very mellow tunes on her guitar. Her smoky voice created a nice, soft ambience and the patrons were matching the mood. People often wanted chilled
-out music on a Sunday night; with work the next day, they weren’t after hype.
I usually liked this tone, but tonight I felt restless and could have used some kick-ass Chaos to get the blood pumping. Yesterday with Ella had been freaking awesome. She was so easy to talk to and she liked my dream. We chatted as if we were planning it together, and I finally got a taste of what Nina and Malachi constantly tried to sell me. I wanted it. I wanted to fall in love and build my dream with someone.
I hated that I'd fallen, but I had. No matter how much I wanted to fight it, I was ready for that next step in my life. It made me feel weak and frustrated...mostly because the girl I wanted to do all this stuff with was unavailable. I couldn't muscle in on my best friend's relationship, although I did have my doubts about whether they were right for each other.
Was I just thinking that because I didn't want them together anymore?
I pictured Ella's face as I asked her about her dreams and shook my head.
No, I was right on some level. I was pretty confident of that.
“Excuse me!”
I glanced down the bar and spotted a sexy brunette trying to get my attention. I pasted on a grin and walked toward her.
“What can I get ya?”
“Just a house wine
, please.”
“Red or white?”
“Red, of course.” Her smile was slow and sensual, and I took a second to admire it. She was pretty damn hot. I glanced back over my shoulder as I stepped toward the wine glasses, wondering if I should have been checking her ID, but she looked older than college. She had a sophistication and confidence to her that made me think she was in her late twenties. Her ample breasts were tucked neatly into a tight purple shirt. It was a tantalizing piece of material that made my traitorous body respond immediately.
Clearing my throat, I reached for a clean glass, trying to distract myself by thinking of something other than the curve of her milky white breasts, but the only thing my mind could conjure was the curve of another pair of soft breasts that belonged to a songbird. I had imagined what she looked like so many times. She had several different faces and forms. I could never pinpoint which one matched her voice the best. My fears of a limbless, toothless, bald girl had vanished over time, and I had now come to the crazy conclusion that if I ever did meet her, I'd be undone.
Uncorking a fresh bottle of red, I poured it into the glass, making sure I didn't dribble any over the sides. It pissed me off that I would never be undone by shower girl, because she didn't want to meet me. No, she was in love with someone else, and that poor guy didn't deserve my muscling in on that relationship either.
All I wanted was a girl and all I had was nothing.
Placing the glass gently in front of Ms. Brown Eyes, I told her the price and she handed me a twenty, her dark orbs assessing me with a smile.
“I'm Trisha.” She held the note out to me.
I grabbed the bill and tried to pull it from her grasp, but she held it steady.
“Cole,” I said with a grin.
She let the money go, her teeth brushing her bottom lip. I swallowed, stepping back to the cash register and depositing the cash.
Damn. She would be one hell of
a distraction tonight. Maybe I needed it. I hadn't had sex in weeks, and I needed to release a little tension.
Stepping back to her end of the bar, I pressed my hands against the shiny wood and smiled. “So, Trisha, what do you do?”
*****
I caught the
slightly-tipsy woman to my side, laughing with her as she stumbled out of Quigg's door. I could feel Nina's eyes burning holes through the back of my head, but I ignored her. I'd done most of the clean-up while Trisha waited on the barstool for me. Nina had tried to kick her out twice, but I'd stood up for the paralegal; I had plans with her tonight.
“Where do you live?” I stopped to hail a cab while she told me her address.
We slipped into the back, and before I'd even gotten the door closed, she was on me. Her lips and tongue explored my face, no doubt getting burned by my evening stubble. She didn't seem to mind; her strong fingers held my head to hers as my hands roamed her body. Damn, she felt good.
We arrived a few minutes later, chucking money at the driver and practically rolling out of the car.
“Over there.” She pointed to the apartment block across the road and we headed toward it, an unsettling nervousness brewing in my stomach.
We stopped outside her door and she turned to me, her eyes sparkling. “Do you want to come up?”
I knew what I should have said, but my head bobbed and she tugged me inside. I followed her up the one flight of stairs and nibbled the back of her neck as she unlocked the door, pressing myself against her butt and letting her know my exact intentions.
She didn't seem to mind. The second we were
inside, she slammed the door shut and threw herself at me. Pressing her body against me, she moved us back to the couch, her tongue assaulting my neck again. Her breathing was rapid and laced with the smell of wine.
I ran my hands into her hair and tried to focus on the feel of her breasts pushing into my chest and the aching desire in my pants. I needed to relieve this pressure and get my head straight again.
Yanking up my shirt, she pulled it over my head, running her nails lightly down my flesh. My skin prickled.
It felt wrong.
I almost looked away as she whipped off her own shirt and threw it to the floor. Two seconds later, her bra was dangling from her fingertips and I was staring at two very gorgeous breasts.
I reached for them, her eyes lighting with pleasure as I rubbed my thumbs over her nipples.
It felt wrong.
My lips met her neck, and I tried to ignore my thoughts, diving into the
erotic moment. I wouldn’t stay the night. In an hour or so, I’d be back in my dorm, tucked up in bed with a smile on my face.
My dorm.
Ella.
She’d no doubt be in bed with David.
Ugh. Perhaps I'd go for a shower instead.
Songbird.
“Oh, that feels good.” Trisha breathed in my ear as she scrambled for the button of my jeans.
I jerked back.
“What's wrong?” Her eyes rounded as I stepped away from her.
I frowned, running a hand through my hair and clearing my throat.
I couldn't do this.
It felt wrong.
“Why'd you stop?” Trisha put her hands on her hips.
“I don't know you.”
“Excuse me?”
“We don't even know each other.”
“We just spent the whole night talking.” She sniggered.
“Did we?” I reached for my shirt, closing my eyes as I put it on. Tugging it down over my back, I looked her straight in the eye. “You don't know me.”
Not like Ella did.
“If you didn't want this, why the hell did you come up?”
“I'm sorry.” I stepped away from the couch, grabbing my jacket off the floor. “I thought this would help me forget about my problems, but I...this isn't gonna work for me. I'm sorry.”
I tutted, hating that I'd just lost the casual sex card.
Stopping at the door, I gave her one more apologetic smile before stepping into the hallway.
“You're such a jerk.” I zipped my jacket as I sped down the stairs.
I didn't see a cab anywhere, so I shoved my hands into my pockets and walked to the bus stop. It would take way longer to get back to my dorm, but I needed to cool off.
Hearing Trisha whisper that I felt good just made me feel sick. It was the wrong voice.
Checking that the street was clear, I ran across it and continued my fast-paced clip.
I had wanted Ella's voice in my ear. She knew me. I'd told her stuff that only Nina and Malachi knew...privileged memories and dreams that I kept hidden from everyone. And now the only person I wanted touching me that intimately was her.
I didn't want sex. I wanted to make love...to Ella. Images of her petite body moving in time with mine scorched my brain. I imagined running my hands over her perfect form and looking into her large eyes, having them smile at me, smothering me with sunshine while I slipped inside her. I wanted to make her body tingle, I wanted to send her over the edge of pleasure. I wanted my touch to undo her.
“You're so frickin' screwed, you idiot.”
Despair washed over me, my mood becoming blacker with each step. Whether I wanted to or not, I had to get over Ella. This was killing me.
A bus pulled up just as I reached the stop. I jumped on, swiped my card and slumped into a seat near the back, my dark thoughts turning my brain into a maelstrom.
An hour later, I was walking into my room. For a second, I forgot where I was and slammed the door shut. I winced, hoping I hadn't woken David. I glared at his door, wondering if Ella was cuddled up beside him. I didn't want to stick around to find out.
Snatching the towel off the back of my chair, I headed straight out again, closing the door as softly as I could. I needed to wash off Trisha's scent. I needed to unwind. I needed to purge myself of this unrest and get my damn life back.
ELLA
I flinched as the door slammed, my head popping off the pillow.
“Damn it, Cole. We're trying to sleep here, you freaking night owl,” David mumbled into my shoulder.
Cole.
My body tensed.
I hadn't been able to get him out of my head since my Skype call this afternoon. I'd felt so restless after it finished that I'd left the dorms, needing to walk...to think, to try to work out what the hell I was supposed to do with my life.
The fresh air did me no good. My brain was so filled with scattered thoughts I couldn't control them. Three men whirled before me, and I craved them all for different reasons.
David equaled security.
Cole equaled magic.
I felt so alive when I was around him.
And shower guy...shower guy equaled passion. He set my body alight.
So which was the best choice?
My head told me security. It was logical. It made sense. But my heart protested, squeezing inside me and shouting that magic and passion would make my life brilliant.
David had texted me around six, asking me to come over. I went right away, guilt driving me there, along with the desire to try to make our relationship something that it wasn't.
We spent the evening in bed, me trying to get my body fired up, but it just didn’t work. Sex with David was nice. It was comfortable, but my body wouldn’t sing.
At least David was happy.
He'd moaned and groaned pleasantly throughout both encounters, tucking me against him and feeling triumphant once we were done. I'd
laid there tense and silent while he chatted about his day of study. Finally, the light had gone off and we'd drifted to sleep...well, David had.
Reaching for his bedside clock, I looked at the time.
1:05 a.m. There was no way I could lie here awake for the rest of the night. I had classes tomorrow. I needed to be in my own bed.
I shifted the covers and tried to wriggle free of David's embrace.
“Stay,” he mumbled.
“I have an early class,” I whispered. “And I won't be able to sleep properly if I stay.”
“Maybe if you stayed more often, you'd get used to it.”
I froze, swallowing down the boulder that was lodged in my windpipe. “I don't think you realize how sexy you are. I'm not gonna be able to sleep with you lying here naked all night.”
The lie bolstered his ego, and he relented with a little chuckle, lifting his arm off me. I reached for my clothes and fumbled them on in the dark, not even bothering with my underwear.
“I love you,” he muttered sleepily before rolling toward the wall.
“Love you too,” I eventually whispered back before sneaking to the door. He was asleep before I even left the room.
I gazed through the dark at Cole's door, wondering if he was sleeping on his bed now. I couldn't help imagining the pleasure of sleeping next to him at night, tucked up against his strong side. I closed my eyes and let out a soft moan.
“It'd be heaven.”
I yanked open the door and scurried down the corridor. My room was black and empty, isolation creeping over me as I perched on the edge of my bed. Flicking on the lamp, I squinted in the brightness, taking in my surroundings and feeling that familiar loneliness.
“I need a shower.”
A little singing and warmth would ease my mind. I wanted to wash David off me as well, which felt bad. I should have wanted his scent to linger all over my body, but not tonight.
Reaching the bathroom, I eased the door open and headed to the back stall. Flicking on the spray, I undressed quickly and felt the temperature before stepping under the water. I let out a slow sigh.
Yes, this was exactly what I needed.
As always, my thoughts turned to shower guy. I wondered where he was at this exact moment. In bed? Sleeping beside another girl or lying on his own...just waiting for me.
I closed my eyes against the thought and pushed my head under the spray, enjoying the feel of the water washing over me. A song flittered through me, a smile creeping over my lips as it filled me with warmth.
Pulling my head back, I turned to face the shower head and stopped.
A voice filled the space before I could, rounding over the melody of “Let's Call The Whole Thing Off.”
It was him.
His smooth voice was punching out a song that always made me smile. Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald sang the perfect version of it, teasing each other for liking different things, but knowing at the end of the day, in spite of their differences, they couldn’t live without each other.
I touched the wall, feeling his words run through me, loving the way they pressed against my skin and filled me with such deep longing. Closing my eyes, I rested my head against the cool tiles and listened.
I wanted to join him. Open my mouth and relish the sound of our voices blending together…but I knew I shouldn’t.
He was getting to my favorite part of the song. I loved the way the tune jumped and Ella always nailed it, her sweet voice gifting the song a cheerful beauty.
He sang the line of doubt...questioning what would happen if things were called off, and I responded before I could stop myself, knowing the truth. If things ended now, it would break my heart, just like the song implied.
I heard his shower flick off. The air went still around me. Was he leaving?
Probably. Last time, I'd told him a big fat no and just walked away when he was still calling out to me.
I deserved nothing less.
Pressing my fingers into the tiles, I tried to ward off the tears, but they didn't have time to fall, because he kept singing. A smile spread across my lips, my insides bursting as he sang the lines, and then I joined him.
There would be no calling off tonight.
He cut the final, long note short and cleared his throat. “Stay there. I'm coming to you.”
I flicked off my shower, breaths punching out of me. I knew I should have been calling out and telling him no, but I couldn't. I wanted to see him. I wanted to look into his eyes and know.
I had to put a face to the voice.
Biting my bottom lip, I reached for my towel and wove it around me, not bothering to dry off.
What would happen when we saw each other?
Would he be handsome?
Was he tall, fat, short,
skinny? What color was his skin? Did he have brown eyes, blue, green?
Was his hair long?
I bunched my shaking fingers into fists and pulled back the curtain.
The door squeaked open and I held my breath, stepping out of the cubicle.
My insides froze as I caught sight of him, hope sinking through my body and puddling on the floor at my feet.
“Oh
, no,” I whispered, tears instantly lining my lashes.