Fierce (31 page)

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Authors: Kelly Osbourne

But then the nominations kept coming. I was nominated for an award for Best Takeover in a Role for
Chicago
from whatsonstage.com and then a Rising Star Award from the Sony Radio Academy Awards for my show on Radio 1. The last one was such a huge shock. I mean,
they’re the Oscars of the radio world. I couldn’t believe it.

T
HERE
are few people who know more about having a successful music career than Louis Walsh. My audition for Chicago was terrifying, but I know there are things you can do to make sure they go well, so I asked Louis for his top audition tips and his essential do’s and don’ts for making that crucial first impression.

Always remember auditions are basically job interviews for performers. And, like every interview, you will only succeed in getting the job if you are right for it.

Louis’ top tips for making the most of your audition:

Look confident: Introduce yourself and speak clearly and confidently, even if you don’t feel it. Wear a smile. Look as if you’re enjoying yourself and not as if you’re in front of a firing squad. An audition is about looking for stars, not timid church mice.

Pick the right songs:
Select two songs that you love, that you’re comfortable with and that show off your voice. Find a song that’s a bit unusual or take in a classic song and put your individual stamp on it.

Get to the best part first:
Less is definitely more. You might have just seconds before they call ‘next’, so make sure those seconds count.

Don’t make excuses:
Don’t apologise in advance of your audition. No one wants to hear that they’re about to listen to a bad audition because you’ve got a sore throat, blocked sinuses or you were up all night. Just get on with it.

Know your song:
Know the words of the song or songs that you want to perform inside out. Nerves won’t wash. If you can’t handle the pressure of a small audition, how do you expect to handle a live audience? The only time you should read lyrics or music is if you are given something specific to perform. Even then, make sure you look up and let the judges see you sing. If possible, find out in advance whether you will be singing with a pianist, a capella or if it’s ok to bring a backing track.

Look smart and look the part:
Image is hugely important in the world of showbusiness yet incredibly many turn up for auditions looking like disinterested slobs. If you can’t be bothered, how do you expect anyone else to take you seriously? Be warned, this is not an invitation to arrive looking like a complete plonker from a bad rap video. Lose the shades, the bling and the attitude.

Should you even be there?
Don’t waste people’s time. Make sure you fit the criteria for the audition you are attending. The one thing no one can really help you with is a genuine singing voice. It still amazes me how many people come to auditions who haven’t a note in their head. If that’s you accept that a career as a singer might not be for you and move on.

Do:
Keep calm as you walk into the audition room. Try slow, deep breaths, positive thinking, or whatever it takes to keep yourself feeling relaxed. Remember – the judges are human too.

Don’t:
Try to be someone you’re not, as this will only make you more nervous. Don’t dress up as the person you are singing as it implies that you don’t have a personality of your own. If you really do want to use props, keep them to a minimum – at the end of the day, the judges want to see you and hear your voice.

Do:
Have something to say about yourself so you can be memorable; the judges will remember those who have made them smile, laugh or cry.

Don’t:
Don’t get cocky, talk too much or be over-confident; you have to get the right mix of showing respect to the judges, but at the same time selling yourself.

Do:
Try to introduce yourself to the team when you arrive or before you audition. Make sure you tell them why you’re there and if you have an interesting story as they may want to film it.

Don’t:
Blend in with the crowd; choose a song that means something to you, but nothing too quirky. However, if auditioning for a musical role, you should know the most famous song from the production as the judges will probably ask you to sing it.

Do:
Try to act as well as sing: use emotions and movement as this is much more interesting for both you and the judges, plus it shows you have a range of talents.

Don’t:
Go outside your comfort zone. Steer clear of songs by divas such Aretha Franklin, Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston and Christina Aguilera. I know from personal experience how hard it is to stay awake through countless bad versions if ‘I Will Always Love You’, ‘The Greatest Love of All’ and ‘Flying Without Wings’.

Do:
Bring someone with you; there’s a lot of waiting around involved.

Don’t:
Take it personally: If you are turned down, accept that you are simply not the right person for that particular job at that particular time. It doesn’t mean you’re not talented or you don’t have a future in the music industry. Get over it and try again. You may do fifty auditions and get nowhere because the competition is fierce. Look on every audition as a learning experience that gives you more practice in performing live.

Just to be nominated for those awards was a big fucking deal for me, it really was. I had to leave the Sony Awards halfway through the night and jump into a cab to go to the
LK Today
High Street Fashion Awards. I’d been voted by the viewers of Lorraine Kelly’s show as the Best Dressed Celebrity in High Street Fashion. I was thrilled because it was an award that had been voted for by the British public, which
meant a lot. Getting these awards was incredible. All these great things were happening and it felt too good to be true.

I finished my stint in
Chicago
at the end of November 2007. It was earlier than I’d planned, but I’d hurt my back when I’d been given a night off to host the
National TV Awards
for ITV2 with Jack. The pain was so bad that I was in hospital for nearly two weeks. I was sad not to complete my time, but I was also proud that I’d stuck at it for as long as I was able and that I’d enjoyed it.

I got an extra boost when
Glamour
magazine called to say I had been shortlisted for Theatre Actress of the Year for my role in
Chicago
at their annual awards. They’d put a voting form for all the categories in an issue of their magazine before the awards in June and readers had to tick their winners and post the form back to the magazine. A month later, I got a call to say I had won the award. I cried – again! I had loved doing
Chicago
, so to get an award for my role was an extra bonus. It really meant something to me.

On the night of the event it was pissing it down. The event is always held in a marquee in Berkeley Square in central London. I was really nervous, but Claire from Mum’s office and Anna, my friend and my PA at the time, were with me, along with the guys from Gary’s office – Caroline and Claire – and Gary and his wife, Jane. Kimberley Stewart was on the table with a friend and Gordon Smart, who is a showbiz
journalist from the
Sun
newspaper, was there too.

All my friends were there – Davinia Taylor, David Gardner and Jimmy B were on the table next to me. Jimmy was receiving an award on behalf of Kate Moss. Alexa Chung was on one of the other tables. The American singer Beth Ditto was also there – I just fucking love her. She really doesn’t give a shit about what people think about her. She’s as cool as fuck. The TV presenter and comedian Paul O’Grady was the host, which was great because he’s a really good friend of Mum’s and everyone in our family.

But I was still nervous. I can’t really remember going up for the award, but everyone clapped, so I must have said all the right things!

Afterwards, I just wanted to get the shit out of there. Not because it isn’t a great party – because it always is – but I always feel so bloody self-conscious. Kate had organised celebratory drinks for me at her house, so Davinia, David Gardner, Jimmy and me went over and had such fun!

The next day I felt really proud because 2007 had been such an amazing year for me and to get all the recognition for jobs that I had done on my own just made it even better.

It made me think of a party I had been to with Mum a year earlier. It was a Christmas party organised by the jewellers Theo Fennell. I was on a table with Mum and a whole bunch of other people including
the actor Hugh Grant, who was sitting next to me. He turned to me and said, ‘I come to these things, and I, erm, I don’t even know who you are. Are you on a reality TV show?’

I turned to face him and replied, ‘Well I don’t even know who you are, apart from that you fucked a prostitute.’

Everyone went silent – including his then girlfriend Jemima Khan – and Hugh just looked and me and in the most posh English accent ever, replied, ‘You bitch!’

Mum burst out laughing and then he did! He kind of broke the ice. Later a woman came on the stage, took off all her clothes and smoked a cigarette out of her fanny. I swear to God. Everyone stopped eating their Christmas pudding. Well, it put them off.

But winning those awards and thinking about how a year earlier people thought I was some kid from a reality TV show made me realise how far I’d come.

I felt really proud. I really did.

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