Fighting Redemption (29 page)

Her heart sank. She wasn’t going to make it. “I don’t think I’ll get there in time.”

“Oh, honey.”

“Mum,” she choked out. If Ryan wanted her there, he would have rung her, wouldn’t he?

“You know Ryan well enough to know the answer to that question, Finny,” came a familiar voice in her ear.

“What did you say, Mum?” she asked, chills snaking down her spine as she entered Roe Highway, her little car weaving wildly into traffic.

“I didn’t say anything, Finlay.”

Fin rolled her shoulders, feeling a cold sweat break out on her brow. Reaching towards her dashboard, she turned the air conditioning down.

“I’m on my way, okay?”

“Alright, sweetheart. See you soon.”

Fin’s hands shook on the steering wheel as the speedometer climbed, her little car—unused to travelling at such high speed—shuddering wildly beneath her.

“Slow down, Finny.”

“Stop it, Jake!” she shouted. “You’re not really here. Don’t do this now!”

Ryan, don’t leave. I’m coming. Please don’t leave before I get there.

The RAAF base airport was crowded with soldiers and family, but Ryan stood alone, not wanting to intrude.

“I don’t want you to go.”

His fists clenched by his sides. The words had slipped out of their own accord. Ryan was supposed to be strong enough for the both of them, yet Fin was the one who stepped back, her spine straight as she told him it was too late.

“Ryan!” His head turned swiftly. “Ryan!”

Julie was waving as she and Mike made their way through the crowd towards him. His eyes were frantic as he searched behind them, his heart leaping as he looked for Fin, but he didn’t see her bright, tousled blonde waves anywhere in the sea of army green.
Idiot,
he thought, swallowing disappointment.
She didn’t even know you were leaving today. Why would you expect her to miraculously appear and happily wave you off?

Julie reached his side and he leaned down as she wrapped him up in a hug. He buried his head briefly in the motherly embrace before he stepped away.

He turned to Mike’s outstretched hand and took it in his own. Mike tugged and soon he was wrapped in a solid hug by the only man that had ever been a real father to him. Mike slapped him on the back before pulling away.

“You didn’t let us know you were leaving, son.”

What was he supposed to say? I’ve left your daughter, but hey, I’m heading back to war, so come see me off? He would be lucky if Mike didn’t turn around and punch him in the damn nose.

“I wasn’t sure …” He rubbed a hand across his brow. “Fin and I …”

Tears filled Julie’s eyes and Ryan sighed heavily.

“We know,” she told him and his jaw locked tight. “Fin told us about the program, about how adamant you were for her to accept it. It just shows us how much you love her to put her future above everything else like this. We can’t tell you both what the right thing to do is, but Ryan, honey, we just want you happy. Don’t you think you finally deserve some happiness for yourself?”

“I am happy,” he told them and mustered a smile. “I love being in the Army. I don’t think I could ever do anything else but this.”

“That’s not the kind of happiness I was talking about,” Julie muttered.

“Leave him be,” Mike told Julie gruffly and looked at Ryan. “How about a coffee?”

Ryan nodded. “Sure.”

As the three of them sat down, Julie rummaged through her bag and handed over a bunch of cards. “These are for you.”

Ryan thanked her and sifted through them quickly. There was one from Mike’s parents and Julie’s mother, Jake and Fin’s cousins and family friends. He tucked them away carefully when they finished their coffee, and adrenaline spiked through his system when the announcement came for their flight to board.

As the three of them stood, Julie grabbed at his hand, panic flaring in her wide eyes. “You can’t leave yet.”

He looked at her. “What?”

“It’s Fin.”

Ryan’s brows drew together. “What about Fin?”

“She’s on her way here.” Julie checked her watch before meeting his eyes. “She should have been here by now.”

“She knows I’m leaving today?”

Mike nodded. “She does now. Julie spoke to her just after we arrived and told her.”

Julie already had her phone out and dialling as Mike spoke. “She told me she was already on her way to see you when I rang.”

God.
He needed to see her, bury his head in her hair and breathe her in. Nothing had ever soothed him and at the same time set him on fire the way she did.

“She’s not answering,” Julie told them after leaving a message.

The flight announcement came again. All around him, family clung to their loved ones and tears were wiped away.

“I can’t …” Ryan turned to face the both of them. “I have to go.”

Once again he was wrapped in warm hugs. “I’m sorry. Tell her I’m sorry. Tell her …” His chest tightened until he could barely speak.

Julie gripped his hand firmly and squeezed. “It’s okay, Ryan. I’ll tell her.”

He looked to Mike and lifted his chin. “Sir.”

Mike nodded. “Son.”

With one last search over the crowds, Ryan turned and strode towards his troop. Glancing over his shoulder, he caught Julie, her face buried in Mike’s chest, her shoulders shaking. His eyes burned as he kept walking, disappearing from their view.

Chatter was loud and boisterous, emotions running hot and high as the long line of soldiers congregated on the tarmac. Monty stood in front of Ryan and Kyle stood behind him, where Jake would normally stand, talking the loudest of all.

Pressing his lips together, Ryan closed his eyes and Fin filled his vision.

“Come here.”
Ryan ran his hand over her bare hip and the curve of her ass as she tucked herself against him.
“Kiss me, baby.”

When her lips met his, he rolled her over, pressing her into the bed and kissing her so deeply it made him breathless. Fin’s hands circled the hard length of him, stroking him firmly and he groaned into her mouth.

“Ryan,” s
he breathed against his lips.

Ryan buried his head in her neck, growling deeply as he rocked himself slowly in her hands. Slowly, Ryan tasted her skin, inching his way down her body until he reached where his name was etched so beautifully into her skin. He traced over the mark with his tongue.

Fin giggled softly.
“If you keep doing that, it’ll wear away.”

Ryan looked up at her from beneath his lashes to catch the smile on her face.
“I don’t think it’s going anywhere anytime soon.”

“…shoot any straighter, Kendall?”

Ryan turned to face a smirking Kyle. “Huh?”

“Jesus.” Kyle rolled his eyes. “I said,” he enunciated loudly, grinning, “do you think that letting your hair grow any longer is gonna make you shoot any straighter?”

Ryan ran a hand over the back of his head. He’d loved feeling Fin’s hands pulling and tugging at his hair when he was buried between her thighs—the harder she pulled, the hotter he got.

“Fuck you, Brooks,” he retorted. “You couldn’t lift a rifle past that fat gut of yours and hit a goddamn elephant standing two metres away.”

“Oh my God, you think I’m...
fat?
” Kyle widened his eyes in mock horror, splaying a hand over the well-defined muscles of his abdomen. “It’s the army fatigues isn’t it?” He twisted his head, looking down over his shoulder as though trying to check out his own ass. “They make me look podgy.”

“Fuck podgy,” Galloway called out. “You look like the Marshmallow Man from
Ghostbusters
, only greener.”

“And dumber,” Tex added, laughing as he shuffled forward in the line, in step with everyone else.

Ryan tuned the banter out and took one final, searching look towards the airport windows for Fi
n
.

Not seeing her, he turned back and following behind Monty, stepped up and onto the plane.

With her heart racing, Fin pulled quickly into the parking lot at Base Pearce and parked the car at a wild angle. Yanking her keys out, she grabbed her bag and flung the car door open. Toeing off her heels, she tossed them at the passenger seat and with a slam of the door, ran towards the entrance. Elbowing her way through the crowd, Fin made it towards the large windows in time to see the plane taxi down the runway and lift off into the sky.

“No,” she moaned breathlessly.

Dropping her bag, she pressed both hands against the glass as she watched Ryan disappear until there was nothing left to see but bright blue sky and fluffy clouds.
She hadn’t made it.
Closing her eyes, Fin rested her forehead against the glass, her breath puffing softly against the gleaming window. She would be holding this baby in her arms before he even returned. Ryan would never run his hands over her pregnant belly with love; he would never feel the joy of their baby’s first kick or see their baby born into the world. She wouldn’t be sharing any of it with him.

Goddamn you, Ryan.
Anger cut a deep slash through the hurt, leaving her breathless.
You talk about how other countries depend on people like you to fight in their corner, but what about me? I need you too.

“Fin!”

Fin spun around at the sound of her mother’s voice. Her parents were pushing their way towards her through the current of people beginning their slow exit of the building. She lifted her chin. “He’s gone.”

Her father nodded gravely.

“Well then.” Grabbing her bag from its abandoned spot on the floor, she jerked it over her shoulder. “No point in hanging around is there.”

“Finlay.” Her mother placed a hand on her arm.

Fin halted at the gentle touch, fighting to hold onto the anger that was helping keep her shit together. “Don’t, Mum. I’m fine. I need to get back to work.”

“We spoke to him before he left,” her mother said.

“Oh how nice,” she replied icily. “I don’t even get a phone call when he’s leaving, but you two get time to see him and wave him off. Did he look happy?” Her father frowned, his mouth open to reply. “Don’t answer that. I bet he did. I bet you couldn’t wipe the smile from his face at the thought of fucking off back to war, the only place he’s ever wanted to be.” Her mum reached for her again, but Fin slapped her hand away, feeling the cracks forming in her heart. “I hate him,” she hissed. With tears blurring her vision, she looked at her mum and dad in turn. “I fucking hate him and I don’t want to ever hear his name again.”

Spinning on bare feet, Fin strode blindly towards the entrance of the airport and out into the midday heat. What had she been thinking chasing after him like that anyway? Obviously she hadn’t been. Ryan had more important things to focus on than waving goodbye to someone he didn’t want anymore.

Fin growled audibly as she beeped the locks on her car, hating herself just as much for the useless pity party she was getting swept away in.

“Finlay,” her father called out, his voice firm and loud.

Fin spun around, seeing him stalk towards her. “What?” she replied tersely.

“Don’t you take that tone with me, miss. I know you’re upset but—”

“Upset? I’m more than upset!” she yelled, cutting him off as she rummaged through her bag. Finding the photo that had been tucked so carefully in her purse, she ripped it out and thrust it at him.

He took it, frowning at her before looking down at the photo. Her chest rose and fell rapidly while she waited for her father to speak, her body growing tenser by the second.

“That sonofabitch,” he eventually growled, his nostrils flaring wide as comprehension dawned in his eyes. Peeling his eyes from the photo, they flickered to her belly before lifting to her face. “He ended a relationship with my daughter when she’s having his baby? I had nothing but respect and love for that boy, but this …” Her father started to crumple the photo in his hand, cursing loudly.

“Dad! That wasn’t how it happened.”

He pointed at her, fire in his eyes. “You’re defending him now? He has a lot to goddamn answer for.”

Seeing her father’s anger made her own deflate. She didn’t like seeing him assume the worst. Not of Ryan. “He didn’t know, Dad.
I
didn’t know, not until this morning. I tried to get here in time to tell him, but I was too late.”