Fighting Redemption (36 page)

“Oh God,” she moaned as another pain overtook her. “Mum if you’ve lost your key...” she flung the door wide open “...there’s going to be …”

Behind the screen door stood three men. They were all attired in official Australian Army uniform and wearing grave expressions.

Her heart lurched to her throat.

“Ma’am?” Fin focused her eyes on the man who spoke. “Finlay Louise Tanner?”

She nodded mutely as her entire body began trembling.

“I’m Officer Gavin Reed.” He indicated to the older man standing by his left. “This is Australian Army Chaplain Bryce Wethers.” Then he gestured towards Kyle. “And I believe you know Trooper Kyle Brooks.”

Fin searched Kyle’s pained hazel eyes before her gaze dropped to where he was turning a plain white envelope in his hands with care. She watched his fingers run along the edges of it before turning it over and repeating the process.

Her eyes flew back up to meet his. “No,” she whispered, her vision blurring as tears came thick and fast.

“Ma’am? May we come in?” asked Officer Reed.

Fin gritted her teeth as another sharp pain stole her breath.

“Fin? Sweetheart?” Without waiting for an invitation, Kyle grabbed the handle of the screen door and yanked it open.

“Can’t breathe,” she gasped when he took hold of her arms, holding her up when her knees gave out. “Everything hurts. Oh God, Kyle, it
hurts.
”

“Where?” Wild panic filled his eyes as he looked at her. “Where does it hurt?”

Feeling bile rise in her throat, Fin swallowed it down, but it wasn’t going anywhere. Leaning over, she coughed and blood filled her mouth. “Oh no,” she moaned, wiping at her face.

“Oh
fuck
,” Kyle breathed, his eyes going wide as they fell on the blood she couldn’t keep down. “Fin!” He turned to the men behind him. “Call a goddamn ambulance!”

“Finlay. Can you hear me? Miss Tanner?”

Fin tried responding to the urgent voice she could barely hear, but agony was crushing her. She was drowning in it, feeling it take her under, holding her there until she feared it would break her apart.

“Fin!”

Fin blinked her eyes open for a brief second. She was being wheeled inside an ambulance. Kyle had hold of her hand. His grip was firm and soothing. It kept her from being pulled beneath the surface.

“Are you the baby’s father?” she heard someone ask.

Kyle met her eyes for a brief flash.

“Don’t let go,” she whispered weakly.

He nodded at her as she was wheeled swiftly inside the open back doors.

“I am,” she heard him say.

“Get in,” he was told.

Relief swept through her until he let go of her hand. Unable to stay afloat without it, Fin gave in to the pull and began slipping under.

“Priority one!” someone yelled.

The loud wail of sirens filled her ears.

She didn’t want to live without Ryan by her side, but she couldn’t bear the thought of her baby dying too. Fighting oblivion, Fin reached out blindly for Kyle’s hand again and he took hold, his grip tight as he leaned in. “Don’t let my baby die.”

Kyle cupped the side of her face, his thumb stroking her cheek. “You’re both going to be fine,” he reassured her, but the fear in his eyes was obvious enough to tell her she wasn’t fine. Not at all.

“Kyle.” Fin licked her lips. “You …” She moaned and drew a sharp breath into her lungs. “You and Rachael … Godparents. Please, take care of our baby for us.”

Kyle choked down a sob. “Ryan—”

“Promise me,” she demanded furiously, cutting him off. Her trembling body felt ice cold, like being back in Antarctica, only a thousand times worse.

“Fin. You’re going to …” His voice trailed off as her vision greyed. Something was placed over her mouth and then blackness took her.

What felt like only moments later, Fin was blinking her eyes open. Ryan was standing in her field of vision. She turned her head, unable to see anything else but him. He was so beautiful it made her ache.

“Ryan.”

“I’m here, baby,” he said softly.

She ran her eyes over him. The bright light was hitting his dark eyes, turning them the colour of liquid scotch. He smiled. “I missed you. So much.”

Why was he standing so far away?
“Come closer. Please.”

Ryan took a step towards her.

“I love you,” she told him.

His gaze on her softened. “I want to say I love you too, but it doesn’t seem enough.”

“Say it anyway,” she whispered.

Ryan took another step towards her, and her brows drew together. Something wasn’t right. “Ryan?”

“I love you, Fin. I won’t ever stop. I’ll love you longer than the stars that live in the sky.”

Light’s flickered above and she blinked. “Ryan. Why aren’t you—” She broke off at the crushing weight on her chest.

Ryan frowned, tilting his head as he watched her. “Are you okay, baby?”

“No!” she gasped, fighting desperately for air. He was walking towards her, but it was like he wasn’t moving at all. “Why aren’t you getting any closer?”

Confusion clouded his eyes and he looked down, watching the ground move beneath his feet. “Fin, I … I don’t understand.”

“You’re not real,” she whispered, cold chills snaking down her spine.

His head whipped up, hurt shadowing his eyes. “How could you say that?”

“You’re dead. You died!” she cried out. “You left me. You weren’t supposed to die, Ryan. I can’t live without you. I don’t want to. Please take me with you. Please,” she begged, tears spilling over and slipping down her cheeks.

Ryan held his hand out towards her and smiled. “I’m here, baby. I didn’t leave you. I’ll always be here. I won’t ever leave you.”

Fin reached for his hand, but no matter how far she stretched her arm towards him, he remained out of reach. “Ryan,” she gasped.

Ryan paused after taking another step and frowned. “Fin? Why can’t I …” He took another step, and another, but he wasn’t getting any closer.

She tried to stand but something inside was ripping her apart. Fear had her pulse racing when he started disappearing before her very eyes. “No!” she yelled.

Ryan looked around frantically as though he couldn’t see her anymore and suddenly he was gone.

“Don’t go!”

A warm hand circled hers, rough and calloused. It squeezed tight, soothing her fear. “I won’t go,” the voice said.

The bright light burned her eyes as she blinked them open and focused on the man hovering above her. “Kyle? Where did Ryan go? Please tell me he didn’t die. I can’t … I can’t …” Fin moaned.

“We’re losing her!” someone shouted.

You can’t lose me. I’m right here,
she tried to say, but the words wouldn’t come out.

Ryan had been seventeen when Fin asked him about life after death. It was something he thought about all the time. After losing Kassidy, it was
all
he thought about. Was her soul still alive somewhere, or had she ceased to exist entirely? The memory of talking to Fin that day had stuck in his mind.

It had been just another hot Saturday spent at the beach. Ryan and Jake, along with five of their close mates, had been thundering through the dry sand on the beach, sweat pouring off them as they played a friendly game of rugby in the heat of the day.
Friendly
was really a loose term. They were all competitive; tackles came hard and fast, and swift elbows were planted in ribs as laughter rang out. Sure that shit hurt, but fuck, it was fun. Playing rugby—whether it was for his club or just on the beach—made him feel alive and free of the heavy weight he always carried with him.

Having Fin there made the day that much brighter. Along with Rachael, they were both spread out on enormous beach towels wearing flimsy bikinis that no girl their age had any right to be wearing. Not that he minded running his eyes over every inch of Fin’s exposed skin—he just didn’t want anyone else to.

Every day it was getting harder to ignore her, especially when she was wearing next to nothing. That particular day he’d been so focused on her rather than playing rugby he found himself getting hard. He had to force the ball to go wide—right into the cold surf—so he could chase after it and cool off.

Ten minutes later, one of his mates and major flirt, Corey, kicked it right in Fin’s direction with impressive finesse. Ryan’s eyes narrowed to slits at the deliberate manoeuvre, even as he yelled, “Heads!”

Both girls squealed, arms flying up to cover their heads as Corey flew after the ball. Sand was kicked everywhere as he ploughed right through the middle of them to pick up the ball.

“Ladies.” Corey grinned as he stood and turned. Ryan stalked over, his eyes on Fin as she sat up and brushed at the sand Corey had flicked over them so carelessly.

Ignoring Corey, she looked up, her green eyes locking on Ryan as he reached the little group of three. His heart fluttered at her focus, making him frown irritably.

Hands on his hips, Ryan raised his brows at Corey. “You about done here?”

Corey gave him a mock salute, and after a casual, “Later, girls,” thrown over his shoulder with a wink, he headed back into the thick of the game. Satisfied no harm had come to Fin, Ryan followed.

“Ryan! Wait!” she called out.

Ryan paused and turned around.

Fin stood up, the movement not overly graceful as she stumbled in the sand.

He hid a quick grin and asked, “What’s up?”

Ryan was glad the words sounded casual because his pulse was racing as she tripped her way towards him, brushing sand off her ass as she did so. He swallowed a groan, fighting the urge to offer to do it for her.

Fin reached his side. “You okay?”

Ryan wiped the sweat from his brow with his forearm. “Yeah, sure. Why?”

“You just looked a bit funny for a minute, that’s all.”

Yeah, that’s probably because my dick really likes the idea of my hands on your ass.
Ryan cleared his throat. “I’m fine. So what’s up?” he repeated, anxious to extricate himself from her company just as much as he wanted to stay right where he was.

“I was uh, hoping that maybe you could teach me to body surf?”

Ryan’s eyes slid over her near naked form and his dick jerked.
Shit. Pervert.
He forced his eyes over to where Jake was taking Corey down in a hard tackle. Satisfaction curled his lips when he saw Corey eat a mouthful of sand. “You can’t get your brother to teach you? He’s better at it than I am.”

Turning back, Ryan caught the brief flash of hurt in Fin’s eyes before it was hidden. “He
is
better,” she replied, grinning, and
fuck
he loved how she was losing her shyness and gaining confidence in herself. “But …” She bit her lip as she reached for his hand. The gesture was sweet and her touch sent shivers of heat down his spine. Unable to fight against it, he curled his hand around hers, linking their fingers as she tugged him towards the shoreline. “You’re more patient with me, and you don’t make fun of me when I do stupid things.”

“That’s because you’re cute when you do stupid things,” Ryan blurted out as he let her drag him behind her.
Shit.
Did he really say that? He needed to take his eyes off her ass before he said something more damning.

Fin stopped abruptly and he almost smacked into her back. She turned, her mouth open. “You think I’m cute?”

“Umm …”

“Where are you two going?” Jake yelled over his shoulder.

Ryan owed Jake big time for that save, otherwise he might have admitted to just how hot he thought she really was, and encouraging anything between them wouldn’t be right.

“Swimming,” Fin yelled back.

Jake tipped his chin at Ryan, the gesture telling Ryan to
look after my little sister.

He gave Jake a brief salute before they continued their path. When the cool, salty water rushed over their toes, Ryan stopped. Fin stepped up beside him so they were both looking out towards the horizon.

Ryan pointed over to the left. “Don’t go in there, okay?” His brows furrowed. “See the darker channels? That’s a huge rip. And over there…” he pointed further off to his right “…see how the waves aren’t breaking consistently there? That’s another one. You should avoid that side of the …” he trailed off, feeling her eyes on him rather than where he was pointing.