Fighting Temptation (Men Of Honor) (23 page)

My phone interrupts my thoughts with a chime. I reach over and grab it seeing a text from Kayla.

Kayla:
Be ready for 7 on Friday. Make sure you dress in dark clothes and wear a hat. We are going to bust this fucker.

With everything that happened with Wyatt yesterday I had forgotten about Kayla, which makes me feel terrible. I’m still reeling that Cooper could even do this. I want to talk to Jaxson about it but I won’t because I know he won’t keep it from Cooper.

I hear the shower turn on in the hall bathroom telling me Jaxson is awake. I decide to get up and have one myself, I try to be quick so I can make him breakfast when he’s done. I’m thankful my ribs are doing better and I don’t need to wrap them anymore. I change into a pair of faded jean shorts and a soft pink tank. It’s supposed to be a scorcher the next few days. After I’m done my hair I hear Jaxson moving around in his room next door.

I walk out and see his door slightly a jar. I peek my head in, “Hey what do you want…” my words die in my throat and I suck in a sharp painful breath at the sight before me. Jaxson is faced away from me, shirtless, a huge tattoo covers half of his defined back. It’s the most beautiful angel I have ever seen. Her detailing so distinctive you would swear she was real. There’s a darkness that swirls around her but it does nothing to take away from her beauty. The whole tattoo is dark, mostly black and shaded, except for the angel’s eyes. Her eyes are a bright aquamarine… the same color as mine. Although the tattoo is massive and beautiful it does nothing to cover the horrendous scars that mark his skin. It looks like someone whipped him or cut him… I don’t know which and I’m not sure I want to. My eyes roam up his back and collides with his hard gaze. My cheeks are wet from tears and my heart pounds painfully with hurt. I can tell he’s trying to gauge my reaction. I try to talk, to say something, but I can’t seem to say anything, my words frozen in my throat.

I clear my throat, “I’m sorry, I… I didn’t realize you were changing.” I close the door and quickly make my way downstairs into the kitchen.

Leaning over the sink I put a shaking hand to my stomach feeling like I’m going to be sick, “Oh god, oh god,” I choke out quietly, trying to hold in my sobs.

How could someone do that to him? To anyone? What does the tattoo mean?

I snap out of my thoughts when I hear Jaxson come into the kitchen behind me. I quickly wipe away my tears and try to hide the fact they were just there and start busying myself around the kitchen.

I clear my throat, “What do you want for breakfast? I can make eggs, pancakes…”

“Julia,” Jaxson tries interrupting me but I keep moving and talk over him.

“I don’t have any bacon but I can make french toast or if you like we can go into town and eat at the diner.”

“Julia stop!” he reaches out and pulls me against him.

I don’t hide my tears anymore. I reach up on my tip-toes and wrap my arms tightly around his neck, “Oh my god, what did they do to you?”

He lifts me up and I wrap my legs around his waist. He walks over and sets me on the counter but stays between my legs as I hold him tight.

“Don’t cry for me Jules,” he whispers gruffly rubbing my back.

“I hate that someone hurt you,” I squeeze him tighter, wanting to take away his pain.

“We made it out, it’s over.” When he says ‘we’ it makes me remember he wasn’t the only one hurt. I lean back and look at him, “Were Sawyer and Cade the other ones with you?”

He nods his head. I close my eyes and cry harder, “Are they okay?”

Jaxson leans his forehead against mine. “Ya baby they’re okay. We all are. We’re a little fucked up maybe, but what else is new?” He grins and I know he’s trying to make me laugh but there’s nothing funny about it.

“Don’t make jokes.”

His expression turns serious, “Do you understand now Julia? Do you get why I sent you away. I see you hurt like this and it fucking kills me. Trust me when I say what you would have seen in that hospital was 100 times worse than what you just saw.”

I think about this for a moment, then nod, “Yes I understand, but it doesn’t change the fact that I wanted to be there for you. Yes it would have hurt me to see you like that but I wanted to help you, I wanted to make it better for you.”

“After seeing the tattoo don’t you understand that you did? The angel is you Julia, you were always there with me in the darkness. Every time those fuckers came in to torture us I went into my mind and I thought about you.” My breath seizes in my lungs at his words. “I would think about your smile and your beautiful eyes. Then I would think about the night I was buried into your warm body and I would completely lose myself in you. It made everything I went through bearable, it made me fight to get the fuck out of there.”

His beautiful words are my undoing. I grab his shirt and crush my mouth to his. It takes him no time to come out of his stunned state and kiss me back. The kiss is raw and powerful as we assault each other with our mouths. I gasp for air when he moves his mouth from mine and trails his lips along my neck. Pushing me to my back on the counter he leans over me while still standing between my legs. He pulls the top of my tank top and bra down together freeing my breasts. He groans and latches on to my nipple with his hot mouth. Arching, I moan and thread my fingers in his still damp hair. My body burns hot with need; I rock my hips and whimper when I come into contact with his hard stomach. I keep rocking frantically into him, needing any pressure to help relieve the throbbing that is happening between my legs. Jaxson reaches between our bodies and snaps open my button and quickly shoves his hand in my panties.

“Ah fuck!” he curses harshly, rubbing my wetness up and down me, making me whimper.

Once he lubes his fingers with my arousal he roughly slams two fingers inside me. “Ahh yes!” I grab onto his biceps, my fingers getting lost in the grooves of his muscles. My moans and whimpers are so loud from the sensations taking over my body that I don’t hear the knock on the door, not until Jaxson tenses.

I still and listen again, praying it’s not… yup it’s my door.

“Are you fucking serious?” Jaxson asks exasperated.

All I can do is whimper and it’s not a pleasure-filled whimper either, it’s torture-filled. Tears leak from my eyes because I’m throbbing painfully with so much need.

I gasp in shock when Jaxson starts thrusting his fingers inside of me again. I look into his ice blue gaze that burns hot with lust. “I won’t leave you baby but you only have a few seconds here, so try not to be too loud.” He has a wicked grin on his face, and it’s so sexy that I grab his head and crush his lips to mine again. I rock my hips into the rhythm of his fingers and my breathing speeds up with anticipation of my climax. Jaxson lifts his mouth, “That’s it baby, let go.” He presses down on my clit while he thrusts his fingers roughly inside me. That was it. I come apart… a total shaking mess. Jaxson crashes his mouth to mine again, inhaling my moans.

After I’m limp and sated I notice the knocking has stopped. All of a sudden I feel a vibrating between my legs, “Eek!” I yelp, startled.

Jaxson chuckles, “It’s just my phone.”

He pulls his hand out from my shorts and I gasp when he takes the 2 fingers that were inside of me and sticks them in his mouth, sucking my wetness off of them.

He groans, his face savage, “Go to the bathroom and get decent; it’s Cooper.” With that he turns and walks away to answer the door.

I get up and right my shirt then shakily I hurry into the bathroom, my legs feeling like jello from the intense orgasm that just crashed through me. I splash water on my face to try and rid the flushed skin tone. I hear Jaxson and Cooper talking from the kitchen… Hearing Cooper’s voice makes me remember Kayla and I start to feel angry. I take a deep breath to try and tamp it down, not wanting to give anything away.

Exiting the bathroom I walk into the kitchen. Jaxson’s lust filled expression has disappeared, in its place is frustration and anger. Cooper turns and has the same look, but he also has a hard time looking me in the eye… I’m assuming he can guess what Jaxson and I were up to.

“Hi Julia.”

“Cooper,” I say in acknowledgement. I must have let the anger I’m feeling creep into my voice because both he and Jaxson look at me now in confusion.

Cooper clears his throat, “Uh I wanted to come by and let you know that I served Jennings the restraining order today and I also laid into him about coming over here last night. He shouldn’t be bothering you again.”

I let out a breath, feeling bad for being rude to him, “Thank you,” I say a little more softer this time.

He nods his head, “Also, I found out it was Jenny who told him about the restraining order. I fired her this morning.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” I say feeling guilty, even though I know I shouldn’t.

Jaxson grunts, “The bitch is lucky that’s all she got.”

“If you see Wyatt anywhere I want you to call me right away. If by chance he shows up at the same place as you he has to leave immediately, not the other way around.”

“Ok,” I say feeling guilty again, which is so stupid because I know he deserves this. “He must have been pretty mad huh?” I ask chewing my nail nervously.

Cooper shrugs, “Ya and also surprised. I think he was hoping he scared you enough yesterday to drop it. I’m glad you didn’t, he knows now that you’re serious so I do believe he will leave you alone. Either way I think it’s good Jaxson stays here for a while with you.”

I look over at Jaxson, his expression is completely void of any emotion and I know right away we won’t be picking up where we left off, much to my disappointment.

“Anyways I better get back, but I wanted to come by and tell you in person, that it has been taken care of.”

I narrow my gaze at him, “Where are you going?” I don’t mean for it to come out so suspicious but it does.

“Uh back to work.”

“You sure about that?”
Ugh shut up Julia!

Cooper looks at me like I’ve lost my mind, I can also tell he’s annoyed with my question. “Yes I’m sure, why?”

I shrug, “Just curious. Thanks for stopping by.” I walk over to the sink and get a glass of water for myself. Out of the corner of my eye I see Cooper look over at Jaxson, asking silently if he knows what’s going on. Jaxson shrugs, letting him know he has no idea.

Damn, I hope I didn’t ruin anything and he figured us out. Coop shakes his head and mumbles a goodbye then he’s out the door. I feel Jaxson staring at me but I ignore it and pay close attention to the glass of water in my hand.

“What was that all about?”

“What?” I feign ignorance.

“Your suspicious questions, that’s what?”

“I just wondered if he was going back to work.”

“Where else would he be going?”

“I don’t know Jaxson, do you?” Shit! Now I’m accusing him too.

“What the fuck is with you?”

I let out a deep breath, “Sorry, never mind… forget I said anything.”

I decide to change the subject to another topic, but not any less uncomfortable, “So are we going to talk about what just happened?”

He shrugs, “Nothing much to say, heat of the moment, we got wrapped up in our emotions.”

“Really Jaxson, that’s how we’re going to play this?”

“What do you want me to say Julia? I don’t know what the hell to do. Do I want to fuck your brains out? Ya I do, but what do we do after that?”

“Why do we have to decide? Why can’t we just see where it goes?”

“Jesus Julia, I don’t know how to do that, I’ve never had a fucking girlfriend before. You know that.”

I roll my eyes, “Well it’s quite easy Jaxson, see it would be exactly what we are now except we get to have sex, lots of sex. Sounds like a damn good deal to me.”

He doesn’t smile like I hope for him to.

“And what do we do when our time is up? Because once we change our relationship, there’s no going back to just being friends.”

“Why do we have to have a time limit?”

“Because Julia, one day you’re going to want to get married and have kids, something I never ever plan to have.”

My stomach sinks when he says this and my heart twists with pain, “Ya well, as much as I really want kids one day Jaxson, it’s never going to happen because I can’t have children.” The words are raw and painful when they come out.

“What the hell are you talking about you can’t have kids?”

I swallow thickly and look away when I explain, “I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. I found out after I came back from your graduation. I had a physical with my doctor after we… well you know, and it came up. I don’t ovulate because I don’t have menstrual cycles often like I should. It’s why I am on the pill. The doctor told me my chances of ever having children are slim to none.”

“Shit!” Jaxson walks over and hugs me now, “I’m sorry Julia, you would make a good mom.”

I shrug my shoulders and stay silent, not wanting to talk about it, it’s too painful.

“Look, let’s just take one step at a time, let’s get back what we had before, then we can go from there. I don’t want to lose you again Julia.”

“You didn’t lose me Jaxson, you pushed me away. There’s a difference.”

With that I slip out of his grasp and walk away, he does nothing to stop me, but I didn’t expect him too. I’m tired of being rejected and I decide from here on out, no more attempts on my part. The rest is up to him.