Final Score (62 page)

‘I’ll take care of them both, Ryan. You know I will.’

‘Do I?’

‘Things have changed. Everything’s changed.’

‘Yeah. Everything has. Just – just look after them. Because… even though I want that to be
my
job, it can’t be. And that breaks my fucking heart, so, I need you to do that for me. Okay? I need you to look after them and love them.’

Jim stared at him, his eyes were warm and kind. But all that did was add to Ryan’s confusion. His mind filled with dashed hopes and a life he wanted so badly, but could never have.

‘I love her so much, Ryan. And I know you probably don’t want to hear me say that, but, it’s true. I love Amber so, so much. And I love that boy of yours, too. They’re my world now, okay? They’re my whole world. Both of them.’

Ryan had to break that stare now because those words were cutting through him like the sharpest of blades, causing a pain so raw to hit him he almost couldn’t breathe. The world he wanted belonged to somebody else, and this was the hardest thing he’d ever had to face up to.

‘I’ll look after them. I promise you that, Ryan. I promise you.’

And all Ryan could do now was hope that this promise was one Jim Allen could actually keep.

*

‘Amber! Max is here!’ Debbie shouted through from the hall. ‘Make him a cup of tea, will you? I’m going to call the hotel and make sure everything’s going to plan with the reception.’

Amber looked up as Max walked into the kitchen, his expression changing immediately the second he saw her. ‘That doesn’t look like the face of a woman who’s about to marry the man of her dreams.’

‘We’re already married. It’s a vow renewal.’

Max came closer, leaning back against the counter, smiling at Rico as he continued to bang his beaker on the marble work surface.

‘Rico, baby, no. Don’t do that,’ Amber sighed, turning around to switch the kettle on.

‘It’s okay, kiddo. I’ve had enough cups of tea this morning to last me a lifetime.’

She turned back to face Max, picking up Rico and taking his beaker from him, which, thankfully, didn’t seem to bother him. ‘He’s too young to realise he won’t be seeing his daddy again for a while yet,’ she said, kissing her baby boy’s forehead.

‘Ryan will be over as much as he can, Amber. You know that.’

‘Yeah,’ she whispered, smiling at Rico as he gurgled away at her, waving his arms up and down. ‘I know he will. But it isn’t the same, is it?’

‘It won’t be forever.’

‘Won’t it? He could go over there and love it. He could realise it’s what he’s always wanted, I mean, we’re talking about Ryan Fisher here.’

‘And he’s a very different Ryan Fisher to the one who arrived here a couple of years ago.’

She looked at Rico, stroking his dark hair off his face as he lay his head against her shoulder, clinging onto her t-shirt, his eyes slowly closing. ‘Yeah. A lot of things are different, Max.’

‘It’s his decision, Amber. You do know that, don’t you?’

Her eyes met his. ‘It wasn’t to begin with, though. Was it?’

‘Maybe not.’ Max looked briefly out of the window, at the sun shining down from a perfect blue sky. ‘But, in the end, he chose to go.’

‘Because he had no choice,’ Amber whispered, kissing Rico’s forehead again, cuddling him closer to her. He was a part of Ryan she would have forever, and that was something she was truly grateful for; to have a part of Ryan with her. Always.

Max turned to face her again, his expression concerned now; caring. ‘You deserve to be happy, Amber, and Ryan knows that. It’s all he really wants for you.’

‘And I want
him
to be happy, Max.’ She lay Rico down on the couch, watching for a second as his eyes closed properly, his hands clinging onto the toy rabbit she’d just given him. ‘And I don’t know whether he is.’

‘He will be. This change of scenery he’s about to have thrust upon him really will be good for him. He’s got a lot to get his head around when he gets over there – it’s a different game in a lot of respects. And then there’s a whole new lifestyle to get used to. It’s what he needs, Amber. Things to take his mind off it all.’

She couldn’t say anything. There was nothing
to
say, because Max was right. Everything he was saying was right. But there was a part of Amber that still wished it could all be different.

‘Now, I just popped in here to make sure my most beautiful client was all set for her big day…’ He moved closer, pulling her in for a hug, and she clung onto him. This man who’d suddenly become such a big part of her life. The only man she could trust to make sure Ryan was okay. ‘So, you enjoy yourself, do you hear me? You go out there and you renew those vows to a man who is so in love with you, it’s sickening.’

She couldn’t help but smile.

‘And when I get back from L.A., we’ll talk about some of those offers of work that keep landing on my desk, alright?’

She nodded, hugging him again. ‘Tell him… tell him I…’ She pulled away, folding her arms as she turned to look at a now-sleeping Rico, his little body curled up, his tiny fingers clinging onto that rabbit he loved so much. ‘Tell him we’re thinking about him – me and Rico. Tell him. Please. Tell him we…we love him.’

Max smiled, squeezing her hand gently. ‘I’ll tell him. I promise.’ He checked his watch. ‘Right, well, I’d better get going. I said I’d meet him at the airport in half an hour.’ He looked at her one more time. ‘You take care, kiddo. And you have the best day today, okay? I’ll see you when I get back to London.’

She leaned back against the counter as he left the kitchen, looking over at Rico again. He was still curled up, still asleep, his mop of dark hair all messed up. He was making little snuffling noises, and she couldn’t help but smile. Ryan Fisher had given her the most incredible little boy. He’d given her something she’d never thought she’d have. And it was something they were always going to share. Something which meant he would always be a part of her life, and that was a comfort. Because, all of a sudden, she was finding it really hard to let go.

Closing her eyes for a second, she took a deep breath, before crouching down beside Rico and gently stroking his hair, kissing his warm and tiny cheek. ‘I love you so much, baby boy. And I’m sorry, okay? For the way things have worked out. I’m so sorry.’

Standing back up she pushed a hand through her hair and checked the clock on the wall.

‘What’s up with you?’ Ronnie asked, walking into the kitchen.

She looked at him. ‘I need you to take me to the airport.’

He stared at her. ‘I’m sorry? What did you just ask me?’

‘I need you to take me to the airport.’

He was still staring at her. ‘I’m confused now.’

‘Yeah, well, welcome to my world.’ She was busy throwing some of Rico’s things into his baby bag.

‘Amber… what the hell are you doing?’

‘Can you take me to the airport or not, Ronnie?’

‘Well, yes, but… why?’

She scooped Rico up into her arms, hugging him as he snuggled in against her, still holding on for dear life to that rabbit. ‘Just get there as fast as you can, okay?’ She threw Rico’s baby bag at him, which he caught, even though he was still staring at her.

‘And on the way there are you gonna explain what’s going on?’

‘Yes. And we’re going out the back way. I really can’t be bothered to explain to everyone where I’m going.’

‘And you don’t think they’ll miss you?’

‘I’ll text Debbie from the car. Now, come on. Let’s get going.’

‘Amber…’

She swung around to look at him, her eyes telling him she was serious. She was doing this. She had to. She thought she’d be able to get through today as though this wasn’t happening, as though Ryan’s leaving didn’t bother her, and she’d tried. She’d really tried. And she’d almost succeeded. Almost. ‘I really need to do this, Ronnie. So, please. Can we just go?’

‘No, hang on. Come here, will you? Just for a minute. Please.’

She sighed, but she did as he asked. ‘We really need to go.’

‘Are you sure about this? Whatever it is you’re going over there to do, are you sure?’

‘I can’t say I’ll ever be one hundred percent sure of anything any more, Ronnie.’ She looked up into his eyes. ‘Except that… I need you, okay? As my friend, I need you. And I’m sorry…’

‘There’s nothing to be sorry for, Amber. I just want you to listen to your heart and do whatever it is you need to do. No matter how crazy it is.’

She couldn’t help smiling, standing up on tiptoes to kiss him quickly, his arm catching her by the waist to keep her there just a little while longer.

‘I do love you, Ronnie White. You know that, don’t you?’

‘Yeah. And I love you, too. Even though you can be the most infuriating woman ever to have walked this earth.’

‘I can be a real pain in the arse sometimes, can’t I?’

Ronnie arched an eyebrow. ‘Sometimes?’

She smiled, kissing him again, hugging him close with her free arm. ‘I need you, okay? To stop me from doing
really
stupid things.’

‘You think I can
stop
you?’

She smiled again, pulling away from him slightly.

‘Look, Amber, I’m gonna ask you this again, because it’s what I do. I nag you into submission. That’s my job, apparently, so, whatever you’re about to do, are you sure?’

She looked at him, nodding slowly, cuddling Rico closer to her, kissing the top of his head.’

‘Okay then,’ Ronnie sighed, fishing his car keys out of his pocket. ‘Let’s get out of here.’

*

Ryan hauled his case out of the back of Gary’s car, dumping it down on the ground outside Departures.

‘They’re sending the rest of your stuff over in the next couple of days, right?’ Gary asked, shutting the car door and leaning back against it.

‘Yeah. I’ll just pick it up from LAX as soon as it arrives.’

‘I can’t believe you’re really going, mate. I guess I always thought you might change your mind, y’know? After everything that happened with Jim.’

‘That was the one thing that made me realise I had to go,’ Ryan said, sticking his hands in his pockets as he looked around him, taking in one of his last glimpses of his beloved north-east England, for a while, at least. And even though he fully intended to be making regular trips back here, it still felt like he was leaving this place forever. ‘She’s never gonna let him go, Gary.’ Ryan’s voice was quiet, the resigned tone almost permanent now. ‘Not after this.’

‘Come here,’ Gary stood up and enveloped his best friend in a huge hug. ‘I’m gonna frigging miss you. It’s gonna be so fucking boring without you around.’

Ryan smiled, hugging Gary back. ‘I’m sure you’ll find yourself another partner-in-crime. Maybe one that doesn’t give you quite so much grief, huh?’

‘Yeah. The grief I can do without. Seriously, though, I really am gonna miss you.’

Ryan stuck his hands back in his pockets, once more looking out around him. ‘I’m gonna miss you, too.’ He turned to face his friend. ‘And thanks, Gary. For everything. I really mean that. If it hadn’t been for you and Debbie…’

‘Forget all that. Come on! You’re going to fucking L.A., man! How big is that? You’re gonna make David Beckham look like an amateur.’

Ryan couldn’t help but laugh. ‘Well, I’m not sure about that.’ He stared down at his trainers, a sudden sadness washing over him that didn’t escape Gary’s notice.

‘You okay?’

‘When she was there, last night, I… I just wanted to hold her and tell her to come with me -
beg
her to come with me, and I could have done. I could have done that, but… it would have been pointless. And yet, I still wanted to try. Because leaving here is killing me, Gary. Leaving her, leaving Rico… I thought they were my future, y’know? I thought we were gonna be a family, and when I think…’ He stopped talking, throwing back his head and blinking away tears he’d promised himself he wouldn’t cry. ‘I still love her, so fucking much.’

‘Jesus, mate, I really had no idea things were so bad.’

‘He won,’ Ryan whispered. ‘And I’m not gonna stand here and say it was a fair game, because it wasn’t. He played dirty, and he broke the rules. But, ultimately, it doesn’t really matter how you play the game, does it? It’s the end result that counts. And I can’t change that final score.’

Gary scuffed his heels against the tyres of his Mercedes, shoving his hands in his pockets as he looked at Ryan. ‘You’re gonna be okay, mate. You know that, don’t you? You’re gonna be better than okay.’

Ryan nodded, wiping his eyes with his forearm, throwing his head back again as he took a deep breath. ‘Yeah. I know. I know.’

Gary reached out and gently squeezed Ryan’s arm. ‘You take care of yourself, okay? And call me the second you get there. You lucky bastard.’

Ryan smiled, giving Gary one more hug. ‘Keep an eye on her, please.’

Gary nodded.

‘Okay, I’d… I’d better get in there. Max’ll be waiting.’

‘As soon as you get there,’ Gary shouted as he climbed back into his car.

Ryan watched as he drove off, taking one more look around. It seemed fairly quiet, but that was good. If there was one thing Ryan didn’t want today it was any attention being drawn to what was happening. They’d deliberately chosen today for his departure to the States because Max had told him everyone – and by that he meant the media – would be far more concerned with Amber and Jim’s “wedding.” So they’d tried to keep all of this as much of a secret as it could be. And so far it seemed to be working.

But just the thought of Amber with Jim caused another wave of pain to wash over him and he had to close his eyes again to stop more tears from escaping.

‘Ryan?’

His eyes shot open and he swung around at the sound of that voice, his heart feeling as though it had stopped dead, before it struck up a rhythm so fast he couldn’t catch his breath. She stood there, tanned and pretty, his beautiful baby boy balanced on one of those incredible hips. And he couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across his face as Rico stretched out his arms and reached out for him, shouting
“dada, dada!”
over and over again until Ryan took him.

‘Hey there, little man. I didn’t think I’d be seeing you again for a while.’ He kissed Rico quickly, before looking over at Amber. She had her arms folded, her eyes locked onto his. ‘I… I didn’t think…’