Finally (Mature Men, #3) (12 page)

Oh. Fuck yeah this was how intimacy was supposed to be.

Although I longed to slump against the bed and wallow in the afterglow, I instead made an effort to hold him close and tighten my vaginal muscles around his cock until he groaned my name and then shot his cum in my pussy.

Oh God! I closed my eyes and clutched him close, eager to keep every drop of his seed inside me.

When he stopped coming, he relaxed his body on mine, burying his lips against my neck and muttering incoherently to me.

We lay still joined for several wonderful minutes until he finally eased out of me.

We belatedly disrobed and then he turned me onto my side, spooning his body against my.

Oh. So nice. I leaned back against him and sighed with pleasure as he cupped one hand over my cum-filled pussy and the other over my breasts. I fell asleep savoring the feel of his semi-erect shaft against my ass thinking one day I'd like to feel it powering as deep in my ass as it had just done in my pussy.

I woke several hours later to find myself sprawled on my stomach with a pillow under my hips. With his cock already in possession of my pussy, he groaned with pleasure every time he thrust in and out of me with a rough hunger that quickly filled me with lust and love.

Reaching back to grip his hips, I moaned with delight because each time he drove his hard dick home, it forced my clit roughly against the pillow. It only took a few hard, almost ruthless thrusts to send a jolt of absolute lust roaring through my pussy and my body. Within two minutes of waking up to find him already fucking me raw, I was sobbing with bliss and coming hard all over his cock.

Clutching his hands over my breasts, he pounded my pussy even harder. His climax came quickly. I held him tight as he pumped his seed into my pussy.

Oh. Damn. What a man and what a wonderful fuck.

When he pulled out of me, he kissed a trail down my back to my ass. After caressing and massaging my neither cheeks, he parted them and proceeded to lick and eat me to another blistering orgasm.

Fuck. When I came, he rolled onto his back.

Lying on top of him feeling his heartbeat return to normal, I waited for him to say something to me. Anything to show me what we'd shared had meant something special to him.

His silence convinced me that he'd gotten what he wanted and didn't feel any need to pretend to feelings he'd probably never had for me. Yes the sex had been more than wonderful but physical intimacy wasn't enough. I wanted more and needed him to want more too.

But he clearly didn't. I slipped off him to lie beside him on my back. "So you just wanted a fuck after all," I said, hoping he'd make me believe otherwise.

He inhaled slowly and then swore. "If all I wanted was a fuck, I know plenty of women who'd happily give me as many as I wanted without my having to go through the shit I get from you!" He rolled away and sat up.

Unwilling to risk his leaving angry, I reached out to catch his hand in the darkened room. For a moment, I felt him tense and half expected him to pull away and make me beg him not to leave.

Instead, he lay back on the bed, close to, but not touching me.

Suspecting I'd have to make the next move, I shimmied across the mattress until I could press my body against his side. After a long moment, he suddenly turned from his back to face me. When I moved closer, he slipped his arm around me and pressed a slow, warm kiss against my mouth.

I kissed him back and pressed closer.

Reaching a hand between our bodies, he stroked my pussy and continued to place soft, warm kisses against my lips.

Savoring the delightful sensation of knowing my pussy was full of his cum, I closed my thighs on his hand. As sleep descended, I felt happy and thought of Don. "Don." He would be happy to know I might have my happy ever after ending with Darkwater after all. Considering Darkwater's tenderness, I decided Am was right. It was time to put Don's pictures away. We could talk in the morning and clear the air between us. Maybe then we could decide if we wanted to try again.

* * *

D
arkwater

When I was sure Sherlyn was asleep, I slipped out of bed, picked up my clothes, and went into the living room. As I dressed, I struggled with frustration, anger, and pain. Recalling how she had called out Don's name again just as she fell asleep, I reluctantly admitted that I couldn't compete with him. She would probably always love him. I could accept that fact and try to move on with my life. Or I could pursue a relationship with her while trying to come to terms with knowing I was and probably always would be second best with her.

I had to admit I was tempted to settle on the latter solution until my pride kicked in. Why the hell should I settle for his leftovers? She wasn't the first woman to fall in love with me and I knew she wouldn't be the last. I'd just have to cultivate an attitude that made falling in love with someone else easier. That meant admitting failure with her and walking away this time without regrets or constantly looking back.

After briefly returning to her bedroom, I quietly let myself out of her apartment and drove home to a house that felt as cold and lonely as the ache in my heart.

* * *

S
herlyn

I woke the next morning feeling hopeful. Even though I knew before I opened my eyes that Darkwater wasn't in the bed, I inhaled slowly, expecting to smell coffee brewing along with whatever he'd whipped up for breakfast. Not that I was interested in eating. While I was hungry, it wasn't for food. Recalling the pure ecstasy I'd felt when he'd eaten me, I decided I wanted to return the favor by sucking him to orgasm. Smiling at the thought of our then showering together and finally hearing him sing I was his remedy again, I opened my eyes.

As I had known, I was alone in the bed. However, instead of a covered tray on my nightstand, I saw Don's picture. My smile widened, pleased that he'd made the gesture of bringing it back into the bedroom and placing it on my nightstand. Hopefully, he would appreciate my gesture of removing it.

Sitting up, I picked up the picture. After slowly tracing my finger along the contours of his face, I sighed. Then before I could change my mind, I removed the picture from the frame. I carefully placed the picture face down in my drawer. With that done, I was ready to try again with Darkwater. I rolled out of bed, spent fifteen minutes in the bathroom, and then walked to the kitchen where I expected to find Darkwater making breakfast. What I found was an empty apartment.

It was only when I returned to my bedroom and sank onto the side of my bed that I saw the keys I'd given him. My heart felt broken into countless pieces as I stared at them because I knew his returning them was his way of telling me it was over between us. This time for good.

Although hurt and angry, I forced myself to face reality. Who could I blame except myself? When would I learn that nothing good ever came of having unprotected sex with him? Each time he got what he wanted, he turned cold or in this case, he just left in the dark of night without a damned care for how I'd feel when I woke to find him gone and my keys on the nightstand.

I wanted to sit and cry but I didn't have the time. I made a cup of instant coffee, dressed, and left for work. Although I wanted to talk I didn't want to hear Am going on about how badly I'd treated Darkwater. Talking to Janine at the moment was out of the question. And I didn't want to drag other friends into the equation.

For once, fate decided to give me a break. I made my way to my office without seeing or encountering either Janine or Shane. The urge to have a good, gut-wrenching cry lingered well into the morning. When my cell phone rang just after eleven and I saw the call was from Shane, I didn't know rather to feel angry, annoyed, or just indifferent.

I walked away from my workstation and answered on the fourth ring. "Hello?"

"Hi, Sherlyn. I know you're probably angry about how things turned out with Janine last night, but I really need to talk to you and—."

"Okay."

"What? Did you say okay?"

After waking to find Darkwater had just walked out without a word, I needed to see a man who made no secret of finding me attractive. Okay. I know I shouldn't have agreed to see him, but between the two of them, I felt as if Janine and Darkwater had worked me over. I nodded. "Yes."

He blew out a breath. "Can you manage lunch? I'm free from now through two o'clock."

"Yes, but not in the building," I said quickly. The thought of Janine looking down from her office and seeing us together sent a chill through me. Yeah. I know that if the thought worried me, I shouldn't have agreed to see him, but I needed a pick me up.

"Name the place and I'll meet you there. I assume you'd rather we arrived separately."

As if we were cheating. He on Janine and me on Darkwater. I shook my head, dismissing the thought. "Yes. How about the park two blocks from here at one?"

"I can bring sandwiches," he offered.

"Thanks. I'll see you then," I said and hung up before I changed my mind.

Although I pretended to work, I didn't accomplish much and left work to walk to the park feeling confused.

As soon as I entered the park, I spotted Shane seated on a bench watching the West entrance with several bags beside him. He smiled and rose as I walked up to the bench.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," I said, forcing a smile to my face.

He waited until I sat before resuming his seat. "How are you?"

"I've had much better days. What about you?"

He shrugged. "I'm not sure. I wanted to explain about Janine."

I shook my head. "She came to see me last night and accused me of stabbing her in the back because I wanted you for myself."

"I told her you'd sang her praises but she was convinced otherwise. I'm sorry."

I sighed. "She's angry with me now but we've been friends since junior high. We'll get through this."

"I'm glad to hear it. I would hate to think I'd damaged your friendship."

"We've been through too much together to allow any man to do that," I said confidently.

"Well, damn. I feel marginalized," he said.

I laughed and then slipped my arm through his. "Don't. You're one of the most exciting men I've ever met."

"That takes some of the sting away," he said and disengaged his arm from mine. He opened his bags. "I have turkey and provolone, ham and Swiss, corn beef and American, and chicken salad, all on wheat. What's your preference?"

I shrugged. I really wasn't hungry but knew it would be a long afternoon if I didn't eat something. "Turkey and provolone," I said.

He offered me a sandwich.

When I reached for it, he drew it back and locked his gaze on my lips. "Nothing's really free."

"Just like a man—always so damned devious."

"What do you plan to do about it?"

After a long, tense moment, I leaned forward and touched my mouth to his. "Satisfied?"

"Hell no," he said and pressed a soft, gentle kiss against my lips that although brief and devoid of passion managed to make me feel better before finally giving me the sandwich. "I have cranberry juice and cola to drink," he said.

"Cranberry," I said.

We ate half our sandwiches in silence before I looked up to find him staring at me. "What? What's wrong?"

"What about you and Darkwater?"

I tensed. "What about us?"

"Have you rekindled your romance?"

I could have kissed him for calling it a romance instead of an affair or something even sleazier. "There was no romance to rekindle. But why do you ask?"

"Because he called me this morning."

I paused with the sandwich halfway to my mouth and turned to stare at him. "He did? What did he say?"

"He warned me to stay away from you."

This from the man who had probably left in the middle of the night after returning my keys. As I had told Am, he was clearly one of those men who didn't want anyone else to have a woman—even when he no longer wanted her.

"How did you respond, Shane?"

"I told him to fuck off and that I'd stay away from you when you asked me to." He paused. "Do you want me to stay away, Sherlyn?"

"No," I admitted. "That's not what I want, but it's what I need you to do."

He narrowed his gaze.

"Not because of him but because of the need to repair my relationship with Janine. I can't do that and go out with you too."

"Don't you think you're allowing her too much say over how you handle your love life?"

I sighed and shook my head. "I don't know. All I know is that I have no family in the area. My friends are very important to me. Even though I'd love to get to know you, I just can't. I hope you understand."

"I don't know if I do or not, but I'll honor your wishes, Sherlyn."

So, like Darkwater, his interest was purely sexual.

"But if you change your mind, I'm sure you'll find me ready and eager to pick up where we left off at your apartment."

I leaned against his shoulder. "Thanks for saying that."

"I'm not just saying it. I mean it. I mean this too: if you ever need to talk or just need a shoulder to cry on, mine's available—at least until I start dating someone who might object to your using it."

The offer surprised and touched me. "Thanks, Shane," I said and leaned forward to kiss his cheek.

Of course he turned his head and our lips brushed and then clung together for several warm, sweet minutes. During the kisses that followed, I struggled with the urge to lean closer. I longed to press my breasts against his chest. Wrestling my desire under control, I finally pulled away from him.

"Part of the reason you're saying no is because of him. Isn't it?"

I shrugged.

"You're in love with him. Aren't you?"

I sighed before finally nodding.

"Lucky bastard."

"I don't think he considers himself lucky. He's not in love with me."

"What makes you say that?"

"Experience. He just wants unprotected sex with no commitment or consequences." I said and then bit my lip. Why the hell was I being so damned honest with him admitting to feelings I hadn't even shared with Amber and Janine?