Read FIND YOUR HAPPY: An Inspirational Guide to Loving Life to Its Fullest Online
Authors: Shannon Kaiser
FIND YOUR HAPPY: An Inspirational Guide to Loving Life to Its Fullest
FIND YOUR HAPPY
An Inspirational Guide to Loving Life to Its Fullest
Shannon Kaiser
Copyright
© 2012 Shannon Kaiser
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
ISBN: 978-1-4525-5541-6(sc)
ISBN: 978-1-4525-5542-3(e)
ISBN: 978-1-4525-5543-0(bh)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2012914018
Balboa Press books may be ordered through booksellers or by contacting:
Balboa Press
A Division of Hay House
1663 Liberty Drive
Bloomington, IN 47403
1-(877) 407-4847
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
Cover Design by Shannon Kaiser
The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.
Balboa Press rev. date:10/24/2012
Table of Contents
Life Is A Game, Are You Playing It?
Become A Master Manifester. Set Goals.
Praise
for
Find
Your
Happy
“I love this! Shannon’s perspective is sunny and bright and will light your day with heart and bliss!
Find Your Happy
is a fabulous gift for anyone you know, anytime!”
—Kristine Carlson
, New York Times Best-selling author of
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff for Women
and
Moms
“Shannon Kaiser is an incredible woman on a mission to help people find peace, happiness and fulfillment in their lives. Her desire to serve others shines through all of her work.”
—Gabrielle Bernstein
, Best-selling author of
Spirit Junkie
and
May Cause Miracles
“Shannon Kaiser not only believes in the message of happiness, she lives it and breathes it. Every time I talk to Shannon, happiness finds a way in. Pick up this book and breathe in some happiness for yourself!”
—Christine Arylo
, self-love author of
Madly in Love with ME, the Daring Adventure to Becoming Your Own Best Friend
“I’ve worked in the wellness industry for decades, and I’ve read a lot of great inspirational books. Through her candid sharing of personal experiences and depth of understanding, Shannon is able to bring forth universal wisdom and truths in a fresh, lively voice that speaks directly to me.
Find Your Happy
stands out for its simple, easy-to-implement principles and honest perspective. Shannon’s book is a therapeutic adventure for your soul, and it will transform the way you see yourself and the world. Get ready to fall in love with your entire life!”
—Robyn Griggs Lawrence
, author of
The Wabi-Sabi House
“There are a lot of people dishing out feel good meditations and words of wisdom. But Shannon Kaiser is a true sparkling star, who authentically shares her message of hope and happiness in this profound intimate guide. By picking up this book you are not only choosing to see life in a new perspective you are saying yes to yourself, you are worth it, and your dreams will be realized.”
—Shanon Hoffman
, Publisher of
Healing Lifestyles & Spas
For my beautiful Mother.
You are the most amazing Mom and friend in the world.
I win.
It’s
Not
Life
That
Matters;
It’s
the
Courage
That
We
Bring
to
It
I
took a sip of my morning tea hoping that the new day would be better than any day before. I had somehow tripped over the cracks of life and couldn’t seem to pull myself back up. I had woken up feeling eager to start a new day, but like every other day of my life, within the first few hours, things had gotten off track.
I was stuck in a downward vortex of fear, anxiety, and self-ridicule. I remember reading my Yogi tea bag message, “It’s not life that matters; it’s the courage that we bring to it.” I held back my tears because my courage was feeling impossibly deflated. I was sick of trying so hard just to live my own life.
How much courage do we really need to live our life? I realized that I had felt like a fraud my entire life. I was renting someone else’s story, trying to pretend that it was mine. My only consistency was in not being true and honoring myself. It is exhausting to be someone you’re not supposed to be.
Society conditioned me to believe that if you want something, you have to work hard to get it. I worked really hard, accepting the fact that life was supposed to be an uphill struggle. All of my relationships were superficial. I was in a job that I hated. I felt like a dried-up, bitter woman who married her spouse for the wrong reasons — money, acceptance, and approval — only to be faced with the sinking sensation of being alone and feeling desperation in a loveless partnership. My job in corporate provided me with nothing but a deep dark depression and an avoidance of confronting who I really was. I forced a smile as I masked the inward sinking reality that I felt alone, unworthy, and afraid to acknowledge that fear was my real drug of choice. Addicted to the avoidance of pain and the stories I would tell myself, I stayed stuck for the majority of my life.
Everyone I knew wanted to talk about the latest fashion buzz, who won
American
Idol,
or which celebrity died of yet another overdose. I pretended to be interested, but the truth was I wasn’t any different from the celebrities who chose to run from their pain. The ability to escape life was far too easy. Whatever the drug of choice was, I found myself starting to see there could be a better way. I was more curious about the pull on my heart. It kept prickling and nagging as if to say, “There is more than this, honey.”
For over a decade I lived this delusional nightmare of codependency and the search for security without success. All my romantic relationships were carefully chosen to escape the painful reality of anxiety. I’d pick partners who were addicted to numbing their pain, too. We’d escape life by doing drugs together and drinking over the fear. When I finally got up enough courage to recognize that a relationship was unhealthy, I would end it, only to find myself back in the arms of another addiction; overeating, over exercising, overworking, overspending, more men, and more drugs. I stayed in a constant state of denial consumed by my fear-based mind.
I was always waiting for the next thing to happen, the next promotion, the next boyfriend, the next anything to drag me out of my depression. It never occurred to me that “pushing” was the problem. My inner drive and constant forcing things to happen was really just a cry for help, an outburst, and a need for love.
I believed the root of my depression was my job in advertising. At the time, I didn’t realize my source of depression was not my career. I’ve since learned that depression is not an emotion or feeling, it is an avoidance of feeling our feelings. I was living one big, carefully-crafted lie created to avoid feeling my real truth. Afraid to look at the shadows and nasty cracks in my own personality, it was much easier to get drugs, buy a $100 T-shirt that I didn’t really want, or gulp down a half-gallon of cookie dough ice cream as I cried hysterically between bites. It was much less painful (so I thought) to exercise for four hours or throw up my 3,000 calorie burrito as if it never happened only to feel more alone and even more empty inside. It was easier to run away and have a temporary moment of relief than to possibly think about what would happen if I addressed the pain. What would happen if I felt the feelings and moved through the depression? I couldn’t ask myself what was on the other side of that pain, because the pain itself felt so drastic; I’d rather sit in a burning fire than face those demons.