Finding Faith (2 page)

Her tone was laced with misery and her eyes solidified that feeling. The shine that usually sparkled freely in crystal blue pools was dulled with her reality.

Faith didn’t want to tell her sisters the real reason. All she could hope was that her moving out would make her mom get her act together. The only solace Faith had was knowing her sisters were old enough to take care of themselves, if need be, and would soon follow behind her.

“Can’t you wait for me? That was always our plan. We were all going to live together when we were able to. The Three Musketeers, remember?” A shadow of a smile crept onto Joy’s face at the memory.

“No, you’ll have to meet me,” replied Faith, shaking her head emphatically. “I’ll make sure I get us a nice place and when you’re done with school you can come. You have to finish. Promise me!”

Faith’s phone beeped before Joy could answer her.

“Listen, I’m sure that’s John. I was supposed to meet him fifteen minutes ago. You know how he worries about me.”

“What are you going to tell him?” Hope managed to squeak out with a trembling voice.

“I don’t know yet. I’ll have to figure it out as I go. He doesn’t plan to leave this place anyway. He’s even told me he’s going to work with his dad on their farm, so it’s got to end,” Faith said, sucking in a deep breath to keep from cracking.

Finding her way to a tattered wooden bookcase, she took the two books she knew would give her solace, reminding her of the people she loved the most in her life. Once she tucked the book about small women and another about a knight into a beat-up brown suitcase she was sure wouldn’t be missed, she walked out the door.

Seven years later.
..

The stench of alcohol from drunks mixed with the lemon scented odor from the antiseptic cleaner of the hospital was giving me a headache.

I was leaning across a counter with my head buried in my folded arms.

“I swear to God, Grace, if I have to help one more boozer up off our table tonight I’m going to scream, and when you get off shift you’ll be visiting me down in psych.”

I picked my head up long enough to shoot daggers from my clear blue eyes into the back of my best friend’s head, as if the way the night was turning out was her fault.

Grace trotted over to the film processor, trading a can of the sour disinfectant spray she’d used to try to rid the stink of a truck driver’s smelly feet for her films.

She looked more like a beach bunny from California with her blonde hair, tan skin, big boobs and never-ending legs than an X-ray tech from a broken home in Detroit.

“Hey, I’m not telling them to pinch your ass every time you turn around. Can I help it if they think it’s cute? Take it up with them, don’t go yelling at me,” Grace said holding her hands up defensively, still focused on the X-ray she was checking.

Grace knew what look she was getting from me and could only chuckle. We had instantly become friends the first night I started working with her, bonding over our horrible family lives.

Still ignoring the glares, Grace said, “Guess I’ll go wipe down the table before the ER brings over our next patient.”

Once she got all the way into the adjoining room to make sure she was a safe distance away, she added, “It was a bar fight and he lost. They want to see how mangled his face is. It was over a girl.”

I could hear the smile in Grace’s voice from the last bit of information she shared, knowing what kind of reaction it would elicit from me.

Without fail the mumbling of curse words floated from where I stood in our work area, causing a chuckle to float from Grace in the adjoining room.

It was nights like tonight that I regretted leaving my pleasant, quiet town in Iowa to come to a big city like Chicago. I had felt so unwanted by my parents, mainly my mother. I blamed my father by association. I had to get out. A person can only handle so much.

The animosity had gotten so bad with my mother I had started to feel like everyone was against me, including my longtime boyfriend. It was like there was a Faith-doesn’t-know-shit club and everyone was quickly becoming part of it. Of course there was no real club, I had only created it in my head. People told me I couldn’t leave, that I would regret it. Namely, my sisters and boyfriend.

Instead of living with a blind eye to my mother and going with the most likely option, I tried to prove a point. With no warning, I packed a bag and moved away from everything and everyone I loved to reinvent myself. My sisters were the only ones who knew the night I left that I wouldn’t be back.

I have days that I wonder how my life would have turned out if I’d stayed and dealt with the issues. They’re very rare, but they do happen. I question whether the plans I had made with my sisters would have actually happened? Would we have stayed close? I guess now we’ll never know.

The days I think about my life with my ex-boyfriend aren’t as rare, unfortunately. What would my life have been like if I had married him? Not that he asked, but we were serious, and the idea popped into my head more than once. What girl doesn’t think about it? Unbeknownst to him, what was supposed to just be a romantic night turned out to be our last one together. We had the most amazing sex, and that was exactly how I always wanted to remember him, my knight.

For the most part, I was happy with the new life I had created, but I always had a nagging feeling in my stomach that seemed to be growing bigger as the days passed.

Under circumstances that had been swirling around me as of late, tonight was one of many nights that I wished I could go back in time. Maybe if I had put myself in my sisters’ shoes, then I’d still have them in my life now.

A sudden shiver ran from the top of my head to the tips of my toes, reminding me that getting my old life back wasn’t an option, and I quickly dismissed the thought like I had so many other times before.

Glancing up I saw a chilling reminder. I was confronted with the dark, menacing stare of the one other person in my life who could make me feel like nothing but a piece of trash. Dr. Brad Price was tall, lean, all muscle and my most recent ex-boyfriend. His short, messy hair was as dark as midnight, with eyes that matched. A thin, sharp nose and a jaw that could cut glass helped define everything. His features were set against smooth, pale skin, making women’s heads turn because of the stark contrast.

We stood in silence staring at one another. If my feet weren’t glued to the ancient floor in fear I would have run. He always had that effect on me when he gave that look. His anger usually resulted from not getting what he wanted. While together I tried my damnedest to stay as far away from that emotion as possible.

“Aren’t you going to say hi?” Brad asked, his eyes penetrating me.

Running my tongue over dry teeth chattering behind my lips I squeaked out, “What do you want?” I could hear how pathetic I sounded.

Brad stepped up, taking a piece of hair that had fallen out of my pony and tucking it behind my ear. “What are you going to tell them?” he asked gently, but his eyes were burning into my face while he waited for my response.

“I don’t know, Brad,” I said, staring off to the far corner of the room. Where the hell was Grace when I needed her?

A quick, sinister laugh slipped out between Brad’s curled lips when he said, “Faith, you know what you’re going to say. Everyone already thinks you did it. Who knows, maybe I’ll even be willing to take you back when it is all over.”

I couldn’t respond because my tongue had joined my feet.

“If you had listened to me in the first place you wouldn’t even be in this mess,” he continued casually. “That was always your problem, questioning everything. Is it my fault everybody who works here can see you for what you are?”

Yes, it was. He started the nasty rumors, and being who he is around here the wagon filled up fast.

Tears burned my eyes as they welled up, fighting to come out. How much more of this was I going to have to endure? Surely, I’d end up in a corner if he continued. My hands began to tremble, and I stuck them in my pockets to hide the reaction. But he didn’t miss a thing. His black eyes gleamed, causing me to brace myself for what would come next.

Before I could bring myself down anymore, Grace reappeared in the doorway with a tall, lanky officer at her side. His duty belt hung heavy around his slim waist, looking like it would pull him down if one more bullet was stored inside.

The disheveled dishwater blonde hair complemented his washed out green eyes, giving the impression that he had just woken up instead of having been working most of the night. His baby face was one any mom would trust, and any woman would want to pinch.

Their heads whipped between Brad and me before Grace said in an acid tone, “Can I help you, Doctor?” Her eyes becoming slits as she watched us with suspicion.

With his eyes locked on me Brad said, “No thank you, Grace.” Breaking our connection he turned to Grace and Mike with a sweet smile on his face and finished, “I need to get back to taking care of the patients.”

He tossed a casual wave in their direction while sauntering out of the department as if he’d just come in to give a friendly hello.

Once Brad was out of view two pairs of concerned eyes were on me, waiting for the breakdown I fought with every fiber to hold back. I would not let them feel bad for me.

If I didn’t get my mind off of what happened I would become a worthless shell of a human and I couldn’t do that to Grace.

A slow smile crept onto my lips at the sight of the concerned man before me. “Hey, Mike. You must be the lucky guy taking care of the facial bones, huh?”

Initially, the sight of a patient sitting on my table in cuffs while the officer stood next to me with a loaded gun rattled me, but it was done so frequently I was now accustomed to it.

Some of those officers had even become some of my best friends. Mike was one of them.

Mike put a hand on his belt, pushing it down further, and moseyed over to the control panel where I stood.

As I turned dials that looked like ones on a washing machine, he widened his stance next to me, making sure he could see the delinquent through the window, before getting comfortable and leaning against the wall behind me.

A slurred shout from the X-ray room about “where’d that starving pig go?” rang out.

With a roll of his eyes, Mike said, “What gave it away?” Mike always tried to act tough and in charge like Bruce Willis in “Die Hard,” but came off as Barney Fife instead, to me anyway.

Grace was a different story. She became a stuttering mess when he around. It was obvious how much she was attracted to him, even if she wouldn’t admit it openly.

“I see Dickhead is working tonight,” Mike spit out, not even entertaining the rants that were coming from the drunk in the other room. If the guy made a wrong move, Mike would be on him before the loser could blink.

Because of recent events, Brad gained the loving nickname Dickhead from Mike and Grace.

With my eyes trained on the man in the other room, I groaned, “Yep. He just came in to say hello in his oh-so-nice way.”

I stopped talking long enough to time the picture I was taking between the drunk’s garbled curses. Even with the criminal’s face pressed up against a cold slab it didn’t deter him from being belligerent. If anything it made him swear more.

“I don’t know what I ever saw in that man to begin with. Can you just shoot me now to get me out of this nightmare?”

I sulked into the patient’s room to make adjustments before Mike could answer.

When I reappeared Grace was leaning along the wall next to Mike. Her hands were tucked behind her back that was arched like a bridge, pushing her breasts out even farther than they already stuck out.

If I knew Grace, that was probably for two reasons. First, to control the urge to attack Mike, and second, to show off her assets.

“Don’t let Brad get to you, Faith. The truth will come out. You’ve been here so long everyone knows you. His story doesn’t even make sense. Why don’t we go out? It might help you get that shit off your mind for a while,” Grace said, coming to where I stood and gently rubbing my back for reassurance.

At a feeble attempt to change the subject I asked, “So, who brought Mr. Lush in?”

Mike was taking care of this guy once he got checked out, but the firefighters had brought him in.