Finding Her Way (13 page)

The vases soared across the room. The first vase crashed on the floor depositing its contents on the carpet. The other vase hurtled farther, shattering as it struck the door with force. The impact sent shards of glass, rose petals, and water flying about her office. Jerrica’s legs weakened and she dropped to her knees in front of the window. Using the edge of the table to hold onto, she lowered her head and closed her eyes. Tears nudged at her eyelids wanting release, but she was determined not to be weak and cry. Breathing deeply she tried to contain the frenzy inside that had made her lose her temper. She hated when she allowed herself to become this angry. Still on her knees, leaning back on her heels, she dropped her hands from the table, letting them hang at her side. Her mind was numb as the storm drained out of every pore. Every muscle felt weak.

†

Lauren had closed the door quietly behind her. The tone in Jerrica’s voice and the glare in her eyes had said everything. Lauren had exited the room as quickly as possible. She had just arrived at her desk when she heard the scream, then the loud smash against the door. Lauren lowered her head and closed her eyes. Her heart ached for her friend. A soft touch on her shoulder startled her. Turning her head, she saw Jaime standing behind her.

“Is everything ok?”

Lauren tried to stay calm and not let Jaime hear the worry in her voice. She was about to answer when she saw someone out of the corner of her eye. She could see Madison watching them with curiosity. Lauren deliberately lowered her voice as she leaned in toward Jaime. “She just received flowers from Devin.”

“No!” Jaime gasped putting her hand over her mouth.

Lauren nodded her head in confirmation. “I’m guessing from the recent sounds, she threw them across the room. I bet it’s a mess in there.” Lauren glanced at the closed door, “Listen let’s just get back to our routine. I’ll look in on her later. She needs time to deal with things.”

Jaime knew that Lauren was right. Jerrica would want normalcy when she reappeared again. Jaime found herself struggling with the invisible line between employee to employer and caring friends. She wanted to rush in there and tell her everything would be okay and that she was here if she needed anyone. She looked at Lauren. She could see the same anguish running across her face. She noticed Madison hadn’t moved from her standing position next to her desk since they had gotten back from lunch. The look of confusion on her face compelled Jaime to go and talk to her.

“What happened?” Madison whispered.

“I can’t really talk about it,” she answered, looking down at her feet.

“Jaime, I’m not going to push you for information, but I heard the same noises you did and I’m concerned. Is your boss okay ?”

Jaime looked up and saw the worried look in Madison’s eyes. “If I tell you, you’ll have to promise not to tell anyone.”

“I promise!”

“Jerrica’s ex has been bothering her a lot lately and today flowers arrived. I think she’s just frustrated with the things going on in her life right now.”

“Oh, so the noise was probably her response to getting the flowers,” Madison said, understanding the situation a little more clearly.

Both women stood together, preoccupied with their own thoughts.

Lauren’s sharp voice echoed from across the room. “Jaime, get back here. You have plenty of work that needs to be done.”

Jaime’s face reddened in embarrassment. Smiling shyly at Madison, she quietly walked back to her desk.

Lauren locked eyes with Madison. At that moment, Madison knew Lauren had summed her up and by the look on her face, she didn’t get high marks in her book.

Lauren severed eye contact only when she felt she had gotten her silent message across to the new girl on the floor. Lauren shifted paperwork as she slyly observed Madison disappear into Olivia’s office.

There’s just something about that woman I do not like, she thought as she watched Jaime sit down. She’s going to be trouble; I’m going to keep my eye on that one.

†

Time passed slowly. Jerrica wasn’t sure how long she had been kneeling on the floor, when the ache in her legs brought her back to reality. Reaching up, she grabbed the edge of the table with both hands, balancing her frame. With as much energy as she could muster, she pulled herself into a standing position, not releasing her grip on the table. Taking a deep breath, she wobbled to the side window to look out, placing a warm hand on the cold window to steady the shakiness. Her mind was running through a thousand thoughts at once. Thoughts of her empty life flashed through her mind, conjuring images of Devin. She quickly placed a hand on her chest as the pain of their past break-up and most recent interaction shot through her heart.

Behind her, a familiar noise captured her attention, but she did not turn away from the window. The office door opened cautiously. Jerrica saw Lauren’s reflection in the window.

Lauren glanced around the room at all the broken glass and flowers flung everywhere. She obviously wanted to comfort Jerrica. Avoiding the problem in front of her she spoke quietly. “Jaime and I are leaving for the day. Do you need me to stay to lock up?”

An eerie silence befell the room until Jerrica whispered. “I’ll lock up tonight.” She was standing motionless.

Lauren paused a moment, as if wanting to say something, anything, but obviously decided to leave her in peace. She closed the door.

Jerrica heard a soft goodnight as she heard the latch on the door. Alone in her office once more, she took in a deep breath; releasing it gradually.

I’m almost thirty and I’m alone, she commiserated.

Lowering her head, leaning it against the window, she closed her eyes.

What have I done with my life? One failed marriage and one painfully failed relationship.

Both relationships had taken their toll on her heart. She always had had her career to fall back on. She could always depend on her drive, personality, and intelligence to succeed in her career. But her career didn’t keep her warm at night. As she straightened up, pushing her head away from the window, she realized, in a moment of clarity, that her career was not enough to fulfill her life anymore. She wanted, no…deserved, more than this. Her eyes focused beyond the window, on the city, as the shadows of dusk blanketed the busy streets of Boston below.

†

Hearing the movement of people outside the door, Madison glanced at her watch. It was quitting time, confirmed by the timepiece. Brushing off her pants as she stood, she surveyed her progress. Two large boxes with Olivia’s junk inside and a small one of desk stuff was all that needed to be unpacked. Not bad but now it was time to get out of there.

About to exit the office, hand still on the doorknob, she noticed Lauren standing in Jerrica’s open doorway. She froze. Madison could see a side profile of Jerrica standing near her windows. She watched as they exchanged words, but Jerrica didn’t move. Madison couldn’t see the expression on Jerrica’s face from where she was standing. When Lauren slowly closed the door, walking back to her desk, Madison recognized the expression on her face.

The concern and uneasiness she had seen on Lauren’s face earlier had returned. Not wanting to attract Lauren’s attention or her wrath, Madison took a couple steps back into Olivia’s office, quietly pushing the door shut. In the silent office, Madison listened for noises on the other side of the door to diminish. She finally heard what she thought might be the last of the bell ringing on the elevator so she cracked the door open and peeked out just in time to see the elevator doors close.

After a quick scan around the department, she determined Lauren had finally left. Madison strolled to her desk, picking up her coat. She was going to have to find a way to get along with Lauren or working on the same floor was going to be hell. It was only the first day, maybe she would soften up as time went on.

Madison slid her jacket on, proceeding toward the elevator. Once there, impatiently she pressed the down button several times, as she waited.

†

Jerrica hadn’t left her spot near the window. Her eyes were clouded with thought. She could tell by the stillness in the air that everyone had gone for the day. Everyone had gone home to a loved one or a loving family for the night. Not her, she would go home to an empty house. Where did she go wrong? The sky had darkened as night crept in, only a few speckles of starlight scattered scarcely amongst the darkness. Tears filled her eyes as she continued to analyze her life.

“Are you all right?”

Alarmed Jerrica spun around to see someone standing in the doorway.

“I knocked, but I guess you didn’t hear me.” Stepping closer, she inquired again. “Jerrica, are you ok?”

“Madison?” Jerrica replied, blinking back the tears.

Not being able to stop the tears cresting her cheeks, Jerrica turned back to the window, hoping Madison hadn’t seen them. “I’m…sorry…I…didn’t hear you come in.”

Jerrica’s voice was shaky, Madison realized. She had seen the puffiness around Jerrica’s eyes before she turned. “Jerrica, is…can…I mean…can I help in anyway?”

Jerrica quivered as she used her fingertips to wipe the tears, but could not reply. She didn’t want to turn around, she didn’t want to talk to anyone at this moment, didn’t want anyone to see her in this weakened state. The room went silent. Jerrica’s spine stiffened as the smell of perfume surrounded her. Suddenly she felt the warmth of Madison’s breasts pressed up against her back.

Madison delicately slid her hands up to Jerrica’s shoulders, gently brushing the soft skin of her biceps on the way. She waited for some indication from Jerrica to stop, but it never came. Madison wasn’t sure if Jerrica was trembling from her touch or from something else. Sliding her arms across Jerrica’s upper chest, she held her in a caring embrace.

The warmth of Madison’s arms made Jerrica feel unexpectedly safe, as she leaned back into the inviting tenderness.

Madison felt the overwhelming need to comfort Jerrica. She felt the body in her arms relaxing and heard the soft, sniffling slow. She could feel Jerrica’s silky hair on her cheek, breathing in the light lilac scent.
I could hold this woman forever, she realized.

Jerrica stepped forward, stopping the moment she no longer felt the comforting warmth. She turned to face Madison, not looking into her eyes. Without any verbal exchange, Jerrica stepped back into Madison’s embrace.

Madison’s heart jumped as Jerrica laid her head on her shoulder. Madison enfolded her arms completely around Jerrica, resting her check on the side of Jerrica’s hair. She was amazed at how well their bodies fit together. Madison didn’t want the contact between them to end, but secretly wished this moment was for better reasons. She felt Jerrica pull her head back, their gaze locking. Madison could see the tears that still clouded those beautiful green eyes. She closed her eyes as the soft touch of Jerrica’s palm caressed her cheek. She became increasingly aware of Jerrica’s thumb delicately skimming her bottom lip. Without warning, she felt the velvety touch of Jerrica’s lips brushing against hers. Her knees became weak, holding on tighter to stay standing.
I should stop this…I need to….

†

Jerrica lightly licked Madison’s bottom lip, being rewarded when they parted. Their tongues stroked and played. A moan escaped Madison’s throat. The emptiness that had engulfed Jerrica compelled her to want more and Jerrica reveled in the taste of this exquisite, sensual woman. She had never been so excited just kissing someone. She knew she should stop, but couldn’t help wanting more.

Feeling the urgency intensify in Jerrica’s kiss, Madison ran her fingers through the silky, auburn hair. Fingers entwined in Jerrica’s hair, she wrenched their lips apart, gasping for a much-needed breath. She looked into Jerrica’s flushed face, watching as her eyes slowly opened, baring all of Jerrica’s raw desire. Trying to manage the fiery passion that was building inside her, Madison loosened her arms, taking a step back.

“I can’t do this. Your emotions are everywhere, Jerrica. You’re not thinking straight. I just can’t do this, not here, not like—”

Jerrica lifted a finger to Madison’s lips stopping her from continuing. With unwavering wanting in her eyes, Jerrica breathed, “Then take me home.

Chapter Six

As they entered the darkened apartment, Madison turned to Jerrica. “Please, wait here,” she said, disappearing into the void of the room.

Blinking repeatedly as a light illuminated the space, Jerrica tried to focus in on the surroundings. Madison was standing in what looked like a living room. The room had two neutral tan colored couches running almost parallel to where Madison stood. There was a small green recliner to the right, and a small television on a stand across the room to her left. This apartment reminded Jerrica of an ordinary hotel room, nothing flashy, no personality, no personal effects.

“This place is temporary until I get my stuff shipped back and settled,” she said, looking around the room. “Would you like something to drink?”

“Yes, please,” she said, watching Madison hurry into the kitchen.

“You can place your jacket anywhere. Make yourself comfortable.”

Wiggling out of her jacket, Jerrica placed it over the back of the recliner. Now that her head was clearer, she started struggling with doubts about her recent actions.

What am I doing here? Why am I doing this? This is so unlike me, to be a one-night stand. Going home with practically a stranger is not my style at all. Then again, what has my style done for me so far in life? she thought.

Determined to see this through, she was going to feel first, worry about the consequences later. Other people did it, why couldn’t she?

“I hope you like diet soda, that’s all I have right now,” Madison commented as she entered the room.

Jerrica spun instantly in the direction Madison’s voice was coming from. Pushing her thoughts aside, she rushed toward Madison. Placing both hands on either side of Madison’s face, Jerrica passionately kissed her.

†

Madison released the glasses, letting the contents plummet to the carpet, pulling Jerrica tightly to her. Their tongues hungrily explored one another, tasting, caressing. She wanted this woman, she needed this woman in her bed. Madison slid her hands across the soft material covering Jerrica’s back. With one meticulous tug, she released the tucked in shirt. Sliding her hands underneath, stroking the muscular back, she felt the skin tremble under her touch. The sensation made her dizzy.

Liberating her lips from the intensity of the kiss, Jerrica tipped her head back, releasing a low sensual sigh as Madison trailed kisses down her neck.

Slowly Madison kissed the base of the exposed neck, leisurely nipping and licking her way up to the soft earlobe. Running her tongue along the rim of her ear, a moan escaped Jerrica’s lips. Steadying her breathing, she whispered, “Tell me this is what you want. I need you to tell me this is what you want.”

 
Jerrica could hear the wanting in Madison’s plea. Breathing in deeply, Jerrica shifted out of her arms, stepping just out of Madison’s reach.

Madison paused as if afraid, holding her breath in apprehension. Was she afraid that Jerrica had changed her mind?

Jerrica watched the conflicting emotions play across Madison’s face. Pausing for a moment, she slowly glided her hands down the fabric on her side, capturing the hem of the shirt with both hands. Drawing the shirt over her head, she casually tossed it on the couch. “I want this. I want you,” Jerrica replied, extending her arm out and taking Madison’s hand.

Madison released Jerrica’s hand as she reached for the light on the nightstand. The light gave the bedroom a soft glow. She directed her attention to the woman standing in front of her. Tenderly she passed her fingers across the exposed forearm, trailing up to the soft skin of her bare shoulder. It felt as soft as fine silk.

Gazing longingly into one another’s eyes, Jerrica’s skillful hands ran up the front of Madison’s dress shirt, expertly releasing each button. Once the skin was exposed, her hands drifted under the shirt, pushing the material off broad, quivering shoulders, letting the garment tumble to the floor.

†

Madison could feel her temperature rise each time their skin brushed together. The ache of desire that had started in Jerrica’s office was intensifying to a blaze that might consume her. “Take this off,” Madison groaned as she delicately slid her index finger under a bra strap.

Submitting to the hungry stare that wanted to devour her, Jerrica reached behind her, unclipped the garment, removing it quickly. The private show for Madison continued when Jerrica reached down to her waist where she hastily opened her pants. With a little wiggle and a small side step, Jerrica was standing only in her panties, her pants now a puddle on the floor next to her.

Madison’s heart almost jumped out of her chest as she watched Jerrica remove her clothes. Her eyes appreciated Jerrica’s almost naked form standing like a goddess in front of her. Madison’s gaze washed Jerrica’s velvety auburn hair brushing against her perfect ivory skin, ending a little above her firm, full breasts, down to the flat stomach and muscular abdomen. The vision of tiny red panties made her body jolt with excitement. She resumed her admiration down to the chiseled thighs that complemented Jerrica’s incredibly strong legs. Was this really happening or was she dreaming?

†

Jerrica was captivated watching the intense desire grow in Madison’s eyes as her gaze raked the entire length of her body. Jerrica seductively brushed by her toward the bed. She turned with her back to the bed. The coolness of the bed frame lightly brushed her calf when she took a small step back. Gradually, she lowered herself onto the edge of the bed, making sure wanting eyes were locked on her every move. Leaning back on her hands, she slid herself back so she could stretch on her side in the middle of the big bed. With legs crossed, bending an elbow, her head leaning on her hand, she breathed out. “It’s now your turn. I want to see all of you.”

Unclipping her bra in the front, Madison let it tumble to the floor. Her shaking hands yanked the pants fastener and zipper open. The slacks descended to the floor. Kicking them off, she strolled to the bed.

Jerrica watched Madison with great admiration. Every line, every curve was perfect. The tanned skin was flawless from the broad shoulders to the perfectly round, petite breasts. As her stare followed the curve of Madison’s hips and muscular legs, Jerrica noticed no visible tan lines. A bolt of electricity surged down to her core at the thought of Madison sun bathing nude.

Her attention shifted to refocus on the warm hand sliding up her thigh. Madison was kneeling on the bed in front of her. Staring into eyes filled with yearning, she reached for the back of Madison’s neck, enticing her closer. Their lips met softly this time, savoring each caress. Entangling her fingers in Madison’s thick hair, Jerrica pulled her harder against her lips, deepening the kiss. Hands gently explored the curves and hollows of unexplored terrain, taking precious time to remember every inch of exposed skin.

Pulling away, Madison nipped on Jerrica’s bottom lip. She trailed kisses down the delicately defined neckline, nestling in the base of Jerrica’s neck. Her low husky voice whispered. “You are so beautiful.”

Madison began a slow, tantalizing descent, kissing and licking every delicious inch. Tilting her head, she took the soft nipple into her mouth, teasingly circling it with her tongue. A long moan escaped Madison’s lips as she nibbled the taut bud.

Jerrica whimpered, arching her back, filling Madison’s hungry mouth with her breast. She trembled with excitement as a skilled hand caressed her side, sliding down to her hips. Madison released a growl as she dragged her fingernails up her back.

Positioning herself to lavish the other breast with attention, Madison’s hand continued to flick and pinch the already sensitive nipple her mouth had just awoken.

Jerrica’s body was alive, every nerve was ablaze, arousing her to the edge of her sanity. She raised her hips, caressing herself against Madison’s thigh, increasing the hunger that was building in her core.

The wetness from Jerrica’s panties coated Madison’s thigh. Madison positioned herself above Jerrica, releasing a small gasp as their bodies fully touched. Jerrica’s dark green eyes were almost black with desire as Madison bent to devour her lips. Wiggling a hand between them, she captured the waistband of the red panties. She worked them low enough so Jerrica could kick them off. Sliding her hand between Jerrica’s legs, she enticed a soft moan from her lover. Madison ground her teeth together when she felt the moisture coat her finger. She buried her face into the neck of her exquisite companion as her own arousal was building to a fever pitch.

Jerrica’s head tilted back into the pillow, as a skilled finger encircled her, stroking the flames of ecstasy burning inside. Jerrica bit her lip, stopping the blissful cries from escaping. She had never been vocal during sex, so the urge to scream with pleasure was foreign to her.
 

Madison glanced at Jerrica’s upturned face. Her eyes were clenched shut, teeth deeply indenting her lip. Brushing her cheek against Jerrica’s, she whispered softly. “Don’t keep it in, sweetheart,” she begged. “I need to hear that I am pleasing you.”

Jerrica lifted her back farther off the bed, groaning, “Oh, my…oh…Madison, you feel so....”

Grinning, Madison slid two fingers inside.

Jerrica words became inaudible, as she was lost in the haziness of the journey, the climb taking her to places she needed to reach. Jerrica wrapped her legs around Madison’s waist giving her deeper access to the depths of her passion. The thrusts came faster and deeper.

“That’s it...,” she exhaled between ragged breaths.

Jerrica had never been so free, so uninhibited. Her need for release was frantic as she held onto Madison. A heavy sheen of moisture developed between them.
 

Using her thumb to massage Jerrica’s already sensitive core, Jerrica knew Madison could feel the muscles tightening around her fingers. Madison had to feel Jerrica was close to orgasm, she was increasing the rhythm.

Jerrica closed her eyes, surrendering to the rapture, nails digging into delicate flesh. “Oh, God, yes …ooh…yes,” she moaned as her body tensed, the climatic explosion erupting from deep inside her, sending her soaring between the clouds, into a limitless abyss between fantasy and reality.
 

Flinching with delicious pain on her back, Madison held her tight as multiple spasms ripped through Jerrica’s body. Madison softly kissed Jerrica’s neck as she floated back onto the bed. Madison could feel Jerrica’s heaving chest under hers. When the waves of ecstasy gradually subsided, Madison regrettably withdrew her fingers from the warmth.

Jerrica released her embrace on Madison, letting her arms and legs fall to the bed. “That was…indescribable…,” she was able to whisper.

“It was absolutely beautiful,” Madison responded in a throaty voice.

Post orgasmic eyes fluttered open to glance into dark, lustful ones. Jerrica was surprised to feel a twinge of arousal rising again. Placing her palms on Madison’s shoulder, Jerrica used her body weight to push Madison off balance and onto her back. Jerrica quickly took her lips furiously. She used her knee to nudge Madison’s legs, parting them with ease. She slid her body between them.

Madison pulled her mouth away, releasing a strained groan when Jerrica teasingly rubbed her body against hers. Madison was on overload as Jerrica teased her breast with kisses and nipping.

Methodically, Jerrica circled an erect nipple with the tip of her tongue.

An experienced hand worked the other breast, until she couldn’t take any more of the exquisite torment Jerrica was inflicting on her. Her need for release was beyond teasing foreplay as she grabbed Jerrica’s hand, directing it in between the mist covered skin and the fabric.

“A little impatient, are we?” Jerrica said, smirking with satisfaction.

“Please…,” Madison breathed.

Jerrica pushed her hand farther under the fabric, feeling Madison’s arousal on her hand. With feather-light touches, she caressed her. Madison started trembling uncontrollably underneath her, as her head swayed from side to side. Jerrica felt her own sexual arousal rise again in fervor. Jerrica entered Madison with intensity. She heard a growl as Madison’s back arched off the bed.

Madison slid her legs open farther to adjust to Jerrica’s fullness.

Jerrica’s talented fingers orchestrated a delicious symphony of pleasure deep inside the depths of Madison’s soul.

Trying to hold onto every feeling, Madison lifted her hips in rhythm to receive everything Jerrica was offering. “Oh, you feel so good, oh…don’t stop,” Madison said through clenched teeth as she grabbed the tangled bed sheets.

She could feel the tension building quickly as her body craved for release and her eyes fluttered closed. Madison cried out as the rapture of her climax rumbled through her.

“Oh, yes! Oh…God, yes…I love you, Jerrica!” Tipping her head back, Madison fell into the abyss of complete orgasmic pleasure.

Jerrica’s head snapped up to look into the upturned face that was concentrating deeply on the euphoria.
Had she heard that right?
Not wanting to stop the pleasure, Jerrica continued stroking her lightly until she felt the spasms decreasing.

Madison’s body began to relax, bringing her back from the clouds.

Jerrica slowly withdrew her hand, caressing the soft skin up to the heaving chest. Cuddling into the base of her neck, Jerrica lightly kissed the moist skin. When breaths traveled from light gasping to a steady even flow, Jerrica whispered. “How about that drink now?”