Finding Hope in Texas (25 page)

“Hello, Hope?”

“Hey, Jason.”

“This is unexpected. Aren’t you in
school?”

“I’m at lunch. I’m not disturbing you, am
I?

“No, I’m eating, too, actually. What’s going
on?”

“I...”
God, don’t tell him
. “I was
just hoping you had a good weekend.”

“It was one of the best I’ve had in a long
time, sweetie.”
Sweetie? He called me sweetie.
“Is there
something else on your mind? Is everything alright?”

No.

“Yeah, I just wanted to hear your voice.” I
knew he was thinking it through on the other end of the line.

“Okay, Hope, but if you need anything just
let me know.”

“I will. Thanks. Oh, Jason?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s your middle name?”

“It’s Thomas. In high school people called me
J.T. Why do you ask?”

“Oh, no reason. I was just wondering.”
Thomas. Tom was short for Thomas
.

“Okay, well, I’ll see you on Saturday.”

“Okay, see you then.” I closed the phone and
took a few deep breaths. After a few moments I felt more relaxed.
Thank you, Jason Thomas. Tom. Tom Sawyer
. I let myself smile
and picked up my phone again, this time to do some business.

“Richard, please. Thanks.”

“How is the little cowgirl?”

“Richard, I need a car.”

“A car?”

“Yeah, it has four wheels, goes forward and
backward and sometimes turns—a car. You have to drive everywhere in
this place. It’s probably why everyone is so fat.”

He laughed. “Well, you are sixteen and your
parents would’ve bought one for you eventually.” He was thinking it
over when it came to me.

“Why not Mom’s?”

He paused on the other end of the line.
“Hope, are you sure?”

“Yeah, I drove it some. It’s very
reliable.”

I heard him sigh. “Well, if you really want
it, I could have it shipped down there by Thursday or Friday I’m
guessing. But you’re sure that’s the one you want?” I knew what he
was referring to. Yes, it was Mom’s car and basically I had done my
best to get away from all of my memories with them. But it was just
a car. I could handle it.

“Yes, it’ll be fine. Then you don’t have to
do all the paperwork on buying a new one.”

“Alright, that’s fine, Hope. Is there
anything else?” I paused, but I just had to know.

“Richard, be honest with me. How much did
they have?”

“Well...a lot, Hope. Your parents were smart
with money.”

“Can you give me a ballpark figure?”

“You’ll find out in just over a year when you
turn eighteen.”

“Richard.” Another sigh and another moment
lapsed.

“It’s around five million, give or take. Your
house alone is around three-quarters of a million. Then there are
the stocks, bonds, mutual funds, savings accounts, you and Tyler’s
college funds. Even in this bad economy, it all adds up.”

“How much did Mags get when Grandma Vickie
passed away?”

“Your dad handled all that, but it was over a
million, not to mention whatever he’s given to her over the years.”
I closed my eyes. She had run through all that money in just under
ten years, wasted on men, moving, whatever. She didn’t save a dime
and I felt so much hate bubble up for her when I heard over a
million.
Darn her!
She didn’t deserve anything from me, from
my family. Mom was right about her, she was a mooch that could
never be counted on except when she needed something.

“Thanks, Richard. Thanks for the car,” I hung
up, even more upset. How could she have done this to herself over
the years? I survived the rest of the day until I got into the Ford
POS to see her.

“Hey, Hope, honey, how was your day?”

I stared straight ahead because if I even
glared at her when I said this, I was really going to lose it. “How
could you waste everything?”

“What?”

“Your inheritance, what dad gave you; tell me
there’s something left of it. Richard told me everything. He said
you got over a million dollars from Grams.” Finally, I looked at
her. “Tell me it’s in some account or deposit box or in a duffel
bag under your bed. Tell me!”

Her face reddened. “I blew it, okay? Is that
what you want to hear from me? That I was never as perfect as your
father? That everything worked out so well for him and I couldn’t
do crap with my life? Huh? I’m a lousy person, Hope. I know that.
I’ve known that since I fell in your dad’s shadow when we were
kids. I was never going to amount to anything and I wasted over a
million dollars in just a few years because I didn’t ever want
it.”

“Why not? It could’ve helped you in so many
ways.”

She hit the steering wheel hard with the palm
of her hand, her head shaking violently as her red hair waved.
“Jesus, haven’t you heard me? I wasn’t going to be your dad.” She
sat back against her seat and stared out the window, looking away
from me. “God, you should’ve heard your grandparents go on and on
about him when we were kids. He won this award or got this
scholarship. They had him on a pedestal. I was ‘still trying to
find my way’ they would tell their friends. I couldn’t deal with it
and I knew I was never going to live up to their standards, so I
left. I got on bus and took off without ever looking back. I’d
given up and they’d given up on me.”

“Dad never did.”

She gave a snort. “No, he never did. He sent
me money from work that he held for me, something he never told
your mother, although I think she knew. He always welcomed me back
in when I needed to come home, told me to stay and that he’d help
me find a job or go to school.” She shook her head.

“You were just too proud.”

“When they died, I lost it. It wasn’t the
money, Hope, please don’t think that. It was that he was the only
person who ever cared if I lived or died.”

“That’s not true.”

“It is true. All these men I’ve chased, they
just saw me for what I saw in myself: a good piece of tail on a
cold night. Your dad was a saint. He didn’t have to help me, but he
never once turned his back. And I think it took them dying to flip
a light on for me, Hope. When I came up there and saw you, God, I
just wanted to help you in any way I could, like your father had
helped me so much over the years. And I know I talked you into
coming down here, but I thought we could start over, could start
our lives over together and make something work for a change. That
was my intention anyway. I’m just sorry it hasn’t worked out that
way.”

We sat there for the longest time with the
car idling next to the curb. I didn’t know what to say to her. I
was still upset, but I felt sorry for her most of all. She never
could figure out how much we all really loved her and would
probably go to her grave with that grief. She was going to end up
like Jason’s mother, just leaving someday because of her low
self-esteem. Then what would happen? Drinking? Drugs? Something
worse? I wasn’t going to let that happen. She was all I had left,
too.

“Dad loved you. They all did. And I love you,
too.”

She looked at me with tears in her eyes,
trying to read as to whether I was lying or not. But it was the
truth and she smiled as we hugged over the center console.
“Alright, alright. So we need to go shopping.”

“For what?”

“For a new store you can put a lease down
on,” I said.

“Hope,” she sighed, “it was just a stupid
dream. No one wants to really own a second-hand store. And starting
something new in this economy is just wasting your money, money I
don’t have.”

“Well, it’s not your store.”

She looked at me puzzled.

“It’s my
antique
store and you’re
going to work for me. Besides, what is family for?” She gave me
another hug, one so tight in her arms that I thought I would
explode.

“Are you sure?”

“I already have a name for it.” Now, that was
a lie, but she didn’t ask, only giving me a smile. She put the car
in drive and we were off to find a new home for her store.

Richard berated me for half an hour that
evening when I told him our plans, said he would refuse to make the
transfer of money and that I was wasting it, just as my dad did in
supporting her. And maybe I was. There was nothing for Mags to
stick around for if things got tough, which they were sure to do,
but I couldn’t give up on her because I was the last person who
hadn’t. Eventually, Richard caved, but not before he was cutting
the money off at $50,000. “Your family has worked too hard to
fritter this money away, Hope. I think you know that.” I thanked
him and was just hoping it was going to be enough. The antiques
alone were going to be half that. We still had to find a place to
open up the store, get someone to move all the antiques there,
advertise, and get it all done within a matter of days. That
evening we did a lot of searching and found four different
buildings to look at the next day. I left Mags the job of calling a
realtor and setting up appointments, figuring she at least wouldn’t
screw that up.

In an odd way, I was actually looking forward
to doing this with Mags. Maybe in the back of my mind I thought it
would bring us closer together. Maybe she would realize that she
was
important, not just to me, but also to our whole family.
I still was offended by all of her past but couldn’t do anything
about it. Maybe this was a chance to turn over a new leaf and do
something with her life. Or maybe she was going to screw me over? I
didn’t know either way.

The next day at lunch I sat down with Lizzy
and was about to explain the new antique store plan, but as soon as
I sat, she hit me with news I wasn’t ready for.

“Dad said I probably shouldn’t sit with you
anymore,” she said with the sound of regret. “He said you probably
weren’t the type of people I needed to be friends with.” She
flipped her notebook closed and began to pick up her tray before I
reached across the table and grabbed her wrist.

“Lizzy, please don’t do this,” I pleaded. “I
had an argument with your dad and said some pretty mean things.
Please don’t leave because of that.” She gave me a depressed look
and finally relented.

“Okay, Hope, what’s your side of the story?
Dad said you were making out with Jason. Is that true? And then you
brought me up with him? Why would you do that?”

“We weren’t making out, but we kissed,” I
said, countering the first accusation.

“What’s the difference?”

“Lizzy...” I shook my head, not believing I
had to explain myself to her. “He went through so much over there,
and everything in my life...well, it just happened. He came over to
console me after I spilled my guts and the next thing I knew we
were kissing.”
Jeez, if I hadn’t been there myself, I probably
wouldn’t have believed it.
Her expression was one of disbelief,
the turned down corners of her mouth made her cute little face
droop like it had melted in the Texas sun.

“Why did you bring Hunter and me up?” I
sighed, moving on to the next grilling.

“Because you like him.”

“So?”

“So Mr. Peet thinks you’re a little girl and
he shouldn’t treat you that way.”

“He doesn’t.”

“So, he knows that you have feelings for
Hunter?” She didn’t say anything. “Lizzy, you’re already fifteen
and way more sophisticated than everyone else your age. And Hunter
is a good guy, a kind of guy every girl should find. Don’t you have
some say in who you like? I mean, I saw how wonderful the both of
you looked at the dance. Haven’t you ever discussed the both of you
with him?”

“With Hunter?”

I nodded.

“Yes, and I’m sure he likes me, too. But
Dad’s kind of stuck in his ways.” She finally sighed, releasing the
pent up anger she had reserved for me. “You shouldn’t have said
that about my mom.”

“No, I shouldn’t have, that was wrong.” I
looked down at the Salisbury steak and mashed potatoes. “And I’m
sorry I mentioned you to your dad. It wasn’t right.”

“No, it wasn’t.” She paused. “Do you like
him?”

“Your dad?”

“No, silly, Jason. Do you like him?” My mind
went back to that weekend, being so cold, yet feeling so good with
his arms around me, like nothing in the world would ever hurt me
again with him protecting me and me caring for him.
Did I like
him?
His looks alone were to die for, like he should’ve been
stuck in some Abercrombie and Fitch billboard somewhere. And then
his heart, a heart scarred by war, but was still so compassionate
and understanding. I looked down again before feeling the tears
begin to well up in my eyes.

“I do, Lizzy. I like him a lot.” I gave a
fleeting smile that she returned.

“Dad said I couldn’t go with you to Canton
this weekend.”

I nodded, stirring my mashed potatoes into
mush. “Maybe I wasn’t going to ride with you,” I said quietly.
“Maybe you just happened to bump into me there and we just decided
to hang out, the four of us. You know, because he was so vague with
his instructions and everything.”

She smiled with a sneaky little gleam in her
eye. “He did say I couldn’t ‘go with you.’ He didn’t say anything
about not seeing you when we were actually there. So around ten
o’clock around the county civic center?”

“Sure,” I agreed, but having no idea where
she was referring to. We talked some more about the plans for the
weekend. She and Hunter would go down in his truck and we would
travel by my car, as I wasn’t too sure about riding on the back of
a hog for an hour. Even though Mr. Peet didn’t want me to hang out
with Lizzy anymore, I was sure Mags was all too happy to see me
acting somewhat normal by going out with friends, even if it was to
a trade’s day, whatever that was. But even though I didn’t like how
Mr. Peet treated his daughter, I began to think that maybe he was
right about not hanging out with me. After all, I did just talk her
into going against her dad’s wishes for the weekend.