Finding Hope in Texas (29 page)

Read Finding Hope in Texas Online

Authors: Ryan T. Petty

Tags: #tragedy, #hope, #introverted, #new york, #culture shock, #school bully, #move, #handsome man, #solace, #haunting memories, #eccentric teacher, #estranged aunt, #find the strength to live again, #finding hope in texas, #horrible tragedy, #ryan t petty, #special someone

“She’ll give you eighty for both,” Jason
piped up.

“Eighty? That’s real Confederate money.”

“Yeah, and on their face they are worth six
bucks.” The man thought about it for a moment. You could tell he
didn’t want to give it away, but he wanted to make a sale, too.

“Eighty five.” Jason looked at me and I
nodded.

“Sold.”

I gave him the money and took the remnants of
the dead southern nation in my hand. We continued to walk a bit
before Jason began to speak.

“Not a bad deal. You can probably get around
what he wanted in your aunt’s store for them. There’s a lot of
confederate script out there, but these are in pretty good
condition.”

Well, I didn’t know he was an all-things
confederate connoisseur. But these weren’t for the store.

“Actually, I bought them for you.” He stopped
and looked at me, but his eyes were more glaring than happy. “If
that’s okay?”
Is he one of those guys that don’t like gifts?
Dad was the same way, not that he didn’t smile at Christmas or his
birthday when we piled the presents into his lap, but I think he
only did it because we wanted him to. Gifts to him were just stuff,
something that would eventually find its way on to a table down
here in Canton. He just wanted to be around the family, his
greatest gifts in his life, to make memories with them on those
special days. That was far more important than a tie or wallet.

“You didn’t have to spend your money on me.
Besides, you already bought me a pocket watch. Give these to Mags,”
he stated.

“I want you to have them. And every time you
look at them, I want you to think of me.” Yes, it was a corny line,
but maybe he would accept them with a little encouragement. His
face didn’t soften, though. There was no handsome smile breaking
though.

“I’m not dating you because of your money,
Hope. Besides, I think of you all the time, anyway.” He gently
pushed the plastic covered money back towards me, but then his
hands quickly wrapped around my waist and pulled me close, giving
me a kiss right there so that the whole wide world could see. Just
days ago, I would have been entirely embarrassed, but not anymore.
He could have kissed me like this anywhere he wanted. “You can’t
buy what you already have, sweetie,” he breathed softly.

“Already have?”

“As long as you can stand me.” He planted
another kiss on the top of my head. “No more gifts.
You
are
all I want.”

Aww!
I immediately went into stage
four head-over-heels melt down mode.

“Hey! Are y’all going to make out the entire
time or are we going to see the rest of the trade’s day?” Lizzy
shouted from a few booths up the aisle, probably gaining more
attention than we did with our kiss.
Okay, now that’s a little
embarrassing.

We made our way around to more booths, seeing
everything that this month’s trade’s day had to offer. Canton was
the place for everything, it seemed like. Some booths had antiques,
of course, but others had tools, or toys, or fabrics, or furniture,
or whatever. We could have walked around the place all day and not
have seen everything.

“This is just one part of the place,” said
Hunter. “They have a whole other section down the road with animals
for sale.”

“They sell live animals down here, too?”

“Anything you want, from dogs to cats to
chickens to horses.”
Jeez.

“Oh, yes, we have to go see ‘Dog Town,’”
noted Lizzy. I looked back at Jason, still concerned that we might
be walking him too much. He read my mind, though.

“Would you feel better if I rented a scooter
to roll around on like some old man?” It was a sardonic question,
but I nearly wanted to say “yes
.”

Please don’t hurt yourself on account of
me.

We stopped around midday and ate at a little
corndog stand that looked much like the ones that came to the
reenactment, with me teasing Jason that he could have one instead
of a turkey leg. Afterwards, we strolled through the covered stands
of more stuff. Lizzy and I stopped and looked at some purses while
the guys checked out some homemade marshmallow guns made from PVC
pipe material.

Eventually, we made our way down to Dog Town
and saw all the animals. Lizzy was right, they had everything from
farm animals to pets. It wasn’t long before we girls found some of
the cutest little puppies and kittens that we cradled in our arms.
If I still had a soft spot in my heart, it was for little yellow
labs. They were just so cute! But I knew I’d better not get one as
it was hard enough to take care of myself, Mags, and starting our
new junk store. When I returned the pup back to the seller, he
tossed him into a cage and walked off to the next customer. I
watched for a moment as the dog pawed at the links in the cage
door, turned around multiple times as if trying to find a way out,
and whimpered some with eyes growing into large black saucers.
Finally, he laid down in defeat. Of course this made me feel
miserable and guilty. Through no fault of his own, the little guy
was trapped in an uncompromising position that he couldn’t work his
way out of alone. My only hope was that someone would come by and
rescue him. Hopefully, he’d go to a good family where he would be
loved for the rest of his life.

“You okay?” whispered Jason from over my
shoulder.

“I’m getting there,” I said with a sigh.

“Me, too.”

The day wore on long enough to where we saw
most of the items on sale. I picked up a few small ticket items for
Mags’ store, but nothing we had to lug around on our excursion. We
were heading back towards the civic center and had been walking up
the gravel aisle when we saw them.

“Oh, my God,” both Lizzy and I expressed at
the same time.

“Holy crap!” Hunter put the exclamation point
on the subject.

The four of us stood there stunned as we saw
Mr. Peet and Mags sitting on a park bench in front of the center.
The sitting was the normal part: them locked in a passionate kiss
was what surprised the heck out of us.

 

 

Chapter
Twelve

 

“PDA! PDA!” announced Hunter as he stepped
forward laughing. PDA stood for “public display of affection” and
it was what teachers harped on students about when catching them
make out at lunch or in the hallways. But now the teacher was
caught, with my aunt! Their eyes widened as we approached them.

“Now Captain, do we need to have that talk
with you? You know, the birds and the bees.”

“Shut it, Hunter.” The joke was over and the
adult was coming out. Mr. Peet stood. “Lizzy, didn’t I ask you not
to come–”

“I didn’t come down here with Hope, they came
by themselves. And what the heck are you doing, making out with her
aunt?”
You get him, Lizzy!

“Don’t take that tone with me, young lady.
And this isn’t about what I’m doing here. You distinctly went
against my instructions.”

“Well, your instructions were lame, and we’ve
had a blast down here today.”

“Looks like both of you have, too,” I chimed
in. “Mags, what is going on?”

“Well, Robert couldn’t get a hold of Lizzy
and called me up, wondering if you had gone with them. When he said
he was coming down here to find y’all I just came along.”

“And fell into his lips? Why would you do
that?” Why was I angry at this? Mags had followed men around for
years, something I figured she would do again once she got bored
with me. But why did it have to be my teacher? Why Mr. Peet? Why
couldn’t she just go after one of the pieces of trash that had no
association with me? God, it was always about her and she didn’t
give a crap about my feelings. I gave her and Mr. Peet an evil
glare before storming off into the civic center.

Still angry about what I’d just witnessed, I
sat off in the corner by a small snack stand selling cold drinks
and candy. I realized they were adults and had every right to do
whatever they wanted to, but couldn’t either of them think about
how it would make Lizzy or I feel? It wasn’t like either of them
had showed any interest in each other before. Heck, they hardly
knew each other. Their only mutual interest was me. Didn’t I have
enough to deal with already besides seeing them together?

It wasn’t long before someone had chased me
down, but it wasn’t Jason, Lizzy, or even Mags. Mr. Peet made his
way over to my table and sat down next to me.

“How are you doing, kid?”

“I’m not your kid...yet.”

“Touché,” he said and gave a sigh. “Look,
Hope. One, I didn’t know that was going to happen out there, it
just did. Two, you, of course, weren't supposed to see it.”

“Then why did it happen? Why do you have to
put your grubby hands on Mags?”

“I didn’t know my hands were grubby,” he
tried to joke, but I gave him another stern look. He shook his head
and leaned forward on the table, not looking at me. “You were
right,” he relented.

“Right? Right about what?”

“Everything. Everything you said to me the
other day. It was harsh, but it was something I’ve needed to hear
for a long time.” He gave another sigh. “Elizabeth...Lizzy is just
growing up so fast and without her mom I’ve done my best to keep
her like the little girl that I knew. I know, she’s not, but...” He
wasn’t thinking anymore, he was remembering.

“Do you have a picture of your wife?”

He looked at me finally. “No, no. I stopped
carrying it around years ago.”

“I’ll bet she was beautiful.”

He smiled. “Very much so, inside and out. I
just felt so lucky that she could fall for a poor fool like me.
When I had her, I could hardly fall asleep at night because I just
loved watching her. I couldn’t get enough of her, you know?”
Actually, I kind of did.
“Then when the cancer got bad, I
don’t think I slept a wink. She was a trooper, though. Never showed
how weak she was in front of Lizzy. Even that last time in the
hospital where we both kind of knew, she told Lizzy she was going
on a trip and that Lizzy had to be good for daddy.” He gave a huff
as my eyes began filling with tears.

“How did you do it? How did you start to live
again?”

“I’m not sure I did,” he grumbled. “Laura was
my life. After she died, I fell apart.” He looked around to make
sure no one was listening to our conversation. “Don’t ever tell
Elizabeth this, but the night after the funeral, my sister let her
stay over at her place. I went home and... God, I cried so much,
then drank, then cried some more.” He took a deep gulp in his
throat. “I’ve always kept a small caliber pistol in the house for
protection, never used it, but that night I stared at it all night
long. Just me, the pistol, and a bottle of booze. I didn’t do
anything, of course. Elizabeth didn’t need to grow up that way, but
I’m not sure I really started living again after that either.”

I didn’t know what to say. My teacher had
just told me he’d contemplated suicide years before, and I could
only think of how many times I wished I had been in that car with
my family. Was it the same thing? When you thought of people that
do it, your first thought is that they’re taking the easy way out
instead of dealing with their problems. But how far can you push
someone before they have to take action? My expression must have
read deeply on my face, for Mr. Peet apologized.

“I shouldn’t have told you that, Hope. I lost
a loved one and only found comfort in seeing the cynical side of
the world. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I had lost
three.”

“What am I supposed to do?” I basically
whimpered.

“Well, don’t be me, for starters. There are
too many beautiful things in the world that you’ll miss if you do.
My only other advice is to live.”

“But what if I don’t know how?” I could feel
the tears begin to roll down my cheeks, too overwhelmed with the
conversation. “They were everything to me and I didn’t even get a
chance to say goodbye.”

“You don’t need to say goodbye, kid. Goodbyes
always seem like the finale to me.”

“What did you say to your wife?”

“’
I’ll see you later.’” A tear fell
from his cheek. “And I will. It gives me hope to know that I’ll see
her in some next world, whatever that may be.” He leaned over and
put an arm around my shoulder, very un-Peet-like of him, but I
couldn’t help but lean in against him. I didn’t know how long we
stayed like that, but I broke the melancholy with my
question.

“So, this kiss?” I heard him sigh.

“Yeah?”

“Do you like my aunt?”

“I think she’s a very nice, very beautiful
lady who is trying to do what’s best for you, and for that I do
find her admirable.”

“But, do you like her?” I pulled away and
looked at him. “Because I’m not sure we should be hanging out with
a teacher that’s just going to make out with all the parents and
guardians in the world.”

He smirked at me using his own words against
him, but I could see the wheels in his mind working overtime to
find something like a comeback.

“Well, do you like the boy from the wrong
side of the tracks out there?” I smiled and nodded, making him roll
his eyes. “Ahh, young love. It is a beautiful thing. Well, I guess
I can live with y’all making out late night around the fire if you
will allow me to see where this goes with your aunt.”

“She has a past, you know.”

“Miss Kilpatrick,” he went teacher on me,
“didn’t your liberal northern education teach you not to judge
people by their past?”

“Yeah, but the southern conservative
ed-u-ma-ka-tion taught me to be critical of everything that is
different than me.” He gave a hearty laugh, nodding his head as if
it was true.

“Well, your aunt told me a lot about you and
herself on the way over here. She said she’s made a lot of mistakes
in her life, but all I can really see in her, and you, is that I
find you both very strong women that I have a lot of appreciation
for. But if our seeing where this may lead bothers you, then I will
certainly not pursue it.”

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