Authors: Patricia Scanlan
Mind, it was easy for her to say something like that with the reassurance of her youth. She might feel completely different if she were almost forty and without prospects. Somebody like Derek
might seem like an answer to a prayer if she were in Sandra’s position, though somehow Cassie felt she would never be
that
desperate.
Just then a scuffle broke out on the dance-floor as Sara O’Reilly’s husband, unable to take any more of his wife’s blatant flirtation with Ken Taylor, made a lunge for the
other man. In a second, Robbie was between them, holding them apart, calming things down. Diplomatically, he advised both couples to call it a night and organized taxis for them, making sure they
were kept separated until the taxis arrived. He managed what was potentially a very nasty scene in a most skilful manner and Cassie was very impressed. At the time for ‘Auld Lang Syne,’
she felt a little thrill of delight when she realized that he was next to her in the ring and knew he had manoeuvred it deliberately. ‘I’ve a feeling this is going to be a great
year,’ he grinned, his hazel eyes twinkling as he introduced himself and wished her a Happy New Year. They spent the rest of the night together dancing and chatting and she felt as though she
had known him all her life. He was so easy to talk to and he had a terrific sense of humour. When he asked to see her home, she happily agreed, although she was a bit surprised to see that he was
driving himself. He had had a few drinks; too many, she thought. ‘Do you want to get a taxi instead?’ she suggested.
‘Not at all, I’m fine,’ he assured her, and it was quite obvious that he was well able to handle his drink as he didn’t seem a bit affected. When he asked to see her
again the following weekend, Cassie agreed with pleasure.
They began dating and a whole new life opened up for Cassie. Robbie was a very sociable man with lots of friends and Cassie was soon having a hectic social life. With his great voice and
guitar-playing skills, he was much in demand for parties and ballad-sessions and was in his element drinking pints of Guinness and singing rousing ballads with an enthusiastic crowd of friends.
Cassie enjoyed that type of thing to a degree, but there were times she wished Robbie and she were alone, especially late at night when everybody had had too much to drink and she was bored
listening to loosened tongues talking rubbish. Cassie really loved her times alone with Robbie. Whether they were out tramping the countryside on the quest for the perfect picnic-spot or sitting in
his apartment doing the crossword together or playing Scrabble, she just loved their companionship. She had not had a serious boyfriend since her time with Donie and, being older now and more
mature, she was enjoying having an adult relationship. And she had to admit it was nice having a man’s arms around her again. There was nothing she enjoyed more than a good cuddling session
and Robbie MacDonald was one of the world’s greatest cuddlers.
Cassie met Robbie’s parents and thought his mother a very nice woman who obviously worshipped the ground her son walked on. She spoilt him outrageously and fussed over him as though he
were a child. His father was more taciturn, surprisingly for someone who had a son as extrovert as Robbie. His sister, Lillian, was pleasant but a little distant and Cassie felt the faintest hint
of an atmosphere in the household that she could not explain. She chided herself for imagining things but on subsequent visits the impression intensified.
Robbie and she had their first row on the Sunday he was supposed to come out to Port Mahon for the memorial service and he got absolutely smashed the night before, a state that lasted until late
the following afternoon. Cassie was hurt and angry and they had a ferocious row when he told her to stop nagging him and acting like a shrew. She hadn’t spoken to him for a week. If Robbie
had one fault it was his inability to say no to his mates when they decided they wanted a few jars. He was OK when he stuck to beer but once he started drinking spirits he never knew when to stop.
It worried Cassie but when she tried to talk to him about it he just pooh-poohed her concerns and wouldn’t discuss the matter.
Two months later he was supposed to collect her on a Friday evening after work but didn’t turn up. She rang his apartment and got no answer. By Sunday when she had had no word from him and
hadn’t been able to get in touch with him, she rang his parents’ home. Lillian answered and when Cassie explained that she had been trying to contact Robbie since Friday and was
wondering if anything was wrong, Lillian said a little brusquely that she hadn’t a clue where her brother was, but knowing him, he was on a bender somewhere and adding that if Cassie had any
sense she wouldn’t waste time worrying about him but would do herself a favour and finish her relationship with him. Cassie had been really shocked by the younger girl’s words and the
bitterness in her voice. Frantic with worry, she rang his office the next day, only to be told that he wasn’t in and they hadn’t heard from him. It was Wednesday before he got in touch
with her and it was quite obvious from his lined face and rheumy eyes that he had been on a hell of a drinking bout.
Deeply upset, Cassie told Robbie to get lost, that she didn’t want to see him again. If Robbie MacDonald was going to start standing her up to go on drinking batters with his mates, he
could go to hell. Apologetic and ashamed of himself, he had inundated her with flowers and laid siege to her with phone calls begging her to see him. In the end, Cassie was so miserable to be
fighting with him that she agreed to meet him. They went back to his apartment to talk and Robbie apologized repeatedly, tears in his eyes as he swore never to behave like that again. When she
started to cry, Robbie was even more horrified by her tears.
‘Cassie, Cassie, please don’t cry. I’m such a swine, I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I love you, Cassie; I wouldn’t hurt you for the world!’
Flinging her arms around him Cassie sobbed, ‘I love you too, Robbie. I was just so worried about you. If you’ve a problem with drink, can’t you go and see the welfare officer
at work? He’ll help. I know a few people who’ve been helped like that.’
‘Don’t worry, Cassie, I can give it up any time and that time is now. From now on it’s pints only!’ He took her hands in his and gazed into her eyes. ‘Did you mean
what you said about loving me?’
She nodded mutely. How could she help but love him? Despite his faults, Robbie MacDonald was the most lovable man.
‘Oh Cassie, I never met a girl like you. I love you too,’ he said, pulling her to him and kissing her passionately. She stayed with him that night and Robbie very lovingly and gently
made love to her for the first time. His tenderness and sensitivity touched her deeply as he helped to ease her shyness. Unlike Aileen, who hadn’t an inhibition in the world, and Laura, who
was the epitome of self-confidence, Cassie was a bit shy about her body and had dreaded the moment of losing her virginity as much as she looked forward to it. Would it hurt like they said it
would? Would she bleed and make a mess? Would she know what to do and how to please Robbie? Were her breasts big enough? Were her thighs too fat? Would she snore when she fell asleep and what would
happen when they woke up in the morning if Robbie wanted to kiss her and she had a taste in her mouth? All these little problems had caused Cassie a lot of anxiety. It had never dawned on her to
wonder if Robbie would please her or if he would be too small or too fat or have BO. Her conditioning had led her to think that with sex it was all-important to please your man. Cassie had not
given much thought to her
own
pleasure and satisfaction.
In the end it had all been so natural and Robbie made her laugh the whole time, especially when he was showing her how he put a condom on, modelling it for her benefit and giving a running
commentary. She was tense the first time in spite of herself but gradually Robbie helped her to relax and she began to enjoy herself, loving the feel of his silky beard against her breasts as he
took each of her nipples in turn in his mouth and ran his tongue over them, making them harden with desire. When they finally went to sleep in the early hours she curled herself in against him,
savouring the protective feeling of his arms around her. The next morning she sneaked into the bathroom to brush her teeth and laughed when Robbie came in to do the same thing. Later, sitting in
one of his shirts at his kitchen table as he prepared scrambled eggs on toast, Cassie knew she had crossed a threshold in her life and was glad that she had done so.
However, her strict Catholic upbringing robbed her of complete fulfilment and happiness. A little stab of guilt assailed her now and again as she thought of how shocked Nora would be to see her
at this moment and she reflected a little unhappily that according to the laws of the church she was now in a state of mortal sin because she had given her love to a man she loved very much. Why
should that be so wrong? It wasn’t as if it were a one-night stand or anything like that. She had thought long and hard about whether or not to make love to Robbie and had ended up taking her
decision because she loved him and sex was an expression of the love she felt. Wouldn’t it be much worse if she was out robbing old people or dipping into the till at work? Fine to call
that
type of thing a mortal sin but what she had shared with Robbie had been something loving and tender and how people could call that a sin was beyond her . . .
Lying on the beach in Rhodes, she smiled to herself. She had spent many happy loving hours with Robbie since that night and for the most part, she could keep the guilt at bay. She hadn’t
told the girls yet; the moment hadn’t ever been quite right. Besides they didn’t seem to be together that often lately; they were busy with their individual lives. That’s why this
holiday was so nice. It was good to share fun times together again. Maybe she’d tell them about Robbie before the holidays were over.
Cassie smiled, remembering how Aileen had proudly told them about her first time with her soldier in the Skylon Hotel. Aileen wouldn’t know the meaning of the word guilt, Cassie thought a
little enviously. Aileen quite often stayed out all night and it was obvious that she was sleeping with her boyfriend, Liam Flynn. Cassie hadn’t met him yet as Aileen had never brought him
home but she had spoken to him on the phone and he sounded terribly dishy. He was obviously a bit older than Aileen, so maybe that was why she hadn’t brought him home. Whatever the situation,
Cassie knew one thing: Aileen would thoroughly enjoy her sex life and not feel one bit guilty about it, the lucky girl!
I wonder if he misses me, Aileen thought, as she lay on her stomach, cheek resting on her arms, gazing out at the sparkling blue sea. Beside her, her two friends were enjoying
a good read but Aileen couldn’t settle down to her book. She had just finished a Mary Stewart and enjoyed it immensely but somehow or other she just could not get into the Georgette Heyer she
had brought with her.
Her thoughts kept straying back home to Liam. She really had it bad about him, she thought glumly, and the awful thing was she didn’t really know exactly what he felt for her. If the girls
knew that she was having an affair with a married man they would call her all kinds of an idiot. And yet she wanted them to know. It was terrible keeping something so important to herself. Nobody
knew, not one other person, just herself and Liam, and Aileen, who was not naturally secretive, was beginning to find it all a terrible strain.
At the beginning she had thoroughly enjoyed the intrigue and the drama of her relationship, but now, after more than a year, she was beginning to find it tiresome and even a little bit seedy.
How she envied Cassie her relationship with Robbie. They seemed so happy together and they sure as hell didn’t have to sneak around making love in the back of a car or waiting until the flat
was free.
She wasn’t stupid, she knew what she was letting herself in for when she had started her affair with Liam, but way back then it didn’t seem to matter. All that had mattered was that
this gorgeous handsome man was terribly interested in her and all she could think about was making love to him. Aileen sighed deeply. It was a bit of a nuisance sometimes being such a sensual
person. How Laura managed without ever having had sex, Aileen could not fathom. It wasn’t that she was a nymphomaniac or anything like it. She would never have casual sex but she enjoyed sex
very much and this was one of the reasons she was continuing to have an affair with Liam. The sex was sensational, really earth-shattering. Liam Flynn was a tremendous lover. Just thinking about it
was making her weak at the knees.
Some of these Greek men were pretty sexy too. Aileen could not understand how Laura could resist the advances of the delicious Costas. Costas actually reminded her a little of her lover. Mind,
he was much younger than Liam, who was forty-five, more than double her age. That was part of the attraction too, she admitted to herself. That this suave, attractive sophisticated man could be
interested in her really bolstered Aileen’s already very positive image of herself.
She met Liam Flynn in the office when he came to check out some data. He was an architect for the Corporation and architects were the people she had most dealings with, them and the planners.
She had looked up one day to find this well-dressed man standing at her desk with a list of enquiries for which she had to supply data. He was the fifth architect she had dealt with that afternoon
and all of them had given her the impression that theirs was the most urgent and important business and she wasn’t to dream of keeping them waiting for their information. What was it about
some of them that made them so arrogant? Well, Aileen had had enough of them. She was in a foul humour anyway. The boss had the nerve to reprimand her for being late back after lunch – even
though he never put in a full day’s work! She wouldn’t have been late except that some bastard had double-parked her. Fortunately, after she had fumed for twenty minutes, the driver in
front of her returned and she was able to get her car out, but not before she had surreptitiously let the air out of the two nearside tyres of the car that was blocking her. Sitting at the traffic
lights, she observed the owner of the double-parked car stroll unconcernedly towards it. He’d soon stop whistling, she thought smugly, as the lights went green and she left him looking down
at his tyres, utterly dumbfounded.