Fire and Ice: Rekindled (The Fire and Ice Series Book 2) (15 page)

Chapter Twenty-Three

Kellan

I heard the crunching of tires against the shale in my
driveway. Jesus, what now? I trudged towards my front door, coming face to face
with Hailey, only the sheer screen and a few feet of distance separating us, as
she fidgeted nervously.

Before she had a chance to knock, I approached the door, and
scrubbed my hand over my face as I spoke into my phone, “Something just came
up. Let me call you back.”

I hit the ‘end’ button on my phone, opened the door, and
stepped out onto the front porch. After the display Hailey had put on earlier,
I wasn’t in the mood for chitchat, explanations, a heart-to-heart, or anything
else that would constitute a conversation between us. I honestly just wanted to
be left alone.

As my dark mood came over me like a wave, I barked out,
“Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

Her anxious expression was quickly replaced by distain, as
she retorted, “Aren’t
you
supposed to be at work?”

My fuse growing shorter by the second, I tried to reign in
my emotions, as I sighed, saying, “Did you come here to lecture me, or just to
annoy me?”

Hailey rolled her eyes in exasperation, sighing
dramatically, before saying, “I came here to…” Her voice trailed off before she
furrowed her brows and asked, “Wait- who was that?” She eyed my phone as if it
were a violation against her.

“None of your goddamn business, that’s who,” I practically
shouted.

“Was it her?” she prodded.

“Really?” I said, my temper rising. “You’re gonna play the
jealous girlfriend card after your little show at lunch today with Mr. High and
Mighty?” I bit out. I really hadn’t planned on feuding with her over this, but
she had been pushing my buttons all day. She was witnessing the end result.

“I told you, Michael is just a friend of mine,” she
returned.

I let out a sarcastic half chuckle, as I continued, “Must be
a pretty good friend. Looks like you two were pretty cozy together.” I knew I
was only making matters worse between us, but I felt powerless to stop it.

“Oh, please, Kellan!” she huffed. “He’s my professor.”

I looked to the sky as I rubbed my chin, asking, “Yeah…isn’t
there some law, or rule, about teachers fraternizing with their students?”

She crossed her arms as she glared at me icily, responding,
“There’s nothing
illegal
about having lunch together.”

She had a point, but my possessive instincts quickly
dismissed it. Seeing her with another man made my gut churn. Deep down, I
wanted to pull her into me, tell her that I was a fool to even think I could
stay away from her, wipe her mind of everything I’d ever done to fuck up her
life; but when I was around Hailey, my reasoning went straight out the window.

“Did Jordan know about you and your
friend
?” As soon as the
venomous words spewed from my mouth, I knew I would never be able to take them
back, and I immediately hated myself for saying them out loud.

I didn’t bother flinching as Hailey’s palm connected with my
left cheek; a swift slap was the least I deserved. I reveled in the sting, the
ache that was beginning to mount. It paralleled my feelings; feelings that were
spiraling out of control.

“You miserable bastard!” she spewed. “I can’t believe I was
even
thinking
about
helping you,” she yelled as she whipped around, her hair swinging past me with
a definitive swipe.

Confusion flooded my senses, as I instinctively grabbed her
by the elbow and spun her to face me, asking, “Wait…what? What do you mean help
me? Help me with what?”

“Go the hell!” she fired at me, before literally spitting in
my face.

I’d been slapped, punched, kicked, tormented, jerked around,
fucked over- you name it. If it was damaging, physically or emotionally, I’d
had it done to me, and I had done it to others, as well. I never said I was an
angel; but I’ve
never
been spit on, in the literal sense.

Shock. My mind was being held hostage by sheer shock, and
I’m sure my face showed it.

I dropped Hailey’s arm and wiped my face, feeling defeated.
Chancing a glance at her, the bitter anger I had seen flash through her eyes
just moments ago, had now faded, and her features became grim. Her grim
expression mirrored my own internal feelings.

Slumping my shoulders, I quietly turned away from her to
retreat back into the solitude of the house; I needed that solitude, needed to
reflect on some things…everything. I doubted I would, though. Historically
speaking, I’d most likely try harder to bury it than to face it.

I pulled myself out of my thoughts, opened the front door as
it creaked, and stepped towards the threshold before Hailey spoke,
“Kellan…wait.”

******

 
Hailey

My God, what is wrong with me? This man, this beautiful,
intoxicating, infuriating, all-consuming man, that was embedded into my soul-
it was as if I’d just syphoned the last remains of his will from him. In a
single impulsive action, I had crushed him. My God, what is wrong with me?

“Kellan…wait,” I requested quietly. I had come here to help
him, help him clear his conscience, not add to his burdens. What did I expect
would happen after how I’d behaved in front of him earlier? Instead of
diffusing the situation, I’d only made it worse. My God, what is
wrong
with
me?

Kellan hesitated before entering the house, but didn’t turn
around to face me, and this needed to be said face to face.

I took the few small steps that separated us and gently
wrapped my hand around his wrist. Memories of grabbing his hand the first night
we had met, as he tried to walk away from me, over three years ago, flooded my
mind. It felt like déjà vu- I had hurt his pride that night, and he’d hurriedly
walked away from me. I couldn’t let that happen again. At the very least, I had
to try to make this right. I knew this would eat away at Kellan if I didn’t
intervene.

He didn’t look up to me, but rather down to my hand wrapped
around his limp wrist, as if he was afraid to move, as if it was a grenade, and
any sudden movement would detonate it.

I tightened my grip and felt his pulse flutter under my
fingers. He stood stoically still, but I could see in the depths of his eyes
that he was grappling with his emotions. The physical and kinetic energy
flowing between us was palpable. Yet, he continued to stare in a dazed state,
immobile.

I couldn’t just stand here all day and let him suffer. I
finally spoke up, “Kellan, I…I’m sorry. There’s no excuse for what I just did.
I don’t want to fight with you, Kellan.”

He looked up to me, slowly and reluctantly, his features
fraught with confusion, anguish, and despair. My heart was breaking for him,
for both of us. We’d spent the little time we had shared together over the last
few years dismantling each other’s lives. We’d manage to tear down each other’s
defenses, a few bricks at a time, only to erect a higher, newly fortified wall
each time one of us had wronged the other.

I’m witnessing his fortress crumble to the ground before my
very eyes; not because he’s letting me in, but because he’s lost all hope and
desire to maintain it. If I’m being honest, I can deal with Kellan’s barrage of
tumultuous emotions; irate, brash, brooding, abrasive, tortured, hell on
wheels…and there’s no denying I long for the pleasure he’s given to me as a
lover; intense, passionate, unfathomable pleasure.

Right now, I would take Kellan in all his forms, good and
bad; but that Kellan isn’t standing before me. The man standing before me is…
numb, vacant, devoid of life- poof…gone in an instant. And I refuse to let him
spend his life trapped in his own mind’s purgatory.
I’d
rather be dead, than to
have to witness him lifelessly wading through each day, a shell of a man,
detached from everything and everyone around him. There was no way I was about
to let that happen. I was going to have to dig my heels in.

“Look, Kellan,” I stated sternly, my sense of propriety
flapping furiously in the wind as I continued, “We can settle this the easy
way, or the hard way- it’s up to you. But we
are
going to settle this.” I
spoke my words with conviction, but my heart was pounding a mile a minute.

A light flickered in his eyes for the briefest of moments,
and I knew I’d thrown the life raft into his self-deprecating sea just seconds
before he allowed himself to be pulled under. All he needed to do now was reach
out and grab it. There was nothing Kellan loved more than a challenge.

The corner of his mouth quirked the slightest bit, his gaze
becoming intent, as he said, “And if I want to do it the hard way?”

I scoffed, “I would expect nothing less from you, Kellan.
Either way, there’re two truths you need to know before I leave here.”

He wrenched his hand from my grip, and I was left feeling
instantly bare. He quickly turned and entered the house, not bothering to hold
the door for me as he shouted over his shoulder, through the screen, “The ‘truth’
seems to be a bit subjective lately.” As I let myself in, trailing down the
hallway after him, he continued derisively, “Not sure if I can handle two whole
truths
in one day.” Yep, he was back amongst the living, and he definitely wasn’t
going to make this easy on me. This was going to take good old-fashioned elbow
grease to scrape away the graffiti.

“Well, the first one won’t take long,” I said, biting
nervously on my lip.

Turning halfway towards me, he placed his hand on his hip,
the other he ushered towards me, sighing as he said with irritation, “Fine. Lay
it on me. This should be good.”

I closed my eyes for a moment, took in a breath, and
straightened my shoulders, readying myself.

“Look, I don’t have all day, here, Hailey. I gotta get
back…”

“You’re it,” I blurted, my eyes fixated on his like a deer
caught in the headlights.

“I’m it?” he questioned, his brows raising. “What are
we…playing flashlight tag? What the fuck is that supposed to mean, ‘You’re
it’?”

“You’re it,” I repeated.

“Okaaay. If you say so,” he said dismissively. “I guess that
settles that great mystery of the world,” he said sardonically. “Well, I gotta
get ready, so…” he continued, staring at me expectantly.

This wasn’t going as well as I had hoped. I shook out my
arms and pushed forward. “You’re him,” I stated.

He squinted his eyes a tad before saying, “I’m him.” I bit
the inside of my cheek and looked towards him through my lashes. “Did you and
The Professor drop fucking acid before you came here?” he asked, his voice rising.
“Tell ya what, Princess, go home, sober up, and come back when you can form a
cohesive thought. Sound like a plan?” he said acerbically.

He turned to continue down the hallway as I shouted,
“Kellan! Wait…”

“Jesus Christ,” he exclaimed, turning to face me as he threw
his hands up in the air. “What the fuck is with you today? Get to the point, or
get the fuck out,” he said, pointing to the door behind me.

I buried my head in my hands and let out a frustrated
breath. “You’re…”

“I’m…” he motioned for me to continue.

Just
say it.
“Oh, God…okay, I’m just gonna say it.”

“Thank Christ. I though maybe you were gonna have to write
it down, and I’ve somehow misplaced my decoder ring,” he mocked me.

I shook my head. “You really are impossible, you know that?”
I scolded.

He pointed to himself. “
I’m impossible
?” He looked to
his watch, then back at me, “I’m glad as fuck this is the
short
…whatever you have to
say.”

“Can I say this?” I shouted.

He crossed his arms, saying, “I don’t know…give it try,”
doing his best impression of John Bender.

“You’re the one,” I whispered as we stared at each other for
a long moment, neither of us moving.

Clearly agitated, he huffed out, “Finally! That makes
perfect sense. Now that we’ve solved that riddle,” he swatted his hand towards
me as he began to turn away.

“Kellan, wait!”
That’s the third time you’ve said that!

He whipped his head to glare at me, grinding out, “That’s
the third time you’ve said that.” A sudden sense of panic set in as he took a
step towards me. He said with resolve, “I’m this fucking close to losing my
shit right now, Hailey.” He pointed at me, saying, “You!” then pointed at the
door for the second time, continuing, “Out. Now!”

I shook my head back and forth, tears pooling in my eyes, as
I whispered, “No, no, no.”

Kellan stalked towards me, grabbed me by the elbow, and
began to drag me towards the door, saying, “Yes, yes, yes.”

I tugged against his tight grip.
Dig those fucking heels in!
“You’re
the
one,” I emphasized.

He halted and stilled his hand, slowly turning to face me
with fire in his eyes. “What’d you just say?” he asked acidly, stepping into my
space and tilting his head.

“I…I said…” I stammered before he grabbed me by my upper
arms like I was a child, spun me around, and forced me against the wall.

He leaned his weight against me and brought his face to
within an inch of my own. He was breathing heavily and looking at me with craze
filled eyes. “I fucking heard you,” he shouted as I flinched. “What don’t you
grasp about this lying concept, Sweetheart?” he asked maniacally, his jaw
ticking as he waited for an answer.

A tear escaped down my cheek as I pled, “I’m not…I mean, I
didn’t…”

He brought his hand to cup my jaw, squeezing it tightly,
gritting his teeth as he shook his head up and down, saying, “Oh, but you did.”

I tried to pry his hand from my jaw as I looked at him in
sheer confusion, asking, “How? I…said…”

“You said this wouldn’t take long.” I begged him with my
eyes to make sense of what he was saying to me. He brought his cheek to mine,
his stubble grazing my skin, as he growled into my ear, “This is going to take
all. Fucking. Night.”