Fireblossom (23 page)

Fox felt his heart stop for an instant. The shock nearly drained the blood from his body, but his manhood had a life of its own. So close... he was so close... and now, as his climax built to uncharted heights, he shut his eyes and willed his thoughts to cease. Release came in an explosion of pure ecstasy, pleasure so intense and new that he realized he would never be able to erase its memory.

In the wake of his fulfillment came despair, shame, disbelief... followed almost immediately by a flood of questions. Drawing away from Madeleine, he reached for one of the quilts and threw it over her hastily.

"What the
hell
are you doing here?" he demanded. "Have you lost your mind?"

"No." She met his angry stare, her green eyes luminous in the moonlight. "I made careful plans, aided by Gramma Susan. I knew what I was doing." She prayed he couldn't see the blush that suffused her cheeks or the tears that stung her eyes. "I wanted—I wanted this."

The knot of tenderness in Fox's chest only made him angrier. "Damn you! Did it ever occur to you that I might
not
want
you
—especially under these circumstances? Didn't I make myself plain enough in Deadwood when I told you to stay away from me?"

"I didn't believe you," she murmured.

"Oh, you didn't?" His eyes burned into hers. "You tricked me! I didn't want to go near you, my dear Miss Avery, yet you took it upon yourself to override my wishes and—"

"But, Fox," she interrupted, "this
was
your wish. You said my name in the middle of the love act."

Furious, he jumped out the back of the wagon and pulled on his trousers. "
Damn
you! I thought you were a lady! How could you give yourself to a man who didn't want you—who thought you were someone else... For God's sake, put something on! I'm going for a walk."

"But... what shall I do?"

"Walk back to Deadwood for all I care," Fox replied in a jaggedly icy voice.

* * *

Dawn crept over the pine-studded hilltops in lambent shades of gold and coral. As Fox approached the wagon, he inhaled the air, freshened by the brief rain shower, and wished that his own mind and heart could be cleansed as easily. The more he thought, the more confused he became as feelings of anger and longing rose up to complicate matters. Of course, he knew that there were no solutions to this problem with Madeleine. An attachment between them was impossible; he had too many secrets, too much guilt, and a nagging feeling that he wasn't entitled to love and the deep happiness it would bring him. Besides, a woman like Maddie deserved better. Fox felt tainted now, broken.

His eyes burned as he leaned against the back of the wagon and gazed at her sleeping form. How in the name of reason had this masquerade of hers failed to arouse his suspicions? He wasn't a fool! Now, despite his efforts to do the right thing where she was concerned, he'd taken her virginity and possibly gotten her with child without even realizing it was she with whom he was coupling.

The possibility that he
had
suspected, even known all along deep down, was one he refused to consider.

And what was he to do with her now? His heart ached to look at her, her delicious body swimming in
his
shirt, legs twisted in a threadbare quilt, long curls swirling outward like a halo of flames. Maddie's face, strong, delicate, and vulnerable all at once, was dearer to him than he cared to contemplate. And that terrified him. If only she could turn into Lorna. Lorna would open her arms to him and then shake his hand when she returned to Deadwood. She'd know better than to expect anything from a man like him.

A man like him...

You know better than that
, Annie Sunday's voice scolded softly from a corner of his mind.
You're not like the others... and Madeleine knows it. Isn't that why you're afraid of her?

He rubbed his eyes with strong, tanned fingers and shook his head. God only knew what he could do with Maddie, but for now he had to get some sleep or he'd be a madman for the remainder of the day. Smiling ruefully, he climbed into the back of the wagon, settling down beside her on the quilts.

This time, however, he kept his pants on.

* * *

The scolding cry of a blue jay awakened Maddie to the full light of morning. The bird had glided over and perched on the back of the wagon, eyeing a piece of apple Watson had apparently dropped on the ground. The horse nickered at the jay and it flew away.

Even under the canvas that canopied the wagon, it was growing warm. Maddie felt drowsy but oddly content. Stretching, she turned on her side and her face touched Fox's. Her breasts brushed against him and her hand fluttered uncertainly above his chest. He was breathing deeply.

Tears filled her eyes. She yearned to rest her hand on the muscled planes of his chest, to snuggle against him and listen to the slow beat of his heart. What had passed between them in the night did not seem real, despite the soreness between her legs. Of course she had wanted passion, and she had been determined to uncover the mysteries of mating, but now she realized that most of all she wanted to
touch
this man who made her feel so acutely, excitingly alive. She wanted to learn his body, all its secrets, and to share hers with him.

Reluctantly Maddie sat up, sighing as Fox's shirtsleeves slipped below her hands. Dreams were all well and good, but for now they would have to remain dreams. Fox still kept the door to his heart bolted, guarding it jealously, as if he knew it would open spontaneously to Maddie if he relaxed his defenses for even a moment.

It was almost pleasure enough just to look at him now, she thought with a smile. He was so handsome! Every detail of his face more than measured up to the fantasies she'd nurtured since childhood. Those challenging eyes, safely closed now, usually warned hers away, so this opportunity to stare was a luxury.

Satisfied at last, Madeleine crawled carefully, silently, to the back of the wagon, plucked her satchel from a corner, and emerged into the morning sunlight. Watson watched as she stepped behind a tree, rifled through her bag, then dressed quickly in a plain lawn chemise and tan cotton gown sprigged with green flowers. None of the clothes she'd brought were particularly attractive because she'd opted instead for her coolest work dresses.

Maddie fastened up the back of her gown, then groomed her hair with a silver-backed brush and tied it with a ribbon. Finally, after buttoning her feet into embroidered kid slippers, she took a long look around.

The wagon had been stopped in the middle of a verdant clearing above the rutted road that led eastward out of the Hills. On one side, the mountain slanted upward, covered with a rich mixture of ponderosa pine, spruce, and quaking aspen. To the left, the hillside swept down to an open meadow bathed in sunlight. Through the nearest part of the meadow rambled a stream where two mule deer were drinking, their black-tipped tails flicking in the warm breeze. Jackrabbits raced across the far side of the dew-spangled meadow, while meadowlarks sang in a nearby stand of paper birch trees. Wildflowers bloomed in profusion among the meadow grasses: purple shooting stars, orange wood lilies, yellow-blossomed prickly pears, and even wild roses. Maddie stared in open wonderment for long minutes, watching the mule deer until they lifted their heads and disappeared into the forest.

The stream, rushing over worn stones, beckoned to her. From her satchel she withdrew a tin cup, flannel cloth, linen towel, and a bar of rose-scented soap, then found a shallow spot where she could kneel beside the water and fill her cup.

The water tasted incredibly delicious. After drinking two cups, Maddie felt a wave of euphoria sweep over her. In spite of Fox's attitude, she sensed that this journey was necessary for both of them, whatever the outcome.

She set about washing then, soaping the cloth and scrubbing her face, neck, hands, arms, and, after a quick peek around, between her breasts. It wasn't a proper bath, but it was quite lovely and refreshing. She bent over the stream, skirts hitched up above her knees, and began to rinse the soap away.

"I should have known," a male voice remarked from some distance behind her. "Only Miss Madeleine Avery would attempt to bathe in nature as if Philadelphia society were watching and waiting for a lapse in propriety!"

She pressed the linen towel to her face, straightened her shoulders, and turned unhurriedly. "Well, if it isn't the unfailingly charming Mr.... What was your surname again? Or don't you have one?"

Bare-chested and sleepy-eyed, Fox walked down to her side. "It's not that I don't
have
one, my dear, but simply that I don't
need
one. That's the beauty of life in the West. One isn't confined by a lot of stiff-necked rules." He gestured toward her bar of scented soap and the linen towel discreetly monogrammed with Maddie's mother's initials. "You call that a bath?"

"It will have to suffice for the moment," she replied warily.

Fox nodded. "You mean until we reach that elegant hotel where there's a hand-painted bathtub and two maids waiting to wash your hair and dry you off? There's bound to be one between here and Bear Butte."

"You needn't be sarcastic," she replied. "I shall simply make due as the need arises. It's really none of your concern."

"Well, if you don't mind," he said, strolling downstream where the stream deepened, "I believe I'll have a bath myself. There's nothing like the water in the Hills to make you feel alive, especially when a trout swims against you."

Maddie stood watching mutely as Fox began stripping off his trousers. At first she felt certain he was only teasing her, but then it became embarrassingly clear that he was serious. At the crucial moment she turned away and heard him laugh. Splashing sounds followed. Peeking between her fingers, she saw that he was waist deep in water. She took her hand away.

"Why are you laughing?"

"Because you seem to be of two minds. Last night you were a brazen temptress, insisting that passion burned in your soul, unashamed. This morning you are covered from neck to toe, bathing like a spinster and blushing when I choose to take off my clothes and wash effectively!" His blue eyes danced and he reached up with both hands to push back his wet hair, thereby giving her an unobstructed view of his magnificent chest. Sunlight percolated through the birch leaves to dapple him with gold.

Light-headed, Maddie protested, "You are far more skilled at this verbal sparring than I, and it is evident that you are used to extricating yourself from amorous entanglements. If you mean to confuse me, you are succeeding. I am no match for you in this game, sir."

Fox smiled with slow appreciation. "Modesty becomes you, but I know better than to take you at your word. You won the first encounter of this
game,
as you call it, quite decisively last night—before I even knew that a contest was in progress."

"I will not be drawn into this—"

"At least
you
have a choice!" he shot back, the bantering tone now gone from his voice.

Maddie's eyes flashed, but she remained silent. The fact that there was more than a little truth in what Fox said about her hypocrisy did not make her feel any kinder toward him. She wanted to run back to the wagon, but instead she gathered her shaky dignity and walked along the edge of the stream until she was only a few feet from Fox.

"Yes?" he inquired coolly, scrubbing his shoulders and chest with a white chunk of soap.

"I thought I should inform you that I did not climb into the wagon last night simply to force myself upon you... and since the experience was apparently so repugnant to you, I assure you that henceforth I shall refrain from trying to convince you otherwise." She hesitated, uncertain of herself and hating the feeling. "I... admit that I do have feelings for you, but I can accept your refusal to reciprocate them."

"Why, that's very civilized of you," Fox drawled. "Too bad you didn't take me at my word before last night. I
told
you to stay away from me. Virtue's a valuable commodity for a woman in your class—even in Deadwood. Do you think a gentleman
will want you if he knows you're... damaged goods?"

Her chin trembled. "That's my concern, not yours. What I really want to say is that you mustn't send me back. I know you mean to, that you can't bear my presence, but I am begging you to allow me to go with you to Bear Butte."

"Why should I?" he demanded, lathering his wet hair.

"Because I want to meet my half-sister!" Maddie cried. "I have wanted to go ever since Father told us about Yellow Bird and Sun Smile. I knew you wouldn't take me if I asked you, and I knew Father would forbid it, so Gramma Susan and I took matters into our own hands."

"So I noticed."

"I object to your arrogance, sir! Just because you are male and stronger and more self-sufficient in this environment than I, that does not make you a superior human being! On the contrary—"

To her horror, Fox bent over and began rinsing his hair, exposing muscular buttocks as he did so. As he straightened and shook his wet locks he took advantage of Maddie's momentary speechlessness to say, "I admire your conviction, but I cannot stand here in the water all morning while you hold forth. Why don't you return to the wagon and sort your ribbons, or whatever it is that you do before breakfast, and I'll join you shortly. After I am dry and fed, I'll decide what to do with you." The sight of her flushed countenance made him want to smile, but he refrained.

Maddie whirled around, started off blindly, and nearly tripped over her skirts in the tall grass. "I—I will wait for you, then, expecting to conclude our discussion," she said, striving to appear composed.

"I don't know that you're in a position to make the rules," Fox answered in an offhand tone. When she started away from him up the hill, he allowed himself a grin, then dived under the water like a fish.
Paradise,
he thought, and popped back out of the water.

Maddie stood at the edge of the trees, waiting. "I have a question."