First and Last (15 page)

She runs her hand under my shirt and my abs tighten with her touch. Where she normally touches me gently, this time there’s a desperation in the rough way her hands run over my skin. They travel higher up before stopping when they reach the bandage on my chest.

“I almost forgot,” she says. “Take it off.”

Sitting up, I grab the back of my shirt collar and pull it over my head. I barely have time to throw it on the floor before she’s kissing me again. The only time we separate is when I remove her shirt. Our hands run all over our bodies, exploring and memorizing every inch.

Her fingers fumble with my button and zipper and I slide my pants off. I copy her and now we’re both sitting here in only our underwear. We pull away and stare into each other’s eyes, seeming to communicate without words.

I want this. I want you.

I do too.

Are you sure you’re ready?

Yes.

Without breaking contact, I reach around her back and unclasp her bra, my hands trembling slightly as I do. I swallow hard when she stands in front of me, hooks her fingers in her lace underwear, and slides them down her legs.

“Fuck. You’re so gorgeous.” Her cheeks tint pink.

Standing up, I follow her lead and take off my boxers, allowing my hard on to spring free. She glances down at it before looking back up to me. She licks her lips and I can’t take anymore. I have to touch her, taste her . . . something.

Closing the distance, I kiss her again and lead her back to the bed. She lies down and I get on top of her, bracing my weight on my forearms. My dick presses against her thigh and I could die. It throbs, seeking the one thing it’s dreamt of for so long.

Leaning to my side, my hand moves over her stomach toward her center. When I reach between her thighs, she’s already wet, and that makes this even more excruciating. She’s not even really touching me and I’m so damn turned on I could use my boner as a weapon.

With one finger, I press against her entrance and I slip right in. This isn’t the first time I’ve done this to her, and I’m hoping it’ll be enough to relax her so she can enjoy this as much as possible even though I know it’s going to hurt. I move it in and out of her before adding a second finger. Her breathing increases and a soft moan comes out when my thumb touches her center. I rub it in small circles the way she likes, and it’s not long before she’s clutching the sheets and yelling into my mouth.

Reaching into my nightstand, I pull out a condom and open it with my teeth. I try to roll it on, but realize I have it the wrong way and have to flip it around before finally sliding it over my hard length. When I look back at Mia, she’s watching me wide-eyed. I suddenly become worried that she’s not ready for this.

“We don’t have to do this if you’re not ready. We can stop now. You say the word, Mia. I promise I won’t be upset.” I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.

She shakes her head. “No, I’m ready and I want to do this. Please, show me you love me.”

Holding myself above her again, I taste her sweet lips before pulling back and aligning myself up to her opening. My pulse is leaping and my breaths are heavy. “I’ll try to go quick so it doesn’t hurt for long, but tell me to stop if it’s too much, okay?” She nods and blows out a breath while she closes her eyes briefly.

Truth be told, I’m not completely confident in what I’m doing. I’m hoping it’s similar to a band aid and the faster, the better. I start to push into her and her face pulls together in discomfort. Not wanting to go too fast, I push all the way in in one, fluid motion. She gasps and winces slightly once I’m buried all the way in her. I freeze, but my muscles tremble with the need to move. This is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. She’s so tight, so wet, so warm.

“Are you okay?” I ask her, my voice strained.

She nods. “Yeah, it’s getting better. It was just a sharp pain at first, but it’s going away.”

“Do you need me to wait?”

“No, you’re good.”

I pull back slowly and have to really concentrate to make this last longer than five seconds, but as I keep moving, it becomes harder and harder. She feels too good, and I’m almost to the point of no return. My eyes squeeze shut, desperate to hold off, but it’s a losing battle.

A few minutes later, a long moan sounds in the back of my throat as my release explodes out of me. It feels like an out-of-body experience and I swear I see stars as I collapse on top of her. Gently, I pull out of her and remove the condom, being sure to tie it off before throwing it in the trash bin beside my bed. I get under the covers and hold them open for her to join me so I can hold her. She rests her head on my chest, neither of us saying a word.

“Sorry you didn’t—you know—get yours,” I offer up lamely. I’m sort of embarrassed I couldn’t last longer and all I wanted to do was make it good for her.

“I did before, remember?”

“I know, but I wanted it to be good for you too.”

“It was perfect because it was with you.”

“I love you.” I squeeze her tight and kiss the top of her head. This is it. Our last night together.

“Today was full of firsts, wasn’t it?” I ask her.

“Yeah, even though it was only one for you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know, what we just did. I’m sure—I mean, you’ve done it before.”

“That’s what you think?” She doesn’t say anything. Pushing her back gently so she can look into my eyes, I say, “Mia, you were my first everything.”

“You never told me that,” she replies quietly, almost seeming ashamed.

I shrug. “It’s not something we ever really talked about before.” She rolls over on her stomach so her chin is resting on my chest and she’s looking up at me. A smile stretches across your face. “What?” I eye her suspiciously.

She shakes her head. “Nothing. That just makes me happy.”

“Thank God for that pact, right?” I joke.

“Right.”

The day I’ve dreaded all summer is here. Mia leaves in thirty minutes, and I’m not ready. Walking over to her house, I decide to climb up the back of the house for old time’s sake. I’m a little surprised the flimsy wood supports my weight, but it gets me up to the window. I tap on it lightly and wait for her to answer.

“You could have used the door, you know?”

“What’s the fun in that?” I pull myself into her room.

“How are you feeling?” I ask with a pointed look. Her cheeks heat up and I know she understands my meaning.

“Sore, but otherwise good,” she responds.

Glancing around her room, everything seems bare, and it’s really hitting me hard in the chest. All her pictures are gone, her closet is empty, and her desk is completely cleared off. It’s only a room with furniture now. She’s really doing this. “You got everything you need?”

She glances around. “Yeah, I think so. Whatever I forget Dad can mail me.”

I nod, the pit in my stomach growing as I stand here. “I should’ve postponed my written test for the department and driven you up there.”

“No, that’s important too, Blake.”

“Not as important as spending every last minute I can with you.”

She smiles sweetly at me. “This isn’t forever. We will see each other, so remember that. How about we make a new pact?”

“What do you have in mind?”

“Before one of us has to leave, we make plans for our next visit. That way we can look forward to that and it’ll make goodbyes easier.”

“Not goodbye, just see you later,” I say.

“Exactly.”

“Okay, deal.” I hold my hand out and we shake on it.

“I’ll come see you for fall break,” I say.

“Perfect. Now we look forward to that.” She smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. It’s hard to fake happiness when both of us are sad.

“Come on, Mia! We gotta go!” her dad yells from downstairs.

With a deep breath in and out, she gets up and walks to the door. I follow closely behind her. When we get to the bottom, I drape my arm over her shoulders, trying to hold on to her until the very last second. I’m going to miss the way she looks when she first wakes up, the sound of her giggles when I do something stupid, the smell of her lavender shampoo, and the feel of her lips on mine.

I walk her to her car and know this is it. We hold each other tightly as she buries her face in my chest. I hear her sniff a few times as her body shudders and know she’s crying, which isn’t making this any easier on me. “Don’t cry. You know I hate it when you cry,” I whisper into her hair.

She pulls back and we kiss until her dad clears his throat behind us. “Okay, you two. I think that’s good enough.” There’s a little humor in his voice, but I know he’s serious. Even though Mr. Avery likes me, there are certain boundaries I’m careful not to cross in front of him. And mauling his daughter’s face with my tongue is one of them.

After she gets into the car, I close the door behind her, shutting my heart in there with her. “I love you,” she says through the glass.

“I love you more.”

October 2002

T
hat first day Mia left was hell. I didn’t know I could miss a person so damn much my chest hurt. It’s only been two months since I’ve seen her, but it might as well be a lifetime. The time apart doesn’t matter now as I park my car and see her gorgeous smile outside of her dorm. As soon as I step out of my car, I can’t wait a second longer and jog over to her, scooping her up in my arms. I bury my face in her neck, inhaling as I hold her tight. “God, I’ve missed you,” I mumble into the crook of her neck. Damn, she gives me butterflies.

“I’ve missed you too.” We kiss and my heart feels whole again. “Come on and I’ll introduce you to my roommate,” she says.

We walk into her building and get in the elevator. “Will this roommate be giving us some alone time?” I ask into her ear while I grab her ass. She giggles and swats my chest playfully.

“I’m kidding; you’re not going to meet her. She already left to go home for break. We have the whole room to ourselves.” They’re on fall break for four days, so I offered to drive up and see her so she wouldn’t have to make the long trip for a short visit.

“You little tease.” My dick twitches at the thought of being alone with her in mere seconds.

Once we enter her room, I pounce. Pushing her up against her door, I attack her neck with my lips. I nip and suck my way down until my path is obstructed by her shirt. I remove it to remedy that situation. Her hands go in my hair as I pay attention to the mounds of her tits spilling out of her bra. She’s so fucking perfect.

As I work her breasts with my hands and mouth, she makes quick work of undoing my pants. That’s when everything goes from zero to sixty in no time flat.

I throw her onto the bed, having rid her of the rest of her clothes and underwear. I kick off my pants and boxers, and pull off my shirt before I follow after her. We’re frenzied, two lovers who have been deprived of the other for far too long. Our bodies do the talking, communicating exactly what we feel better than any words could.

I flip us over so she’s on top. She rises up and looks at me for guidance. “I’ve been dreaming about you on top since our first time. Is that okay?”

She nods her head. “Yeah,” she says with a nervous edge. “I’m just not real sure what to do.”