First Kiss (Heavy Influence) (13 page)

             
“Hey, it’s Nadine,” Jake announced, cheerful. I imagined myself bopping him upside the head. Didn’t he get it? Didn’t he hear what I said about Nadine liking him? We were supposed to keep our hanging out under wraps. What an idiot. What the hell was she doing here anyway? I wondered, silently fuming. My stomach acids were raging.  I composed myself, making like I was out of it, since I was supposed to be sick. I hoped Jake didn’t forget about that too.

             
“Hey, what’s up?” I said weakly.

             
“I just went to your house and your mom said you were over here having a guitar lesson, so I thought I’d come over and check it out,” she said, looking around curiously.

             
“Yeah, well, since I’d blocked this time with him I didn’t wanna cancel, since it was only for an hour,” I attempted to convince her.

             
Jake chimed in, eliminating the negativity. Nadine’s eyes lit up when he began to speak to her. I wanted to slap her upside the head too with the guitar I held in my hands. I reminded myself that she didn’t know how I felt about him. She should be the one slapping me around. That guilty feeling crept in again. Ugh, I hated myself. What was I gonna do?

“So, Nadine, do you know how to play any instruments?” he asked.

              “I use to take piano lessons ages ago,” she answered, smiling. “I know how to read music and I think it would be easy for me to learn.”

             
“Yeah, well that’ll make it much easier for you since you have an ear for the notes,” Jake nodded his head. He looked over at me and winked. I was afraid to look at Nadine in case she caught that. “So, you interested in lessons?”

I almost passed out when I heard the words hurl out of his mouth. I immediately excused myself and went into the bathroom without looking at him. I didn’t shut the door all the way because I wanted to eavesdrop. I could hear him back peddling. He wa
s stammering. Good, I thought, that’ll teach him. I laughed silently, triumphant.

             
Nadine was prying:

“So, how long has Aly been here? I mean, how long ago did her lesson start, are you almost done?”

              “We actually just started, my mom was here, and hadn’t seen Aly in a long time.”

             
It was killing me! He was sharing too much information! I could only imagine what she looked like, with her tits hangin’, spilling out of her tank top. I had to keep reminding myself that this wasn’t her fault. She was just being herself. I was the one that was the back stabber. I berated myself for the mean thoughts going through my head like a roadrunner on crack.             

             
“Why don’t you come back in an hour, we should be done.”
Jake suggested
.

I couldn’t believe my ears! Did my ears hear correctly? What the hell was he thinking? I leaned against the door in disbelief and strained to hear more:

“I can call Mike over and I’m sure he would be glad to make a schedule for lessons, besides he owes me. I would offer, but Aly is enough for me right now. I shouldn’t even be spending the time with her.”

“Oh, sure, yeah, I understand. If Mike could do that, it would be awesome.”

I could hear the disappointment in Nadine’s voice.

             
“I’m sure it’ll be no prob. I just have too much to prepare for with the upcoming tour and all.”

             
“Oh, ok, I’m sorry.”

She sounded sincere. Now I really felt bad.

             
“Hey, don’t be sorry. Come back in an hour and I’ll have more info. Ok? Let me go check on Aly.”

Oh shit! I gently shut the bathroom door and locked it. I ran the water and wet my face. My heart raced. Even though I anticipated his knock at the door, my heart still lurched into my throat.

              “Aly, you ok?” he asked gently.

             
“Yeah,” I said opening the door, peeved. I wanted him to know I was upset. I dried my face with a hand towel, my words muffled, “Did she leave?”

             
He shook his head no and I gave him a tight, evil eye. He grabbed my arm tossing me into the hallway. He practically shoved me along the way. I put on a pathetic sick face as we rounded the corner back into the living room. I walked slowly, moving my hair from my face, which I matted wet against my forehead.

I sat on the sofa, giving a frail smile. “Hey, sorry I didn’t call. I’m feeling a lot better than I did yesterday, but still not quite right.” I offered this explanation even though I knew she didn’t care. She was probably pissed as shit at me that I crept in on her territory.

              “It’s ok, I hope you feel better,” she said sympathetically. “Jake’s gonna have Mike come over to teach me to play the guitar too.”

She glittered with excitement. By all appearances she didn’t seem to be mad at me. I was cautiously relieved. I’d certainly know the truth when she had me alone.

              We sat there quiet for a moment and Jake pulled a metallic blue and black pack of gum out of his pocket, offering up a piece as he popped one into his mouth. He prompted Nadine to leave by standing up and touching her shoulder. Nadine bounced out of her seat and practically danced out of the room.

“Alright, I’ll see you in a little bit! Aly, I hope you’re still here when I come back
.” She disappeared out the door. I reminded myself to tread lightly with my assumption that she’d be ok with this arrangement and considered my options while I chewed my gum.

Jake sat and put his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close. I melted into him as he leaned back, sinking into the cushions. My head bounced around on his chest when he began to chuckle.

“Why are you laughing,” I asked, miffed. He was making fun of me.

             
“I’m laughing at you. You have to trust that I know how to play the game, Aly.”

             
“Oh, do you?” I said sarcastically, “Please share with me what you know about game playing, with girls.”

             
He smiled thoughtfully and his eyes roamed my face. My insides bubbled. I instinctively tried to pull away but he held me firmly in place.

“Relax Aly, the Nadine thing will work out, I have a plan.”

I closed my eyes relaxing, slightly. I suddenly felt his lips brush lightly against my temple and a bit of breath escaped me. As much as I wanted him to really kiss me. I was scared. My mind reeled –
what if I kissed like shit? What if I drooled all over him? What if I couldn’t control myself?

             
“Jake?” Our faces nearly touched. He leaned down and softly kissed the side of my mouth. My breathing instantly became shallow and erratic. The
energy
was pulsing between us. “Jake, I don’t think -” As I began to speak, he gently kissed me full on the lips and it took my breath away.

             
His voice was a low and silky. His warm minty breath washed over my face. His lips brushed against my cheek and pressed softly onto mine. My heart thumped a million miles per hour and I pulled back. Sensing my hesitation, he released me. My chin dropped to my chest, my eyes averting his. I was embarrassed. He lifted my chin to bring us face to face and placed his forehead against mine.

             
“I’m sorry, I should have asked,” he whispered, pulling me close once more. I buried my face into his neck.

             
“Jake, I’m the one who’s sorry, I’m not –” I had trouble spitting it out. I didn’t want to sound like a baby.

             
“Why are you sorry? Don’t be sorry, that’s ridiculous.” He rubbed my back tenderly and moved, making room between us.

             
I sighed deeply, and words came out like a dam burst, “Maybe I
am
too young for you. I’m not what you’re used to. I know about guys like you…”

             
He put his finger to my mouth stopping the avalanche of dialog, “Wait, what? Guys like me?” he repeated, sounding offended. “Guys like me, what?”

             
“I know you’re used to being with girls, and you know I wanna be there too, but…” I giggled nervously, “Wait that came out wrong.”

He laughed, throwing his head back.

              “So, you wanna be what?” He teased and his eyes glimmered.

             
“You know what I’m trying to say, Jake, don’t make this harder for me than it already is.” I begged, shoving at his knee.

             
“Please continue. I wanna know more about guys like me.” He grinned and enjoyed watching me squirm.

             
“You know what, never mind. I’m not gonna continue humiliating myself.” I pouted.

             
He hugged me, sniggering. “Alright, I’m sorry. I get it, but check this out. You don’t know guys like me, Aly.”

             
Wait, what was that suppose to mean? Is he agreeing with me?

“What?”

              “This thing with you isn’t the same as it would be with someone I just met at a party, or someone at school, or some fan girl.” He released my shoulders and placed his elbows on his knees. His head hung low and his lush hair waved over his forehead. After a long moment he continued, looking at me. “I’m in no rush with this. I don’t wanna be anywhere else other than being on tour. I totally dig hangin’ with you. It’s comfortable.”

             
“I still feel lame. I’m sorry I keep bringing it up.”

             
“Don’t be. I’m perfectly fine kissing you like we’re still in 6
th
grade.” His smirk grew more pronounced.

I could have been insulted or embarrassed, but I wasn’t. I was relieved. The thought of French kissing him made me nervous beyond belief. Even though I’d dreamt about doin
g it more than a million times. Actually doing it with
him
was another story.

13

Alyssa

              I continued with the lies, kind of, texting my mom explaining I was with Nadine, which would be true soon enough. I tried to keep things on the up and up – for the most part.

Jake finished his call with Mike and was all smiles.

              “What? You wanted a solution, now we have one.”

God he was beautiful. I was enthralled. Words couldn’t describe how much I was taken by his entire…
everything
.

             
I gave him a sideways grin.

             
Jake reached over and took my hand. His skin was so much warmer than mine. He played with my fingers, tracing my nail beds, giving me the chills.

“You have nice hands, and nails,
real nails – not those fake lame ones,” he remarked, pausing. His eyes roamed my face. “So you don’t wanna continue your lesson?”

             
I groaned. “No, I don’t. I don’t feel like it now. When is Nadine coming back? Is Mike coming over now too?”

             
“Yeah, in about forty-five minutes.”

             
I was resigned. The plan was set in motion and I couldn’t change it.

“So, what’s this thing you’d promised to do to get Mike to commit?”

              “We’re gonna play at a house party.”

             
I had heard about these house party drunk-fests. “Keggers,” my father called them. They were off limits to my brother and sister – supposedly. I knew they still went when they stayed over at their friend’s. I would overhear my sister crafting her plan. Nicole and I would sit with our ears pressed up against the wall, listening to the gossip of high school life. Finally we were going to be a part of it.

             
“Where’s the party at? I inquired. Like it really mattered, but I was curious anyway.

             
“You’re not gonna wanna hear this, but it’s at Rachel’s place. I’d already been going back and forth about playing there. Now I’m locked in.” He motioned, resigned, brushing crumbs around the tabletop. “It’s basically a summer kick-off party. She’s always had them, since like seventh grade.”

I pictured The Envies at the party, standing out in all their perfectness...how was I going to measure up? I felt an inch tall and totally insecure. I focused on the fact that I was holding Jake’s hand and that he was gently rubbing the inside of my palm with his fingertips.

“Do you think Rachel would let us come to the party? Or are we too young? Like is this only a senior thing?” I tried to sound nonchalant.

             
“I’d say come. I’ll just tell her you guys are coming. Fuck it.” He shrugged. My mood buoyed. “She knows who you are to me, so whatever.”

             
“Really, and what’s that?” I asked, surprised at my boldness.