First Time: Ian's Story (First Time (Ian) Book 1) (26 page)

No. That wasn’t what tonight
was about. Not if it was
the
night. “Wait, wait.” I covered her hands with mine
and pressed them flat to my chest, to prevent her from undoing
further buttons. “You’re sure you don’t want to wait for something
more romantic?”

“
I’ve been waiting for
something ‘more romantic’ since I was thirteen years old,” she
said, a bitter, weary expression dulling the light in her eyes.
Then that light returned, as fierce a blaze as a burning building.
“Can’t it just be enough that I love you?”

There it was. She’d said it. “It’s
everything.”

Our mouths crushed together. My hands braced
her at the small of her back as she crumpled greedy handfuls of my
shirt in her fists. I had to tear myself away; I could have lost
myself in doing that all night, but it also seemed like I might
lose a perfectly good shirt under Penny’s fingernails.

“
Should we go up to the
bedroom?” I couldn’t take my eyes off her mouth, all swollen and
shining. I was nervous as hell to meet her gaze.

When I did, she whispered, “Yes.”

Chapter Thirteen

Penny went up the stairs ahead of me, her
hips swaying languidly from side-to-side with every step. I wanted
to run my hands under her skirt, bend her over, and fuck right
there on the stairs.

On this staircase? That
would be suicide,
I told myself, eyeing the
open spaces between each step. Besides, I only had one hand at the
moment; she held onto the other one like it was a leash, though she
hardly needed to drag me after her. I popped the buttons on my
shirt and followed her into my bedroom.

“
I’m going to go get a
condom. Just so we have one within reach.”
Lord, if You have ever loved me as a child made in Your own
image, there will be condoms in the medicine cabinet.
Maybe that wasn’t the sort of thing God would be
interested in, being Catholic and all. I wasn’t supposed to have
any means of contraception in my home. But I wasn’t supposed to be
divorced and having sex out of wedlock, either, and I was
definitely going to do the latter tonight, even if I have to drive
to a drugstore in my underwear.

I tossed my shirt over the end of the bed
and went into the bathroom. I’d forgotten that I’d bought condoms
after Gena had left, thinking I would get out there and have plenty
of tawdry, borderline anonymous sex to get over her. I’d been too
much of a wreck to even consider it, so there they’d sat, a sad,
unopened reminder of my pathetic middle age.

Now, I was going to have sex, with a woman I
cared deeply about. A woman who was counting on me to be gentle and
patient and to make her first experience as wonderful as she
deserved. I caught my reflection in the mirror. I don’t think I’d
ever looked so terrified in my entire life.

I cracked my neck and put on
my game face.
You love this woman. You
want to be with her for the rest of your fucking life. For God’s
sake, man, you want her to bear your children. If she’s willing to
put up with all of that from you, then you owe it to her to get out
there and fulfill every one of her expectations. And some that she
didn’t know she had. If you fuck this up, you’re a worthless husk
of a man and you don’t fucking deserve her. No pressure.

I had to get out of that bathroom before I
made myself cry. I fumbled to open the box, pulled out one square
plastic packet, and went back to the bedroom.

Her black dress lay in in a puddle on the
floor. Penny took two slow, measured steps into one of the
rectangular slashes of moonlight that fell from the angled windows.
She wore my white button down better than a Victoria’s Secret model
wore lingerie. I saw a flash of her black panties in the parting of
the unfastened buttons but no indication of a bra. Her nipples
showed as hard peaks against the fabric.

I couldn’t move. I could barely breathe,
without reminding myself that it would be helpful.

“
I didn’t know how naked I
should be.” She pulled the shirt closed across her middle. “I
thought I would surprise you, but then I got nervous
and—”

If she finished her sentence, I didn’t hear
it over the sound of every drop of blood in my body pounding toward
my erection. I’d been so caught up in the idea of Penny the virgin,
I’d somehow overlooked Penny the woman, and now she was standing in
front of me, her big eyes so unsure, her tousled blond hair like
threads of silver instead of gold in the light.

She shifted from one foot to the other. “Say
something.”

I did more than say something. I strode
across the too-wide gap between us and hooked an arm around her
back to pull her up tight. The shirt parted, and her hot, bare skin
brushed my chest. I tossed the condom on the bed and boosted her
up. She wrapped her legs around my waist, the way she had done
weeks ago on our date at the pool, but this time, she didn’t let
go. She didn’t blush or pull away. Instead, she clung to my
shoulders so tightly I would need a pry bar to dislodge her.

Not that I wanted to.

I carried her to the bed and set her on her
feet beside it. I dropped to my knees before her, steadying her
with my hands behind her thighs. Every part of her was silky and
soft. She would feel so good beneath my fingertips, my lips,
pressed skin to skin. But I couldn’t rush. I pushed up the shirt
and nuzzled my cheek against her belly.

The noise she made was somewhere between a
pleasantly surprised squirrel and a small dog having an asthma
attack. I smiled to myself. “You know, that makes me nervous. If
this takes your breath away, what will happen when I do this?”

I kissed her just below her belly button,
and her hips canted forward. She dove her fingers into my hair,
clenching and unclenching them, pulling and releasing. My hands
followed the backs of her thighs, up the lace edge of her panties
were it curved over her perfect round bottom.

“
Take the shirt off,” I
murmured, giving her another, lower kiss. “Let me see
you.”

The shirt was on the floor in a flurry of
movement, and she stood over me, her chest lifted, breasts tight
and dappled with gooseflesh. I eased her down to sit on the
mattress.

“
You know we can stop if
you’re not ready, or you don’t like it. Just tell me.” I prayed
that she would tell me. There was nothing I wanted less than to
make her feel uncomfortable or obligated to finish. I wasn’t that
selfish, and I could always jerk off later.

“
Okay. I’ll remember that.”
Her ribs expanded with a deep breath. “But right now, can you
please fuck me?”

It humbled me that she wanted me so much. I
couldn’t understand why, but far be it from me to argue with
her.

“
Happy to oblige. But can I
do one thing first?” I curled my finger to beckon her closer, and
she leaned down.

“
Um. Okay,” she said,
uncertainty tipping her voice from confident to
confused.

I pushed her hair back to find her ear and
suck the lobe into my mouth. She swayed against me, and I released
her skin to whisper, “I want to get my head between your thighs and
taste you. What do you say, Doll? Are you up for it?”

“
Oh God. Y-yes,” she
whispered, and pushed herself back to lean against the
pillows.

My knees didn’t crack when I stood, and I
mentally thanked every saint I could think of for that blessing. I
got on the bed and settled between her legs, and she lifted up,
rubbing against my erection through my trousers. I kissed her
throat and ground against her, happy for the faint relief the
pressure brought me. “You have no patience.”

I started out slowly, dropping kisses from
her neck to her sternum, over her breasts, but when I neared her
belly button, I picked up the pace. She’d waited for a long time
for someone to do this for her, and while I planned to make the
wait worth her while, I didn’t see a reason to delay any longer.
Hooking my fingers under the sides of her panties, I ran my tongue
along the waistband, but I didn’t pull them down. I rubbed my nose
against her through them, up and down her slit. She was already
wet, practically soaked through; I could smell her through the
material.

Her body stiffened.

I’d been with enough women
to know when reassurance was needed. “You smell good enough to
eat,” I assured her. And she did, her own unique scent of arousal
and musk and
Penny
that got my blood pumping harder and made my mouth water. I
dragged her panties down, and she assisted me in removing them, at
least far enough that I had access to her most intimate parts. The
scrap of black lace still looped one ankle.

Though I had some familiarity with Penny’s
vulva, it had come by touch alone. I’d tried to imagine her from
the contours I’d felt beneath my fingers, but I hadn’t done her
justice. Downy hair, a slightly darker blond than on her head, was
trimmed into a neat triangle at the top of the seam of her labia,
the inner set of which peeked out, frilled and delicate. I spread
her with my thumbs to see the nub of her clit, stiff and straining,
and I kissed it, softly, barely touching the hood. She moaned that
throaty sound that had haunted my memory since she’d lain on my
couch and asked me to make her come.

I looped my arms beneath her knees and
gripped her hips to pull her onto my waiting tongue. I pressed it,
flat and wide, against her cunt then licked up, circling her clit
before sucking her into my mouth. She sat up and grabbed my hair,
shoving me tight against her.

I hoped she would let me breathe, but it
wouldn’t be the worst way to die.

I explored her the way I had with my fingers
before, trying to find where she needed me through the guidance of
her breathy exclamations and jerks of her pelvis. I knew I was on
the right track when I swept my tongue from side to side over her
engorged clit and she shouted, “Oh God!” It was like finding the
path to the lost city of gold, and it was a path I wouldn’t veer
from. She writhed and gasped, her head whipping from side to side.
If not for the curled hands tugging at the duvet beneath her, I
would have thought she was in the unpleasant kind of distress. I
reached for those hands and threaded our fingers together.

“
I’m coming!” she cried,
over and over, her grip on my fingers tightening almost painfully.
I kept on sucking and flicking while she rode my face, until I felt
those four strong pulses at the opening of her pussy, against my
chin. Her body jolted, then relaxed, boneless against the
bed.

Lifting my head, I pulled one of my hands
back and wiped my face. Christ, she was probably going to end up
dehydrated after this. That was an ego boost if I’d ever had one.
“Do you want me to keep going?”

She paused, considering, but then pleaded,
rather desperately, “No. I need you to fuck me right now. I need
you inside me.”

“
Fuck.” I ran my hand down
my face and gritted my back teeth. I’d been so focused on her
pleasure that I’d neglected to realize how fucking turned on I was,
and premature ejaculation was not something I wanted to add to my
repertoire. Penny, begging me to fuck her, telling me she needed me
inside her… Those words held an erotic power I doubted she was
aware of. “I’m going to remember that, the way you said it… I’ll
hear it in my head every time I jerk off for the rest of my
life.”

I stood and unbuckled my belt, then quickly
stripped off my pants. She looked up at me with wide eyes, and
though there was only horny appreciation in her gaze, I felt a bit
guilty. She deserved to be with some young, muscular stud with abs
like tank treads. Not a middle-aged man with a normal human body.
It was extremely unfair that I was about to have sex with a woman
who could have sprinted off the cover of a fitness magazine, and
all she got was me.

She stood in the scant space between the bed
and my body and put her arms around me. The silky skin of her belly
brushed against my cock, and my knees nearly buckled. I put my arms
around her, and she pressed her flushed cheek against my chest.

“
Do you still want to do
this?” I murmured, because I had to be sure.

“
Yeah. I really do.” She
turned and leaned over to pull the duvet back. My fingers ached to
dig into her hips and haul her backwards.
Some other time
.

She slid onto the bed and said, haltingly,
“Look…I’m not sure if it’s true that you bleed the first time, or…
I mean, if you don’t want your sheets messed up… The internet says
no, that doesn’t happen, but my friends in high school said that it
does—”

“
I wouldn’t know.” Blood?
God, I didn’t want it to come to that. I wanted to fuck her, not
injure her. But I was out of my depth in this situation. I brushed
the backs of my fingers down her cheek; she suddenly seemed too
fragile to touch. “I’ve never been anyone’s first. But I promise,
I’m going to be careful. And the sheets are the last thing on my
mind.”

There was no graceful way to segue into
putting on a condom, so I found it in the bedding and put it on
while she watched with great interest.

“
Aren’t you supposed to put
a drop of lube in there, so it feels better?” she asked. “Do you
have any lube?”

Good idea, but not for me. “I do, but the
last thing I need is more stimulation. I’m worried about lasting
long enough as it is.” Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. I reached
into the nightstand and pulled out the bottle. “Probably better if
we use some for you, just to make things easier.”