First Time: Ian's Story (First Time (Ian) Book 1) (27 page)

More lubrication was always better. That
should have made it into the commandments.

She shifted on bed. “How do you want
me?”

Every single way
possible
. I tried not to think of how much
my cock ached as I rubbed the lube over the surface of the condom.
“I think that’s up to you. Whatever you want.”

“
Okay. I think I want you on
top.”

I wanted to be on top of her, so it all
worked out, didn’t it? I rejoined her on the bed and knelt between
her legs, leaning over her to kiss her, to lave along her jawbone
and suck at the tops of her breasts. She lifted up, in what I
assumed was the signal to move along. I leaned beside her ear and
asked, “Are you ready?”

She held onto my shoulders and whispered,
“Yes.”

This is it.
I wondered how evenly matched she and I were on a
scale of one to nervous. My hand closed around my cock, and I
guided myself down to her opening. She was wet, and the lube was
almost overkill; I slipped inside faster than I’d expected, not too
deep but far too sudden.

My head snapped up, and she
stared back at me with wide eyes.
Great,
you idiot, you hurt her.

“
Are you all right? Do you
want to—” Ah, of course she wanted to stop.

I moved to pull out, and she held onto me
with a ragged, “No, keep going.”

She opened her legs more, so I could sink
deeper, but it wasn’t the angle that was the problem, really. It
was the fact that her vagina was like a vise, and my cock, already
fit to burst from the pressure in it, felt like it might explode,
in an unpleasant way. “I hate to ask, but it feels like you’re
going to snap my cock off. Is there anything I can do to help you
relax?”

“
Oh! I’m sorry!” She laughed
then took a slow, deep breath. “This is just really exciting. And a
little nerve-wracking.”

“
Well, you’re doing fine.” I
kissed her, and as her mouth melted beneath mine, her inner muscles
melted, too, inviting me in deeper.

She tore her mouth away and gasped, “Oh my
God, Ian!” and when my slow, gentle strokes seemed to be
insufficient, she wasn’t afraid to tell me, “You can go deeper.
You’re not hurting me.”

It was refreshing to receive that kind of
guidance, and I was thrilled that Penny felt she could give it to
me. In return, I gave her what she’d asked for and slid all the way
inside. I bumped some resistance deep within her, and she
jumped.

“
Too far?” I asked, pulling
back.

“
No, it’s perfect. I just…
I’m surprised by how different this feels—” The word ascended in
pitch and died in a little gasp as I pulled back. Her hands splayed
awkwardly against my shoulder and the small of my back. She buried
her face in my neck and clung to me. “Please fuck me. For real.
Please.”

“
For real?” I couldn’t
believe I still had the power of speech. Her body was so soft and
hot where it pressed against me. She nodded and licked her lips,
and I leaned down, moving deeper inside her. I caught her mouth
with mine and withdrew as slowly and gently as possible. She lifted
one of her legs, and I grabbed her calf to hook her knee around my
waist.

The phrase “like a duck to water” came to
mind as she moved beneath me. Inexperienced though she might be,
she knew her body’s rhythm well. In no time at all, she was rocking
with me, meeting me as I filled her, again and again.

“
Um, do you mind if I…play
with myself a little?”

Jesus, she really was trying to end this
quickly, wasn’t she? I was glad I was on top, because if I had to
lay back and watch her ride me with her fingers rubbing over her
slippery, swollen clit…

I shouldn’t have started thinking down that
road. “Fuck, no, I don’t mind. I want to feel you come.”

And, hopefully, stave off coming myself,
until she was finished. The condom helped. I’d never liked the
bastards, but if I could actually feel the wet heat of her on my
skin, it would all be over. She was so wet I could hear her parting
around my cock. She slipped her hand between us, then down, forking
two fingers around the width of me where I entered her. I groaned
and tried to think of anything besides her moans as she tensed
beneath me. Her nails bit into my back. I would have scratches in
the morning, for sure. Those strong pulses—four, apparently, was
her personal signature—squeezed my cock, and she shouted a loud
exclamation of pure satisfaction. She clung to me, bursts of
nonsensical vocalization echoing my every thrust. Then she shouted,
“Oh my God, I’m actually having sex!”

“
Ah, Doll, not for much
longer, I’m afraid.” I laughed then kissed her. I wanted to feel
exactly as I did at that moment for the rest of my life. The way
she held me, moaned for me, the way she had trusted me to do this
with her, to see her like this, when it was a privilege she’d never
afforded anyone before… I wanted it to go on and on. But the tight,
hot squeeze of her cunt around me and the satiny feel of her thighs
around my waist pushed me past the point of control, and I drove
into her hard, groaning through our kiss.

I stayed with her for as long as possible,
but I was fairly sure I’d ejaculated half my body weight and the
last thing we needed to mar her hopefully positive experience was a
leakage situation and emergency contraception.

I would have to say so many Hail Marys to
make up for a morning after pill.

Easing out of her, I rolled to my back and
tried to disguise the fact that I was breathing like the little
engine that really fucking couldn’t. I caught her hand and brought
it to my lips. “You all right, Doll?”

“
Yeah.” Her tone was
shockingly normal, as though she’d flipped sex mode off completely.
“Yeah, I expected that I would be… I don’t know. Weepy? That I
would feel some profound sense of transition from one phase of my
life to the next? But I don’t.”

At first, it seemed like an insult. Then I
tried to remember how I’d felt the first time I’d had sex; pretty
much the same, except for a constant loop of, “I had sex,” that had
sent me running shamefacedly to the confessional. “Fair enough. How
do you feel?”

I reached for a tissue from the nightstand
and carefully took off the condom. But no matter how carefully you
did it, it always felt like shocking your dick with a cattle
prod.

“
I feel…tired. And really,
really good. Can I have two orgasms every time we do it?” She
rolled onto her stomach, her cute, round little arse pale in the
light from the window over our head. She leaned in and kissed me on
the cheek.

“
God, minimum, I hope.” I
wanted a chance to hold her down and make her come until she begged
me to stop. I wanted to be the only man who could give her exactly
the kind of release that she craved. But first things first, “Maybe
I’ll last longer than five minutes next time.”

“
It’s okay. I think probably
a little bit of sex the first time is better than way too much
sex.” She reached between her legs. “But it didn’t hurt at
all.”

“
Thank God!” I covered my
face, because I thought I might cry from the relief. “That was my
biggest fear, doing this.”

“
I know. Which was why I
wasn’t nervous.” She was a terrible liar; she’d been as terrified
as I had.

“
This may sound a bit
creepy. You’ll have to just forgive me for that.” I paused. “But
thank you. I know you waited a long time, and I know how much this
meant to you. So, thank you for letting me share it with
you.”

We kissed, and it was every bit as sweet and
tender and thrilling as that first kiss in the park. “I love you. I
know I didn’t say it when you did, but I felt it, then. I just
wanted it to be…special.”

“
You’re special, Penny
Parker.” Ah, my voice was going to break. So much for being tough
and stoic and manly for the virginal maiden I’d deflowered.
Somehow, I didn’t think she minded. I cradled her jaw in my hand.
“And I love you, too.”

* * * *

An absence of snoring woke me. When I opened my
eyes, I truly expected to find Penny dead, because there was no way
she’d just suddenly started sleeping quietly. The room was hazy,
growing worse with each painfully dry blink.

Damn, I’d slept with my contacts in.

Penny wasn’t in bed with me—she hadn’t died
in her sleep after all, and that was a relief—but I could still
make out the dark shapes of her discarded clothing against the
floor, so she hadn’t left, either. Which meant a beautiful blond
woman with an arse you could bounce a quarter off of was free-range
roaming in my apartment, stark naked.

There were worse ways to wake up, but it
would have been better if I didn’t have soft plastic melded to my
fucking eyeballs.

I heard her footsteps in the hall before the
murky shape of her body appeared in the doorway, outlined in light
like an angel appearing to a coma patient in a movie. I squinted to
try and clear my vision, to no avail. “Are those my jeans?”

She tossed something across the end of the
bed and stood there, blurry and topless. “Yeah, I found them. The
Mickey Mouse look isn’t as sexy as the Donald Duck look, huh?”

“
Oh, no, I think it’s
sexier.” I just wished I could see it. “Your tits are
out.”

She laughed, the blurry shape of her arms
moving across her chest. “So…thanks, by the way. For making last
night…” Even as hazy as my vision was, I could see her full body
shiver.

“
You’re speechless and
trembling. I get the picture.” And I’d never felt so fucking proud
of myself. I should have gotten out of bed and taken care of the
situation that was rapidly blinding me, but she was so close, and
the memory of her silky, warm skin seduced me into staying. I
pulled back the covers. “Get back in here.”

She lost the jeans and got in beside me.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t want to have sex right
now.”

“
Feel it this morning?” Not
that physical discomfort was the only reason she should decline
sex; I hadn’t meant it to come off that way.

Before I could correct myself, she said,
“Yeah. I think I pulled a muscle, too.”

That, I could sympathize with entirely. I
felt as though I’d run a marathon without any training. “A nap is
always good for that.”

“
We just woke up!” She
wriggled in closer, laughing. “But I’m fine with staying naked in
bed all day. It’s so relaxing.”

“
I’m loath to get out of
bed, but my contacts are glued to my fucking eyeballs. I want you
to stay right here, and when I get back, we’ll talk about
breakfast.” I kissed her; I didn’t give a damn about our morning
breath, when she was so close and her body felt so perfect against
mine. Before we could start anything that she didn’t want to
finish, I rolled out of bed and started for the bathroom. Ah, but
Penny’s vision wasn’t as affected as mine. She could see fine.
“Don’t look at my sad, flat arse while I’m walking
away.”

“
I love your sad, flat
arse!” she called after me, and I grinned to myself as I shut the
door.

I poured a ridiculous amount of saline into
my eyes and stumbled to the toilet for a piss. Then, after a mighty
fight, I managed to peel out my contacts. I took my horrible,
black-rimmed glasses from the medicine cabinet, put them on, and
frowned at myself. I’d been going through some kind of midlife
panic when I’d picked out the frames, and I’d mistakenly thought I
could pull off the cool, ironic, ugly glasses look.

Ah well. Penny had already seen my trash bin
full of plastic spoons and peanut butter leavings, and she hadn’t
run from that disaster. The glasses weren’t likely to be the final
nail in the coffin.

When I came back to the bed, Penny sat up a
bit. I thought she was going to make some smart remark about the
glasses. Instead, she frowned and said, “I wanted to ask you about
something you said at dinner last night.”

Oh, but this was a conversation I’d hoped
we’d already gotten past. I got in beside her. “Yeah, that wasn’t
my finest hour. I’m sorry if I made things… Well, I’m sure I made
things difficult for you down the road with your parents.”

“
You did, but I don’t care
about them. What I wanted to ask about was your family.”

My family. My guts twisted as I frantically
tried to remember what I may or may not have said the night
before.

“
You told me on our first
date that you were one of nine children,” she went on. “And then
last night you said—”

“
One of seven. Yeah.” I
cleared my throat, hoping to push down some of the bile that had
crept up it, and looked away from her. The morning had been going
so well. Why this discussion? Why now?

“
So…if this is out of line,
you don’t have to answer. I was just wondering…why did you leave
out the other two?”

I looked down at the sheet and pretended
there was lint there I could pick away. But I didn’t see the clean
cotton. I saw cheap linoleum, covered with smears and pools of
sticky red. I could smell it, the copper stench in that hot, dark
apartment, even now.

Penny’s voice was soft, pulling me slightly
toward the surface of the sea of memory trying to drown me. “They
died, didn’t they?”

“
Yeah.” I cleared my throat
a couple more times, but the taste was still there. I could
taste
that thick,
horrible smell, even all these years later. “I don’t, uh. I don’t
generally talk about it.”