Authors: Rich Amooi
What was he doing?
The man looked both ways, like he wanted to cross the street—even though the light was red.
Bad idea, considering the amount of traffic.
“Don’t even think about it …” Ellie knew the intersection very well.
The man ignored her and proceeded to step off the curb.
“Hey, are you crazy?” She grabbed the man’s arm and pulled him back as a UPS truck zipped by, the driver honking his horn.
Chapter Three
Cedric’s heart slammed into his ribs. He watched as the UPS truck that almost took him out, disappeared down the street.
What an idiot.
He was running five minutes late to meet a real estate lawyer, obviously not paying attention. Cedric had a lot on his mind, but that didn’t mean he had to jeopardize his own life and/or break the law. You can’t solve problems when you’re dead.
He spun around and saw a woman with dark, shoulder-length, wavy hair, and big brown eyes that matched the color of the UPS truck. His gaze dropped to her hand that still held on to his shirt.
No ring.
Yeah. Like he was going to do anything about that.
“Dude, that truck would have killed you,” said a man next to her with a San Jose Sharks hat. “She saved your life!”
“Not necessarily,” the woman said, letting go of Cedric’s shirt and kindly trying to smooth out the wrinkles. “The most common injuries from the impact of a car are broken legs and hips. He could have easily recovered in six to eight months.”
“He was a goner,” said the man, walking away.
Ellie shook her head. “People exaggerate.”
“I’ve done it a million times,” Cedric said, grinning.
Ellie smiled and it felt like someone kicked Cedric in the gut. What a glorious smile—the kind that could easily melt the cheese on his favorite grilled eggplant sandwich. Cedric lost the ability to speak.
What was going on here? Maybe the woman had hypnotic powers. Yeah, that had to be it. In fact, maybe she worked with a gang of thieves. She hypnotizes people with her beauty and someone else swoops in and steals the person’s money. Cedric casually dropped his hand down to his pocket, checking for his wallet.
“Are you okay?” asked the woman.
He stared at her lips that seemed to be saying,
kiss me
.
“What?” She covered her mouth with her hand. “Do I have something in my teeth?”
“Huh? No! It’s just … did you have braces as a child?”
Cedric wanted to punch himself in the face. That had to be the most idiotic question in the history of the world. He knew he was out of practice, but what a pathetic attempt at trying to engage in a conversation with the opposite sex. Maybe she wouldn’t think anything of it.
“That’s an odd question.”
Damn.
“But, yes, I did,” she continued. “Shouldn’t be a surprise, though. Forty-five percent of children need braces on their teeth at some point.”
“Is that so?”
This woman was a walking Wikipedia.
“Yes,” she said. “Although seventy-five percent of people fear the dentist.”
“I now have a fear of large brown trucks.”
The woman laughed. “You’ll be okay. Just watch where you’re going.”
“Good advice.” Cedric stared at the woman who seemed to be radiating kindness. “How did you know the UPS truck was coming?”
“The company has ninety thousand trucks. It was very likely.”
Cedric laughed. “You’re funny.”
“Thanks. I should get back to work.”
“And beautiful.”
“Thanks again. Take care.”
The light turned green at the intersection and the woman gave Cedric another heart-stopping smile as she walked past him to cross the street.
“Wait,” said Cedric.
The woman stopped, turned, and stepped back up onto the curb. “Yes?”
Cedric couldn’t help notice her skirt doing a little cha cha cha with the breeze. If the world ever had a leg shortage, it could borrow some from her.
She narrowed her eyes at him.
Busted.
Cedric grimaced. “Sorry. Must be in shock from the near-death experience.”
“Of course.” The woman cocked her head to the side to analyze Cedric. “Anything else?”
Cedric was trying hard to get himself back out there, but that voice in his head returned—as it always did—and snapped him out of his female-induced coma.
Relationships equal pain.
He didn’t answer and just stood there, waiting for her to get the hint.
It didn’t take long before the woman’s smile disappeared. Then so did she.
*****
The next morning rolled around and Cedric slipped on a T-shirt and shorts, as Tofu lay completely sprawled out on his doggy bed.
“I’m an idiot. Did you know that?”
Tofu opened one eye to look at Cedric, and then closed it, returning back to his bliss.
“I met a woman. You should have seen her. Brunette, beautiful brown eyes, legs for days, kind, smelled nice … but when that moment came, you know, the chance to ask her out? I fell flat on my face. Splat.”
Tofu popped up on to all fours and ran to the window.
Cedric laughed. “No, I didn’t say cat, I said … never mind.” He sat down on the reading chair next to the bed to put on his running shoes. “Time for a run, buddy.”
Tofu showed his enthusiasm by banging the hell out of the geranium plant next to the window with his tail, knocking leaves and flowers to the floor.
“Control your tail or you’re going to lose it.”
Tofu jumped onto Cedric’s lap and licked his chin. Cedric smiled and scratched Tofu between the ears.
“Okay, okay. You can keep the tail. But you need to do something about that doggy breath.”
He turned up the volume on his iPod. “Beautiful Day” by U2 pumped into his ears as he ran down the sidewalk on Lincoln Avenue toward downtown. He enjoyed the peace and the fresh morning air as he passed the Starbucks, Hicklebee’s Bookstore and La Villa, the Italian Delicatessen.
Cedric stopped at the bus stop in front of the Wells Fargo Bank and put his foot on the bench, retying a shoelace that had a mind of its own. A woman at the ATM turned around and seemed to be watching him, but he pretended not to notice her long legs, short skirt, and turquoise blouse with an illustration of what appeared to be something from Picasso. His eyes finally lifted to see her face and—
Holy hell in a wishing well.
His guardian angel. The woman who saved him from being plastered by the UPS truck. And judging by the look on her face, she was just as surprised as he was.
Cedric turned off his iPod and removed the earbuds. “We meet again.”
“Yes.” She slid some bills into her wallet and stepped away from the ATM. “Been hit by any large trucks lately?”
Cedric laughed. “No. I met a beautiful woman last night who taught me a valuable lesson.”
The woman blushed. “I see. And what would that lesson be? Let me guess, wait for the light to change before crossing?”
Cedric nodded. “And also … don’t forget to say thank you.”
The woman nodded and smiled. “I’m Ellie, by the way.”
“I’m Cedric. And seriously, thank you for last night. I was rude.” He shrugged. “I guess my mind was somewhere else.” Like on her legs. And her hair. Can’t forget those lips either. “Or maybe I just have some unresolved issues.”
Ellie laughed. “Who doesn’t?”
“Good point.”
There was something about this woman—besides her beauty—that Cedric liked. She had personality and he was pretty sure they had a connection. Otherwise, why would she still be talking to him? The thought of asking her out got his heart pounding. Maybe small talk first would calm his nerves before he asked her.
“You work around here?”
“Yeah, just around the corner at—”
Tofu yanked the leash from Cedric’s hand and took off down the sidewalk. “Crap! Excuse me, gotta run. Nice seeing you!” he added as he sprinted down the street.
Great timing, Tofu. He must have seen a squirrel or a cat. Cedric wasn’t holding onto the leash very well, obviously distracted by Ellie. He wanted to talk more with her, but if anything happened to Tofu, he’d be devastated.
“Arf. Arf, arf, arf.”
“Tofu, stop!”
The dog finally stopped a hundred yards down the street by a row of bushes on the side of a building.
When he caught up to Tofu, Cedric gasped. “Holy crap.”
Tofu was sniffing a man who lay on the ground. A dead man?
He moved toward the man to get a closer look. Most likely in his forties, the man was dressed in shorts, a T-shirt, and tennis shoes. He must have been on the way to the athletic club, Cedric thought, as he eyed the man’s bag of tennis rackets.
Tofu sniffed the man’s shoes and Cedric grabbed the man’s wrist and checked for a pulse. He thought he felt something faint, but wasn’t sure.
“Arf. Arf, arf, arf.”
Tofu licked the man on the face and Cedric pulled him back.
“No, Tofu.”
Cedric pressed 9-1-1 on his cell phone, then clamped it between his shoulder and cheek, tying Tofu to a post.
“9-1-1,” answered the dispatcher. “What’s your emergency?”
“I found a man on the ground, unconscious.” Cedric’s phone slipped from his hands and landed in between the man’s legs. “Crap.” Cedric reached in to grab his phone.
“Sir, are you there?”
“Yeah. I’m here.”
“Sir, where are you?”
“Right next to—” Cedric stared at his phone that was in two pieces, the body of the phone still in his hand and the battery that fell in between the man’s legs. His heart raced. He got down on his knees and looked into the man’s mouth. There didn’t appear to be anything blocking the airway, so he loosened the man’s jacket, tilted his head back, pinched his nostrils shut, and blew air into his lungs.
He paused a moment and then blew air into his lungs again and heard the sound of a car approaching. Cedric felt as if somebody was watching him, and he tried to stay focused. He grabbed his cell phone battery from between the man’s legs, counting the time in between compressions and looked behind himself, noticing a Chinese man sitting in an old Ford Escort station wagon. The man watched Cedric through the driver’s side window.
Tofu barked and the man took off. He traveled about thirty feet, slammed on the brakes, put it in reverse, and drove backwards, ending up right back where he was a few seconds earlier.
Cedric watched the man throw a newspaper from the car window, landing perfectly in front of the door of one of the shops. He nervously looked over to Cedric again and then took off.
Cedric looked back down at the man on the ground who now had his eyes open. “You okay?”
The man coughed. “Never been better.”
Cedric wiped his mouth.
“You didn’t just…”
“What?”
“Mouth-to-mouth?”
“Of course. I thought you were dying.”
The man wiped his mouth too. “God. People don’t do that anymore. Hasn’t anyone heard of chest compressions? And even
that
wasn’t necessary. You’re the fourth one this week.”
“The fourth?”
“I’m a chronic fainter.”
Cedric blinked.
“Orthostatic hypotension is what they call it,” the man continued. “It may be linked to Lupus. Whatever the reason, I faint almost as much as I go to the bathroom. Hey, give me a hand, would ya?”
Cedric grabbed his hand and pulled him up to his feet. “You pass out every day?”
The man nodded and brushed off the rear of his pants, then the front. “And I’ve fainted in some odd places too. My class reunion, a 49er game, the confessional booth. Heck, I’ve even fainted while driving.”
“No.”
“Oh yeah. They took away my license after I drove into the Guadalupe River last year. When I came to, I was down stream near the town of Milpitas, wondering how the hell a duck got in my car. They sure poop a lot, don’t they?”
The man’s legs buckled and he hit the ground. Unconscious again.
“This can’t be happening.”
Cedric saw a light on in one of the buildings and pounded on the door. He stopped when he heard the sound of a siren.
A cop got out of the car and approached Cedric. “What’s going on here?”
A second car pulled up and the other cop checked the man on the ground.
“I’m looking for help,” said Cedric.
“That business doesn’t open for two hours.”
“I was out for a run and found that guy by the tree, unconscious. He’s got Orthopedic Hyperness.”
“Ortho what?” The cop noticed the cell phone in Cedric’s hand. “How come you didn’t just call 9-1-1?”
“I did. My phone fell apart and died.”
“All by itself?” The cop studied Cedric for a few moments. “We got a call reporting a sexual assault in the area.”
“I didn’t see anything. And why are you looking at me that way?”
“You seem nervous.”
“I thought the man was dying! If you don’t believe me, I’m sure they were recording my 9-1-1 call.
“Uh huh. Can I see some ID please?”
“Shouldn’t you be helping him?”
“We’re going to get him help, but what I need from
you
right now is some form of identification.”
Cedric reached for his pocket and handed the cop his license. Unbelievable.
The cop pointed toward the curb. “Please have a seat.”
“Did I do something wrong?”
“Sit on the curb.”
“It would be a pleasure.”
Tofu obviously didn’t like how Cedric was being treated. “Arf. Arf, arf, arf.”
“Sir, control your animal.”
“Tofu, no.”
Tofu stopped barking. Cedric sat down on the curb as the man in the Ford Escort returned. The Chinese man waved the first cop over and then pointed at Cedric and at the man on the ground. The cop walked back over to Cedric.
“We have a witness who says he saw you fornicating with the guy by the bushes.”