Authors: Rich Amooi
“Okay, maybe. But obviously, he’s not interested in me.”
“Maybe he’s the answer to your fundraising problems. You need money. He’s got money. It’s the perfect fit.”
“Not going to happen.”
Ellie had never had so many conflicted feelings in her entire life. She just didn’t know what to think of Cedric. She liked him. She hated him. But Julio was right; he definitely had some positive qualities.
“He rubbed me the wrong way,” she said.
“At least you got a little rubbing in.”
Ellie chuckled. Cedric was odd at times. “He’s got issues.”
“Who doesn’t?”
“Yeah, that’s what I told him.”
Everyone had issues. Ellie knew she wasn’t perfect and some might say she was obsessed with the time, but she had her reasons. And what’s wrong with being on time?
Nothing.
“You need to ask him for money. A lot of it.”
“No! Vlad used money to get whatever he wanted and I hated that. And I’m not going to lead Cedric on. He may just donate because he thinks he can get somewhere with me.”
“And if he donated, would he get somewhere with you?”
“No. Yes. I don’t know. But I’d feel like a hooker if I did it.”
“That could be your new job title! Branch Manager Hooker. It’s got a nice ring to it.”
Ellie laughed. “We need to hang out more often, Julio.”
“I’ll be the sister you never had.”
“Thanks, I feel better. In fact, I’m going to call Cedric on the online dating thing. Let’s see what he has to say.”
Chapter Eight
Piccadilly Pete’s had the best breakfast on the planet, and when Cedric found something he liked, he put it in a headlock, wrestled it to the ground, and never let go. That’s why just about every Wednesday for the last five years, Cedric has eaten a tofu scramble at Pete’s. Two hundred and thirty-nine tofu scrambles. Counting today … two hundred and forty.
Pete Vestal, the owner, strolled over toward Cedric and smiled. “Cedric,” he said, slapping him on the back and glancing down at his plate. “Everything good today?”
Cedric wiped his mouth and smiled. “You’re still batting a thousand.”
“That’s what I wanna hear. What happened to Tony today?”
“He’s running late, I guess.”
Pete laughed and slapped Cedric on the back again. “That’s a switch!”
“Hey! I’m not late all the time.”
“You’re right. Ninety percent of the time is not all of the time.”
Cedric laughed and pointed to the front door after it swung open.
Pete looked over toward Tony, walking in their direction. “Tell him the new waitress is off limits.”
As Pete walked back to the kitchen, Tony slid into the booth across from Cedric. “Hey.”
“Hey.”
Tony raised the empty coffee cup and waved it in the air at the waitress. He grabbed a packet of sugar and held it in his hand. The waitress arrived with a pot of coffee and poured him a cup.
Tony checked her out from head to toe. “You’re new.”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re obvious.”
Tony studied her for a few more moments. “And a personality too. Damn, we’re off to a good start.”
“Pardon me?”
“You ever heard of those stories where a man meets a woman and knows at that very minute, without a shadow of a doubt, he’s going to marry her one day?”
She eyed his bright yellow shirt and brown shorts and smiled. “Listen SpongeBob, Pete warned me about you. He said you try to pick up on anything with boobs. He also said you had a small package and always complain about a burning sensation when you pee.” She burned a hole into both of Tony’s eyes as Cedric laughed. “Now, will you be eating something today or just dreaming?”
Tony smiled. “You and me. Married. Mark my words.”
“I’m going to mark them right now, if you’d just order …”
“Stack of pancakes, but I want them burnt.”
The waitress raised an eyebrow and wrote the order. “Pancakes … well done.”
“No. Not well done.
Burn
them.”
“I don’t get it.”
“I mean, burn the pancakes … as in ‘we should probably throw those away unless we can find some sucker who wants to eat them.’ I’m that sucker.”
She looked over to Cedric.
Cedric shrugged. “He thinks he got salmonella poisoning from undercooked pancakes. Just go with it.”
“As you wish.”
Tony smiled and watched the waitress walk away. “God.” His eyes traveled from her head down to her feet again. “So nice …”
“I was told to tell you that she’s off limits.”
“What? Pete said that?”
Cedric nodded.
“I shouldn’t be surprised considering the lies he told her. I don’t have a burning sensation when I pee. It’s more like a throbbing—”
“I’m eating.”
Tony glanced over toward Pete who wagged his finger at him. “That’s just not right. I’ve got a lot to offer her.”
“Sure you do. And if you tell me how many inches, I’m going to switch tables.”
Cedric watched Tony as he tore the sugar packet and added it to his coffee.
“No, this is different. There’s something about her.”
“
Any
way, obviously you got my message.” Cedric was doing his best to change the subject.
Tony stirred his coffee. “Yeah. Tell me about Mr. Chronic Fainter.”
“Tofu found him during my morning jog. I thought he was dead.” Cedric stared at Tony, thought for a moment, and then decided to tell him. “I had another dream too.”
“Oh God. Don’t tell me.”
“This one was different.”
“Right. Were you going to die?”
“Yes, but—”
“It’s the same thing. Jesus, I told you before, it’s a sign.”
“I don’t believe in that.”
“You’re possessed by demons.”
“That again.”
“I’m serious, cock sprocket.”
“Asswipe.”
“Dipshit.”
“Nutsack.” Cedric was completely satisfied with his brotherly verbal exchange with Tony, ready to move on. “By the way, I haven’t heard from the Tax Collector yet, but I did do some research online and found out the county has switched to an online auction for seized properties.
And
I saw Papa George’s place on the list of upcoming auctions!”
“Very cool. Just make sure you have a backup.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you need to have a backup laptop and a backup wireless Internet source. I know how important this is to you. Imagine you’re bidding back and forth with someone and your computer crashes or you lose your Internet. That would suck donkey dick.”
“Crap, I didn’t think of that.”
“That’s why you pay me the big bucks. I have a better idea. I’ll be there with you with my laptop as the backup. I need the details ahead of time … day, time, website, item number, everything. Do you need to make a secure online payment?”
“No. They only take cash or cashier’s check within a certain timeframe.”
“Good. Hang on, here comes the bride.”
The waitress returned, squared her shoulders, and stared Tony down. “The cook refuses to burn your pancakes. He doesn’t want to jeopardize the integrity and reputation of this establishment by delivering an inferior product.”
“An inferior—”
“Do you want them the way normal people eat them?”
Tony smiled. “First of all, what’s your name?”
The waitress hesitated and then spoke. “Maria.”
Tony stared at the waitress for the moment. “Of course.”
She placed her hands on her hips and tilted her head slightly. “What?”
“You had
to be Maria. Look at us. I’m Tony and you’re Maria, and
we
are Tony and Maria. Like from
West Side Story.
That’s romantic!”
Maria sighed. “Tony died a bloody death in
West Side Story
. You think that’s romantic?”
“Yes! They shared something special before he was shot. I want to be like him; I want to die in your arms.”
“Ignore him,” said Cedric. “I do.”
Maria studied Tony. “Are you going to stalk me?”
Tony slapped the table with the palm of his hand. “This woman is a firecracker. And I love the way that apron wraps around her waist. I wish I was that apron.”
“You do realize that I can hear you?”
Tony laughed. “Oh man! See what you do to me?”
“Sorry.” Cedric gestured to Tony. “He doesn’t get out much. He’ll be better once the sedatives kick in.”
“You going to answer my question anytime soon?” asked Maria.
“Sorry,” said Tony. “I was obviously distracted. What was the question again?”
“I asked you if you wanted your pancakes the way the other seven billion people in the world eat them.”
Tony looked over toward the kitchen at the cook, who was staring back at him. “Fine. But if I die …”
Cedric watched Maria walked away. “You seriously think you’re going to get somewhere with her? You fall in love every other week. What’s different about this one?”
“My hard-on feels different than the ones in the past. That’s the difference.”
“Please don’t elaborate.”
“What’s the problem?”
“You’ve known that woman less than five minutes and she already hates you. She’s not putting in your order now. She’s probably online searching where to buy pepper spray.”
Tony nodded. “Maybe so, but at least I’m trying. That’s more than I can say for you.”
Cedric took a sip of his coffee and stared out the window. “Let’s not talk about it.”
“I think we should.”
“Man, you’re like one of those surprise birthday candles that doesn’t go out.”
“You saying you want to blow me?”
“I’m saying—” Cedric looked at Tony who had his arms crossed, waiting. “Okay, I met a woman. Her name is Ellie.”
“Now we’re getting somewhere! Where did you meet her?”
“On the street corner.”
“A hooker?”
Cedric blinked twice. “You see? You can’t be serious for even a minute.”
“Can too. Okay, tell me about her. What’s she like?”
Cedric sighed. “She’s cool, she’s mysterious, she’s spunky, she’s intelligent, and she’s beautiful. Other than that, she’s no big deal.”
“More importantly, when are you going out?”
“We kind of already went out, sort of. We had coffee at Starbucks. One moment we were talking about her co-worker’s birthday and the next, she was desperate to find out what material my shirt was made of.” He took a bite of his food and thought about her. “It was the weirdest thing. She’s crazy, that’s got to be it. But I can’t get her out of my mind, so that makes me crazy too, right?”
“I don’t see what the problem is.”
“The problem is …” Cedric sighed. “I’m an idiot.”
“No.”
Cedric nodded.
“You shut her down?”
“Yeah, pretty much.”
“Damn. You need to quit doing that, it’s time to move on.”
“I’ve been telling myself that for a while now. Hopefully one day I’ll listen.”
*****
Cedric was looking forward to his volunteer training at the library. He’d had his background check and fingerprinting completed and was ready for the next step. The more he thought about it, the more excited he got.
Cedric had fond memories of his mother reading to him and he knew how important it was for children. He loved so many of the classics:
Cat in the Hat
,
James and the Giant Peach
,
Green Eggs and Ham
,
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
,
Charlotte’s Web
, and hundreds more. He just couldn’t get enough and was thrilled he was able to contribute to these kids’ lives and be a positive role model.
He was running five minutes late, so he’d have to wait to apologize to Ellie. His first training session was simply to watch Peggy as she read a few short books to a small group of three to five-year-old kids. He snuck into the back of the room, and Peggy acknowledged him with a wink and a smile as he sat down.
Behind Peggy, on the wall, was a poster with a quote from Dr. Seuss that said, “The more you read, the more you will know.”
Peggy was a sight to see, so full of life and animated as she read
Grumpy Bird
from Jeremy Tankard. She was a natural.
Cedric took a few notes on her style and technique and imagined himself in her place, reading to these kids. He smiled.
“Looks like the Bird has a lot of company on his walk,” said Peggy.
“I like the rabbit,” said a boy.
Peggy nodded. “Me too. It’s good to make friends.”
“I like the beaver,” said a girl.
“Me too,” another girl agreed.
“Animals are very cool.” Peggy smiled and turned back to the book. Ten minutes later, she finished reading the book, closed it, and smiled, as the kids clapped with appreciation.
“I hope to see you next week,” she said, hugging a few of the kids as they left. She straightened out a few of the chairs and then looked up at Cedric.
“Well?” she said. “What did you think?”
“I definitely could relate. I woke up grumpy this morning.” Peggy laughed. “But seriously. You were amazing and the kids loved you.”
“Well, I’m sure they’re going to love you too.”
Peggy filled Cedric in on the next step, which would be watching her during a one-on-one reading session.
“Those are even more special,” she said. “You develop a wonderful connection with the child and watch them as they develop an excitement, a passion for reading. Occasionally, I even hear from someone I read to fifteen or twenty years ago, thanking me for the time I spent with them. Some say that early passion for reading helped them in school and got them into college. It’s a wonderful feeling.”
“I’m sure it is. I can’t wait.”
After Cedric said goodbye to Peggy, he walked through the library, promising himself he would first—before anything—apologize to Ellie.
He had barely walked a few feet before he spotted her talking to a slim, good-looking man in the Tech Center, an Internet room with fifteen computers. It was the same guy who was a fan of women’s two-piece ensembles.