Fixed (25 page)

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Authors: Beth Goobie

Tags: #Fiction, #Science Fiction, #General, #Juvenile Fiction, #Family, #Social Issues, #Values & Virtues, #JUV000000

Slowly Nellie sat up and stared at her arms. There were no straps on them. Where, then, had that thought come from? Another flash of pain came at her and she waited it out, clutching her nose and
gagging. Then, as it receded, she felt something lift off the ridge of her left nostril. Abruptly there was a gripping sensation on her left ear.

“No,” she heard a voice whimper. “Please, no.” Another wave of pain hit, as excruciating as the previous ones. With a moan, Nellie collapsed to the floor and flattened both hands over her left ear. Wave after wave of pain rode over her and she began tearing at her ear, trying to pull it off her head. Anything would be better than this pain, even living without an ear, even if it meant they would release her as a no-longer functional cadet.

Without warning there was no pain. The grip on Nellie’s ear let go, and for a moment she felt herself floating in absolute relief. Then something invisible began to push at her left knee, and suddenly she understood what was going on. She was experiencing a mind link with Nell, who was being tortured with the Black Box.

Inside Nellie’s head, a filing cabinet surfaced and opened. A file tumbled out, and in a flash she remembered a time just after she’d entered Black Core. It was early morning and she’d been taken to a part of the Detta complex she’d never seen before, probably K Block, but at the time she was told only that she was about to be put through another training session, a workout to toughen her up, and that she could earn points by being strong. Then the Black Box had been brought out. It was small, nothing impressive, just a black box with several long wires running out of it that were attached to clamps. Several Detta officers had tortured her with it for what had seemed hours, attaching the clamp to different parts of her body, even the part to which they were attaching the clamp on Nell right now. And when they’d finished, they’d told her — she remembered their words so clearly — “If you ever give us trouble, ever disobey a command or defy a superior, this is what will happen to you. Only next time it’ll be worse, ten times worse. We went easy on you today.”

A new wave of pain followed, and Nellie dissolved into livid fire. Compared to her nose and ear, this was a thousand times worse for there were no boundaries to it, the pain seemed to penetrate the very core of her being. Then it receded and a second wave hit, white-hot and greater than the first. But as it shot through her, the invisible barrier that sat on Nellie’s brain buckled, and through her agony she saw rising above her what appeared to be a vertical row of girls, each strapped to a chair, her face contorted with pain. Between each girl, connecting their hearts, glimmered a line of brilliant light. The vision remained, hovering above Nellie as the second wave of pain receded. Then, as the third wave exploded between her legs, the line of radiant light descended from the closest girl and entered Nellie’s chest. Briefly it flickered in her heart, gathering strength, then spread up into her brain and down through her body.

The line of light didn’t halt the pain, nor did it abate it. But for the briefest of seconds, Nellie felt the strength of others fighting the same terror, bewilderment and pain. And though she knew instinctively that this vision was part of her mind link with Nell, and these girls were her twin’s doubles rather than her own, still, they were with her. For the first time since she’d entered Detta’s underground complex, she wasn’t entirely alone.

The third wave of pain receded, the vision disappeared and the clamp was removed. Still huddled on the floor, Nellie realized that her twin’s session with the Black Box had just ended in the same manner her own long-ago experience had terminated with three shocks to the genitals.
Only three
, she thought dizzily as her pain dissipated,
but enough to change your whole life
.

Rolling onto her back, she stared up at the security alarm and wept. After a while her tears slowed and groans stopped leaving her mouth. A while after that, she crawled across the floor and onto her bed, where she lay drooling into her pillow, waiting for her twin’s return.

Within fifteen minutes the door slid open and a drone entered, carrying Nell’s limp body. Depositing it on the other bed, it crossed to Nellie and handed her a small white envelope. “Give her this as needed,” the drone said and left the room. The door slid closed behind it.

Curled on her bed, Nellie watched her motionless twin. Heartbeats came and went, pulse guns fired on the monitoring screen, the security alarm beeped faintly overhead. “Nell?” she whispered after a few minutes, but received no response, not even a slight shift or moan. Sending her mind at the girl opposite, she tried to scan Nell’s energy field and was met by such a barrage of jagged vibes that she jerked back. Suddenly she had to be up and on her feet, moving around the room,
doing
something. Muttering and pacing, Nellie tried to keep ahead of the panic that came at her from all sides, pulling her this way and that like a puppet on strings. What did K Block expect her to do now? Why were there no instructions? And why had they done this to Nell? Sure, she’d disobeyed a direct order, and punishment came quickly to anyone who stepped out of line, but would the Goddess require
that
?

Nellie’s pacing slowed and she stood, head down, as the truth sank through her like a stone. Yes, the Goddess would require it. Maybe in the Outbacks things were different, perhaps there Ivana permitted weakness and frivolity in Her devotees. But here in the Black Core program, She demanded kiss-ass obedience, and Nell was just going to have to pick up a gun and kill for the Empire like everyone else.

But why
, came the thought, unbidden, to Nellie’s mind
, is the Goddess different there than here?
Briefly she stood, letting herself fill with the question and its complete lack of answer. Then, hugging herself tightly, she approached her twin’s bed. “Nell,” she whispered, holding out the envelope the drone had given her. “I’ve got something for you.”

Face buried in her arm, Nell didn’t look up. “What is it?” she croaked faintly.

Tearing open the envelope, Nellie removed a small capsule. “A pill,” she said, pulling aside her twin’s arm and trying to jab the capsule between her lips. “It’ll make you feel better.”

“Like in the maze?” Nell croaked, pushing it away.

“I dunno,” Nellie said helplessly. “Here, I’ll get you some water.” Rushing to the sink, she filled a plastic tumbler with water, then returned to the bed and held it to Nell’s lips. Slowly Nell drank, then swallowed the capsule.

“They said,” she rasped painfully, her eyes not meeting Nellie’s, “to tell you it was the Black Box.”

Instantly Nellie was on her feet, pacing the room.
The Black Box, the Black Box
. Memories of the pain she’d just experienced through the mind link tore through her again, white-hot and searing. Had the sensations been real? Or were they another trick, something Detta was doing with her skull implants?

Exhausted, Nellie leaned against a wall and closed her eyes. “Tell me about it,” she said hoarsely, listening to the kick-ass thud of her heart. “Tell me what happened.”

“You don’t want to know,” mumbled Nell, rolling over to face the wall.

“I do,” said Nellie, crossing the room to sit on her twin’s bed. “Tell me about it, please.”

A surge of quick high vibrations entered her brain and she heard Nell say faintly,
I’m too tired to do this now. I can’t.

Just talk out loud
, Nellie thought back at her.
So what if they hear us? I’m supposed to pretend to be your friend, right?

Slowly Nell turned to face her. “It’s like its name,” she said, her eyes darting nervously toward the monitoring screen. “A small black box with wires coming out of it. They used it on me once in the Outbacks, but this was different. Here, the wires have clamps on the end. They put the clamps on you and then they zap you.”

Swallowing hard, Nellie whispered, “Where did they put the clamps?”

Nell’s eyes flicked toward her, then away. “Like I said, you don’t want to know.” A yawn lifted through her and her eyes began to close. “This pill is making me sleepy.”

“Please,” Nellie said desperately, taking her twin’s arm. She had to know if what she’d experienced in the mind link was real. Something had to be true in this place. “Tell me,” she whispered. “Tell me, please.”

“My nose,” said Nell. “And my ear.”

Nellie’s left knee began to shake uncontrollably. “And?”

Nell’s eyes closed. Silence filled the space between them like a heartbeat. “Between my legs,” she said finally.

The lower half of Nellie’s body dissolved and she slid off the edge of the bed onto the floor. “Why?” she whispered to the security alarm on the ceiling. “Did they say why?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” mumbled Nell, rolling over to face the wall. “They want to turn me into you.”

“They’ll never do that,” Nellie said fervently.

“If they give me a gun tomorrow,” said her twin, “I’ll shoot.”

Tears slid down Nellie’s face, blurring her view of the security alarm. “Don’t shoot,” she whispered, the words like a plea lifting from every part of her body. “Please don’t shoot.”

All she got in reply was the faint beeping of the alarm over her head.

At noon the door slid open, and a silent drone placed two lunch trays on the floor. For the rest of the afternoon the girls were left to themselves. Occasionally a face appeared on the monitoring screen and surveyed the room. Each time Nellie felt her body jerk slightly, as if hooked up to electrodes. With surprise, she realized this was a very familiar feeling — so familiar she’d never noticed it.

She spent the time watching Nell sleep. At first she paced as she observed, but after a while she settled onto the foot of her twin’s bed and sat cross-legged, chin in hand. Nell’s face was pasty white, even the thin line of her lips, and the corners of her
mouth stretched from screaming. As another figure in Detta uniform appeared on the monitoring screen, Nellie tried to ignore it, focusing on Nell’s breathing and trying to figure out if she was feeling better. She hadn’t worked up the courage for another scan of her twin’s vibes. It was like a city of pain in there, as if Nell was a hundred girls instead of one.

The supper trays came and went, and the parade of casual watchers continued on the monitoring screen. Nell slept on, her breathing growing steadier and less harsh. Mid-evening, a horror movie came onto the monitoring screen, and Nellie moved to her own bed to watch it. Abruptly, ten minutes into the plot, a flicker of movement in the room’s opposite corner caught her eye. Glancing toward it, Nellie saw nothing unusual and returned her attention to the movie. The flicker of movement came again. She glanced over at it, again saw nothing unusual, and with a slight frown returned her attention to the monitoring screen.

The movie was briefly interrupted as the face of a Detta-uni-formed officer appeared, his eyes skimming the room. Satisfied, he disappeared, and the movie began again. Nellie grunted irritably. She hated these interruptions. They didn’t put the movie on pause for them, and at least ten seconds of the plot was lost every time.

Over in the corner, the flicker appeared again. This time Nellie kept her face turned toward the monitoring screen and watched from the corner of her eye. She was rewarded. As she lay, rigid with anticipation, she saw a girl in a stained and sagging gold-brocaded dress appear just inside the wall. There and not there, the girl was transparent, the star chart on the wall behind her easily visible through her body. With a start, Nellie recognized her as the girl she’d seen in her dream, stepping out of thin air to join Nell and the green-eyed boy in the farmyard.

One of Nell’s doubles,
she thought, her heart thundering. Motionless and silent, she waited.

The double stood, equally motionless, her eyes fixed on Nell’s sleeping body. Gradually she materialized until she was fully visible, her body blocking out the star chart. Every now and then her eyes would slant briefly across the room and lock with Nellie’s. It was obvious she knew Nellie was aware of her, and just as obvious she knew she was standing in the one corner of the room that was out of the monitoring screen’s view. As the movie played on, the three girls remained fixed in their positions — Nell sprawled in a drugged sleep on her bed, Nellie faking interest in the movie, and the double standing tensed and rigid in the corner.

On the monitoring screen, another Detta-uniformed figure appeared and scanned the room. Keeping her face neutral, Nellie returned the woman’s stare. As the movie resumed, she chanced a quick glance at the corner. Immediately the girl in the gold dress disappeared. With a sick feeling, Nellie fixed her gaze on the monitoring screen and watched the double reappear out of the corner of her eye.

A ripple passed through her brain, and she heard a voice speak inside her head.
Don’t do that again
, it warned. Husky and terse, it sounded just like Nell.
If they see you looking this way, they’ll come and investigate. I can take off, but they know how to read vibes in the skins.

Skins?
thought Nellie. What in the Goddess’s name did that mean?
Sorry,
she thought at the voice.
You’re Nell’s double, aren’t you? I saw you in a dream with Nell and—

I know
, the double said shortly, cutting her off.
I’m going to change vibes now. You won’t be able to see me, but I’ll still be here. You’ll feel me.

Before it had finished speaking, the figure vanished. Breathless, Nellie lay on her bed, her eyes on the monitoring screen as she probed the room with her mind. There, just as the double had said, she could feel a slight ripple in the air leaning over Nell. As far as Nellie could tell, the double was touching the sleeping girl, almost
merging with parts of her body. Then the ripple crossed the room and leaned over Nellie.

Sweet Goddess, are you fucked up
, the voice said in her head.

I know,
Nellie whispered in reply.

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