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“Yeah.” The fourteen-year-old girl spat in contempt. She looked tough, as if she’d been pulled off the streets. “Killed me, and you can’t even remember.”

A murmur of agreement ran through the rest of the spirits. Panicking, Nellie glanced down the tunnel. The howling was now ominously close.

“All right,” she said hoarsely. “Let the others go out of sync. I’ve got a gun, I can keep the dogs off for a while.”

“But it’s only a stun,” said Phillip. “The battery will deplete.”

“Listen,” another voice interrupted, and then Fen stepped forward, his face twisted and intense. “You don’t know what her life was like. You don’t know how she ended up the way she did. They made me do things too, things I don’t even want to think about. Believe me, I never would’ve dreamed I could’ve done the things they made me do. And I can tell you this much — now I’m out of there and no one’s forcing me to do anything, I’ll never do those things again. Neither will Nellie. She’s changed. She’s not who she used to be. She saved my life, and her twin’s life, and these four kids here. I mean, Deller’s my brother and I know she killed him, but that was before, when they controlled her. I don’t hold a grievance over it.”

The silence among the spirits was like a live thing. “Look,” Fen said desperately, turning to the fourteen-year-old girl. “You were in the maze when she killed you, right? And you had a weapon. Did you try to kill her?”

The girl spirit blinked, but said nothing.

“I didn’t,” came a new voice and Deller stepped up beside his brother. “And I didn’t have a weapon when she shot me. But if Fennie says she’s changed, I’ll take back my grievance and let her be.”

Another murmur passed through the other spirits, and Nellie felt their resistance begin to fade.

“All right,” the fourteen-year-old girl said slowly. “But you remember this, bitch. You just never forget what you owe the dead.”

Wordless, Nellie nodded. Once again the girl in the gold dress began to hum, and Nellie grabbed for the hand of the small girl as the tunnel faded out and the familiar blur kicked in. Without warning, a gust of energy blew through her lower body, then another, and another.

The dogs
, she thought, staring at the stun gun she was holding. With it, she might have been able to hold them off for ten, maybe fifteen minutes.

“Everyone here?” Nell called out and Nellie’s eyes darted across the group, counting heads. Yes, they were all here — the four children, Fen, Phillip, Nell and her double. And just beyond them stood the horde of spirits, still watching intently.

“How did you get here?” Nellie blurted in dismay.

“This is in between,” shrugged the fourteen-year-old spirit. “That’s where we live now, between things. It wasn’t hard to follow you here. Anyway, I want you out of this place, and quick. Maybe I’ve let go of my grievance, but I still don’t want you around, disturbing my afterlife. Take her to the closest ladder, Deller, and send her up.”

Obviously relieved, Deller turned to the line of waiting children. Signaling for them to follow, he headed off into the blur and they stumbled after him, hand in hand.

“There are two connections to above that are close by,” Deller said in his muffled voice as they moved along. “One hooks up with Detta Administration and the other to the Goddess’s Redemption Cathedral. The cathedral isn’t guarded as heavily, at least I don’t think it is.”

He stopped and stood gazing upward into the blur. “I think we’re at the ladder that leads to the cathedral. Just a sec and I’ll check it out.” He disappeared, then reappeared and nodded to the group. “Yup, we’re here,” he said. “You should be okay going back into sync now. The dogs are a ways off, and they won’t smell you.” He paused. “Well, good luck with whatever happens. I’ll wait here, just to see —”

“What d’you mean, wait here?” demanded Nell. “You’re coming with us, aren’t you?”

An odd look crossed Deller’s face, and he hesitated. Then he shrugged and said, “Sure. You go first, and I’ll bring up the rear. Just be careful when you get back into sync — there are a lot of bodies around the bottom of the ladder.”

“More of them?” Fen asked weakly.

“Experiments,” Deller said grimly.

A pause fell on the children, and then the girl in the gold dress began to hum. Gradually the pitch darkness of the tunnel reappeared, and Nellie felt the hard outline of a bone next to her foot.

“Where’s the ladder?” she hissed, groping for the wall. Mercifully it was only a few seconds before her hand bumped into a metal rung. Grabbing hold, she began to climb. “I’ll scout it out,” she called over her shoulder. “Wait until I say it’s okay before you climb up.”

She remembered seventeen rungs on the last ladder and counted as she climbed. Sure enough, at the sixteenth the top of her head bumped into something. Pressing her hands against the wooden surface above her, she pushed but felt no give. Panic flared and she pushed harder. This time there was a slight shudder, and the trap-door began to lift. To Nellie’s relief, there was only quiet and darkness above it. Continuing to push as she climbed, she realized the trapdoor’s resistance was due to a small rug that covered it. Quickly she poked an arm through the opening, jerked the rug away with the tip of her gun, and pushed the trapdoor completely open.

She emerged into a musty circular space about ten feet across that peaked high overhead and was lit by a dim bulb plugged into a baseboard. From beyond the curved walls came the sound of chanting as a male voice called out phrases and a multitude of voices echoed them back. Eyes widening, Nellie realized she had entered the cathedral next to the sanctuary. And from the sounds of it, the church was packed with people. Swiftly she calculated. Of course, it was the fifty-fifth day of Lulunar, the birth date of the Goddess’s
twin sons, when infants were brought to the churches to be blessed by the priests. Well, a large congregation would give them the cover they needed to escape. Leaning over the edge of the trapdoor, she hissed, “C’mon up, but keep quiet. There’s a service going on.”

From below came the sound of eager climbing, and then the smaller children began to emerge. “Shh,” Nellie warned, herding them into a group, then helped Phillip, Nell and her double through the trapdoor. Hunched over the opening, she waited anxiously as some fierce whispering took place below, then sat back in relief at the sound of further climbing.

“Deller’s going,” blurted Fen as his head poked through the gap. “He said ghosts can’t climb ladders, so I’m supposed to tell you all good-bye.”

With a gasp Nell started toward the trapdoor, but Fen pushed her gently back. “He couldn’t say it to you straight,” he said hoarsely. “He was too upset. Anyway, he’s gone now. Just leave him be.”

A tight gulping sadness descended upon the group as Nell buried her face in her hands. Still kneeling by the trapdoor, Nellie hunched motionless and watched her twin sob. No thoughts moved in her head, her brain seemed to be in some in-between place, out of sync and disconnected from everyone else. Abruptly, without a word, she slipped through the trapdoor and descended the ladder, back into the stench and the ooze. “Deller?” she called softly, her voice echoing against the tunnel walls. “Deller, are you there? It’s Nellie. Not Nellie Joan — the ... other one.”

Something flickered to her right and she saw Deller’s pale figure come toward her in the darkness. “What d’you want?” he asked gruffly. “If you’ve come to say you’re sorry, don’t bother. It’s not going to change anything.”

“No,” stammered Nellie. “Well, I
am
sorry, but that’s not why I came back down. Fen said you can’t climb the ladder.”

Deller shrugged. “The life of a ghost. It’s solid and I’m not.”

“But you’re walking on the tunnel floor,” said Nellie.

“Not really,” said Deller. “I’m floating over it. My feet don’t actually touch it. Anyway, climbing up and down is different than walking level. You have to be able to grab onto the rungs to do that, and I’m not solid, so I can’t. And ghosts can’t fly, y’know. So it looks like I’m stuck down here.” He shrugged again, but there was a catch in his voice as he added, “For eternity.”

“Could you ... ,” Nellie hesitated, her heart pounding so hard she could barely breathe. “Well, d’you think you could go up the ladder if I carried you inside me?”

Deller’s mouth dropped and he stared at her.

“I just thought,” Nellie said quickly, her face growing flushed. “Well, the Gods taught me how to take one of Them inside me — as vibrations, y’know? So I thought maybe I could do it with you too. I could take you inside me as vibrations and carry you up the ladder, and when we got into the cathedral you could come back out and walk around there like you do down here.”

For another long moment Deller simply stared, then muttered, “I’ve never heard of anything like that.”

Nellie shrugged nervously. “Me neither.”

“Well ... ,” Deller paused. “You sure about this? Like I’m
dead,
and you’re —”

“C’mon,” said Nellie, fighting off a wave of fidgets. “Let’s just do it.”

A look of incredulity crossed Deller’s face. “You’ve got guts,” he said slowly. “I’ll say that much for you, Nellie-The-Other-One.”

They stood looking at each other, and then Deller stepped awkwardly toward her. At the last second a surge of fear swept Nellie, closing her eyes, and she missed seeing the actual moment the spirit passed into her body. But she felt it — a coldness like a low sigh sifting into her flesh. A trembling ran through her and a deep heaviness, as if the weight of her body had suddenly grown too great to bear. Then, without warning, she felt something smash into her throat and tear it open, followed by the brief sensation of fluid
pouring out. Instinctively she pressed her hands to the hole, trying to catch what was leaving and push it back in, but it was gone, all of it — every color she’d seen, every taste and scent, the sound of every bird chirp and laugh, the touch of someone’s hand.

She was dead. Not released —
dead
, completely dead. Standing in the tunnel beneath the Goddess’s Redemption Cathedral, Nellie stared dully about herself and wondered where she was and what she was doing there. She couldn’t remember, couldn’t remember ... ever ... doing ...
being
anyone ...

“Nellie?” The word came from above, a single girl’s voice traveling down through the gloom toward her. Slowly Nellie turned toward it.

“Nellie, are you there?” the voice called again.

A grunt came out of Nellie’s mouth, barely audible.

“NELLIE!” Feet began to descend the ladder and then someone was beside her, groping for her in the dark. “Here you are,” said the girl. “What’s the matter with you? Why did you come back down here? Did you see Deller? Deller,” the girl called softly, then gave a long sigh. “I guess Fen’s right,” she muttered. “He’s gone.”

“Did you find her?” called another voice from above, a boy’s voice.

“Yeah,” said the girl. “But she won’t say anything. She’s a zombie.”

“Get her to climb up,” said the boy.

“I’ll try,” said the girl. Taking Nellie’s hands, she placed them on the ladder, then lifted her right foot onto the bottom rung. “Climb,” she ordered, and when Nellie didn’t respond, placed her shoulder under Nellie’s butt and heaved upward. A tiny spark shot through Nellie and she lifted her foot to the next rung. “That’s right,” panted the girl, again shoving Nellie’s butt with her shoulder, and slowly Nellie’s foot lifted and settled on the next rung. “Great,” grunted the girl, and Nellie’s foot lifted once more. Slowly they progressed up the ladder, the girl shoving Nellie’s butt repeatedly with her
shoulder as Nellie lifted the immense weight of one foot, then the other, climbing toward the faint square of light above her. Finally her head passed through the trapdoor and hands reached toward her, pulling her upward.

“Your hands are freezing!” hissed a boy with slanted green eyes. “So is your arm.” Warm hands touched her cheek. “Even your face is cold.”

“What’s the matter with her?” asked a small girl standing nearby. Coming closer, she took one of Nellie’s ice-cold hands and peered up at her. “Don’t go away,” she said, her eyes steady and unblinking. “You can’t go away. I like you. You have to stay here with us.”

A shudder ran through Nellie, and a slight flickering of warmth, and then the inner heaviness began to shift. Abruptly she was filled with an intense desire to belch and fart, as if she needed to eject something from her body. Grunting low in her throat, she gave herself a long rumbling shake. An inner presence seemed to be coming awake and uncurling itself. She grunted again, hurrying it along, and then with a quiet popping sensation the presence stepped free of her, out into the space in front of her body.

“Deller,” gasped a voice. A long trembling lifted through Nellie, and she remembered who and where she was.

“Is he here?” she asked, blinking rapidly. “Did I get him out of the tunnel?”

“Yeah, you did. You got me up here,” said an oddly muffled voice, and Nellie’s eyes focused on the pale transparent figure that stood beside her, grinning exuberantly. Her knees went weak and she staggered slightly.

“Oh, good,” she whispered. “That’s good, that’s just so good.” Tears swarmed her eyes and she brushed at them impatiently, then realized she was still holding the stun gun. Skipping her gaze past her twin, who was standing with her eyes riveted to Deller’s face, she turned to the girl in the gold dress. “So what’s next?” she asked hoarsely.

Nell’s double gave her a fierce grin and pointed to the right. “There’s a door here. It’s the only way out, except down, of course. And there’s the other skins, but they’re fixed, so we should just stay in this one.”

“Okay,” said Nellie. “It’s this door.” Leaning against it, she pressed her ear to the door’s surface. Beyond it the chanting had stopped, and the congregation was singing a familiar hymn. Their voices sounded very close. Sending her mind through the door, Nellie scanned the immediate area. It was difficult to focus — exhaustion was buzzing her brain and her stomach felt like an empty pit, but she was able to get a general sense of hundreds of people seated in pews.