Flaw Less (21 page)

—
Kina Battle

 

 

“What's smelling so good?” asked Charles, getting a whiff of Kina's candied yams, fried chicken, and collard greens.

Kina strolled into his office and proudly presented Charles's meal to him in a covered plate. “I made you some dinner. I knew you'd be hungry after putting in so much extra time, and I know Sullivan doesn't like to cook.”

“She hasn't lately,” Charles admitted. “She's been so tired for the past few days. I haven't had any luck getting her to go see her doctor.”

“Don't you want to see what I cooked for you?” asked Kina. The sooner they stopped talking about Sullivan, the better.

Charles lifted the foil covering the food. “You made enough for Pharaoh and his whole army, didn't you, Sister Battle?” He smiled. Kina loved that she was the one who put that smile on his face. “That was mighty kind of you. Maybe some of this good home cookin' will help my wife get her strength back and start feeling better.”

Kina was miffed. Sullivan wasn't supposed to be part of the package. “You don't really have to share it if you don't want to,” Kina told him. “I made it especially for you.”

“That was thoughtful, but if it's just the same to you, I don't want to deprive my wife of such a fine meal. It wouldn't be right.”

“Suit yourself,” muttered Kina in a huff.

Charles picked up on the attitude. “Is everything all right between you and Sullivan?”

“I'm sure it will be . . . eventually.”

“Well, I won't pry, it's none of my business. I hope you both remember that the Word says we are to ‘live in harmony with one another, be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessings, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.'”

“I also know what the Word says about a wife honoring and respecting her husband,” hinted Kina. “I just don't like the way she treats you, Pastor.”

“I hope that's not what you two are in strife about!” revealed Charles. “My wife treats me just fine, Sister Battle. I don't know what it looks like to you from the outside, but Sullivan and I understand each other. I give her what she needs, and she gives me what I need. That's all anyone can ask for.”

“Don't you ever think there could be another woman out there who's perfect for you?”

“No,” he answered without leaving room for doubt. “I'm married to the one the Lord sent to me.”

Kina pouted. “What do you even see in her? I mean, I know she's beautiful and all that, but that's just surface. What can she offer you other than that?”

Charles squinted his eyes, confounded by Kina's bitter words against his wife and her friend. “She's my wife. I love her.”

“But why?” Kina whined. “I mean, she doesn't . . . She doesn't deserve someone like you. You're kind and decent. You're everything she's not!”

“That's enough,” Charles said sternly. “Now, sister, I know that we've known each other a long time. Because you and my wife are friends, you're privy to more information than most people. That said, my wife is not up for discussion, and neither is my marriage. Is that clear?”

“Fine, I won't discuss your marriage to Sullivan.” Kina inched closer to him. “I'll discuss the kind of life you could have if you were married to me.”

“What?” spewed Charles. It was the only thing he could muster, not believing what he was hearing.

“Pastor, you and I have so much in common. We're more equally yoked than you and Sullivan will ever be. I would appreciate you, she doesn't. I don't mind cooking for you and helping out at the church. You'd never have to worry about me lusting after every young preacher you invite to the church or bringing shame to your ministry. I can be the kind of wife that you prayed about if you give me a chance.”

Charles held up his hands. “Don't say anything else. I've heard enough.” He distanced himself from her. “Now, Sister Battle, I like you. You do excellent work around here, and I believe you have a good heart, but I absolutely cannot tolerate this kind of behavior from you or anyone else on my staff. I'm in love with my wife, I'm committed to Sullivan Webb and only Sullivan Webb, do you understand that?”

“I don't know why,” griped Kina.

“You don't have to know why!” he roared. “She's my wife, and that's all you need to know. Sister Battle, I realize that you're a single parent, and this has been a difficult time for you. I'd really hate to release you from our staff, but perhaps it's time we consider moving you somewhere else. I don't think this arrangement is working out quite the way we'd hoped. I really think you should leave before one of us gets into the flesh and say something that doesn't need to be said.”

“Are you firing me?”

“I don't want to act in haste, and I don't want you to do or say anything out of emotion. Why don't you just go home for a few days to give me a chance to pray about this and give you a chance to put things in perspective, all right?”

“If my working here is the reason we can't be together, I'll quit.”

Charles stood firm. “The reason we can't be together is that I'm married, and I have absolutely no interest in being with you!”

Kina was heartbroken. After laying it all on the line and pouring her heart out to Charles, he still wanted Sullivan. “You're married to a woman who doesn't respect you. She doesn't love you. Sullivan wants a sponsor, not a husband! You can do better than that. I'm offering you better than that.” She moved in to kiss him.

Charles quickly rebuffed her advances. “I thought we were going to be able to work this out amicably, but you're not listening to me. I need you to leave this office right now. Don't return until and unless I call you.”

Kina snorted. “She's really got you fooled, doesn't she?”

“Sister Battle, I asked you to leave. Please don't force me to call security.”

Without thinking, Kina fired the best weapon in her arsenal. “Did she tell you she's pregnant?”

Charles picked up the phone. “I'm calling security.”

“I'm not lying to you, Pastor. Sullivan's pregnant. That's why she's been so freaked out lately. That's why she went to go see her mother,” blurted out Kina.

Charles slowly hung up the phone. “My wife is pregnant?”

Kina nodded. “Yes.”

Charles appeared disorientated. “If that was true, Sullivan would've told me that. She's been trying to get pregnant for months.”

“She didn't want to tell you because she knows the baby isn't yours. It's Vaughn's child, but she was planning to pass it off as yours.”

Charles seized the back of the chair for support. “No . . . Sullivan wouldn't do anything like that. You don't know Sullivan if you think she'd do that.”

“
You
don't know Sullivan if you think she
wouldn't!
This shouldn't even come as much of a surprise. She has no morals, Pastor. She's a whore just like her mother, and not even you can change that.”

Charles struggled to catch his breath. “I want you to leave.”

Kina saw that the color in his face had changed. He looked to be in pain. “Pastor, are you all right?”

“Go!” he barked. “Just go!”

The tone he'd spoken to her put fear into Kina. She quickly snatched up her purse and scurried out.

Kina stood outside of the church offices, dizzy with emotion. What had she done? She replayed the last ten minutes over in her head again. Had she really just confessed her unrequited love to the pastor, lost her job, and destroyed her best friend's marriage, all in one fell swoop?

Kina leaned against the wall and slid to the ground. “Oh my God!” she cried. “What did I just do? What have I done?”

She quickly composed herself. Perhaps if she acted quickly, something could still be salvaged. She had to make a move before Charles could call Sullivan, before Charles could call anyone.

She raced back inside. “Pastor!” she called frantically. “Pastor!”

Kina barged into his office, but she didn't find him standing at the desk where she left him. “Where could he be that quick?” she asked aloud.

Kina looked down and gasped at the sight before her. Charles's seemingly lifeless body lay facedown motionless on the floor. She shook him to rouse him. “Pastor Webb?”

She tried in vain to roll him over, but he was too heavy and too limp. Then she tried to check for a heartbeat, pulse—any sign of life. She didn't feel anything.

“Oh my God!”
she screamed. “
Help! Somebody help me!
”

—
Sullivan Webb

 

 

Despite all the prayers and positive affirmations being sent her way, there were no words that could comfort Sullivan since receiving Kina's frantic phone call telling her that Charles had collapsed and was being rushed to the hospital. When Sullivan arrived, she was met by Kina, Angel, and Lawson as well as key leaders and prayer warriors from the church.

“How did this happen?” Sullivan wailed. “He was fine when he left home this morning. He seemed okay when I talked to him a few hours ago.”

Angel tried to console her. “We don't really know what happened, but he's alive, and he wasn't out that long before Kina found him and called the paramedics.”

Sullivan turned to Kina. “Do you have any idea what he was doing right before he passed out?”

Kina shook her head. What was she supposed to say—that she'd tried to seduce the pastor away from his wife, then revealed that Sullivan was pregnant by another man right before he collapsed?

“No, I was out of the office,” said Kina. “I'm not really sure what happened.”

“Had he been complaining about not feeling well?” asked Sullivan.

“Not really. I mean, I think he may have a headache or something.”

“How did he look, Kina?” fished Sullivan. “Was he breathing?”

“I think so. Everything happened so fast. I just remember him looking very pale,” recalled Kina, visualizing the pained expression on his face.

“It sounds like it could have been a stroke, maybe even a heart attack,” concluded Angel. “It's a blessing that you were still there and able to get help.”

“Yes,” Sullivan agreed. “You probably saved him.”

Charles's doctor emerged from the operating room. The look in Dr. Golphin's eyes told everyone the news wasn't good before he could even say a word. They all circled around him. Lawson reached for Sullivan's hand.

“Dr. Golphin, how bad is it?” asked Sullivan, trembling. “Oh, God, tell me we didn't lose him!” she cried.

“He's alive,” the doctor confirmed. “He had a stroke, Mrs. Webb.” Sullivan knees buckled.

One of the associate pastors caught her before she fell. “Are you all right, Sister Webb?” he asked.

Sullivan regained her equilibrium and took a few deep breaths. “I'm fine. I need to find out about my husband.” Sullivan's eyes began to water. “Just tell me he's going to be okay. Please tell me he's going to live.”

“It's too soon to definitively say anything,” Dr. Golphin expounded. “Right now, he's stabilized and sleeping.”

Sullivan thanked God before asking the doctor more questions.

“How did this happen, Doctor?” asked Angel. “What kind of stroke did he have?”

“It was a thrombotic stroke. That's a blood-clot stroke,” explained Dr. Golphin. “It can occur due to blockage to one or more of the arteries supplying blood to the brain. It impairs blood flow, resulting in blood clots. These kinds of strokes can happen as the result of unhealthy blood vessels clogged with a buildup of fatty deposits and cholesterol. They can also be linked to stress and other health factors.”

Kina gulped and clutched her chest. Angel began praying quietly.

Sullivan was still shaking. “What does all this mean? Do you think he'll have any long-term damage?”

“Every stroke is different. When the brain is deprived of blood like that, it can cause paralysis, muscle loss. A lot of people have difficulty talking afterward. There can also be some memory loss,” he explained. Dr. Golphin reviewed Charles's patient chart. “He's experiencing some numbness right now. He's very weak. Thankfully, you were able to summon help very quickly, so the lack of blood flow to his brain wasn't as severe as it could've been.”

“Praise the Lord,” uttered Kina.

“Wait, you said something about numbness,” recalled Sullivan. “What does that mean? Is he paralyzed?”

“We've noted some paralysis on the right side of his body. I'm going to recommend in-patient rehab. With time and physical therapy, he could make a full recovery.”

“How long before he goes home?” asked Lawson.

“I can't give you a firm date right now. At this point, things are still very much wait-and-see. We're going to hold him here at least three days to monitor his blood pressure and to check his progress, but I can guarantee that he's going to need around-the-clock care when he is released. You may want to consider bringing in a nurse.”

“Will he ever be the same again?” Kina asked meekly. Sullivan reached over and held her hand.

“I can't answer that,” admitted the doctor. “But we can pray and hope for the best. I want to assure all of you that we're giving him the best care possible.”

Sullivan nodded. “When can we see him?”

“I want to hold off on that for a little while. He's not able to communicate with you at this point, and you can't really talk to him.” Sullivan hung her head. “Now, if you'll excuse me, I want to look in on my patient, and I'll alert you as soon as you can go in and see him or if anything changes.”

Lawson wrapped her arms around Sullivan's shoulders. “Honey, I know that the report wasn't that encouraging, but the important thing is that Charles is alive, and he's got the best doctors looking after him. More than that, he's got all of us praying for him to pull through this. Remember Jeremiah 33:6: ‘Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and let them enjoy abundant of peace and security.'”

Angel stepped forward. “If you need a nurse, Sully, you know I'd be more than happy to pitch in, or I can give you some names of other nurses if you want.”

Sullivan declined. “No, he's my husband. I want to be the one who takes care of him.”

Angel was touched. “Sully, that's mighty noble of you, but no one expects you to take on this responsibility by yourself. A lot of people in your situation opt to hire caretakers or check into temporary living facilities.”

Sullivan shook her head. “No . . . I owe him that much. If it gets to be too much, I'll get some help, but I've got to at least try to do this on my own.”

“You won't be alone, sister,” the associate pastor promised her. “All of the ministers and ministry leaders and the congregation are here to support you and give you whatever you need.”

“Thank you, Pastor Straws. It means a lot to know I can lean on all of you if I need to.” Sullivan turned to Kina. “Thank God you were there, Kina. I can't imagine what would've happened if you weren't. I don't even want to think about it. You may have saved my husband's life.”

Kina was paralyzed with guilt. There was no way she could accept Sullivan's praise. “I'm no hero. The Lord just put me in the right place at the right time.”

“You're a hero to me and to Charles. I'm planning to see to it that you get a raise,” Sullivan half-heartedly joked before succumbing to tears again. “Thank you so much. I love you.” She pulled Kina into a hug and whispered, “My baby thanks you. You saved her daddy.”

Kina held her friend, overcome with a range of emotions. “I just did what anyone else would've done.”

Sullivan pulled away and wiped her eyes. “Not necessarily. You were there, you got help, you stayed with him, and you were praying for him the whole time. Not everyone would've done that.”

“The Lord is the Savior in this situation, not me.”

“He worked through you, Kina, and I'm glad He did,” said Sullivan.

 

 

Once things calmed down, Kina slipped away to the hospital's chapel. She clasped her hands together and fell to her knees at the altar. “Lord, I come humbling myself, seeking your face and turning from my wicked ways. I need to hear from heaven right now. I need your forgiveness.” Tears began streaming from her eyes.

“Oh, God, what have I done? What have I done? Please let Charles be all right, Lord. All I wanted was for my pastor to be happy and have the kind of woman you'd want him to have. I didn't mean to do or say anything to hurt him, it just sort of came out. Don't let him and his family suffer because of my mistakes. I admit that I was jealous of Sullivan. I coveted the life and the husband that she had. God, sometimes, it just seems like she has
everything
! I believe Charles would give her the moon if she asked for it, but I was wrong for trying to come between them, and I know that now. Punish me, Lord, but don't do it to Charles. Your Word says that whatever has happened to us is the result of our own evil deeds and out of great guilt, and yet, you have punished us less than we deserve. I know I deserve your wrath, but he hasn't done anything wrong.

“Lord, I know you can heal him. I know you can bring him back to his family and congregation. If you bring him out of this, I swear I won't do anything else to interfere in their lives. Help, Lord, please!” Kina succumbed to her emotions.

“It's okay, Kina. The Lord hears your prayers.”

Kina looked up and gasped. She saw Lawson standing over her. Kina's heart began pounding so hard that she could feel the reverberation through her whole body. “How long have you been here?” she asked, swallowing hard and hoping Lawson hadn't heard her confession.

“Not long. I figured I'd find you here.” Lawson stooped to Kina's level. “You're taking this pretty hard, aren't you?”

Kina nodded. “I feel like it's all my fault.”

“Don't be silly, Kina. There was nothing you did to cause this, and there's probably nothing you could've done to prevent it.”

“Then why do I feel so guilty?”

“I'm sure seeing him lying there and being in this hospital brings back a lot of emotions for you. It wasn't that long ago that we were here praying for E'Bell, not knowing whether he was going to pull through.”

“He didn't. What if that happens to the pastor?”

“It won't,” insisted Lawson. “But even if it does, God is still in control. Right now, the most important thing we can do is try to be there for Sullivan. She's going through a tough time right now. She needs us more than ever.” Lawson tilted her head to meet Kina's eyes. She still felt as if her cousin was more emotional than expected. “Are you sure you're all right?”

“I will be as soon as I know the pastor will be fine.”

“Are you sure
you're
okay?” Lawson still wasn't convinced. “Did something happen in the pastor's office that you wanna tell me about?”

A part of Kina wanted to confess, and there was no better time or better person to pour her heart out to. “Do you think I'm a bad person, Lawson?”

Lawson was caught off guard by the question. “I think we're all capable of doing bad things, but, no, I don't think you're a bad person. Why?”

“Sometimes I get frightened by the things I think I'm capable of doing,” she confessed.

Lawson couldn't follow. “Are we talking about what happened tonight at the church or something else?”

Kina lost her nerve. “Neither. I was just thinking aloud. Come on, let's go check on Charles and Sullivan.”

As they made their way back to the lobby, Kina recalled Sullivan telling them that honesty wasn't always the best policy. For once, she agreed with her.