Authors: Dyanne Davis
Before she could stop herself she blurted it out. “Nick, are your gay?”
For a moment he didn’t answer her, just stared then his face contorted into laugher. He quickly recovered and looked offended.
“Excuse me?”
“Are you gay?”
“Where did that come from?”
“Think about it,” she waved her arm around. “Look at all of these beautiful women here, and you’ve barely glances at them. That’s not natural my friend.”
“Not natural for whom?”
“It’s not natural for men to be surrounded by this much naked flesh and not look,” she insisted.
“Forgive me if I’m wrong, but I thought we were here on a date.”
“We are. But what does that have to do with the fact that you’ve not ogled any of these women. I know you’re not blind.”
He was staring at her like she was crazy and all she was doing was trying to protect herself. “What?” she asked. “I just want to know what I’m dealing with.”
“Sela, where is this coming from? I’m not sure if your words are aimed at yourself or me. Either way I don’t like it.” He stopped her with a hard look. “Why would I be focused on other women, half naked or otherwise when I’m with you,? That remark offends us both. Did you think because you’ve been ogling the beefcakes around here I would do likewise?”
He gently lifted her huge sunglasses from her face. “Women in bikinis don’t make me come unglued. There is only one woman at this pool who interest me and that’s you.”
He smiled down at her, racking his eyes across her body, making her melt. She could almost feel the straps loosening and sliding off her shoulder from the heat.
“You still didn’t answer the question,” she said softly.
“Do you really think I’m gay?”
“No, but…come on look around you.” Sela swallowed as he did so taking his time,
his slow time,
allowing his gaze to land on each woman at the pool then he returned his gaze back to her.
“I must admit,” he said at last, “this place does have an overabundance of beautiful women. But you’re the only woman here who pulled my attention in a crowded airport, who had me stalking her just so I could say hello. There is something very special happening between us. It’s been happening for three months now. I thought you knew that.”
“But that night in the hotel, in the storm, you didn’t do anything.”
“You said no.”
“What about now? You didn’t argue when I told you to take the other bed.”
“Why argue? If you said no, I would respect your wishes, though personally I don’t think this will end with us sleeping in separate beds. Do you?”
Nick paused for a moment not giving her time to answer. “Tell me something, Sela. What kind of men have you been involved with who’ve made you place so little value on your worth? You’re worthy of any man’s full attention. I hope you’ve never settled for less. I hope you never expect less from me.”
He trailed his fingers slowly over her torso. “I know I expect to give you my undivided attention, unlike you, he grinned at her then teasing. “I have no need to check out the buffet. I already have what I want.” He trailed his fingers over her again then leaned down and kissed her
.
Her words hadn’t been a ploy for another kiss but now Sela was glad she’d said them. He was making her tingle all the way to her toes. When he pulled up his look had become serious and she knew he was about to ask her a question she didn’t want to answer.
“Who hurt you, Sela? Who made you feel unworthy? Tell me and I’ll find him and kick his behind.”
Her already melting heart melted even more. “I’m adopted. You’re going to have a hard time finding ‘him’, since I don’t know who he is.” She ran the tip of her tongue over her lips biding her time, trying hard to not allow her eyes to pool with tears.
“Then I’ll find your mother,” Nick said softly.
“Unfortunately, my birth mother is beyond your reach, Nick,” Sela whispered interrupting him. “She died giving birth to me.”
Nick was killing her with the way he was looking at her as though he wanted to rewrite her beginning,
as though she was someone he cherished, as though he cared. She couldn’t stop the lone tear that fell. She’d never told any man she’d ever dated that she was adopted. Why the heck was she telling Nick? She barely knew him.
His finger was brushing away the tear and then he was kissing the path it had taken pulling her to him, holding her against his heart. She had to get this out quickly then get them back where she’d meant for them to be, carefree, happy, no problems, no worries, and no family. At that thought another tear fell and another and she was where she wanted to be, in Nick’s arms with him kissing away her tears. She’d had no idea it felt good to cry.
“My adoptive parents love me,” she rushed to explain. “That’s why I have to go home for the holidays.”
Sela was babbling and couldn’t help it. She never lost control. What the heck was wrong with her? She was finding a connection with a man who wasn’t looking for one, who didn’t believe in family.
“You poor baby,” he crooned.
His words were what she needed to stop her tears. She never had accepted pity and she wouldn’t now no matter how connected she felt to him.
“Don’t pity me, Nick.”
“Pity is the last thing I have for you, Sela. I said poor baby because you have no idea how I plan to get rid of all your doubts. I plan on worshiping your body for the next three days, so much so that you won’t have a spare thought for anything or anyone else. In fact, when I’m through you’ll never look at another man.”
He narrowed his gaze and glanced around the pool at the men who had on even less clothing than the women. He brought his attention back to Sela and smiled. “Naked or otherwise,” he grinned. “I plan on leaving you tired and breathless. I said poor baby because like it or not you’ve just about captured my heart and I’m not an easy guy to lo…I mean… I’m not…well.. you know…I’m not an easy guy to get close to. You poor, baby, he whispered in her mouth. I’m going to enjoy showing you how much you deserve to be adored.”
Mercy, Sela thought. Maybe it was the decadence, the pool, the men, the women, Nick. It was definitely Nick. She found herself spilling her guts to him, telling him things she’d never shared with another soul. When she finally took a breath she could only stare at him and wait for him to run for the hills. No man liked a woman who talked too much about herself. Right?
“So that’s why you’re so involved with the adoption agency you told me about?”
“That’s part of the reason.”
“We both work with organizations that help disadvantaged kids and you want to try and tell me fate didn’t have a hand in this? We were meant to meet, Sela.”
Nick studied her, his hands steepled, his index fingers worrying the bridge of his nose. Why was he getting involved in her life, he wondered. Sure he wanted to make love to her, had from the moment he’d spotted her in the Chicago airport months before, but this …true confession time…this wasn’t him. He’d meant it when he told her she didn’t know her worth but why was he telling her that? He’d never loved a woman. A body was a body, was a body. He knew the seamier side of love and it wasn’t for him. Any woman would do. They were interchangeable, so much so he’d stopped even bothering with names.
Sela,
he thought and looked at her chocolate brown eyes. Her name was not interchangeable and neither was she. She was definitely different. She was piercing his reserve making him want to protect her, making him care. But a woman with Sela’s background would be looking for love and marriage. He couldn’t offer that to her. Best for them to get that out of the way up front. No matter that his heart might be beating a little too hard whenever she was near.
“Sela, you’re making me feel things I’ve never felt before. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Nick, don’t go there. I have no plans on getting serious with you or having you fall in love with me or anything. Back up and take this slow.”
Whoa, what just happened here? That was going to be his line. In fact he was in the middle of that same speech when she’d rudely cut him off.
“What?” he asked. “Are you talking about?”
“You, you’re looking all misty eyed. I can tell you want to rush in and play the hero for me. I don’t need a hero, Nick. I get along quite well on my own.”
“You’re hard on a man’s ego.” Nick tried for a smile then shrugged.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
And just like that she had him. He grinned at her trying to make light of her rejection but saw her expression remained unchanged. So, she was serious.
Poor baby,
he thought, I’m falling in love with you. It’s too late for both of us.
***
“I hate shopping,” Nick complained as Sela dragged him from one store to the next. “You said we were going to get to know each other. How in the world is shopping going to do it? You’re just using me for an extra pair of hands to carry your purchases.”
Sela burst out laughing. She couldn’t believe what a baby Nick was being. Men. Maybe it was time to stop the shopping, she thought then spotted the Disney store right ahead. “Just one more store, Nick, please,” she pleaded. She reached for his hand, stood on tiptoe and gave him a kiss, smiling when the look in his eyes showed his acquiescence. She’d make it up to him later.
Arm load after armload of toys and clothing were carried to the counter by both her and Nick. “I thought you didn’t like shopping, she asked as she waited while he dumped another load on the overcrowd counter.
“Just for kids.”
The grin on his face was wider than any she’d seen thus far. Again her heart thumbed. He loved helping disadvantage kids. “I want to buy you a Christmas present,” she said without thinking.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I know. But I want to.”
“Sela, I already have everything I need. Seriously. I think Christmas is just a way for people to overspend and buy things the other person doesn’t want.”
He saw the look that crossed her face but didn’t take back anything he’d said. Her words sounded too much like those of his parents especially around the holidays when he’d briefly
visit them. Always the wanting to buy him a present was followed by,
Can you help out? I need a loan. I’m in debt. I’ve spent a little more than I should have
. He didn’t want to be rude to Sela, but his parents and Christmas was a sore spot for him.
He had no pleasant experiences. They’d all been spent with his parents, fighting. Even when they’d divorced they’d fought over who Nick would spent the holiday with, who bought him the best present, who’d he’d given the most expensive gift to. They’d always equated their gift giving with love and he’d always equated it with excess, too many fights, too much misery, and too much pain. As rude as it seemed he didn’t want Sela to buy him any gifts, he wanted her to be his gift. And he wanted to be the gift that she wanted, not things. So much for not getting serious.
He’d hurt her feelings. She wore them on her sleeve whether she thought so or not. Right now wasn’t the time to apologize, or to explain.
“Are you done?” he asked and pulled out his gold card passing it to the clerk. “Can I get all of these packages delivered?”
“I’ll pay for my own,” Sela said moving the piles she’d bought from his purchases.
“Stop it, Sela; I wasn’t trying to hurt your feelings. Just give me the address of the agency.” When she refused he pulled his Blackberry out of his pocket and dialed the operator. He wrote the information on a slip of paper and handed it to the clerk.
“I want all of the purchases delivered to this address,” he ordered in a stern but friendly voice. “Please include a card that they’re from Ms. Sela Adams.”
If she didn’t get out of the store she’d deck him. He was arrogant, showy and rude. Who did he think he was?
He could pay for all of her purchases, but she couldn’t buy him a gift. To hell with him, she thought and walked out the store. To hell with the way her heart thumped in her chest, the way he made her feel, the way his kisses melted her resolved, or the fact that she’d told him her entire life story in one afternoon. To hell with all of that. The only bed Nick would be sleeping in would definitely be the one beside her; he would not be sleeping in her bed
.
No way! No dang way! He’d ticked her off big-time and if he knew what was good for him he’d stay a safe distance away from her.
She’d almost made it to the parking lot when she heard Nick calling her name. It didn’t matter, she didn’t answer nor did she stop, instead she increased her pace.
“Sela, stop,” Nick rushed up to the rental
car out of breath. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, you’re right. You can afford to buy what you want; you don’t need any gifts that I have.”
“But I do, Sela. I do. I need the gift of your time.”
She blinked. The big guy had done it again. He’d gotten to her, made her almost forget that she was ticked.
“What’s going on, Nick? Why did you behave that way?”
“I should have shared this when you were sharing, Sela. Holidays mean nothing to me because they were always ruined. You think not knowing your blood made your childhood rough. Knowing mine made mine hell. I hate Christmas. I hate all holidays and families,” he said and held her gaze. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you, honest. Your wanting to buy something for me just brought back things I didn’t want to think about. You already know I’m an only child. That’s hard when dealing with dueling parents. Gifts and holidays always brought out the worst in us. And I’m afraid it’s brought out the worst in me right now.”
“But in there you bought all of my gifts for the kids even though I didn’t want you to. You were even picking up things yourself for them.”